A/N: I was really anxious about posting this that's why it took me really long. And somehow I feel like it's even good yet so, your opinions later would mean a lot. ;) I hope I don't disappoint. Here it is... *hides in a corner*


My whole heart

Will be yours forever
This is a beautiful start
To a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose
You

-I Choose You, Sara Bareilles


Castle is almost literally dragging his feet when he reached home. It's been three hours since he left Kate on that hotel room.

He just wanted a walk to clear his mind up. He didn't think it helped though. He's exhausted from the lack of sleep and with all that happened to him and Kate.

He was just about to sit on the couch when he heard a soft thump and mumbled "crap" from inside his office.

"Mother?" he called out.

There was no answer.

He made his way into the room. He was almost to the door when he accidentally bumped into something.

Someone.

He was about to ask his mother what she was doing in his office when he realized that instead of red, a familiar wave of brown curls met his eyes.

"Oh, sorry, Castle." She murmured under her breath, looking down to avoid his eyes.

"K-Kate?" He stammers. "What are you doing here?"

She kept her eyes locked on the floor. "Umm, your mom let me in. She's already out though. Said something about a friend. She said I could stay and wait for you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No." He cuts her off. "It's okay. I mean...Aren't you supposed to be in your wedding?"

She just shakes her head.

"Kate, look at me." He coaxes. And when she didn't make any movement to look at him, he held out a finger to tilt her chin up.

She finally looks at him and when she did, he immediately wished she didn't. There he saw all the pain and confusion and a lot more different emotions he can't quite figure out.

She's almost teary eyed and it pains him to see her like this. He badly wants-needs - to help her sort those emotions out. Help make her feel better.

Even if it pains him, he is still her friend and no matter what, he loves her and he cares for her. He's always going to have her back.

"Kate, talk to me." He asks almost pleadingly. His tone must have gotten to her because finally she started speaking.

"You said... earlier..." she starts tentatively, unsure of how to voice out the thoughts that has been swirling around her mind. "before you left... You said you love me."

A flash of panic immediately crossed his features. "Oh, my God, Kate. Please tell me it's not the reason why you're not in your wedding. I never intended to-"

"No," she cuts off shaking her head. And it made him feel a little better that he's not the reason a wedding was cancelled.

He waited her out, sensed that there's something she wants to say. He remained silent as Kate takes a deep breath as if gathering up some courage.

"Whatever you said earlier didn't do anything to stop the wedding because," She paused and took another deep breath. "there wasn't a wedding in the first place."

Rick felt like all air has been knocked off his lungs. He suddenly can't breathe.

"W-what are you talking about?" He chokes out.

Kate sighed. "I was never engaged to Josh."

Rick took a few steps back. Effectively putting up space between the two of them.

"You made that up?" He growled.

Kate flinched at the sound of his voice. The anger, she anticipated, but not the tone of raw pain and disappointment.

"Answer me, Kate! Did you or did you not?"

Kate suddenly found it hard to speak. All her reasons before going to his loft now seemed pointless as she regrets her decision.

But she's already there, there's no going back. She's gonna have to answer his question.

"I did." She murmurs almost inaudibly.

Castle didn't seem contented though. His rage is clouding his rationality so he pushed.

"What was that?"

"I did, Castle!" Kate replies almost yelling. "I lied, okay? I was never engaged to Josh. Happy now?"

"Why?"

Kate blinked. It was the question she had always dreaded. She shook her head.

"I don't know."

"YOU don't know? Kate, you decided it would be fine to make me believe you are going to get married." His voice is rough with emotion. It didn't stop him though.

"Do you know how much it pained me to sleep with you almost every night knowing I can't have you? Knowing you belong to another man and you can never be with me. You used me, Kate. And for what? You don't know? Now you're gonna tell me you didn't actually love me and what you said in the hotel was a lie?"

Kate shook her head. Her tears are continuously flowing down her cheeks but she didn't make any move to wipe them down.

"Castle, no. Please, listen."

He chuckled hollowly. "Listen, Kate? What more lies do you have in store for me?"

"The only thing I lied to you about is about the wedding, Castle! Don't make this sound like it's what I have been doing to you ever since we met."

"Isn't it, though?"

Kate's tears had turned to rage. He clearly doesn't want to do this the easy way. She's gonna have to fight fire with fire. If this is gonna be the end of them, at least she made a reasonable argument.

"No." she replies in a raised voice. "I love you, Castle, and you know that. I know you felt it too, if the nights we spent together are any indication. I may not be honest and open with what I'm feeling but I love you. And don't play with me and act like this all my fault."

"Excuse me? How is this my fault?"

"Well, I'm not the only who failed at communication." she retorts back.

"You know how I felt, Kate. From the start, you knew it."

"Did you tell me?"

He was silent.

"See? How am I supposed to know? We may have worked together for quite a while but I am no mind reader, Rick. I wouldn't know unless you tell me."

Kate takes a deep breath and tries to calm herself before continuing.

"I'm sorry that I lied." she says softly.

Rick must have also composed himself because he just sighed and weaved his fingers through is hair.

"Why did you do it?" His voice was low and soft. Painful.

"I- I... guess I was scared."

Rick was about to say something but stopped himself. He needs to listen. She said it herself. They both failed at communication and so listening to her explanation would probably be a good start.

"The day after the first time we slept together, Josh asked me out. He took me to this restaurant we always go to together. I had no idea about it until he knelt down in front of me and proposed. I didn't know what to do. He is asking me to marry him and I just slept with someone else."

"Did you say yes?" He asks in almost a whisper.

Kate shook her head. "I knew right then that I was in love with you. It was when we broke up."

Rick stayed silent so she continued.

"I lied to you because I thought that after the date of the wedding, you're gonna leave. I loved you since then, Rick, but you made me feel like it was all just sex. And if I make myself vulnerable, I will get hurt. You're Richard Castle. You can have any woman you have. You wouldn't want to settle to a broken and complicated woman like me. So, while we had time, I made the most of it. If it's all I can get from you, I'll have to deal with it. I love you that much."

"But you didn't want me to leave." He asks. "What changed your mind?"

"I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you again."

Rick took steps forward raising a hand to cup to cup her cheek.

"You thought it all wrong." He says wiping her tears with his thumb.

She nodded. "I know that now."

Rick reached out his other hand to pull her in for a hug. Kate immediately complied and wrapped her arms around his waist. She rested her head on his chest while he pressed his lips on her temple.

"You should've told me then." he whispered.

"I'm sorry."

Kate buried her had deeper into his warmth.

"How could we have messed this up so much?" She asks, inhaling his scent.

He chuckled. Kate could feel his chest vibrating against her. It made her feel safe, comfortable.

"Promise me one thing." He says.

"Anything."

"From now on we tell each other everything."

She nodded and he kissed her hair.

"What now?" She asks.

Rick paused for a while.

"Marry me." He says.

Kate pulled away from their hug with stepping back. She stared at him with wide eyes and slightly gaping mouth. He just smiled at her.

"A-are you sure? I mean we just-"

She was silenced with his mouth on hers. Soft and tentative. She stilled for a moment before finally opening up to him and started kissing him back.

When they pulled away, he was grinning.

"We have waited long enough, don't you think?" He asks.

She couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay." She answers softly.

He gripped her shoulders and held her at arm's length.

"You mean, you're agreeing?" He asks excitedly. His eyes almost twinkling with mirth.

"Yes!" She replies more loudly with a laugh.

He pulled her again or a kiss. This time a lot more different than the one they shared earlier. It's less softer and more determined. Passionate.

She sighed against his lips as his tongue reached out to explore her mouth. She felt a lot better.

She felt at home.