Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Sam

Sam sat in the gym trying and failing to pay attention to Professor Primbottom's lecture. "Just say nay!" How many times had they heard that? Sam was getting worried. Artie hadn't shown up when the assembly started, and he still wasn't there. She had known he would probably be late, just not this late.

The doors to the gym opened and two guys, both with things that looked like dragons on their heads came in the room. They're probably here for that mascot contest the school is having, she thought. She leaned back as the lecture continued.

Finally, Professor Primbottom concluded his lecture and sat down. Principal Pynchley, a short, slightly overweight man with graying hair, a small mustache, and wire-rimmed glasses sitting low on his nose, stepped up onto the box in the middle of the room and took the megaphone. "Thank you to Professor Primbottom and his invigorating lecture on how to 'just say nay'." A bit of half-hearted applause and a few groans filled the room. He motioned for the dragon headed kids to come up next to him. "And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah to the winner of our new mascot contest, the—" The principal was cut off by the gym door banging open.

Sam jumped. Her eyes went wide with surprised. Standing in the doorway was the ogre from the jousting field earlier. The one who was looking for Artie. "—ogre?" the professor finished. The entire room gasped.

"That's right. I'm the new mascot." One of the boys with the dragon head took it off and threw it on the ground as they walked off. The ogre actually seemed a bit flustered when he said, "So let's really try and beat the other guys at…whatever it is they're doing!" With that the crowd broke out in cheers and the band started playing. Sam sat back, wondering if anyone realized that he wasn't really a mascot, and he wasn't really wearing a costume.

The ogre walked up to Pynchley and grabbed the megaphone from him. The next words he said had Sam sitting up straight again. "Now, where can I find Arthur Pendragon?" There was no doubt about it now, that was her Artie. The entire room quieted down. Sam finally spotted Artie, and groaned to herself. He was about to be hung from the basketball goal by his shirt. By the Chess Club.

Everyone in the gym pointed. "Hey, wait!" Artie protested. It did him no good as he was hung from the goal. The entire gym burst out laughing. Even the teachers were laughing! Sam crossed her arms angrily. What was so wrong with people that they could do this to somebody? And why Artie?

Lancelot knocked fists with one of his buddies. "Classic."

The donkey faced him. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"I didn't do it. They did." He pointed at the Xavier and Gary (also known as Nosebleed and Headgear), the two nerdiest people in the entire school. Artie had a resigned expression on his face. Sam smiled sadly. He was used to this kind of thing.

The ogre walked over and looked up at him. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down to eye level. "Please don't eat me," Artie said.

The crowd started up a chant. "Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!" Sam just shook her head, even though she was a little worried about Artie. Even the principal was joining in the chant!

The ogre pulled him down to the ground. "I'm not here to eat him!" he yelled. Sam let out an unconscious sigh of relief. She didn't really believe the ogre was going to eat him, but she had still worried a little. The ogre let go of his arm. "Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies, kid. You're the new King of Far Far Away."

It took a moment for what he said to sink in. And when it did, Sam was floored. A king? Sam had always known Artie was way more than the loser everyone thought he was. But a king? She would never have guessed that. Somehow it actually seemed right, though…

"What?" Artie asked. He looked more surprised than anyone, and had the right to be.

Lancelot was the first to recover. He let out a loud, mocking laugh. Sam glared at him from where she was sitting a few rows above him. "Artie, a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville!" The gym erupted in laughter again.

Artie looked around. "Is this for real?" he asked suspiciously.

"Absolutely," the ogre said. "Clean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run." He put his hand on Artie's shoulder to guide him out of the room. Artie shrugged him off.

"So, wait…I'm really the only heir?"

The ogre smiled a bit too widely. "The one and only."

Artie smiled a bit. "Give me just a second." He walked out towards the middle of the gym and looked around at the people in the stands. He caught Sam's eye once and smirked at her. She smiled back. He was about to do something.

"My good people," he started, "I think there's a lesson here for all of us. Maybe the next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, you'll stop and think, 'Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. Maybe I should cut him some slack. 'Cause maybe…just maybe…this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? And maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him.' That's right, I'm looking at you, jousting team!" Sam wanted to jump up and applaud. You tell 'em, Artie! The next thing he said caused her to roll her eyes. "And Guin? Oh, Guin. I've always loved you." Really, Artie?

Of course Guinevere responded to that with an "Ew."

Artie raised his voice again. "Well, good friends, it breaks my heart, but enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world, baby!" Sam smiled again. He really loved those drama classes.

The ogre rolled his eyes and spoke up. "Okay, let's not overdo it."

Artie kept going. "I'm building my city, people…on rock 'n' roll!"

"You just overdid it." The ogre picked him up and carried him out of the gym. The doors slammed and there was a moment of dead silence. Then people started chattering. It wasn't every day that someone was declared a king. Especially someone no one expected. Most people would likely think of Lancelot or someone like him to be a king. But it was Artie.

For a split second, Sam had no idea what to do. Her mind was completely blank. Then she jumped up and ran down the stairs and out the door, following her best friend.