Oriyou Gets Help
Oriyou pushed a package of money towards the silver-haired samurai.
"Please, just get him to leave me alone," Oriyou said quietly, in an exasperated voice, "I know he's your friend, but I would really like it if he didn't constantly ask for my hand in marriage."
"Ahhh, Gin-san, this our first job in months!" Shinpachi exclaimed breathlessly, thinking he might actually get a paycheck this month. "You can't turn this one down!"
Gin-san leaned back in thought. After a few minutes of strained silence, he took in a deep breath and said simply:
"Stalkers aren't my thing."
Shinpachi and Kagura's jaws dropped.
"But Gin-chan! You've dealt with stalkers before!" protested a pouting Kagura, not wanting to seem rude and mention the money.
Gin-san sighed, "Neee…I have, but it's never been successful. There's no way I can help this case. Sorry, Oriyou-san."
Oriyou opened her mouth to say something, but was suddenly interrupted by a shrill "ORIYOU-CHAAAAN! Hahahaha I know you're in there! Come out and marry meeeeee!"
The proposal cry was followed by the rapid clunking of footsteps up the Yorozuya stairs.
Kagura was the first to act. She grabbed Oriyou's arm and pulled her into a piggy back, like Edward had done to Bella. Shinpachi, who had caught onto the Yato's immediate reaction, quickly ran to the side window and slid it open for Kagura to leap out of; something the Yorozuya threesome had done numerous times to avoid paying the rent.
Kagura landed soundly onto the ground below. Sadaharu, who was also familiar with the routine, came rushing around the corner to knock the girls onto his snow-white back. He zipped through the bustling Kabuki-chou crowds and took them to a safer place to stay: the Shimura dojo.
Meanwhile, Sakamoto had entered the Yorozuya, crashing through the door with arms open and smile flashing; another proposal cry escaping his throat.
Unfortunately, his enthusiastic entrance was short-lived. Gin-san's iron fist collided with Sakamoto's grinning face, causing Sakamoto to fall to the ground.
"You…" Gin-san started, eyes wide with murder, "that…was the last door I could afford to break. You…the old hag will…you…"
"Gin-san!" cried Shinpachi as he held back the suddenly blood-thirsty samurai from Sakamoto-san.
"Hahahahahaha…Kintoki, you are so funny! Hahahaha, I'll have Mutsu pay for this; don't you worry!" Sakamoto laughed, "Now, where's my Ori-chan? Oriyou-chan, my lovely wife-to-be! Where are you? Hahaha, are you playing a game of hide-and-seek with me? Hahaha!"
Gintoki, who was now calm, knowing that the door would be taken care of, flopped down onto the nearby sofa.
"It's Gintoki, and she's not here. Tch…so much for your stupid entrance. You should pay for interruption of privacy as well as the door. You hear me? Go and die," Gin-san said.
"Oh? Hahahaha, I must be hallucinating about her. Good bye, Kintoki. Hahahaha," replied Sakamoto as he stood up, brushed himself off, and stepped out of the Yorozuya, leaving the two freelancers to themselves and a broken door.
"Ah? Kagura-chan? Oriyou-chan? What are you doing here?"
"Anego, Ori-chan's crazy stalker is after her again! Can we stay here? Please?" asked Kagura, who was standing between Sadaharu and Oriyou.
"Of course!" replied Tae as she let them in, distracted by Kondo-san, who was making himself VERY obvious by wearing a lame leaf crown around his head and trying disguise himself as a tree of some sort.
"OTAE-SAAAAAN! PLEASE GO ON A DATE WITH MEEE!" burst Kondo-san, noticing that Tae had noticed him.
"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU LEAVE ME ALOOOONE!" shrieked an absolutely FURIOUS Otae-san. She threw her leg up, straight into his hairy jewels that he had exposed so, so many times. He dropped to the ground like a stone in water and rolled back and forth holding that 'area' while tears sprang to his eyes (not from emotion, though…).
"Anego, shall I throw him over the wall? Shall I? May I?" piped Kagura, a sadistic smile similar to Prince of Sadists' spreading across her previously-oh-so-innocent face.
"Good idea, Kagura-chan. You may. Kick him with all your female strength. We don't have to be men to be strong, isn't that right, Oriyou-chan?" smiled Otae-san.
Oriyou let out a nervous laugh. "You're right, Otae-san, as usual, but these stalkers from Edo don't give up so easily after a thorough beating. Just look at Sakamto-san and Kondo-san!"
A thoughtful look replaced Otae-san's evil smile. "I've thought of that before, but there never seems to be another solution. Well, not a solution I can think of and carry out," Otae-san replied, turning towards Kagura, "And whooping their asses is a lot easier."
Kagura had thrown Kondo-san into the air. She was now beating him repeatedly with her indestructible umbrella.
"Hohoho, shall I leave your face unscathed? Or would it be better to ruin your whole Gori-body?" Kagura chuckled evilly. She whacked him up into the creamy blue sky and backed up a bit. As he fell downwards, Kagura began running towards him at a dangerous speed. She gave a game-winning soccer kick to the already battered Gorilla.
His large mass gave him enough momentum to fly over the dojo wall and over quite a few other neighbouring buildings. In the distance, a loud crash and panned "Ah? Kondo-san?" rang through the air. Kagura let out a wicked laugh.
Oriyou's eyes bugged out at the small girl's strength. Letting out another nervous laugh, she said quietly, "Kagura-chan? I think you may have over done it. Just a tad bit."
"Ah? Kondo-san?"
Sougo squatted down to meet his commander's closed black eye. "Is something wrong?"
Hijikata strolled up beside Sougo and scoffed, "They say there are no stupid questions, only stupid people, but in your case, I suppose it's both."
The Demon Vice-commander put an arm around Kondo-san, who was lying unconscious on the dirt road, and pulled him up. With his spare hand, he flipped open his cell phone to call for a patrol car to pick them up.
"Ahhh…Hijikata-san, it's not nice to call people stupid," Sougo said, holding up his bazooka.
Hijikata, knowing what would happen from previous experiences, immediately ducked for his and Kondo-san's safety.
"Tch…missed again…" muttered Sougo as soon as the dust cleared, revealing a still very-much-alive Hijikata and Kondo-san.
"Tch…my ass!" mocked Hijikata, who, surprisingly, still had his cigarette between his lips.
Luckily, a patrol car pulled up. Hijikata unloaded Kondo-san into the back seat of the car and got into the passenger seat while Sougo climbed in the back beside the unmoving Gorilla.
Sougo inspected the overall bruising of Kondo-san while the Shinsengumi members drove towards HQ. He noticed that the purple and black areas were much more severe than a normal beating from that crazy monster, Otae-san. In fact, a lot of Kondo-san's bones appeared broken or fractured.
"Sougo, what are you doing to Kondo-san? Finally 'coming out of the closet'?" smirked Hijikata-san from the front seat. The driver, a lower-classed Shinsengumi member, let out a strained chuckle, afraid of laughing too hard and suffering Okita's wrath later on.
"Ah, only Hijikata-san would think of such a perverted thing. Finally showing your lack of compassion towards brotherhood?" retorted Sougo. Again, the driver let out a muffled giggle.
"Why, you…!"
Hijikata stood up in his seat and swung his sword at Sougo, who easily dodged all the weak attempts.
"Vice-commander! Please sit down!" cried the driver while saying silent prayers in his head.
"You damn brat! I'll have your head one day, I swear on it!"
The doctor bandaged the last of Kondo-san's broken bones.
"He'll be fine," he assured, turning to Hijikata and Sougo, "When he wakes, feed him, but don't let him move for at least a week. Then I'll give him another check up and change his bandages."
"Anything serious this time?" asked Hijikata.
"Whoever did this to him seems to have superhuman strength," the doctor started, "but it doesn't seem like it's Otae-san, like before. She usually leaves bruises that aren't this deep. It could be a criminal. Be careful, boys."
"Hmph" was their reply.
Fanks fer der R&Rs so far :D
