I Lost My Powers (Continued) Chapter 2

2. Realization (Holy…)

A moment of panic grips me. A dark cold fear wraps around my beat-less heart and squeezes mercilessly. And terror twists inside my gut, dancing maliciously. I lose myself in Bella's worried eyes as she gazes back at me. I reach out to the spot next to me – desperate to find some inkling of a thought running through Alice's head. But nay. Not even an image of the future crosses into me. By this time Carlisle has come down from his study to see what is wrong. One look at my face tells him the whole story.

"Why don't you sit down, Edward, and we'll talk this out together." He says calmly. That was the one thing I envied about him. His control. I could exist for eternity and still not have as much control as him. Bella guides me to the couch as I did not look like I was going to move. I barely feel her soft, warm hands gripping my arms. The four of us sit down as Esme walks into the room and joins Carlisle by his side, glancing around the room curiously.

"There is a common belief that a lack of use of exceptional abilities can lead to the dimming of skill and then eventually the disappearance of said ability. However, never in my 600 years have I seen such a case. There have been very few cases and the ones that I have heard about I believed to be stretched beyond any possible recognition of the truth."

"So, you think that Edward's special ability has dimmed?" Esme inquires.

"Edward, I would like you to search for Jessica's or Mike's mind. You always complained at how loud their thoughts were. This should be fairly easy for you," Carlisle says, as ever, calmly. I cast out my consciousness, searching for snide voice of Jessica, the jealous rage of Mike. I let my mind flow free but my search was cut short as I found myself hit some sort of strong wall that I could not break through. Oh no, I thought, have Jessica and Mike somehow obtained Bella's strange shield to my skill? But no, I realized. I was limited by the walls of my own mind. Trapped. Is this how other people felt? I felt trapped. Isolated. Suffocating. My throat tightened as my eyes watered. But tears never came. They never do. Because with my new skills, we also let some go.

Carlisle sensed my alarm and said, "I'm sorry, Edward. But I'm afraid that because you did not use for skill for so long, it faded. The curious part is that it should have taken longer to fade, especially because you talent was so extensive and honed to almost a sixth sense. On the bright side-"

"Bright side???" I snarled. "There is no bright side to this! I'm normal! Boring I feel weak! You wouldn't understand…you've been boring your whole life!"

"Edward! Calm down!" Bella shouts at me. She had stayed silent throughout the whole discussion, as had Alice and Esme, so her sudden outburst almost shocked me. "Who knows, there may be a positive part to this if you just listened!" I reluctantly sat down, a thousand thoughts spinning through my head too quick to even finish one judgment.

"I am sorry for my outburst. It was inexcusable," I say through clenched teeth. "Please continue your evaluation, Carlisle."

"Only if you wish to hear it."

"Yes."

"The optimistic side is that, over time, of course, your talent may return to you. Until then, the only suggestion I have for you is to test the walls of your mind frequently to attempt to penetrate its' limits. I can do nothing else for you." I nodded my thanks and left the room to sulk at the dining table. Bella followed.

I rested my head on the table edge. "I can't believe I lost it," I say quietly.

"Well, you always did complain about not being able to have a quiet mind and knowing the negative things people thought about you." She said soothingly, rubbing a hand in circles across my back. But her attempt at comfort fails.

"But I would rather have the burden than be without it!" I snap at her. Then I relax. She had recoiled at my tone. "I am sorry. My anger was not justified."

"Yes it was."

"No. It wasn't. And I refuse to accept that my talent is gone."

Carlisle POV

"No it wasn't. And I refuse to accept that my talent is gone." I heard Edward's words from my office upstairs. Sometimes my enhanced hearing is a gift.

"Uh-oh," I mutter to myself. Esme speeds to my side. After all these years I am still stunned by how much I love her.

"What's wrong?" She asks worriedly, wringing her hands in the cleaning rag she was carrying. I sigh and put down my pen.

"Edward is going through what some people like to call the 'Five Stages of Grief.'" I confide in her.

"Okay, but he'll get over, right?" I hate how she sounds worried. It makes me want to whisk her away to our little tropical island and tackle all her troubles so her world may be perfect once again. But I could never take her away from our family.

"Eventually, yes." I stand up from my desk, take her hand and guide her over to the window that overlooks the backyard. We see Edward come outside and sit on a bench. Bella appears outside moments after him. "But depression is hard to overcome. It may take years, decades, even. There is no way of predicting.

"The first 'stage' is denial and isolation." And as if on cue, Edward rises from the bench and runs to a tree far from Bella (too fast for her to see, so to her she is there one second and gone the next).

"The second is anger." Esme's eyes widen slightly as we witness Edward uproot a full grown pine tree from the ground and chuck it a mile away. The event took less than two seconds total. Then he beats his head against a neighboring oak. In another situation this might have been funny, but not now. At least to me. To you? I have no idea.

"The third stage is commonly referred to as 'Bargaining.'"

Edward looks skyward and bellows towards the heavens: "I'll never sin again if you give me back my ability!!!" I do not think Bella comprehended it as he said it at vampire speed.

"The fourth stage is depression." Edward commences to wail pitifully into the ground and bang his fist on the ground. It rather reminds me of a five-year-old patient I had once that was having temper tantrum. But that was because he didn't want to have his checkup.

"And the fifth and final stage is acceptance." Edward kneels on the ground and zones out into space.

"Holy shit! I think Edward just experienced the all the stages of grief in five seconds!" I gape.

A/N: Well this is it for now. It's a bit longer than the last one, I think. I hope you like it. I hope it's funny. Unfortunately, I have to change the rating now because of, ehem, swearing. Oops. But I had to in order to make it funny. Please Read and Review! I always reply to them (unless you tell me not to, of course). Sneak peak, next chapter's title is called "Angst." It's probably going to be short, but I hope you think it humorous. It will also begin in Alice's POV, just to warn you in case of confusion. Until next time, remember, Jacob still doesn't sparkle. :]