WTF at what I was thinking when I said that Surrender Benson takes place in March 2013; just for clarity, I meant May 2013. Anyways, hope you like the chapter, and as always, review, review, review!

CHAPTER 2

Three lonely weeks had passed since Olivia had found out the news. Since then, she had been trying to work past her PTSD and accept her child as the gift that it was. Even though she had given the "you're a survivor, it's not your fault" speech what seemed like hundreds of times, when she had to tell herself, she couldn't believe it. It was now the morning of her eight-week ultrasound, and she was looking for clothes to wear.

Besides the mental challenges, Olivia now had to deal with physical changes, seeing as any of her previously tightly fitting pants and shirts no longer fit without either staying unbuttoned or being strained by her thickening waistline to the point where it was obvious she had a belly. She tried to cover it up, because she knew when people saw her slightly chubby figure, they would look at her stomach that was spilling over her waistband and think that she was fat and not pregnant. "Just another thing to help damage my self esteem," Olivia thought to herself.

Despite the nature of the conception of the life growing inside her, Olivia had decided she was going to keep the baby. As far as she was concerned, the child was hers, and nobody else's. Even though Lewis may have been a biological parent to the baby, Liv believed that he was in no way the father of her child. She was still having night terrors, flashbacks, and emotional episodes, but she had tried to grow stronger so as to be a proper mother.

The first thing about raising the baby that concerned Liv was that she was the product of her mother's rape, and this child would be the product of her own rape. Having flashbacks of her mother chasing after her with the jagged end of a broken vodka bottle, calling her a monster, and repeatedly verbally and physically abusing her had her concerned that Olivia would become her mother.

Before she even knew she was pregnant, Liv had increased her alcohol intake from the occasional glass of red wine with dinner to an average of two bottles a night of whatever she could get her hands on. She would almost always wake up with a pounding headache or a massive hangover, and she occasionally would have blackouts from which she would wake up not remembering anything that had happened the night before. However, the day she found out about the baby, Liv had opened her fridge and disposed of all the alcohol after she had finished crying on the floor. Since then, there hadn't been any alcohol in her apartment. The way Olivia saw it, was that her mother was an alcoholic, and if she kept drinking the way she did, then it would be her first step into becoming her mother.

Coming back to her senses, Olivia snapped out of her trance. She peered back into her closet and decided that it would be better if she took a shower and got ready before she chose what to wear. Liv walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower as hot as it would go, and stepped into the steaming hot bathtub. She stood there for a few minutes, letting the fiery water run down her body, yelping when the near-boiling liquid had first made contact with some of the not yet healed burns Lewis had made. She washed her hair, but as she moved to wash her body, she saw the burns and knew what was about to happen. She gasped and clamped her hand over her mouth before hopping out of the shower and dropping in front of the toilet, where she had yet another bout of morning sickness. If there was anything besides her burgeoning belly that irritated her about being pregnant, it was the brutal morning sickness that she'd had to deal with daily. After heaving for about five minutes, Olivia put her hand on the toilet seat for support before slowly lifting herself off the ground so she could walk back to the shower.

After she had gotten back to the shower, she started where she left off washing her body before getting out of the shower and drying off. She then freshened up, but as she was walking back to her bedroom to get dressed, Olivia caught her reflection in the mirror, and her curiosity got the best of her. Dropping the towel that covered her changing figure that was still as secret to everyone, she turned to the side and put a hand on her abdomen, examining her changing profile. Normally, she was as thin as a board, but now there was a firm, round bump right that began right beneath her belly button that symbolized the existence of her child. Olivia stood there for what seemed like hours, unable to completely believe that her body was changing and was now displaying what would be the beginning of the curve of motherhood. Liv smiled to herself, thinking about a few months from now, when her body will have softened, her stomach developing a roundness that would be a sign to all that she, Olivia Benson, was pregnant.

Olivia moved her gaze upwards, only to see her closet in the mirror. She then remembered that she still needed to find and outfit and get dressed. Before trudging over to her closet, Liv placed a thoughtful hand on her stomach and smiled at her reflection one last time for that morning. Now standing in her closet, Olivia was now struggling to find an outfit that still fit comfortably. She put on one of her looser blouses that completely hid her stomach from onlookers, but was having trouble finding a properly fitting pair of pants. Liv looked down to her rounded stomach and sighed, "You know rookie, Momma's gonna have to wear her fat pants because of you. Hopefully, when I go back to work Momma's squad mates either don't notice you or just think Momma's getting chubby."

Olivia moved her search to the back of her closet, where she found her dreaded fat pants. Originally bought as temporary work pants in case Olivia ever put on a few extra pounds over the holidays, the dress slacks that typically had a lot of room left over in her waistband were a rather tight fit; Liv even had to fall back onto her bed and suck her stomach in just to be able to button the resistant pants.

"And I thought that most women were barely showing at eight weeks," Olivia groaned, looking at the angry red marks her fat pants were making as they dug into her midsection in protest.

At Doctor Manson's office, Olivia was led to a small examination room and told that the Doctor would see her in a few minutes. Olivia closed her eyes, trying to catch up on the sleep that her morning sickness had been taking from her, but to no avail. After about two minutes of resting, the granola bar and coffee Liv had for breakfast were ready to make a reappearance in the form of a major heartburn. Olivia groaned and doubled over in pain seconds before Doctor Manson appeared in the doorway.

"Not doing too well today, Ms. Benson?" The slightly younger women smiled sympathetically.

"Eurgh, I swear this baby does not want me to be able to eat anything and keep it down." Olivia complained, her voice barely audible.

"Well, I can go get you a weak painkiller, and then we can get your ultrasound set up."

"Please, anything to stop the pain!"

Twenty minutes later, Doctor Manson had returned with a painkiller and Olivia's pain had diminished. Once Doctor Manson had finished running a blood test and checking Olivia's heart rate, she prepared for the ultrasound, instructing Olivia to pull up her blouse, revealing her slightly distended belly. The doctor then put a cold gel on Liv's stomach, with Olivia flinching at just how frigid the gel was. After what seemed like ages for Olivia, Doctor Manson finally began running the Doppler over Olivia's abdomen. After a few minutes, there was still nothing to be seen or heard, and Olivia was starting to panic.

"Why aren't we seeing anything?"

"Don't worry, Ms. Benson, sometimes it might take a whi-" Doctor Manson's explanation was cut off by the sounds of a rapid heartbeat filling the room. Doctor Manson cracked a smile and replied, "And there's the baby. You have a healthy eight week old fetus." Olivia's eyes were misting as she saw her child for the first time. Sure, it was just a tiny blob, but it was her tiny blob. When Liv looked up, Doctor Manson had a more serious countenance. Noticing the puzzled expression on her patient's the doctor calmly asked, "Just one thing, Olivia. I know I haven't brought it up until now, but have you decided whether or not you want to keep it?"

Olivia stared at her midsection thoughtfully for a moment, as if she hadn't already made up her mind. Seeing the way her pants looked as if they were about to tear reinforced her answer. Liv made eye contact with Doctor Manson, and stated, "Yes, I want to keep the baby."

The young doctor smiled and handed Olivia a paper towel to clean off her stomach before saying, "All right then, I'll see you back here for your 12 week ultrasound."

That evening, Olivia looked at her calendar and realized she only had one week left of leave before she had to return to work. She still wasn't comfortable with the idea of her coworkers knowing she was pregnant just yet; they had already started treating her like damaged goods as soon as they had found out about what Lewis did to her. The last thing Olivia needed was her squad trying to protect her even more because she was with child.

As Olivia was getting ready for bed, she was changing out of her clothes and into her pajamas when she noticed the angry red marks her pants had made in her skin, yet this time they were far more noticeable than they had been that morning. Olivia sighed as she crawled into bed, muttering, "All right, rookie. Momma has to go back to work next week, So she's gonna need you to not be so big so that way Momma's squad mates don't find out about our little secret."

Drifting off into sleep, Olivia started panicking as she realized that sooner or later her squad was going to find out about her pregnancy; the thought had already occurred to her, but they were also gonna find out that Lewis was the father. There was no way they'd be able to look at her the same way, knowing that she, Olivia Benson was raped and was now pregnant with her attacker's child. A single tear slid down Liv's cheek as she realized just how terrified she was about it all.

And that's chapter two! I read some of the comments on the first chapter, and quite a few of them were noting how Liv shouldn't be showing yet. Well, I had a reason for her already showing, but then somebody said, "please don't let her have multiples." I am in no way offended, but I just want to let you guys know that I'm writing this fic with you in mind, so here's how we're going to make sense of Liv showing so early: when you review this chapter, tell me if you want Liv to have twins, or if you want her to have a single child (in which case I'll write off the sudden weight gain; it's fiction, all right?) So I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you are voting whether you want Liv to have one child or twins, please vote in you review by 12 P.M. EST tomorrow. As always, review, review, review!