Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or Agents of Shield

Special S/O to websky and Hofherrp for being my first reviewers and LisaMichelle25 for following the story! Thanks guys =) it means a lot!


"You devoted your entire life to a deranged narcissist who didn't give a damn about anyone. And now he's dead…so who are you without him?"

That was the million dollar question, now wasn't it? All Ward's life, he had followed orders: from his parents, from his brother, from Garrett. Even from Coulson. Now, he was stuck in a cell. No scratch that, it was more of a box- the walls, floor and ceiling were made of all the same material, patterned by hexagons. On the far side there was a steel table and two chairs. Against one wall was a small mattress. Everything was bolted to the ground. Ward did a double take. Hexagons. Furniture bolted down.

He was on the Bus.

Ward racked his memory, trying to remember how he got here, but it was blank. They must have drugged him.

The door opened and a petite brunette walked in, flanked by two of Fury's personal guards.

"You drugged me." Ward rasped. His voice was slowly coming back but he had been told that it might not ever be the same again. Just like Fitz.

"Yes, we needed you to be transported here." Simmons said matter-of-factly. "You remember that you agreed to be the subject of my tests and I need you close by to monitor the results. We just tested a new drug out. It knocks you out, but when you come to, you will feel no pain, no nausea. It will even calm you in the first few seconds that you are awake. It will almost be as though you have no idea that you were drugged, until you register your surroundings.

"Well, it worked. I feel nothing, physically." Ward said in his best congratulatory tone while still trying to be sincere.

"And your voice seems to be improving. Well, that's all I came here to say." Simmons noted in an upbeat but slightly nervous manner. She then paused, as if she were going to say something else, then left abruptly, her bodyguards filing out after her.

So he was on the Bus. But that meant that Skye-

"I want to see her," Ward called out, but he was too late. The door slammed shut behind the last bodyguard and he was alone again.

Ward had yet to say her name out loud. It was too symbolic for him- to pronounce those syllables that made up her name in his new voice. His arrested-traitor-damaged-voice. It was as if he believed that if he never said her name in his new voice, the recent events that transpired between him and Skye would not have happened and things could go back to the way that they were.

It didn't matter that he never said her name. Whenever he brought her up to his other visitors, they always knew who he was talking about. They didn't know exactly what had happened between the two of them and Ward wasn't about to tell them. He needed to see her, even if she spent the entire time punching him and spitting in his face. She was the only one who hadn't been to see him, other than Fitz, and he felt that he owed her an explanation, even if she wouldn't listen. He would try, but if she didn't want to hear it, then he at least needed to see her in person to make sure she didn't suffer and lasting physical injuries from the HYDRA takedown.

Shaking his head, Ward spent the next few minutes trying to determine if he really wasn't dizzy before launching into his daily workout. At least, he thought he did it daily. He wasn't allowed any timekeeping devices and no one was interested in telling him the time. The only reason that he did those workouts was to try to get his mind off things and to have something to do. He doubted that he would be in combat anytime soon, if ever, and he wasn't planning on breaking out. He was kept in solitary confinement at all hours of the day and his first visitor had been Simmons, who approached him with her proposal and a few questions. It was then when he was told that a month had passed since his arrest and Fitz still had not woken up.

After Simmons, he got a few more visitors and was moved to several different locations, using the new drugs that Simmons was perfecting. Still, he had a lot of time to himself to consider Coulson's last words to him, realizing that this internal torture was, in fact, worse than external torture.

The worst torture to him, of course, was not seeing Skye. He thought about her often, wondering what she was doing, what conclusions she had reached about him, wondering if he would ever have a chance at redemption, to prove to her that he was more than just a puppet. He thought about Raina's discoveries about Skye, her supposed "true nature." Ward worried often about whether or not she was hurt, physically and emotionally and to what degree. It pained him to think that he was the catalyst for all her problems.

Ward was also going through an existential crisis. He wasn't suicidal, just lost as to who and what he was. He had just began to think on that topic when another figure entered his prison room.

"I want to see her." He said instantly, not wanting to miss another chance. He kept his head bowed down to the ground, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat on the mattress. A pair of loafers stopped six feet away from Ward, a perfectly tailored pair of dress pants skimming the tops of the shoes. Coulson. Only Coulson ever worse suits on the bus.

"I don't think you are in any sort of a place to be making demands like that." Coulson remarked coolly.

Ward looked up, "It's not a demand, it's a request. All I need is five minutes."

"Let's talk HYDRA."

Ward narrowed his eyes, If he cooperated, there was a chance that they would cave and let him see Skye. Maybe even being to realize that he wasn't as evil as they thought.

"What do you want to know?"

Coulson slipped his hands into his pockets. "What remaining pockets are out there?"

"Get me a map and I'll mark them for you. " He would just have to play Good Boy. "Ah- while you're out there, tell Skye I'd like to chat."

Coulson stopped on his way to the door and half turned around to look back at the former SHIELD agent, "It's not that we won't let you see her. It's that she doesn't want to see you. You can imagine why."

Ward bowed his head to the ground again. He had known all along that this was the case, for some reason, he just needed someone to say it out loud to confirm it.

Bear with me guys, I'm almost done setting up the story. Hope you liked Ward's PoV… I'm finding it a little difficult to write from his PoV but my goal is to go between Skye and Ward. As always, I love reviews! Spoiler alert: Skye and Ward meet up next chapter!