"You Ladies like to wriggle, don't you?"
Dear Diary – I've fallen hard for this girl…
Sorry haven't written in here for days, kind of had other things to be doing and by things I mean a certain cute red head that's totally got a hold on me. I mean Naomi doesn't need anyone, yeah that's out of the window. Naomi needs Emily. I literally can't be without her. This has been the first night without her since my last entry and I actually miss her, only left her an hour ago. Eeek I really have fallen hard for this girl, big change from my last entry. I mean I still don't know if I'm gay, it could be just an Emily thing not a gay thing but we'll see – at the moment all that matters is me and her and how I've got to make sure I don't break her heart : (
Ok so where did I leave you last? Oh yeah I was gunna go tell her I loved her, well LOVE is easier to write then say but I told her I do want someone, need someone and that when I'm with her I feel happier less alone, less lonely. This was all said through a door and through tears streaming down my face. I felt awful that I had made her cry. That hurt me so much. She told me she wasn't going to open the door because she'd been crying and her eyes were all puffy. Hearing her say that made my heart clench, I think I realised then that I wanted to make her happy not sad. So I sat down and poured out my heart and tears, literally. I wanted a hug so bad; to hold her, feel her, smell her but there was a door between us. To me it was like a barrier and I wanted to break it down, then she did the cutest thing ever that if anyone was watching from across the street they would of thought we were mental. She took hold of my hand through the cat flap. I know right how cute is that, I just held on to her and rested my head on the door and let the tears roll down my face. We sat like that for a while and then I was brave (think that's gunna be my new word from now on instead of scared) and asked if she wanted to stay at mine. I don't know how I could tell but I think that made her smile because she let go of my hand and opened the door. She hugged me and I held her so tight, (you have no idea how good it feels to hug Emily Fitch, it is intoxicating). So she went and grabbed an over night bag and we walked hand in hand back to mine in silence with the occasional smile at each other. We didn't need words we knew exactly how each other was feeling. When we got to mine my mum was up, yeah tell me about it, why wasn't she in bed? LOL anyways mum knows me better than anyone else and just before I went to see Emily she told me a story about how I'd made her really happy and that sometimes the people who make us happy are never the people we expect. When she opened the door and smiled at me I knew exactly who she was referring to when she told me that story, Emily was the person who would make me happy and I think my mum knew that before me. So yeah cringe moment, mum hugged Emily and whispered something in her ear that made Emily smile. Emily looked my way and smiled reminding me that my mum was a nice cliché. Emily wouldn't tell me what my mum told her but something tells me Emily and my mum may have had more then just a hello that morning I left her in my bed and ran off scared to college.
So yeah after mum made us both a hot chocolate with marshmallows we headed up to bed. I love my mum, I didn't realise how cool she'd be over her only daughter falling in love with a girl but from how my mum's been acting I think she rather likes Emily. Makes it easier to be more relaxed if I know she's cool with it. God this entry is gunna be long but so much has happened : ) didn't sleep a wink that night, as soon as I closed the bedroom door Emily pinned me up against it and smirked. I'm not kidding that was enough to make me umm wet so you can imagine what happened when she started to kiss me. I've never felt anything like it and I was actually happy, I'd let myself be happy and I was glad because god miss Fitch is a good kisser. Wasn't gunna let her have all the fun though I managed to move her over to the bed and pin her down hehe looking at her was breathtaking she seriously is beautiful with her cute button nose and those captivating eyes. I just couldn't resist I licked my bottom lip, watched her bite hers and kissed her. Her lips against mine just feel so, how do I put it? Meant to be. And when her tongue brushed across my lips asking for entry, it was so intense all I could do was moan. Feeling her body against mine… ok I think I need to stop writing about it I'm turning myself on LOL lets just say we literally had mind blowing sex all the way through the night : )
The next day at college I couldn't keep my eyes off her and Effy noticed. She knew straight away summit was going on between us but for Emz sake I told her to keep it on the low until we figure out how to deal with Katie. Yeah Emily's twin hates me but you know that I've written about it in many entries dating back to middle school. Katie arranged a trip for us all to go camping, I was surprised I was actually invited the whole way there Effy kept smirking at us. Was hard in the car keeping my hands off her but I wasn't ready to tell and I don't think Emily was either. The trip its self was freaky these weird hunter guys were trying to scare us by ramming us off the road. For a minute I was actually freaking out and I grabbed Emily's hand I wanted her to know I'd keep her safe. Thomas noticed and sent a smile my way, which I returned it was nice to see people approved of our relationship. The tent arrangements were funny you could tell Katie had arranged them; her and Freddie were together, Pandora and Thomas, Effy was alone and then there was me, Emily and JJ. Yeah tell me about it 3 in a tent when Effy had one all to herself but it was almost like Katie wanted Effy to be alone and she defiantly didn't want me alone with Emily, in Katie's eyes I was a big dyke. JJ bless him was oblivious to the fact that Emily and me were together, he totally didn't get the looks I kept giving her I think he got very confused. Anyways when JJ finally fell asleep we went for a walk, it was so peaceful in the woods at night and the stars were beautiful. It was a beautiful night to be walking with oo I dunna know can I say my girlfriend yet or is that to soon?? We found a spot away from the camp site and laid down on a blanket looking up at the stars. Emily laid her head on my chest, I had my arms wrapped tight around her. We lay there what seemed like hours just gazing at the stars. She tilted her head so our eyes met and told me how beautiful I looked. I laughed, me beautiful I don't think so – she was the beautiful one. She silenced me by placing her lips on mine, just one touch and it was like poison running all the way through my body that my body started to shake. What she said next made me feel a slight pang in my heart "Your not gunna run away again are you?" it hurt to hear but I think the woods brought back memories of the lake and she had every right to ask. I sat up and held her hand tight, looking her in the eyes I smiled and said "never again" yeah I know right that was pretty commitmenty of me, I meant it at the time and I really don't want to be without her. My words made her eyes water and I wiped the tears off her cheek and lent in for a kiss. The kiss intensified and I couldn't resist I laid her back down on the blanket and stroked her legs slowly up and down. Thing with Miss Fitch is, she doesn't like being on bottom, she flipped me over whilst taking off my top – this girl has skills I'm telling you. It was only fair that her top came off too so I pulled hers off and the second it was over her head her lips came crashing down on mine. I let out a moan her touch, her sent everything about her just drives me crazy. It wasn't long until she had managed to take my skirt off and before I could take hers off her hands were working their magic and I couldn't do anything but moan and bite my tongue to stop myself from screaming.
The mornings used to be my least favourite time Naomi and mornings do not go together but waking up in Emily's arms makes them so more enjoyable. This might sound creepy but watching her sleep made me smile, she looked so peaceful and innocent. I kissed her forehead and she stirred, seeing her open her eyes and me being the first thing she sees made me feel so special. I think you can all tell I've fallen very very hard for this girl. We had to get back to the tent before the others woke up and JJ realised we weren't between him anymore. We managed it just and I'll never forget the first thing JJ said to us when he woke up "You ladies like to wriggle, don't you?" oh the sweet innocence of JJ yes we do in deed like to wriggle more then he'll ever know LOL.
