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"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."
-Anonymous
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Chapter One
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Bella
His soft whispering in my ear made me wonder if I was dreaming, although I knew that even if I could dream, it would never be this perfect. With my head in his lap, I looked up at his face and sighed; he was so beautiful, so flawless. Even after three blissful years of marriage, I still couldn't believe that he was mine.
"What is it?" he asked, smiling down at me like an angel from heaven.
"I love you," I whispered, as if that was the only explanation he would ever need. And it was.
My mind turned to some of his physical attributes that made the words I had just spoken absolutely genuine. I inhaled his sweet scent, studied his perfect eyes, the way his high cheekbones shaped his face, the color of his slightly messy yet somehow still immaculate hair. I watched a small smile appear at the corners of his mouth as he gazed down at me. His jaw was tight, practically clenched as always. I observed his muscles, which to the average person made it seem as if he went to the gym regularly. He was perfect.
But he hadn't always been this way. I began picturing what he might have looked like before he was transformed into this vision of perfection. However, in my mind's eye, he was exactly the same—slightly antiquated, yet still flawless. I refused to believe that this man was ever a weak human.
He softly bit my nose, laughing quietly as he pulled away.
"Hey, you—there's no blood in there," I teased, closing my eyes before taking yet another deep inhaling breath, letting his unique aroma slowly fill me just as his love had for the past three years.
I recalled a few years ago, when I would come home from school after braving a cruel winter storm. As I entered the house, I would immediately run to the kitchen where a steaming cup of hot chocolate would be waiting for me—the only thing that Charlie knew how to make. I would drink it quickly; every drop that drained down my throat had caused a feeling of warmth to spread through my body, filling every crevice of my body. And not only did it satisfy me at that moment, it stayed with me for hours. That was the only comparison to Edward's love that I could think of. It warmed me to the tips of my toes and never left me with an empty feeling—just one drop of his devotion stayed with me forever.
"I love you too," he responded softly, bending his head down to kiss me.
I had kissed him at least a thousand times in my life, but even as a vampire, the touch of our lips sent chills down my spine. I sat up, placing my hand into his while I gracefully moved toward him. And then my lips were magnetized to his once more as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me even closer.
People always said that passion in a marriage faded after awhile—that it wasn't always going to be that love-at-first-sight feeling that movies and books portrayed. But for Edward and me it was different; our passion for each other never weakened. If it had changed at all, it only elevated as we matured. Every time I kissed him, the same feelings of love and devotion came flooding back to me as when we had kissed for the first time. During the day, every moment of the previous passionate night never faded from my memory, and I impatiently anticipated the setting of the sun so that it could happen all over again.
We both stopped when we heard a pair of little feet stomping out of bed. Edward frowned disapproval quickly filled his twinkling eyes. "She's up early."
"No, we're up late." I attempted to escape from his loving grasp, but he teased me by holding me tighter, quickly becoming tenacious. "Honey, we need to get dressed," I giggled as I felt the touch of his lips on the hallow at the base of my neck, followed by the soft, caressing feeling of his nose as it persuaded me to stay in bed with him.
"So you say," he mumbled. "I, on the other hand, suggest that we stay here all day."
I smiled, pretending to ponder this notion. "Okay that's fine. We won't take our tests today and then we won't go to college. That sounds pretty good to me."
He quickly held up his hands, releasing me from a prison I had no true desire to escape from. "Oh no, you're not getting out of them that easily."
I shrugged with apathy. "It was worth a shot. Anyway, it's just a waste of our time. Dartmouth is out of my reach."
His smile suddenly fell, the amusement in his eyes departing with it. "Don't say that. You're brilliant."
"I just wish we didn't have to go at all. I would rather spend all day with you and Nessie."
That beautiful smile returned once more as he delicately grazed my cheek with his hand. "Bella, you promised me that you would go to college. We've put it off for three years. It's time that we fulfilled that dream."
"I guess," I mumbled before I slid out of his lap and glided over to the enormous closet that Alice had built for us.
I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt for both Edward and me before walking back to the bed where I leaned down to kiss him; I could feel the smile on his face as our lips touched.
"You're wonderful," he told me with a sigh.
I knew that if I could, I would be blushing right now.
A beautiful, high-pitched ten year old's voice called our names from downstairs.
That voice—that wonderful sound that somehow made the heart that did not exist within my body sing. I pictured her standing in her room, rolling her pajamas well past her knee so that she would be able to skip into the hallway without hindrance. Her brown hair would fall into her face, which would mean that she needed to reach a delicate, pale hand out to push it aside.
She was the light of our lives, and she knew it. Her smile brightened our day; her tears saddened us. We loved her, we protected her, we made her—and she would forever be ours.
"Breakfast time," I reminded Edward. "Do you want to go hunting?"
His dark brows furrowed as he concentrated on the mind of our little girl. "Might as well. Right now she's conjuring up excuses to get out of eating human food."
"Well, I guess I don't blame her. That stuff is horrible." Although I was laughing lightly, realization was slowly sinking in—had it only been three years ago when the sound of dinner sizzling on the stove made my mouth water?
Edward had been thinking the same. "I seem to recall a time not too long ago when you used to enjoy it!"
I groaned as I stuck my tongue out in disgust. "I'm trying to forget."
We were both still laughing as we walked hand-in-hand down the hall into the kitchen; this was the pattern of our day, usually repetitive but never dull.
"Good morning," Edward said to Renesmee.
She beamed at him, her perfect teeth gleaming. Every day she grew more and more beautiful; her features completely accented her kind and caring personality. I studied her face, which still highly resembled her father's, but was now beginning to carry my traits. One of the most obvious was her chocolate brown eyes, still exact replicas of how mine once were.
"Did you sleep well, darling?" I asked after kissing the top of her head.
A wave of sadness rushed through her face before she expelled a soft sigh—a sound that could break any mother's heart, even if she didn't have a heart to break.
"Oh," Edward responded softly, pulling her into a tight hug.
"It was so scary," she whispered, holding her father tighter as she recalled whatever was upsetting her.
I extended a hand and tapped my husband on the shoulder impatiently. "Not everyone's a mind reader," I reminded him when his eyes met mine.
But before he offered an explanation, he bent down and placed a kiss on the top of our daughter's head. This was another thing that I loved about Edward: he was such an amazing father.
"Nessie had a nightmare," he finally told me.
Visions of the horrible nightmares that I used to have while I was human spun through my head. Although they were a little fuzzy, they remained one of the few parts of my human life that was most apparent in my mind—that was the power of their impact on me. "Oh, Nessie," I said to Renesmee, whose body was now trembling. "Was it terrible?"
Renesmee walked over to me and placed her small, perfect hands atop my head, using her special gift to literally show me the terrible dream that she'd had. In it was the Volturi, the unofficial "royal family" to vampires around the world. Being the leaders of our world, they sought justice for vampires who broke any of the few laws they demanded be followed.
I shuddered; in Renesmee's mind, they appeared even more terrifying than the last time we had seen them, about three years ago. At that time, they had come to punish the members of my family for supposedly creating an "immortal child," an infant or toddler who had been turned into a vampire—justifiably illegal in the eyes of the Volturi. They had believed Renesmee to be one of these forbidden children, never before hearing of a half-bred baby that survived the violence that occurred during birth. Luckily, everything had worked out fine in the end; except for the fact that my daughter was now having nightmares.
"Don't think about them anymore, Nessie," I comforted. "They're gone and you're safe."
Her eyes met mine, and I could tell that she was not convinced.
"Your mother's right, Nessie. They're gone and they shouldn't be coming back," he finally told her after a moment of quick contemplation.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, she spun around with her eyes wider than I had ever seen them. "Shouldn't be?"
"They're not coming back," I snapped forcefully, shooting an angry look at Edward.
"Now, Bella…" he started.
"They're not coming back," I repeated. I was aware that he didn't want to lie to her, but I had no desire for her to be scared either. Especially after having a nightmare. He didn't remember what dreams such as that were like, when you spent the whole day trying to get the horrible pictures out of your head just to have them forced back in when you went to bed.
Edward sighed as he knelt down to her level, taking her beautiful face into his hands. "Nessie, darling, listen to me," he said firmly, but lovingly. "Your mother and I love you very much. Everything's going to be alright. You have to trust me."
She nodded, believing the reliance in her father's voice. "May we eat now?"
"Of course. We will be out in one minute—just wait outside for us please," Edward ordered gently.
She nodded again before obediently scurrying out of the room.
I reluctantly turned to Edward who, as I suspected, was glaring at me with familiar fuming eyes.
"She's not listening outside, right?" I asked him.
As he shook his head, his intensity remained unwavering.
"I'm sorry." I offered the apology, hoping that he would accept it soon. I hated fighting with him—especially when I knew that he was correct. When I received no acknowledgment, I continued with a weak explanation. "I just don't want her to be scared."
"Lying to her is not the answer, Bella."
"I know. But maybe Alice was wrong. Maybe they aren't coming back."
"Bella..." he started.
"I know, I know, she's never wrong. But they could change their minds! Then the vision would change."
"Honey, please be reasonable; they just want to check up on Renesmee. As I told her, everything is going to be alright. You have to trust me."
Those five words—he always used them for the sole purpose of making his wife and daughter feel better. And we always accepted them. There was just something about a promise from Edward Cullen that made you feel as if it could never be broken. So once again, I welcomed it with a nod.
"Does Alice know when it's going to be?"
He shook his head. "She only knows that it is going to be soon."
"I just want to get it over with already."
He held out his arms, which I immediately fell into. As he hugged me tightly, he rocked our bodies back and forth; the soothing motion almost made me forget about our problem—almost. "I know. Me too," he said, pulling away a little bit in order to kiss my forehead.
"Mommy, Daddy, hurry up!" we heard a now-happy Renesmee giggle from outside.
"One minute, Ness!" Edward responded without breaking his amatory gaze.
"But can we please wait a few days before we tell her?" I begged. "She just had that nightmare…"
"Of course," he whispered.
I placed my hand into his own and had begun walking toward the door when he suddenly came to a halt. His gleaming eyes were full of both mischief and excitement.
"Edward, we have an impatient little girl waiting outside for us," I warned lovingly, tugging on his hand.
"She can wait. There's something on the table for you. I want you to read it before we leave. I'll meet you outside."
"Okay…" I said, confused. "What is it?"
My question was ignored as he hastily made his way out the door without turning back to look at me. And then, something caught my eye—a white envelope, which was laying in plain view. He must have discreetly placed it there only a few moments ago; there was no way that I had simply neglected to notice it. Immediately recognizing the outside handwriting as Edward's impeccable script, I opened the seal carefully, knowing that building the anticipation would make it more meaningful. Finally, I pulled out the folded letter and began reading.
My darling Bella,
My love, I have tried with all my being
to grasp a form comparable to thine own,
but nothing seems worthy;
I know now why Shakespeare could not
compare his love to a summer's day.
It would be a crime to denounce the beauty
of such a creature as thee,
to simply cast away the precision
God had placed in forging you.
Each facet of your being
whether it physical or spiritual
is an ensnarement
from which there is no release.
But I do not wish release.
I wish to stay entrapped forever.
With you for all eternity.
Our hearts, always as one.
I wish you the best of luck on your tests this afternoon, my darling.
I love you,
Now and forever more,
Edward
After the final word, the most important of them all, was read, I began moving my eyes down the page once more. I had read it a total of seven times before I remembered that my daughter and husband were waiting outside for me. I carefully placed the letter back into the envelope before walking out the door, where at the sound of my coming, Edward turned around just in time for me to throw my arms around him.
"I'm glad you liked it," Edward chuckled, although it seemed as if I was practically crushing him to the point where he would not be able to breathe.
"Oh, Edward, it was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much."
He nodded before taking me into his arms to kiss me with the same passion that was in his letter. I breathed in the moment and wished that our love for each other would never lessen even the slightest bit. We then went to join Renesmee, who was cavorting in circles, merrily and child-like.
Edward and I both held one of Renesmee's hands as we walked into the forest to hunt. Usually, Renesmee, who had to eat only once a day, would hunt when we hunted—the rest of the time, we made her eat human food. Both of us were pleased that hunting had quickly become one of Renesmee's best skills. Although her human side (and the fact that she was my daughter) made her stumble, amazingly she did so with grace. Every time she tripped, she would quickly catch herself and twirl into what reminded me of a ballet move. Then, she would giggle and look over at her father. I suspected he had told her stories of when I had hurt myself while I was human. Admitting that I had been pretty clumsy, all I could do was laugh as well.
Edward and Renesmee made a game out of hunting because she easily grew bored and distracted. They both had to hold perfectly still and wait for the first animal to pass them. Then, Edward would count to three, and they would take off running. Even though he was a lot faster than she, he acted as if he was struggling to keep up. She knew that he was slowing down for her and would laugh and speed up, realizing that her father would always let her win. They would share what they had caught and would repeat it until Renesmee was full.
I heard Edward say "three" before they took off through the scattered trees. Watching them until they were out of sight, I ran to find myself something to eat, for I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I stepped into the forest. My throat burned with thirst, as it always did when I went a couple of weeks without eating. Although the thirst was starting to become less noticeable to me, it still burned intensely. I knew the unbearable hunger of a newborn vampire had worn off two years ago, although I also realized that I hadn't been much of a newborn vampire anyway. I'd had too much self control, too much ability to go hungry to really be classified as a true newborn. This still amazed Jasper, who always had trouble controlling himself despite the fact that he had been a vampire for many years.
With a slight wince, I suddenly remembered the promise I had made to Charlie—that he could have Renesmee for the entire day due to the fact that he hadn't had much time to spend with her lately. She was growing quickly, which, of course, was normal for a half-vampire, half-humans. Thus, Charlie justifiably felt as if he was missing her entire life. I had agreed with him and gave him my word that he could spend the entire day with her.
Now I regretted my promise; if she was worried about the Volturi, I wanted to be near to speak with her about them. However, despite my protective nature, I knew that getting out of the house was exactly what she needed to clear her mind. Besides, Edward and I were going to be gone most of the day, making it convenient for her to be with her grandfather. I hesitantly pulled out my cell phone.
"Hello?"
The sound was a female voice; Sue Clearwater's voice. I knew that my father was happy with her, but it was still a hard concept to accept; my dad, Charlie Swan, with a woman. As far as I knew, he hadn't dated since he and my mother split up. And I had a feeling that he was going to propose to her soon, something I was convinced that Alice knew about but was withholding.
"Hi, Sue!" I greeted cheerfully. And I was cheerful; I truly desired for my father to be happy. When I thought about it, they were perfect for each other. Both were caught in worlds they knew nothing about—my father in the vampire world with my new family and me and Sue in the world of the werewolves' with her children, Leah and Seth, and their corresponding pack.
"Oh, Bella, darling how are you?" she asked, truly intent on hearing the answer.
"Wonderful, thank you. How are you?"
"Great thanks. I was just making breakfast for your father. Honestly, I don't know what he did before us—he can barely boil water."
I laughed at this, feeling a hint of relief. Before I was married, I had been worried what he would do without my cooking which he had gotten used to since I moved in with him. Luckily, Sue had discovered how helpless he was and now made him three meals a day, which saved him from eating at the diner every night.
"I'm so glad you're there to feed him, Sue. I hope he appreciates you."
"Oh trust me, I make him clean every dish when dinner is done as a token of his gratitude," she teased before pulling the phone away from her mouth to whisper "It's Bella" to my father. Charlie's chair squeaked as he stood up to take the receiver from her. I listened to the unmistakable sound of a kiss before he spoke to me, and I wrinkled my nose a bit at this.
Thoughts of their relationship were pushed aside as his cheerful voice greeted me. "Bells! How are you?"
"I'm well, thanks," I replied. "I hear you are well-fed."
He laughed heartily. "Oh yes, Sue is a great cook. I think you may have some competition."
"Dad, I haven't cooked for you in three years. Tell her she can have the job permanently."
I heard Sue's own light chuckling in the background as she stirred something on the stove.
"Do I still get Nessie for the day today?" he asked hesitantly, apparently worried that I had changed my mind, which I supposed I was prone to do with him.
"Yes, Dad, that's why I'm calling. She's hunt…I mean, eating breakfast right now, and then we'll drop her off. Do you have anything planned?"
"I thought Sue and I would take her to the movies and then roller skating."
"She'll love that. She misses you."
"And I miss her. And you; I haven't seen you in awhile, Bella. Will you visit when you pick her up?"
I smiled, pleased by the fact that my father missed me so much. "Sure, Dad. We'll stay for a little while."
"Good. Well, I have to eat now. I'll see you soon?"
"Yes, see you soon."
As I hung up, I saw the silhouettes of my husband and daughter come over the clearing. "Who was that?" he asked as he neared me, holding Renesmee's hand in his. She was smiling proudly, which told me that she had once again won the matches against her father.
"Charlie. Nessie's going to spend the day with him and Sue today."
"Really? The whole day?" Renesmee's eyes were filled with a joyful excitement that only she could produce. I lived for moments when she looked exactly like this, pleased by the simple things in life just as I was.
"Yes, sweetheart," I told her. "I figured you would be excited."
"Can we go now?" she begged with her hands clasped together. Her brown eyes were once again pleading in a way that she knew neither of her parents could resist.
I began nodding, but stopped when I noticed that Edward was frowning at me. "You haven't eaten yet," he apprised.
At this correct assessment, my throat immediately started burning with unbearable thirst. "Oh yeah, I guess I forgot."
He rolled his eyes as he slowly shook his head, smiling in amusement. "You go eat. I'll take Nessie home to get dressed and then we'll leave." Without waiting for a response from me, he picked her up and carried her to the house, tickling her the entire way. I could hear her carefree giggles echoing off the trees as I ran to find something to eat.
It still amazed me that I was able to hunt so naturally, as if I had been doing so my whole life. I remembered what Edward had said to me during my first hunt: "Don't think about it. Just use your instincts." I had listened to him and was amazed at what I could do when I tuned into my senses. I could hear the animals walking, almost marching, along the forest floor. The cadence of the sound was hypnotic. I could smell the warm blood, the sweet taste I longed to have running down my throat. My fingers tingled as my throat burned, a natural sign of hunger. I felt instinct take over, which turned me into a completely different person—a different person who would be hard to control. Someone who seemed to be frozen in a crouching position, low to the ground as she waited for the perfect opportunity to chase helpless prey. My eyes widened and became even clearer.
I stopped breathing, knowing that even the smallest sound could give me away. Suddenly, the sound of a steady heart beat hit my ears. My mouth started watering as it grew closer, and I waited patiently as the thumping escalated. Finally I saw the source—a doe, sniffing the forest floor for food. Although I wouldn't normally attack a doe due to the fact that she could be a mother, my ravenous hunger convinced me that I did not have time to pick and choose what I ate. I sprang from my hiding spot and quicker than her instinct told her to run, snapped her neck. I drank her sweet blood quickly, still craving more. After repeating this process with a few rabbits, I was as full as I would ever be by solely relying on animals to sustain myself. I looked down at my shirt—the few tiny spots of blood proved my improvement. Even after three years of practice, I was nowhere near as perfect as Edward and his family at hunting cleanly.
I ran back to the cottage at full speed to change my clothes. As I entered the house, I almost sped right past Alice, who was standing near the doorway holding clothes; a dress and a pair of high heels.
An automatic groan rang through my throat. "No way. No way, I am not wearing that," I said firmly.
"Come on, Bella! What's the point of having a mall for a closet if all you wear are tee-shirts and jeans?"
She extended the clothes out to me, which I immediately pushed back toward her with a scowl. "Because Edward and I are taking our application tests for Dartmouth today, and I'm not doing it in a dress and heels."
"But you'll look amazing in this. Trust me…" she said with pleading eyes which, like Renesmee's, were hard to resist.
"Fine," I snapped, snatching the clothes from her hands to take them to my room. I didn't have to turn around to know that Alice was smiling from head to toe.
I quickly pulled the dress over my shoulders and gasped aloud as I stared at my reflection in the mirror; I actually loved it. Alice had picked out a short, casual red dress and matching heels that complimented me well. I did a small twirl, admiring myself in the mirror, something I had probably done three times in my entire life.
"Told you so!" Alice called from the other room.
"Fine, you win. This looks really good," I admitted, beaming at my reflection.
After I was done, I stepped out of my room and almost ran into Edward, who was coming down the hall. I smiled shyly at him and looked down at my outfit, unsure of how he would react.
It was silent for a moment as his eyes analyzed every inch of me. I gave him a questioning look, wondering why it was taking him so long to answer. I suddenly felt embarrassed, regretting my decision—apparently I was not meant to wear things such as this. I shifted uncomfortably, wishing he would break the silence. "Wow," he finally said, but he barely got the word out due to the fact that he had not taken a breath. "Wow," he repeated.
I couldn't help but beam at his reaction. "It was Alice's idea," I explained.
"Thank you, Alice," he mumbled, placing a gentle hand on the small of my back.
Alice's sharp ears had apparently heard what he'd said. "You're welcome Edward! See, Bella, Edward likes when you dress like that!"
Edward chuckled as he kissed my hands, neck, and cheeks, stopping before he got to my lips. "You look absolutely stunning, my love," he whispered, right before he pressed his mouth to mine.
The giggling of my little girl hit my ears as she entered the room, and I looked up from my entrancement with my husband to give her a smile. It was then that I noticed the new outfit she was wearing.
"Renesmee, where did you get those clothes?"
"From me!" Alice exclaimed, appearing around the corner. "Nessie took the outfit I gave her without complaining. And look how absolutely adorable she looks!"
My daughter spun around gracefully, showing off her new dress, which was pale pink with soft white stripes. I had to admit, Alice was very talented and somehow made Renesmee even more stunning.
"You look wonderful, honey," I told my daughter. Then, I turned to my sister-in-law, who was gawking over her niece's new clothes. "Alice, you're turning my baby into a fashion zombie like you."
"A mini Alice," Edward groaned. "Just what the world needs."
Renesmee immediately ran to her aunt's side with a beaming smile. "I love being like Aunt Alice," she defended loyally.
Alice laughed, kissing the top of Renesmee's head. "Good girl. Don't listen to them. They have absolutely no fashion sense." She then turned back to Edward and me, her eyes dancing. "So, I hear that Nessie is spending the day with Charlie and Sue."
"Yes. They're taking her to the movies." I looked toward Edward, who was still looking at my outfit with a boyish grin apparently permanently plastered on his face. "Speaking of which," I said sternly, wishing he would stop. "We'd better get going. I told him that it would only be a few minutes."
"Oh!" Alice suddenly exclaimed. "I have to go too; I promised Jasper I would go hunting with him." She kissed each of us on the cheek and then preformed her dance-like walk out of the house.
When we looked down at Renesmee, we were met with another pair of efficacious brown eyes. "Can we go now, please?"
Edward laughed. "Oh, I don't know. I think we should stay a few more minutes and clean the house. We could wash the windows, sweep the floor…" His topaz eyes sparkled at his daughter.
"Dad!" our daughter giggled.
He smiled, taking each of our hands as we walked to the car. We arrived at Charlie's house only a few minutes later, due to Edward's usual speeding. As soon as the car stopped, Renesmee skipped joyfully to the door. Edward quickly walked to my side of the car to open my door, something he had done since the first time he drove me. I kissed him gently before we made our way into the house.
Renesmee was already inside, pestering Charlie about what they were going to do that day. He was shaking his head, telling her that she was simply going to have to find out when they got there.
"Hey, Dad. Hey, Sue," I said to them as I walked through the door.
"Hello, Charlie. Sue," Edward greeted.
"Hi, you two!" Sue said excitedly, rising to hug us both.
Charlie smiled. "Your daughter was just bothering me about my plans. But it's a surprise." He began tickling her, causing her to roll on the couch, shrieking with laughter that echoed off the walls and caused everyone to grin.
"Be good," Edward told our giggling daughter, kissing the top of her head with his cold lips.
Renesmee looked up at her father and nodded.
"We love you," I said, also kissing her.
"Love you too."
The second we had settled into the car, Edward leaned over and kissed me. As he pulled away, I watched as his golden eyes danced with the excitement of the act. "We have a great daughter."
"Of course we do. The perfect couple needs the perfect daughter." Suddenly, I had a thought; I looked at him curiously.
"What?" he asked with a grin.
"I know what we can do today. How much time do we have before our tests?"
His questioning eyes looked into mine before he turned to the clock. "About two hours."
"Perfect."
He tilted his head, his eyes now dancing the way they did only when he was excited. "What are you planning?"
"You'll see. Let me drive." I ran around his new, shiny black Volvo as he reluctantly climbed into the passenger's seat.
"Where are we going?" he demanded with a laugh.
I pursed my lips, indicating that I was not going to tell him. He lay back in his seat as he sighed with frustration. In order to cause him to relax, I took his left hand and lovingly kissed the top of his gold wedding band.
"If only I could read your mind…" His playful grin was enticing—I suddenly became extremely pleased with myself for finally taking him where we were about to go.
"These are the times that I'm grateful I'm a shield," I told him with a teasing smile.
"You're grateful that you're a shield all the time," he corrected dully.
I laughed. "Do you blame me? I mean, do you realize how frustrating it is to everyone else that they can never keep a secret from you?"
The ride lasted for about forty-five minutes, until we arrived at a large wooded area. I glanced over toward Edward; the curious expression that was still plastered on his face told me that he remained clueless. The second the car stopped, he was out the door and at the driver's side to help me out with a loving hand. I smiled at his chivalry, something that was prevalent even while he was annoyed.
A frown formed on his face as he took a step forward, taking in his surroundings with darting eyes. "Where are we?"
"You'll see. Let's run." I grabbed his hand, and we took off down the sinuous path before us. The feeling of ecstasy that running produced still amazed me. I felt solid, as if nothing could hurt me. While each second of continuous motion should have brought weakness, it only made me stronger. I felt endurance flood through me, filling the veins I theoretically did not have. Edward's soft, perfect breath sounded with every step we took. I glanced over at him as he raised his eyebrow, still attempting to figure out where we were going.
Finally, we reached the spot. After we both stopped, I walked up behind him, wrapping both of my hands around his perfect eyes. I could feel his smile.
"Now Edward, Alice found this a few days ago. She's been trying really hard not to think about it around you…"
"Again? I didn't even notice this time," he groaned.
"She wanted me to be the one to show it to you. Are you ready?"
"Yes," he replied impatiently.
"Are you sure?"
He gently pulled my hands away from his eyes and looked around, trying to spot what I wanted to show him. He froze when he finally noticed it; a small, aged tombstone with the words 'Edward Anthony Mason II, 1836-1874,' engraved on the weathered front.
"I'm assuming he's your grandfather." I took in the appearance of his face—it was perfectly emotionless, almost dead-looking. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea; I had pictured him picking me up and swinging me around, giving me a passionate kiss before thanking me with sincere gratitude. I had pictured him explaining that he had been looking for the memorial for ages, and thanks to Alice and me, he could finally see it.
After studying his blank expression further, I began to feel extremely guilty—of course he would get upset; it was his damn grandfather's grave. I supposed that since Alice was so excited about showing him, I hadn't thought about how the sight would affect him.
"Edward, I…" I started, but stopped when he held out a steady marble hand.
He solemnly walked forward and fell on his knees in front of the grave. For an agonizing three minutes, he remained motionless, staring at it with such intensity, it appeared as if he was expecting his grandfather to rise from the dead. I felt awful—why had I done this to him? Why had I brought up an apparently painful or distressing memory? Was I a horrible wife for bringing him here? I knew the answer was yes; I was a horrible wife. He had written me a beautiful poem, and I had brought him to his grandfather's grave.
"Thank you," was all he said, in his ordinary angelic voice. His eyes were still affixed on the grave.
I stayed silent, knowing that he was not grateful toward me. He must have been thanking his deceased grandfather for something—there was no way he was thanking me for causing him this much pain. His sweet voice interrupted my thoughts once again.
"Bella, did you hear me? I said thank you."
"Edward, I am so sorry. I didn't know it would make you this upset," I whispered ruefully.
Perfect eyes filled with pain and sorrow tore my heart apart as he turned around.
"No," he said firmly. And then, before I knew it, I was being held close in comforting arms that I did not deserve. "Thank you. I've been wanting to search for this. I knew it was around here, but I was never brave enough to look."
"Oh," I whispered, weakly, almost wishing that it was me in the grave instead of his grandfather. I couldn't believe that I had done this to him. I couldn't believe that I had made him this upset. My heart longed for him to express how angry he was with me instead of trying to make me feel better.
His once expressionless mouth suddenly turned into a frown. He stepped closer to me, staring deep into my eyes. "You don't believe me."
I glanced away, willing but unable to look at his pain. "You're upset; I understand that. You don't have to try to make me feel better. I shouldn't have brought you here. I'm so sorry, Edward."
I felt his flawless hands graze my cheek, gently pulling my face up to look at his. His expression had changed—his eyes were happy again, full of joy. "Don't say that, Bella. I truly mean it. Thank you for showing me this. I love you."
"I love you too," I whispered, barley able to choke out the words. I apparently didn't love him as much as he loved me—he forgave me so easily after what I had done.
As I was kissed with passion, sadness filled me—although he had somehow gotten rid of the pain in his eyes, I could taste it in his kiss. Sorrow, pain, and regret.
He pulled me closer, and I clung to him tightly in a silent promise: as long as I lived, I would never, ever hurt him again. No matter how small, how insignificant, I would never again be the cause of the pained expression that I had witnessed only moments before on my beloved husband's face.
