A/N: Hey there! Sorry it took so long for me to update this! Thanks for following, favoriting, and reviewing my story! Hope you enjoy the story! please review! And as for the anon reviewer of my last chapter, I don't care if the drink is impossible, that's why its called fanfiction Its fiction, meaning anything can happen. Thanks for reviewing! DFTBA
River jolted upright in her bed with a pounding headache. What the hell happened last night? She thought, before rushing to the bathroom to avoid vomiting in her bed. Oh, that's right; the Doctor brought me to that stupid party and got me pregnant! She continued retching into the porcelain bowl as footsteps came up behind her and the Doctor held up her hair and rubbed her back.
"I'm so, so sorry River. I never meant for this to happen, it's entirely my fault! I feel terrible, oh, what are we gonna do! What's gonna-"
"Doctor!" River shouted, standing up from her kneeling position in front of the toilet, and wiped her mouth. "Shut Up!"
The Doctor rushed up and grabbed her toothbrush for her.
"Thank you, sweetie." River said.
"So," The Doctor said. "What are we gonna tell your parents?"
"Shit!" River shouted, spitting out her toothpaste. "Oh, they're gonna kill me. They're gonna kill you! Imagine what my dad's gonna say…"She trailed off.
"Don't worry, River. I'll tell them for you; after all, it is my fault." The Doctor said, hoping she would object. He really didn't want to face an angry Roman with a sword, and an angry Scottish mum with- well, just an angry Scottish mum!
"Sweetie, we'll tell them together," She said, "It still is partly my fault for not asking before I drank that stuff." The Doctor huffed a sigh of relief.
"But right now, I'm starving. What've we got to eat?" River asked, as they walked toward the kitchen, River in her robe and a nightie, the Doctor in his usual tweed-and-bowtie ensemble, this time having added his Fez back into the mix. "And take that fez off of your head!"
"Make me!" The doctor shouted, childishly.
"Fine then, I will!" River said, extracting a plasma gun from somewhere on her person.
"Where do you keep getting those?" The Doctor said. "I hid them all!"
"Oh, Doctor, you know you're rubbish at hiding spots." River purred. They continued to the kitchen where the Doctor fixed them some tea and River pulled out some bacon and eggs from the fridge and began to cook. She dished out the food, sat down, and started wolfing down the food.
"Wow, River! You must be starving!" The Doctor said, astonished.
"Well, I am eating for two now," She said, rolling her eyes. They finished there breakfast and the Doctor waltzed to the Console room, River trailing not far behind. The Doctor punched in the co-ordinates for the Ponds' flat, and they set off on their way.
"Doctor!" River shouted over the TARDIS noise, "Use the stabilizers!"
"What stabilizers? Oh, right! The blue boringers!" He said, flipping the switch. The TARDIS ran smoothly all the way to the Ponds'. They materialized in the garden and were instantly met outside by Amy and Rory, knocking on the TARDIS door.
"Doctor! Come on out!" Amy shouted, pounding on the door.
"Crap," muttered River.
"What's wrong," asked the Doctor.
"I haven't gotten properly dressed yet." She answered.
"Right… Well, I'll go hold off your parents for a few moments while you go get dressed." The Doctor replied and stepped out of the TARDIS.
"Hello, Ponds!" He shouted. "How wonderful to see you!" He added, enveloping them both in a hug.
"Where's River?" Amy asked. "We haven't seen her in ages!"
"Oh, she's just in the TARDIS. She needed to get dressed properly," the Doctor explained.
"Oh, okay…" Rory said.
"Hello, Mummy! Daddy, how are you!" River appeared in the doorway of the TARDIS.
"River!" Amy shouted. "Oh, I missed you so much! It's been ages!" River hugged them both and they all went inside.
"So," Amy asked. "How've you two been? Y'know, being married and all." She winked.
"Actually, Mum, Dad, that's kind of what we wanted to talk to you about." River began.
"Yeah," The Doctor continued. "There's something we wanted to tell you…"
"River's pregnant," Amy stated.
"I'm pre- Wait a second, how did you know?" River asked, confused.
"Isn't it obvious?" Amy said.
"Well… no," Rory said. "I did not find it obvious. When did this happen?" He shouted.
"Dad, it didn't actually happen the, erm, normal way," River said.
"Right," The Doctor added. "It's all my fault. I took her to this big party-"
"You got my daughter pregnant at a PARTY!" Rory shouted.
"Dad! Calm down! Let him explain," River said.
"Right, so at the party, it was celebrating new life, there was this TARDIS blue drink labeled 'made especially for women', so I grabbed some for River, because I figured she would like it. Well, turns out its some strange scientific advance that makes women become pregnant with the first man she looks at-"
"WHAT?" Rory yelled, enraged.
"Of course she looked at me first! It's my baby. She's pregnant with my baby because of some stupid alien drink," The Doctor admitted.
"That's it!" Rory stood up, and lunged toward the Doctor, decking him.
"That's for impregnating my little girl!" He shouted.
"Dad!" River cried. "How could you!" She said, eyes tearing up.
"Oh, River, it's okay," The Doctor said, "I deserved it, it really was my fault I should have asked the lady what the drink was first."
"So!" Amy said, "Congratulations! I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother! Wow… I'm too young to be a grandma…" She added.
"Oh, mum," River said, wiping away her tears, "You'll make a lovely grandmother! And dad, you'll make a wonderful, though overprotective, grandfather."
"Oh, River, you know exactly what to say!" Amy said, hugging River. River began to get a little more teary-eyed.
"I don't even know why I'm crying," River said.
"You're at that point where you can blame the baby hormones," Amy explained. "Trust me, you're gonna be crying a lot. Among other things," Amy added.
"Oh, mum, I can't believe I'm going to have a baby!" River cried.
"Well, believe it sweetheart. Don't worry, you're gonna do just fine! You're the same age I was when I had you, and speaking of having you, your younger self should be waking up from her nap any moment." And as if on cue, a shrill cry could be heard from upstairs.
"River, if you don't want to create a paradox, I'd recommend we leave now. Goodbye, Ponds!" They strolled out to the TARDIS, and as River stepped inside and the Doctor was about to follow, Rory pulled him aside.
"Oh, no you don't, Doctor," Rory said, "You're not getting off that easy. I am entrusting you with my daughter's life. And the life of your unborn child. If anything happens to either of them, there will be hell to pay. Trust me, Doctor, there is no place far enough that you can run, no place dense enough that you can hide, because I guarantee you, if you hurt my little girl, or let anything at all happen to her, I will find you, and you will be sorry. Now, go take care of her, and remember, I do have a sword."
"Right, got it," The Doctor chuckled nervously. "I promise, if anything happens to your daughter, you have the full right to hurt me. But, nothing, and I mean nothing, will get in between me and River Song and our child. Nothing." The Doctor entered the TARDIS and looked out one last time. "I promise, nothing will happen to your daughter!"
"Goodbye, Doctor!" The Ponds shouted, "Comeback to visit soon!" Amy added.
"I do have a sword!" Rory said.
A/N: Thans for reading the story! Please review and DFTBA!
