Maiden's Prayer
Shinku remembers the day Jun brought home a towering stack of children's books for Shinku to read. When Jun threw the books at Shinku's feet, Shinku immediately sat in her most favorite chair and read each and every one of them; cover to cover. She read stories of brave princes and small mice who would help a poor and lonely girl become a princess. She read the adventures of a beautiful princess who befriended seven lively dwarves, and of evil stepmothers who wished their daughters to stand down from the spotlight. All of these magic stories Shinku read, she felt some sort of connection to. She couldn't place what she felt to the stories, but there was definitely a connection.
Of all the stories that Shinku had read that day, there was a particular story that had reached out to her.
When she finished reading the book, she looked at the cover had said the name aloud to herself
"The Little Mermaid..."
The girl who fell in love with a human boy and watched him from the seas. She made a deal with an evil witch; She would be granted a human form, but she could not speak. Once the deal was over, she would die. When she finally became human, she couldn't tell the prince that she loved him and eventually threw herself into the ocean, out of prince, who had loved the Mermaid, jumped into the ocean with her and dragged her to safety. The Mermaid had regained her voice, and married the Prince. Together, they lived happily ever after... And the mermaid lived the remainder of her life above the sea, as a human, where her father and mermaid sisters would visit her from the ocean...
Shinku awoke, her eyelashes fluttering open as she regained her consciousness. Before she had fallen, she was in the park, during the night time. Now, when Shinku looked around, she was floating through a world, where colors did not exist and there was an absence of light. Shinku felt as though she were weightless, and the things around her changed without affecting her.
"Is this... what humans would call... a 'dream'?" Shinku wondered, still half-unconscious. "Am I alone?" Shinku looked around, but saw no people by her side. "Jun? Hina...? Suiseki...?" No answer. Shinku was all alone. Shinku tried to get up, but found it hard to.
There was no gravity. There was no time, no space, and no light.
"Where am I?" Shinku asked as she turned her head from side to side. She couldn't see anything; it was like she had no eyes in her porcelain skull.
"Dearest Shinku, you are in the Realm of Nothingness..."
"Who was that...? Show yourself at once," Shinku demanded. If someone was here in the world with her, she would like to at least know the whereabouts. Looking around furiously, she couldn't see anything. "Where are you?"
"I am not 'here'," the voice stated. The ghastly echo of this person's voice was quite eerie. It was the only sound Shinku could hear. Shinku opened her eyes a little wider.
"You are not here? But how can that be? I am speaking to you right now." Shinku said with an odd expression. It was impossible for someone to not be here, but exist here, anyways. Shinku did not believe it.
"I do not exist in this world, unless you want me to. I am a part of you; I am your soul." the voice wailed.
"My soul...?" Shinku thought for a minute while she looked down at her hands. She saw the ball-joints on her wrist and frowned. "But, dolls do not have souls. Dolls are not living... We do not have a soul within us."
"Oh, is that so?" The eerie voice said. "I've been with you for the longest of times, Shinku. Ever since the day Rozen completed you as the Fifth doll of the Rozen Maidens. I've resided in your 'heart' since the moment you first opened your eyes to the world."
"H...Hollier? Is that you?" Shinku demanded. Her voice rose an octave as she desperately tried to search for the source.
"Yes... It is I, Hollier; Your Roza Mystica; Your soul."
Shinku blinked as she realized that it was Hollier that had brought her here, to this place with no light.
"Hollier, where are you?!" Shinku asked. Although Shinku couldn't see anything, Hollier was a ball of light. If Hollier was here, she would be able to see it within the darkness... Right?
"I am here, with you. We are inside of your 'heart'. I am within the deepest part of your 'heart'; where no one but yourself can reach."
"You said we were in the Realm of Nothingness... Why am I here?" Shinku pointed out.
"Yes. The Realm of Nothingness is your 'heart'. You may have a soul, but only humans have a full heart. You, Shinku, have an empty heart. You feel no emotion; you do not dream. You realized this, and you wanted to have a 'heart'. And that is why I brought you here... I will make your wish come true."
"My wish...?" Shinku then recalled walking in the park during the late night. She remembered wondering what being a human meant; what being in love was like.
"Making a wish is the first step to having a 'heart'... " Hollier began, "You realized that there is something you desire with all of your being."
"How will you make my wish come true, then?" Shinku didn't understand. Hollier was her Soul, but it seemed to be a completely different being than Shinku herself. Shinku had never spoken to Hollier; Hollier, for all Shinku had previously known about Roza Mysticas, was just something to protect, but she never saw why. Now, she understood it clearly.
"I will make a pact with you. For decades and decades in the past and present, I have followed you. I have made sure that you stayed 'alive'. Without me, you would be an average doll, Shinku. So, this pact will also pay me back..."
"What is it, Hollier? What is the pact?" Shiku seemed eager to hear the rest.
"I will grant you a human body and a human heart. With this human heart, you will obtain as many emotions and memories you can. You will learn what it is to be 'human'. You will be able to fall in love and be loved."
Shinku was now starting to get the idea. She wanted the pact to start immediately, and wanted Hollier to know that she accepted.
"Hollier, oh, please! I accept the pact! Please establish it right n-" Hollier cut Shinku off.
"Allow me to finish, dearest Shinku. The pact will only last no more than twenty-nine days. Did you hear that? Twenty-nine days. When twenty-nine days have passed, given that you have accepted the pact, your human form will die, and your doll form will become inanimate. I will no longer be with you once I die in your human body."
"Die...?" Shinku repeated. When twenty-nine days were over, Shinku would be dead? Forever?
"I will follow you to your human body. When you die, we will part, Shinku. 'Shinku' will die, but your spirit, 'Hollier', will go to a different place. Your 'heart' will cease to exist, therefore setting me free to a new world..."
"...Is that so..."
"Yes... Shinku. This world that we are in now; it is your 'heart'. It is empty because you have never felt emotion. You have never dreamed. You have no fond memories. That is why it is the Realm of Nothingness. When you become human, this place will no longer be empty. It will have every memory and dream you've ever had; every sight you've seen and every time you felt fear and love. When you die, I, your soul, will come here; to your heart. I will stay here forever, in the heart that you have created... The heart with everything you've ever experienced while you were living."
Things just got more complicated. If Shinku accepted the pact, she would become human and be able to directly express her emotions. She could love Jun. She could get annoyed when Hinaichigo yelled in the morning. She could feel the wind brush against her hair, and she could enjoy the world. But, if she accepted the pact, in twenty-nine days, she will die. Right when she finally sees the life of being a human; it will be taken from her.
On the other hand, if Shinku didn't accept the pact, she would be stuck as a doll. The Realm of Nothingness would remain empty and broken forever. She will never know love, and she will remain a heartless doll, without a purpose on Earth. Jun will never see her as anything but an emotionless doll that sputters out orders. Shinku will never have a dream, or a fear, or love.
"So, what will it be, dearest Shinku? You need not accept the pact if you want not to." Hollier whispered from inside her 'heart'.
"Hollier... There are many risks that I will take if I accept the pact. I will live; but in the end, I will only die. A very sorrowful choice to make. And I hope you understand my reasoning..."
"Then, Shinku; I ask you the question that hundreds of humans have been asked before..."
Shinku mentally braced herself for the question. She thought and she thought about what her answer would be; what would be best for herself and Jun? What about her sisters?
Hollier then spoke the words.
"Wind, or Don't Wind?"
Shinku finally came to her decision; there was no stopping her now. Once she picked an action, it was all in her hands where the destiny of her future lies. With this in mind, Shinku whispered her answer. Here goes nothing...
"Wind."
To be continued in Chapter the Third....
Please keep those reviews rolling! I hope that by now, you can see a moral starting to take shape...
OSP
