Chapter Two: Evil Angel.

AN: I want to thank everyone who reviewed Sorry's Not Enough and the first chapter of Bfrave New World. I especially want to thank From The Brain, whose review was totally unexpected. I love their work, and it's an honor to have your review!

This chapter is for all my reviewers, thank you for your support!

I'm a believer.
Nothing could be worse.
All these imaginary friends.
Hiding betrayal.
Driving the nail.
Hoping to find a saviour.
No, don't, leave me to die here.
Help me survive here, alone.
Don't Surrender!
Surrender

Evil Angel – Breaking Benjamin.

"Hey Jesse"

"Hey Man."

"Great Party."

"Good Luck next week."

"Who are you? Oh the dude. Hey."

Jesse pushed through the people filling up his entry way, wondering who the fuck they were and how they got in. He couldn't remember letting anyone in to the house, and he couldn't even remember when he'd made his way back to the house. Last he remembered he was at a party outside of town with his legs wrapped around some Red Headed chick, whose name was Rachel. At least he thought her name was Rachel, he couldn't remember. He headed over towards the keg and poured himself a glass of the beer, downing it in one go. It hardly affected him and he looked around, searching for something stronger. He saw a bottle of vodka sitting on the counter and he grabbed it, not noticing the person standing next to it.

"Hey that's mine." A brunette haired girl scowled at him, slapping him on the fingers. He gave her his best sexy smirk and she handed the bottle over, smiling when she saw him take large gulps straight from the bottle.

She didn't think there was anything sexier than a guy who could drink straight alcohol.

"That was so hot. I never would have taken a pretty boy like you for someone who liked to drink straight." She licked her lips, wondering if he would be a good lay. She hadn't gotten any in a few days and was wondering if he would be worth the ego stroking that she would most likely have to lay down to get him in the bedroom.

"Is the small talk necessary?" He asked in annoyance, drinking a few more shots. "If you want to do it, let's just get it over with." She rolled her eyes at his crassness but didn't dismiss him. She grabbed him by the hand and led him into the closest bedroom, which just so happened to be his own. As he looked around all he could think about was Rachel, and all the times he'd had her in that same bedroom. He grabbed the brunette by the hand and led her into the spare room, knowing that there was no way he would be able to have sex in a room that reminded him so strongly of the one that got away. It would make it even harder to remain in control if he was surrounded by memories. He closed and locked the door behind them, throwing the girl to the bed and climbing on top of her, as he tried to forget about a certain brown haired diva that was always on his mind.

"Wait." The girl said through kisses, pushing him off of her as she sat up. She got up and pulled the end table over towards the table before emptying her purse out onto it. Jesse watched as some colorful tablets, some silver powder, and a syringe fell out of the bag. He nearly blanched as he realized that she had some serious drugs in that purse, but part of him wondered if they would help him forget.

"Don't worry pretty boy, I won't remember you in the morning anyway." She said casually before popping one of the tablets and tipping her head back as she swallowed it with a swig of an amber colored liquid that he assumed was probably JD or Whiskey. She offered him one and the only thing he could remember about tablets that were drugs were that it was probably E or Acid, and that they could fuck you up so badly you'd never recover. He shook his head no and she shrugged before removing a razorblade from her purse, splitting the powder into two lines. She snorted one of them and looked over at him, surprised when he leaned forward and did the line. He was surprised at how the drug made him feel, and when he looked at the girl in front of her she almost looked like Rachel. He didn't even have to close his eyes. He grabbed her and kissed her fiercely on the lips before ripping off her clothing.

For the first time in the past two months he didn't feel like he was suffocating under his thoughts. He was finally free.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

When Quinn got off the phone with Andrea that morning she knew that she was in over her head with all of the Jesse drama. According to Andrea, Jesse was getting more out of control than either girl wanted to admit. He had been attending parties every weekend for the past two weeks, getting drunk out of his mind before retreating to the closest bedroom to have sex with the first female he found in his radius. Quinn had been worried about that until Andrea told her that it was getting worse, and that she was actually starting to get worried. They both knew that the one thing Jesse carried about most, besides Rachel, was his career. The fact that he was basically throwing it away by partying every single night was unnerving to both girls and to Shelby as well. Jesse had yet to miss one of their rehearsals but when he was there everything was off. There was no passion in his voice and he was usually a step behind during the dance moves. Yesterday he had even dropped Esmeralda mid flip, and hadn't even realized it had happened until she hit the ground. He was distant and his eyes always seemed unfocused, causing Andrea to wonder if maybe he was doing drugs.

Quinn was floored by this, because she never would have expected Jesse to get this bad. She knew that she couldn't tell Rachel; it would destroy her. She would have to solve this problem on her own, before Rachel came back and found out. She picked up her phone and called the one person she knew would not want to hear from her, nearly chickening out when the phone was picked up.

"F-Finn? It's Quinn. Pleasedonthangup! I need your help." She pleaded, knowing that if anyone was going to be able to help her it was him.

"Give me one good reason not to hang up on you?" he asked coldly, still not having forgiven her over the pregnancy drama. He still loved her, and that was mainly the reason why he was so angry. Every time he saw her or heard his voice his heart flipped, and it was driving him insane because he wanted to hate her.

"It's about Rachel." She could hear Finn drop the phone on the other end, and she nearly giggled as she heard him trying to pick it up on the other end. If the situation had been less dire, she probably would have giggled.

"What about her?"

"Jesse is in trouble, and I don't know how to help him."

"What does that have to do with Rachel?" Finn asked in annoyance, hating any mention of the boy that Rachel had been crushed by. He hated Jesse St. James for the hurt that he had inflicted onto a great girl. It was totally uncool, and Finn thought he was a grade A douche.

"Rachel cares about him, and I'm afraid he's going to do something that they won't be able to come back from." Quinn was fighting tears, and she didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to hold it together. "Can you come over, please?"

Finn nodded before realizing that she couldn't see him, but agreed to come over.

He might not like Jesse all that much, but he didn't want to see Rachel get hurt…well, more than she already was. He also refused to admit it, but he didn't like hearing Quinn sound so sad either, so if he could make her happier in any way he would do it.

He just wouldn't make it obvious or anything.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

"Rachel, look what I've got!" Her younger cousin Melchior raced into the room and threw a movie at her. She frowned upon reading the title, wondering what it was about Kick-Ass that made the young boy so excited. He started going on about comic books and superheroes and she laughed at his enthusiasm as she put the film in and settled back on the couch to watch it with him. As the movie started in she couldn't help but get really interested in the plot line, although there was something hovering in the back of her mind at the familiarity of it.

Then she remembered.

Back when she and Jesse had first started dating he had told her that his cousin had just landed the part in a superhero movie, and that if you squinted really hard during some of the school scenes, it was hard to tell them apart. The curly hair on the main guy caused Rachel's heart to clench up and she silently cursed Aaron Johnson for having had curly hair when the movie was filmed. She felt the tears trickling down her face and she cursed silently, hoping that her cousin didn't notice.

He did.

"Rachel, are you okay? Did I make you sad?" She looked over at him, to reassure him, and she found that even looking at him was hard. She swallowed difficultly and managed to smile weakly before excusing herself, running into her room and flinging herself down on the bed as the tears overcame her.

She missed Jesse.

She picked up her cell phone and dialed a familiar number, hoping and praying that there would be an answer.

"Hello?"

Rachel nearly dropped the phone when someone answered and she froze when she realized that the person answering the phone wasn't Jesse, but Finn.

"Finn?" Rachel asked incredulously, wondering if she dialed the wrong number.

"Uh yup. Hey listen, can I call you back later? Thanks. Bye!" and then he hung up.

She stared down at the phone in her hand and wondered what the hell was going on before calling Quinn, scowling and cursing when it went straight to voicemail. She felt like New York was planets away instead of miles, and she never felt more unsure of her decision to give him time. To give them time.

Had she been wrong? She just wanted to go back and have everything be perfect, with both of them recovered and forgiven and ready to trust again.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

Jesse was aware that the world wasn't really spinning when he came to, but it sure as hell felt like it was. He could feel someone shaking him and before he knew it, he had leaned across the bed and was throwing up violently into the waste basket. After it was done he wiped his hand across his mouth, coughing as his body wracked violently. He was shaking and he felt as if he was running a fever, almost as if he had the flu.

"Side effects of your first time."

His head snapped towards the voice and he noticed that there was a girl in the bed, a naked girl. He had never stayed in bed with a girl over night, so he was shocked that she was still there. He must have said so out loud because she scoffed and grabbed her shirt, throwing it over her body before grabbing her purse. She started shoving all of her things back into it until she came to the powder, leaving it on the table in front of him.

"You passed out on me, right in the middle. Here's a present; thanks for a great time." She said sarcastically, leaving the room as he let his head fall into his hands. He was spiraling downward, even he was aware of it, and he wondered if he was going to be able to come out of it. He eyed the powder cautiously and, almost as if drawn to it, he picked up the little baggy and fingered it gently. He couldn't remember much of what happened last night, but he could remember that his brain had been spinning so fast that he hadn't time to think about Rachel for the first time in weeks. It had been a good feeling; it helped him become the numb robot that he was supposed to be.

If the powder could help him cope, shouldn't he use it to his advantage? He was anti-drugs completely, but at this point he was running out of options. He couldn't be Jesse St. James anymore, not without a little help. It was too hard.

He got up out of the bed and nearly fell to the floor as his legs collapsed, barley catching himself. He hadn't realized the comedown was going to be this bad; he could hardly even move. He wondered what he could do to make the room stop spinning, and he decided that the only rational solution was to get up and start moving around. He put the powder in his pocket and managed to stumble to his feet and into the hallway, tripping over his feet as he fell into the kitchen. He saw the brunette girl from the bedroom making a cup of coffee and he was kind of impressed that she'd had the balls to stick around. She looked over at him and gave him a pitying look before downing her coffee.

"It isn't going to get better, if that's what you're hoping." She said casually, running her hand along his bicep. "The comedown lasts about 36 hours the first time. You feel like you're going to die and you wish you would; but you don't. And the only way to make it better is some hair of the dog that bit you, that's why I left it behind. You're going to need it to survive, St. James. But this isn't charity, if you want any more after that it's going to cost you."

"Okay." He said nonchalantly, refusing to give her an answer as to what he planned to do. "Can you get the fuck out of my house now?"

"Okay princess." She said as she danced past him, kissing him on the cheek before running out the door. He slowly made his way over to the kitchen table and sat down in the closest chair, allowing his head to fall and hit the top. He felt like someone had tried to run him over with a semi and he knew there was no way he could go to rehearsal feeling this shitty. He took the package of powder out of his pocket and held it up to his eye, wondering whether or not he should do it. He knew it was a bad idea but he had to get to practice and it was hard enough to rehearse a glee club routine and not think about Rachel on a good day, let alone on a day that he felt so shitty. His decision made up, he poured the powder out onto the table and repeated the process from the night before.

And then it was go time.

*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*

AN: I know that this chapter is kind of short, but the next one is almost twice as long. R and R please!