A/N: My inspiration for my writing is, at the moment, Paramore. They have a song for every mood that I need, and it really helps with writer block. I warned that I was terrible at updating, but a ton is going on at the moment. Well anyways, on with the next chapter…
I took a deep breath, knocked on Lissa's door and stepped back; I had made it with two minutes to spare. YAY ME, I thought to myself sarcastically. I was so lost in thought about how Adrian was feeling that I didn't even notice that Rose had opened the door. Sometimes it was easy for me to block him out, other times, like now when I'm really stressed, is when it gets a bit harder.
"You ok Jill?" Rose asked grabbing my attention.
"Wha- Oh yeah sorry about that. Umm… Can I come in?" I asked because she had stepped out closer to me.
"Yeah, of course. Lissa is in the kitchen; and Chris, Adrian, and Dimitri are all in the living room." Rose told me as I followed her into the house. Oh, that makes more sense as to why Adrian would be feeling like this but then why didn't he tell me he was coming tonight? Why didn't Lissa let me know anyone else was coming… I would have made Eddie come with me if I would have known; he at least keeps me calm and level headed… unless, of course, I'm thinking about him. I was so lost in thought that I didn't see Rose stop and I walked right into her back, she turned to try to stable me but it was too late.
I fell to the floor and landed on my butt and started to laugh, not the good kind of laugh though. I was laughing the kind of laugh someone laughs when they go crazy, which I suppose I was close to with all of Adrian's madness plus all of my own. "Jill, are you ok?" Rose was the first to ask, but it didn't help any. It felt like if I said anything, I would either start to cry or talk their ears off. So instead I just waved her hand away, got up myself and went to sit down on the sofa.
"Jill?" Dimitri questioned me.
"Tell Lissa I'm sorry," I said as I got up, I just couldn't do dinner with everything going on in my head.
"Sorry for what?" Chimed Lissa from the door way. Oh great, I thought as I could feel the tears building in my eyes.
"Oh my gosh, Jill are you alright?" Lissa asked and with all the sisterly concern on her face I couldn't help but let the tears spill over onto my cheeks. "Sweetie, do you want to talk about it?" She said while she stepped closer.
All I could do was run into her arms and cry into her shoulder. She was quick to wrap her arms around me and whispered soothing things in my ear. It took about 10 minutes for me to calm down and everyone but Adrian and Lissa had gone to the dining room to give us some privacy.
"I'm so sorry about this Lissa, I didn't mean to mess things up again." I told her with my head hanging low.
"Jill, its fine; don't worry about it, ok?" She said sweetly as she placed her hands over mine.
"Alright," I said in a small voice, "I think I'm just going to go back to my room for the night."
"Okay, do you want to take some food with you?" she asked as we got up.
"No thanks, I'll be fine." I said as we walked to the dining room for me to say goodbye to everyone. Adrian had followed us silently, I could tell he was trying to think of something to say, but nothing was going to help tonight. "Don't worry about it Adrian, I will be fine. Seriously, you worrying is only making it worse."
"At least let me walk you home." He told me as we walked into the room.
"I already asked Eddie to meet me out front, but thanks." I told him honestly, pulling him into a hug. I just really wanted to get away from everyone.
After I hugged Adrian I had to say goodbye to everyone else, there was only so long that I could put off facing them after my meltdown. Dimitri was the closest to me, so I went to hug him first. He smiled and wrapped his large arms around me. I could definitely see what Rose sees in him; he was sweet and irresistibly attractive, plus he had that godliness about him. Dimitri really was somebody you wanted to impress. The look he gave me when I pulled back was filled with concern that he rarely let show through his mask.
"I will be fine by the morning, keep Rose outta trouble too, and make sure she doesn't kill Adrian with a fork or something." I tried joking with him, but the concern was still there.
"Hey! I would never do something like that…" Rose said with a laugh, but we all turned to look at her and she finally admitted to it.
She walked over and pulled me into a hug and she whispered in my ear, "We will talk later, don't think you're getting out of it that easy." The look in her eyes dared me to challenger her but she put a sweet smile on her face and went to stand back by Dimitri.
I looked from her face to Christian's, he gave me a small smile and I walked over to him. They were all treating me like a fragile flower, which I suppose at the moment I was, but that didn't mean I wanted to be treated that way.
"Goodnight Jill. See you tomorrow; we can practice some defense stuff alright?" Christian has been really fun to practice with but I just wanted to get away from them and go home.
"Maybe, I can try to fit it into my busy schedule." I said smiling at him.
"Yeah, because you're so busy." He joked, dragging out the "o" in so.
I just shrugged and walked to Lissa who had stayed in the door way. "I will walk you to the door," she said smiling sweetly at me.
"Thanks," I said to her, then turned to everyone else and smiled. "Goodnight guys, have fun at dinner."
Lissa walked me to the front door and opened it to find Eddie was leaning against it, so he stumbled trying to catch himself. I gave Lissa a hug while Eddie was still distracted, told her goodnight and walked out the door.
I walked right passed Eddie and headed for my room, I knew I wouldn't make it that far away from him and I was right. I heard him tell Lissa Goodbye and then I'm sure he was off to catch me. I had only made it about seven steps before he was right next to me.
"Hey, what's up?" He said it with good intentions but for one of the few times in my life I just wasn't in the mood for talking so I turned away from him not letting him see my face. The tears where there too soon and I knew he would see them.
"Jill?" he asked trying to get my attention, "Jill, will you please look at me?" Eddie came to a stop a few feet away from my door and grabbed my hand turning me to face him. Oh no, I thought to myself as I felt the tears spill over. He saw them but didn't say anything; he just pulled me into a hug.
I had managed to pull myself together long enough for us to walk to my door, I didn't want him to go yet but I didn't know how to ask him to stay without sounding desperate.
"Well goodnight then," Eddie said as he started to turn away.
"No, wait!" I said a bit too loudly and grabbed his hand. He slowly turned around and faced me. I let out a heavy sigh that I hadn't noticed I had been holding in and decided that I would rather sound desperate than have him leave. "Don't go yet, will you come in for a little while?" I asked him as I had lowered my head.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go?" He asked lightly. I looked down at our hands and suddenly I had the strength I needed.
"No, I... I uh, don't want to be alone. Will you come in for a while?" I was so worried that he would turn me down but I didn't take my eyes away from his.
"Sure Jill," he said hesitantly. I moved aside for him to step in and looked down realizing we were still holding hands. I looked back up at him and he was just as shocked at this as I was. We both simultaneously decided to let go at the same time and then he walked in.
"Make yourself comfortable," I smiled at him, "I'm going to go change." I walked over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of shorts, then walked to my closet and grabbed a sweatshirt and then I went to the bathroom to change.
When I came back he was sitting on the couch in the front of the TV but the screen was still black. I walked over and grabbed the remote.
"Anything specific you want to watch or do you just want me to choose?" I asked him as I sat next to him and turned on the TV. "But be warned, if you let me choose it might be something sappy." I turned to him with a smile.
"I will watch whatever you want to watch." He said smiling back at me.
We looked through tons of movies but I finally settled on watching The Italian Job. I had seen it a few times but it never got old for me, plus I just love "Handsome Rob". After we watched that movie I decided to put on The Sound of Music, but soon after the opening credits I was snuggled up against Eddie's side with my head on his chest. He had placed his hand on my back and was tracing light circles with his fingers, but soon his hand had stilled and his breathing became even. Not too soon after that I fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating under me.
