Wrote this without reading it over. Please tell me if there are any grammar mistakes/errors in the story.
The clay bird made a swift movement of its wings before smoothly landing onto the ground. Deidara jumped off and headed for the base, while poor Tobi trailed along behind him trying to catch up. Obviously, the blonde haired shinobi was trying to ditch the annoying ninja he had to call 'partner.'
As Sakura had guessed, they had moved their hideout. Where? Inside a hidden sandstorm in Suna, duh. It was the perfect location. Convenient, calm, and heck, they had all the privacy they wanted.
Deidara took off his head gear and stuffed them into his pocket. He looked back to check on Tobi and see if he had catched up. "Senpai, wait for me pleaseee... " could be heard in the distance. Sigh. He really was hopeless. "Tobi, catch up or I'm leaving you behind, yeah!" Deidara annoyedly shouted above the winds.
Unexpectedly, Tobi appeared right beside him, exhausted and short of breath. "Se-Senpai... Why... did we even move here?" And with that, the masked man fell with a thud. Deidara slapped his palm to his forehead to keep down his frustration.
"So that nobody can find us." He shook his head. "You better get up before I leave you again."
"Why... are we in such a hurry." Tobi panted, sand stuck in his throat (if that was even possible behind his giant mask?).
Not caring anymore, Deidara began walking towards the Akatsuki hideout. "We have to report Leader about our find."
"You mean, those Hyuugas? The ones sleeping in those tents?"
"Yeah, the ones sleeping in those tents."
Tobi got up. "Eh? But didn't they leave already?" He rubbed a sore spot on his eye (hole). "Yeah, I think they did. When I looked back, I saw them running off... "
"WHAT!?" the blonde S-class criminal choked poor Tobi madly. "Why didn't you tell me they left, un!?"
"Y-You told me not to talk to you during the trip back Senpai!" Tobi shouted, clutching his dizzy and aching head.
"I told you not to ask me 'are we there yet?!' I never told you to not talk!"
"...Then I held my breath for nothing," Tobi mumbled, turning his head grumpily away.
Trying very hard to calm himself down, Deidara forced himself to (in Tobi's terms) 'politely' ask, "Do you... remember... which way they headed off to?" The way he held his temper in while twitching his face with fury didn't convince Tobi that he was calm one bit. In fact, this would want to make a monkey drop its bananas and run for its dear life, which was exactly what Tobi wanted to right now. Too bad he didn't have the bananas.
Then he realized something important.
"Hey! You didn't end your sentence in 'yeah!'" Tobi clapped his hands gleefully, not trying to purposely avoid the subject.
"That's. Not. What. I'm asking you! YEAH!" the blonde yelled, returning to his choke-Tobi-till-he-drops-dead mode.
Then he abruptly stopped, and gave one last scowl before running back to his clay bird. "Come now Tobi," Deidara said as he jumped onto his vessel. "I'll think about your punishment later. For now, we just need to inform Leader that we've found Hyuugas, yeah." Just as he led his contraption towards the base, the masked member questioned once again. Oh, why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut today Tobi?
"Hey, didn't Leader say he was going grocery shopping with Konan today?" Tobi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, I think he did!"
...The art lover cleared his throat. Uh oh, that didn't sound good for Tobi. "Ahem. So... you've made me use my chakra to fly over 20,000 miles... FOR NOTHING!?!?"
"...Maybe?"
Boyyy, did he regret that.
"Are you sure they were Akatsuki members?" Neji questioned yet again, while jumping from tree to tree.
"I'm definitely sure!" Sakura answered back. "You can't mistake those cloaks anywhere! One had a blonde ponytail, and the other had an orange mask... "
"But then, why are we running away? Shouldn't we be going after them?" Tenten said, looking at Sakura.
"They're the ones who've spotted us first, so they could easily lure us into a trap Tenten," Shikamaru explained.
"And if they saw our headbands," Sakura added. "they would definitely know that Konoha is going after them."
"But why is that?" again, Tenten asked.
"Tsuna- I mean Shizune told us that we're the only Konoha ninjas in these areas," Sakura said. "These forests are off-limits to everyone in Konoha until we're through with our mission. Which was why Neji told us to keep guard while we were asleep; in case anyone suspicious came through the forests while we aren't looking. Right, Neji?"
Neji nodded at this.
"Once they lose our trail completely, we go after them, right?" Shikamaru guessed.
"That's right."
A few minutes later, Hinata spoke up. "I don't see them anywhere near." She looked around, her Byakugan still on. Everyone stopped in their tracks.
"I'm going to ask AGAIN Tobi: are you POSITIVE you don't need to use the little men's room, yeah?"
"Sure I'm sure! Now come on Senpai, summon your birdie already!"
Nodding, Deidara performed two hand seals and the small bird that fell out of his sleeve exploded into another clay bird, almost a hundred times its size. "Let's go, un."
The bird took off.
They hadn't even travelled for even five minutes before Tobi ruined the silence. Why Tobi, why.
"E-Erm, Deidara-senpai? I... uh, you know," he pointed between his thighs awkwardly. Deidara dared not look there.
"Wait for a few more minutes, un."
Tobi responded to this by shaking more nervously. "This is very bad; very, very bad... "
"Tobi, our mission is an emergency, yeah."
Tobi grabbed him by the collar instantly and yelled, "No! This is an emergency!" He didn't know where he was pointing anymore, so he started flailing randomly at the sky instead to emphasize his predicament. "I really really have to- " Silence fell.
Annoyed that he's suddenly ignoring him, Deidara began, "Well? Aren't you going to yell at me some more, yeah?"
The masked man took a quiet seat down his spot, and gave his partner a sheepish grin under his mask. "Hehe... I'm done!" Tobi exclaimed, giving a yes! thumbs up to his partner, who was looking very sane/shocked/suspcious at the moment.
"...Tell me you didn't do what I thought you just did... yeah..."
"Ugh, we lost them. That's just great," Shikamaru began with an annoyed expression.
Hinata pointed at the ground, directing at the clay mark trails that seemed to move opposite of them.
"Oh, that's right!" Sakura realized as she saw what Hinata was trying to point out. "Their blonde member - Deidara I think? - was a clay molder! The bird he was riding on must definitely be made out of clay!"
Hinata nodded agreeingly. "So if we follow this trail, it'll lead us right to them."
"Then what are we waiting for?!" Tenten exclaimed excitedly. "Let's get to them before they realize what hit em!"
"Hello? Anyone?" Kisame poked at the little headphone, not exactly sure of how it worked. He cleared his tight throat. "Status: in trouble. A man is flirting with Itachi-san!" he stated nervously, glancing at his distressed partner. Oh why, why did Itachi have to use Oiroke no Jutsu? IN A DRESS may I add?
"Then what the fuck are you fucking standing there for?! Get your ass in there and beat the motha-" Hidan's voice got cut off abruptly, leaving the sharkman even more flustered than he was before. He looked back at his partner, whose eyes seemed to glow with murder right now. He never does that... unless he was about to kill... No... we can't get caught... !
"Hey baby," the drunk man droned. "How'd you like to-" POW! Kisame had knocked him unconscious with one nimble move.
The place was so crowded, no one even bothered to look at the knocked out man - who laid drooling drunkenly on the floor, may I add.
"Itachi-san," the fishy man whispered worriedly. "Are you okay?"
Something was gleaming in the corner Itachi's eyes. That's not right. Itachi-san never has that look unless he wants to-
Before he could continue, the dark haired woman' coiled her hands around Kisame's neck, choking him madly.
"W-W-What are you doing!?" Kisame managed to choke out, frantically trying to unlock Itachi's tight fists that just wouldn't budge.
"Why. Didn't. You. Save me when that perverted bastard was here!?"
"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Forgive meee!"
From far away, all you could see was a young couple aguing in their early relationship.
And that's just what the people of Ichiraku Ramen thought.
"This is useless," Shikamaru began with disinterest, pausing in his run. "For all we know, the clay trail could've been the dirt we're walking on." He kicked the leaves below him, making a dull, crackling noise.
Sakura stopped after. "He's right you guys. We might've been wasting our time for nothing."
Neji and Tenten began to agree with this decision, except...
"No."
Everyone turned their attention towards a certain Hyuuga girl. "No," she repated again. "It's definitely this way."
"How are you so sure Hinata?" the shadow master asked.
"T-Trust me."
Hinata-sama... what are you doing? Neji stared at her. He didn't recognize her anymore.
Everyone exchanged doubting looks. Hinata began to notice this. "I've sent little parts of my chakra underground with strings attached to them," she explained. "The strings attached themselves to the clay trail we're walking on right now."
Shikamaru tried to hide his curiosity while he questioned again. "How can you be so sure it's this trail?"
"Because my chakra slips easily through dirt cracks, but when clay hardens, there's no cracks in them," she plainly explained.
This time, they trusted her. Giving her a big smile, Sakura exclaimed. "Well, what are we waiting for? Konoha is waiting!"
"Ew!" Startled, everyone turned to Tenten. "Why does this part smell like urine?"
"Uh huh, go on, go on." the fishy man in disguise said professionally, writing this all down on a notepad. "Is there anything else you'd like to add before our interview ends?"
"And he made a hole this big in my wall!" the ramen shop owner exclaimed angrily. Itachi's eyes twitched. We came here to get information about Naruto-kun, and instead that freaking Kisame is giving therapy to this guy!
"So how does this make you feel?"
"I explained to that boy over and over again, but he just doesn't understand!"
"I know just how you feel! A few weeks before, my partner and I-"
"I think it's time we got going." Itachi grabbed his fishy Dr. Phil partner by his collar and dragged him out of the shop. "It was nice meeting you."
"My pleasure! Come again anytime!" the owner happily said to the departing 'couple.' "Wow, they were sure nice."
"Information retrieved. Mission: completed."
"What the fuck took you guys so fucking long!" the rude voice yelled through the earphones.
"A certain somebody decided to play Dr. Phil with the target," Itachi agitatedly said, still holding Kisame firmly by the collar in his Sexy Jutsu form.
Hidan's voice cackled. "Anyway, you're supposed to come back to the lair now. Leader is wants to look through your info and see if you have any good finds on that Naruto kid."
There was a beep and their line was cut off. A poofing noise was heard and Uchiha Itachi transformed back to his irritable, manly self.
He looked better as a woman, instantly came into mind.
Veins were popping with each scrub Tobi made on the cantankerous clay bird. "And we're not leaving until you get every last bit of pee off my bird, un!"
The masked man sighed, finally learning that it was better not to say anything back to a person when they're in a crabby mood.
This also applies to gigantic clay birds.
Mm, I think Mr. Itachi-san as a woman is way cuter. ;D My opinion.
Okay, so I rushed with this chapter on a Wednesday morning. I couldn't finish it because I would miss my bus - but it turned out I was ten minutes early, grr. But it was too late to run back to my computer.
Deidara and Hinata don't meet until the next chapter, so please be patient. :O
And thank you to KraZiieTarT for reviewing. ;) Made my day, haha. If only they had Mr. Itachi-san in a dress in the anime... :( Then we would all be happy.
