Sorry that this one is so much shorter than the previous one, but I figured that I could put classes and stuff on the next one. I can't wait to write about the classes that Ed and Al has to teach.
"Alchemy Through the Years...this book is just a load of crap..." Ed muttered. Al kicked Ed lightly...kind of...under the desk Ed grumbled some more. "I can't help it if all of the alchemy books in this place are just a load of crap."
The door to the library slammed open. It was followed by a screech: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH YOU TWO!"
"Uhhh...who are you," Al asked hesitantly as he started stacking the piles of paper that Ed just accidentally kicked over. The unwelcome visitor was tall...well horizontally, anyway. And vertically...? Well let's just say she's shorter than Ed. And that's saying something.
"I am Dolores Umbridge, the Senior Undersecretary of the Minister of Magic," Umbridge said furiously and proudly...somehow at the same time...
"So...Who are you?" Ed asked nonchalantly, flipping a page in Alchemy Through the Years before tossing it on to the table.
"Arrgh! I'm here to say that I do not approve of you teaching alchemy to the students, a shrimp like you can't teach--" Umbridge growled. A vein pulsed in Ed's head and he ground his teeth, trying to control himself..
"May I ask what are you doing here?" Dumbledore asked and he opened the previously abused door gingerly.
"As you know, Corn--, I mean the Minister, asked me to oversee the running of Hogwarts and to teach here but I don't believe this this pipsqueak is up to-" Umbridge was cut off.
"Aaaah! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPECK OF DUST AN ELECTRON MICROSCOPE WON'T SPOT!! I'm not short! I'm taller than you!" Ed yelled, accidentally thrashing the recently stacked papers of notes. Umbridge flinched at the loudness of Ed's voice.
"Now really, this is a library!" Madam Pince said glaring at Ed before going to back to whatever it was she was doing.
"Now, now, don't kill her, that would mean more work for me," Dumbledore chuckled.
"I'm even stronger than you, I got into the State Military when I was 12!" Ed said, still shouting wildly.
"Well, I am of higher ranking than you, I rank as a general if you convert our system into your military ranks," Umbridge said smugly.
"Well that doesn't matter does it, if you ask Mustang, he'll say I never listen to him, and your starting to sound like him, Dumbledore, he'd always tell me not to die, because it'll mean more paperwork for him," Ed grumbled out the last part.
"It's true, all brother ever does is show up at the annual recertification exam. And once, he just 'made up crap on a train' as he put it," Al sighed, shaking his head as he repiled the notes.
"If you're that inept, perhaps you shouldn't be teaching here," Umbridge said tartly.
"You wanna find inept, look for Mustang," Ed said under his breath.
"Who is this Mustang?" Umbridge asked despite herself.
"The bastard colonel of mine. He took naps when he was supposed to work, and flirted with girls on the phone, and called me sh-shr-shr- it all the time," Ed cursed himself silently.
"And this man was a colonel? This shows how inept you're government is," Umbridge said smugly.
"Actually, Amestris is a military dicatorship, so mostly it depends on how well you can fight and keep a cool head," Ed countered. Damn, am I defending Colonel Bastard? he thought.
"Even if it is military dictatorship, this colonel of yours still doesn't do a good job."
"Then explain how he was able to defeat the Furher, our president, when we realized that he was on the other side. Furher, King Bradley, was an accomplished fighter, specializing in swords. Or explain how he was able to fly up the ranks so fast."
"It must have been luck, he must have had luck to defeat such a person. He must have connections to the higher-ups to fly up the ranks so fast."
"Hmph, as if. All the higher-ups hated him for getting promotions so fast and being the youngest colonel in the history of Amestris," Ed smirked.
Umbridge, unable to find a response, just stuck her nose in the air and turned her heel.
"I'll be watching you, Elric," Umbridge hissed before she walked out the door.
"Who's that?"
"There's no way he could be a teacher. He's way too short. He looks like he's 12! Or maybe 15, but that's stretching it."
"So then why is he sitting at the Staff Table?"
"I don't know! Wait till Dumbledore says."
Al noticed that Ed's veins twitched a lot these days.
"Calm down brother, you don't want to make a scene here."
"Yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to listen to them talking about your height."
McGonagall came through the large double doors and brought out the old stool and battered Sorting Hat. She placed the worn hat on the stool leaving the Elric's to wonder what on earth she was doing. Or perhaps if she was insane. It was a possibility. Theeen the hat's large rip began to stretch wide, leading to a gaping Ed.
"Someone must have stuck a soul to that hat!" he whispered excitedly. "I have got to look at it sometime!"
"It's the first time since Lab 5 that I saw someone like me," Al said thoughtfully. "I wonder what he thinks about living as a hat. As much as I didn't like living as a suit, at least I could move with freedom."
As soon as they were done with the sorting and the singing and all that good stuff, the Headmaster rose to greet the students before the start of term feast.
"To our newcomers, welcome. To our old hands, welcome back. There is time for speech making but this is not it. Tuck in!" Dumbledore said with a beaming smile and arms stretched wide.
"Excellent!" Ed said as he seized the nearest plate of chops and began piling them on to his plate. Soon, a mountain taller than he was had formed on the plate and Ed dug in happily.
"I've noticed you eat less than before I got my body back, your theory about you growing and eating and sleeping for my body must be true," Al said. He glanced at Ed. "Maybe the eating part was wrong, since you're practically inhaling the food!"
At that time, the ghosts of Hogwarts floated in.
"No way..." Al muttered, momentarily forgetting about Ed's eating habits.
"It can't be..." Ed said as the drumstick he was holding fell on to his plate. They recognized one of the pearly silver ghosts that floated through the wall. They remembered crying at his grave when he died. They remembered all the times they complained about his happy-go-lucky attitude. And most of all, Edward remembered the ghost of his figure waving good bye at the train station.
"Hi ya boys! There's a face I thought I'd never see again, Ed! Who's the guy you're with?" a ghost with glasses and - now silver- spiky hair said popping up and startling the brothers.
"Is that you, Hughes?" Al asked, bewildered.
"Eh? You know me?" Hughes said, rubbing his chin and cocking his head.
"It's Al! How the hell were you in the investigations department, and can't even tell who he is?" Ed said, picking up his chicken again. He grumbled darkly at Hughes about not even asking how they were. Or something of those lines...maybe a bit more colorful.
"Are you a ghost or something?" Al asked.
"Yep! I'm a ghost here, I haven't been around for a while, been doing some errand. But it's me flesh and blood, well maybe not flesh and blood, but ghost...stuff. By the way..." Hughes said looking serious.
"Yeah?"
"Look at Elysia's swimsuit edition, new and improved! The picture moves now, because Dumbledore was so nice as to give me a potion that allows pictures to move!" Hughes said grinning like a maniac. Ed and Al sweat-dropped at that.
"Jeez, Hughes, I thought it was something important!" Ed said.
"How is Elysia not important? She's so cute! Look how adorable she is! So you two got your bodies back?" Hughes said as he shoved Elysia's picture under Al's face.
"Not exactly. Brother still has automail. Well, it turned into prosthetics in this world, but then when we got on to the school grounds, it changed back to automail," Al said.
"So how are Elysia and Gracia and Mustang, did he get to be Fuhrer yet?" Hughes asked, taking another picture and shoving it in to Ed's face this time.
"Last time we checked, he was an enlisted man, but with the stubbornness of Colonel, he'll probably become the Furher by the time we figure out a way to get back home. Elysia and Gracia are fine, Winry has been keeping them company ever since you...you know, died. Winry's like the older sister Elysia never had," Ed said, trying in vain to shove the picture out of his face, and finally ignoring it.
"An enlisted man! How did that happen?" Hughes asked.
"Well, he beat Bradley, who was a homunculus--"
"I figured that out, he could have flown to the top with the information I had the night that I died, but nooo, he wouldn't pick up the phone!" Hughes said.
"Yeah, well, he was Pride and Mustang beat him, and he realized how much damage his alchemy caused in the Ishbalan war and demoted himself. But right before we left Amestris, he was back to his old bastard self."
"Hey, if you're here as a ghost, did anyone else who died also get turned in to a ghost, that we know, of course," Al asked.
"Sadly, no one" Hughes sighed.
"Darn, I thought maybe if Izumi or someone was here, we could ask her about some stuff, without getting beaten up," Ed added, shivering about the beating up part.
"Gracia's apple pie was so delicious, I wish I had another chance to taste it," Hughes sighed, changing the subject, as Ed took a bite out of a slice apple pie.
"You mean you can't eat?" Al asked.
"No." After talking a bit more, the feast ended and Dumbledore stood up.
"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start of term notices. First years ought to know that the Forbidden Forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students and a few of our older students ought to know by now, too. Mr. Filch has asked me for the, four hundred and sixty second time, to remind you that magic is not permitted in the corridors. We have three changes in staffing this year, We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creature lessons, we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and finally, Professor Ed Elric and Professor Al Elric who will be teaching a new course, Alchemy," Dumbledore said.
There was a polite but slightly enthusiastic applause, mostly from the girls who were gushing how cute the Elric brothers were.
"Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the--"
"Hem Hem" Umbridge said standing up and clearing her throat.
"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome. Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking up at me! I am very looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends! Hem hem..." Umbridge simpered.
"Al, when is she going to shut up? This is so boring," Ed whispered.
"You should be more polite, she's of higher ranking than you," Al said, frowning at his brother.
"Well that doesn't matter, because I am not part of the military any more," Ed said.
"Another reason to be more respectful. You're a civilian now, which means you need to listen to her," Al said.
"Who's side are you on?" Ed said, pouting.
"I just don't want to be pulled into another political mess, one is enough."
"Well it wasn't my fault, it was all Dante and the homunculi, and Mustang, now that I think about it."
"How is it Mustang's fault?" Hughes asked.
"Well he was the one to first recruit me wasn't he?"
"You always blame it on other people, brother. It was our fault for sending the letter to him when Mom died, and when we did the transmutation on Mom, he became interested in our alchemy powers," Al said, shaking his head.
"No, it's Hohenhiem's fault for leaving us, and that's what caused Mom to die," Ed spat.
"Are any homunculi still alive? And who were the other ones?" Hughes asked, trying to shift the conversation into something he could actually understand.
"Only one is still alive, it's Envy, the one that can shape-shift, we found out that he was our brother at one point. Lust and Wrath, who was Izumi's child, turned good in the end, Pride was the Furher. Greed was just a guy we accidentally let loose back in Lab 5. And Sloth was the Mom that we transmuted," Ed said ending quietly.
"Envy was the one who killed me," Hughes said. Ed smiled sadly.
"We'll kill him for you." There was a slow applause that signaled the end of Umbridge's boring speech.
"Well, that was boring," Ed said, propping his head on his arm. As if he even listened to one word.
"If you were listening, you'd know that they're saying that the Ministry is interfering with Hogwarts," Hughes said, shaking his head, putting his hands on his hips.
"So they're infiltrating this school?"
"Put in military terms, yes,"
"Kind of like the way Pride and Sloth infiltrated the military huh? But they're being so much more blunt about it, I mean, they're telling all the students, staff, even Dumbledore about it," Al said, looking thoughtful.
"Heh, I knew we should never trust the government. They are just a bunch of corrupt people looking for power...no offense Hughes," Ed said.
"None taken, but I bet most people will agree with you, only people in the military would disagree, after all, State Alchemists are called dogs of the military. They'll do anything to get power," Hughes sighed.
"...Amestris, his name is Nicholas Flamel and I'll be inviting him later this year..." Dumbledore said.
"Hey, Hughes, Dumbledore mentioned him before, do you know who he is?" Al asked.
"Hmm...Flamel, I don't know that name, but there is a chance that it's an alias," Maes said, rubbing his chin. "Just like Riza uses Elizabeth when she's not in office and talking on the phone with the Colonel. Jean uses Jaqueline, Vato is Vanessa, Cain is Kate, and Breda doesn't have one."
There was a loud clattering and battering, obviously Dumbledore just dismissed everyone.
"So that's who Mustang always talks to when he's on the phone!" Ed said. "I thought he was always talking to his new girlfriend that he stole from Havoc or somebody. I bet they all hate their names."
"Mustang's smarter than that, he divides his work and is women well. Of course, he does get out of the military early during evenings to go out with Havoc's new girlfriend. And yes. They all hate their names...especially Vato," Hughes laughed.
"That's true. Just like that flower girl that Havoc liked that went to the play with Mustang," Ed laughed.
"Oh? What happened to Havoc afterwards?" Hughes asked, curiously.
"Well Mustang noticed he was depressed and tried to get Falman to set him up because apparently what Havoc does shows as what Mustang does, and he needs that promotion doesn't he. And guess what, Armstrong offered to set him up with his sister, Catherine. But Catherine turned him down and he became really out of it."
"Hahaha, somehow, I'm not very surprised ol' Mustang did that," Hughes laughed heartily.
Meanwhile in Amestris:
"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!"
"General? Are you getting sick?" Hawkeye asked.
"I bet that someone's talking about a handsome fellow like me, that's all," Roy grinned.
"You better start on that paperwork," Hawkeye said raising her gun to inspect it, but at the same time adding a little threat.
"Yes ma'am." Roy quickly said as he leaned forward to sign his illegible signature on. "I just wonder where Fullmetal disappeared off to, he's making me sign all these damn papers."
Hawkeye smiled softly, knowing Roy was hiding how desperate he was to find the two Elric boys.
"Mustang, you know them better than that, they'll be all right, they always have been."
"Ha ha ha, yeah, they crossed the Gate, alchemy doesn't work on that side, how much trouble could they be in? But without alchemy, they can't get back..." Roy said, leaning back.
