A/N: Hey guys! I didn't expect this story to get the kind of response that it did. Thanks a lot! I'll try not to let you guys down.
This one is a little shorter than the last, but just as powerful in my opinion. Feel free to let me know what you think, good or bad.
A Big thanks to aray48. She may hate angst, but she is a trooper when dealing with it. Wouldn't have gotten very far in this without her advising.
Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS LA. Wish I did. Densi would be together waaaaaayy before season 5.
After Deeks left the beach, he just drove around town, with no destination, trying to digest everything that happened that evening.
Like it or not, his life had taken a huge turn. Deeks almost certainly could not stay at NCIS; working with Kensi would be too hard.
That said,Deeks felt that Kensi should get the chance to explain herself. After all, that was only fair. Deeks was driving himself crazy, replaying every word that Nell had told him. He needed to talk to Kensi.
His body must have been in agreement with his mind, because he found himself parked in front of Kensi's apartment.
Before opening his car door, Deeks took a deep breath to calm himself.
He was going to need it.
The closer he got to Kensi's door, the more determined he became. The nervousness was dissipating with every step.
He could do this..
Deeks heard shuffling within her apartment, before the door opened revealing a smiling Kensi Blye. Her smile slowly disappeared when she took in his expression.
"Deeks? Is everything okay?" Kensi asked cautiously.
"Tell me it isn't true." Deeks stated desperately.
Kensi blinked at his tone. "Is what true? Deeks what's going on?" She asked, confused.
"Tell me you didn't really give yourself up to those terrorists. Tell me you didn't do it just to talk to Jack." Deeks demanded.
Kensi stood shocked. Oh crap. How did he find that out? "Deeks…" She ran a hand through her hair, unsure of how to explain things to him.
"Oh my God..." Deeks whispered, understanding what she wasn't saying.
"No, Deeks hold on! Lemme just… just give me a minute to explain!" Kensi exclaimed.
"You… you really did it, didn't you?" He asked her, his eyes wide and showing every bit of sadness and devastation in his eyes.
"I was ordered to kill the White Ghost, and it turned out that it was Jack! But that didn't make any sense, he was a good man and-" Kensi said quickly.
"A good man? The same good man that broke your heart, and left you on Christmas morning?" Deeks gaped, shaking his head.
"Yes, I mean no! I… yes he left me but Deeks he wouldn't do some of the things they were accusing him of! I knew it was wrong and I had to find out the truth!" Kensi replied.
"Yea? But willingly getting captured by the Taliban? Kensi, the chances of you getting in and out alive were slim at best! What if they'd killed you?" Deeks snapped.
Her mouth opened and closed several times. "I had to know… I had to- to talk to him and find out for myself." She said desperately.
"Yea, and the rest of us be damned, huh? What if Callen and Sam had died trying to rescue you? Because they almost did. I lost a piece of my soul over there, Kensi! Not to mention all this shit I went through, having you for one night before having you ripped away." Deeks told her, tears brimming his eyes.
"I… I know, and I've thought about that a lot after the fact. But at the time, all I could see was going through with it." Kensi sighed, biting her lips.
"And all I could see was you coming back to me. Me Kensi. I promised you I'd be patient with you. I waited for you while you were over there; hell, I… I went and helped to get you back. I wanted you to come back to me Kensi, but… you went back to Jack." Deeks said.
"Deeks I…"
"No. You had a shot at him Kensi; you could've taken it, packed it up and came back to LA. The team wouldn't have had to go over there and risk our lives to get you- worry about if you were even there for us to go get. You wouldn't have had to go through whatever it was that happened to you. You. Almost. Died. Kensi. No do overs, no rewinds. You were willing to not come back to me and the team, and your mom, to go talk to Jack." He said, his voice cracking at the end.
"I had to, Deeks. I knew killing him wasn't the right thing to do." Kensi defended herself.
"Just tell me one thing." Deeks sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw. "Was it worth it? Talking to Jack." He asked, almost afraid of her answer.
"Well I-" She started.
"No, just one word. Yes or no, Kensi." Deeks stopped her.
Kensi stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Yes. It was. Because-" But Deeks shook his head and backed away.
"Wow… yea, uh… I'm just gonna… go." Deeks sighed. He could feel the remaining bits of his heart cracking at her words.
"Wait, Deeks!" She called after him.
"That's all I needed to know. I gotta go." The man said quickly, before turning on his heel and walking away.
Because after all, she'd walked away from him and towards another man.
A/N: Still with me? That's good! Oh the feels!
Let me know what you think. I have a general idea on where I want to take this, but I am always open to ideas. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
