AN. Just a note- "Frex" refers to present Frex, whilst "Frexspar" is his past self.

Chapter Two: The First of the Spirits

Alone once more, Frex was very still. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what to make of what had just happened. Melena. He had seen her, spoken to her. Had he? Had that just happened?

It had certainly looked like her, sounded like her. But there were no such things as ghosts… sorry, spirits. Were there?

For the sake of argument, and to save Frex developing a migraine- say it had been Melena's spirit. What of everything she had said to him? Three spirits would come to him this night, or it would be too late for him. Try as he might, Frex couldn't make sense of that.

Shaking his head firmly, Frex stiffened his resolve.

This was utter nonsense. Whether or not Melena had been real or a hallucination, clearly there was no such thing as spirits. And there was no reason for further spirits to appear to him. Yes, he and Elphaba weren't close. What did that matter? Plenty of parents weren't close to their children, and he had Nessarose.

Frex left his study and went about his normal nightly routine, locking up the house and getting ready for bed. It was only eleven o'clock and rather early for him, but after the night he'd had, he could do with an early night.

As he got ready for bed, Frex couldn't shake the feeling as though someone was in the room with him. And once he was in bed, the lamp off and waiting for sleep to claim him, he found it was worse. Every tick of the clock made his heart jump into his throat, every creak made his breath hitch in fear for a second.

What was he expecting? Part of him still didn't believe anything was going to happen. And the other part of him… well, the other part of him was terrified. Seeing Melena before him was one thing, but seeing other spirits…

If they did come, would they all be people he had once known? One of his parents? He hoped not. Besides, both his parents had died before Elphaba was even born. Frex couldn't think of anyone else he had known that had died that he was particularly close with.

Frex lay there, watching the clock tick ever closer to midnight, and with every minute, he grew more apprehensive. At eleven-thirty, he gave up all pretense of trying to sleep and instead just waited for midnight.

At long last, the big hand ticked over to join the short hand on the twelve; and at the same time Frex heard the big grandfather clock downstairs call out the hour, the chime echoing the house and sounding more booming and foreboding than Frex had ever heard it. At the first chime, he bolted upright in bed, scanning the room frantically.

His stomach was in knots, but the room remained empty. With every further chime, he grew less and less uncertain. The room was still empty, save for himself. And then on the twelfth chime, just as Frex started to let himself relax, a blinding white light filled the room. Instinctively, Frex threw up his hands to shield his eyes.

When he finally dared to lower his hands, still bracing himself against the bright light, he saw a figure standing by his bed. As his eyes adjusted and the shape came into focus, his jaw dropped slightly.

"Nessa?"

"Good evening, Frexspar Thropp. Or should I say, good morning, rather."

Frex was speechless. "Your- your chair," he said, staring at her.

There was no chair. Nessa was standing, as she had never done in her life.

"I am not actually Nessarose," Nessa who wasn't Nessa said, almost apologetically.

"I don't understand," Frex said, although granted, there wasn't much about this night that he understood.

"I am the Ghost of Lurlinemas Past," Nessa announced herself, because Frex couldn't think of this… spectre who looked exactly like his youngest daughter, any other way.

"The Ghost of…"

"Lurlinemas Past," she nodded.

Even though Frex hadn't known what to expect, it certainly hadn't been this.

"As spirits, we have the power to assume any form we wish," she explained. "Whichever form we think will calm people most when we appear to them. Not that this is a common occurrence," she added as an afterthought.

"So… you chose my daughter?" Frex asked, raising an eyebrow.

"To be ignorant of the past is to be forever a child," Nessa quoted.

Frex frowned, and she elaborated. "The past has the most to teach us, yet it is in many ways the most innocent time. Childhood is the biggest part of the past of humans, because of that innocence. And no being represents innocence more clearly to you than Nessarose."

That was true.

"How much are you…"

"I have all her memories up to the point in time I appeared to you," she said calmly. "And I can draw upon any of her thoughts, characteristics or personality traits as I wish. I chose not to use the wheelchair because it would rather hinder our journey."

Frex's eyes widened. "Journey?" he repeated. "Where are we going?"

Nessarose smiled. "You will see. Take my hand."

Frex hesitated. This form of Nessa didn't look any more solid than Melena had. But then she gave him that look, the one the real Nessa did. The look of pure sweetness and innocence that Frex could never say no to. And evidently, the fact it wasn't actually his daughter but merely a spirit assuming her form, proved absolutely no different.

He reached out and took her hand, as she smiled triumphantly with a smugness that was more reminiscent of Elphaba than Nessarose. The same blinding light in which Nessa- the spirit- had appeared in filled the room once more and enveloped them. Frex closed his eyes against the brightness once more and when he opened them, he looked around.

He was surprised to find them still in his bedroom.

"We haven't gone anywhere," he said in distain. Hadn't it worked?

Nessa- because Frex couldn't think of her any other way- simply smiled. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," Frex said in a tone more harsh he had ever actually used with Nessarose. "We left my bedroom, and this is my bedroom!"

"Is nothing different?" she asked innocently. "Maybe it's not so much a question of where, but when."

At first, Frex didn't know what she meant. And then he looked more closely and his breath caught. There were flowers on the nightstand.

That may not seem like a big deal, but Frex hadn't had flowers in his bedroom in nineteen years. That was something Melena had insisted on… when she was alive. His heart pounding in his chest, he noticed other small differences.

Different sheets and quilt on the bed- the quilt Frex had burned after Nessa's birth because it had been too blood-stained. Photographs of Melena, with himself and with Elphaba as a baby sat amongst the room, photos which Frex knew for a fact resided in a shoe box at the back of his closet.

As it hit him and hardly daring to hope, Frex wrenched the door opened and hurried down the stairs. The ground floor was resplendent in Lurlinemas decorations, a marked change from how Frex had last seen it. And coming from the living room was the sound of voices and laughter.

The sight that met him as Frex moved into the doorway had him transfixed. There was Melena, sitting on the floor near the Lurlinemas tree; and she was laughing and watching as a little green baby carefully pulled at a wrapped package.

"Elphaba's first Lurlinemas, wasn't it?" Nessa asked.

Frex jumped slightly, he hadn't noticed the spirit behind him.

"I believe so," he said stiffly.

There was no doubt about it, though. He remembered it more clearly than Frex wanted to admit.

Elphaba would be nine months, he recalled, inspecting the scene closely. He went to step into the room but hesitated.

"They can't see us, or hear us," the spirit reminded him.

Frex nodded absently and stepped into the room.

"Frex!" Melena called lightly, her tone full of laughter and love.

Frex froze, his blood running cold.

"Frex!" she called again. "You have to come see this! Come watch!"

As the memory washed over him, Frex turned and saw himself enter the room, which was a supremely odd feeling. He hadn't changed much, from what he could tell. A few less lines on his face, maybe a few pounds lighter, that was it.

Frexspar of the past looked at the scene, his lips pursed tightly. And Frex was genuinely surprised. He knew that look, it was the look that Nessarose- the real Nessarose- called 'the Elphaba look'. He just hadn't realised it had been in use when Elphaba was an infant.

"Watch Fabala open her present," Melena urged him, and both past and present Frex turned their gaze to Elphaba.

Nine months… Frex hadn't thought about Elphaba as a baby for a long time. Had she always had Melena's nose? The big dark eyes with the long lashes?

"A beautiful baby," Nessa said admiringly, bending down to see her better. "Does she resemble you or Melena more now that she's grown?"

Frex opened his mouth, and then paused. He wasn't sure. All he knew for certain about his eldest daughter was that she was green. But now, he had to admit Elphaba was… cuter, than he remembered. Despite the green.

Instead of answering, he turned his attention back to the scene before him. Elphaba was opening a present, although it was clear all she was really doing was tearing away the paper. She was too little to actually understanding the idea of Lurlinemas, presents or what she was doing.

"What have you got, Fabala?" Melena asked brightly, discreetly helping Elphaba unwrap the present to reveal a large, stuffed white teddy bear.

Elphaba's tiny little face lit up and she reached out for the stuffed toy. She fell onto it in an ungraceful embrace and as she fought to straighten up back into a seating position, she immediately put her mouth around the bear's nose, as babies are wont to do.

Melena giggled, as did the spirit beside Frex.

"Show Daddy what you got," Melena urged her daughter.

Frex watched as Elphaba turned to look up at his past self, holding up the bear and babbling softly. Then he watched as he merely sniffed and nodded.

Melena's face fell. "Frex," she said quietly. "It's her first Lurlinemas. Our first as a family. Can't you try?"

"She's nine months old, Melena. She doesn't understand any of this, and she won't remember it."

"But I will," Melena replied and got to her feet. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. Can you just watch her for a minute? Please?"

She left the room.

Elphaba still seemed absorbed by the bear, and then she looked around and noticed her mother wasn't there. Frex couldn't miss the look that came across her face as she looked around and saw his past self still in the room- it was almost relief, if infants were capable of such emotions.

Abandoning the bear, she crawled towards Frexspar and sat herself at her feet. Gurgling, she reached out towards him, clearly being asked to be picked up.

"Ma ma ma ma," she said.

Frex remembered this clearly, his heart wrenching painfully. Melena had insisted she was saying 'Mama' and Frex had just as fervently insisted it was just sounds.

Frexspar sat there, ignoring the baby's pleas. Then came the first whimper, which turned into sobs and then Elphaba was crying softly, her tiny fingers grasping at Frexspar's pant leg and weakly tugging.

Frex could only watch. Despite himself, he felt rather ashamed. Watching himself, it seemed worse than Frex remembered it.

"You can't even pick up your own child?" the spirit asked, soundly decidedly unlike Nessarose. "She's crying. All she wanted was to be picked up and held by her father. Did you ever hold her as a child?"

"Of course I-" Frex snapped, and then stopped abruptly. He had, hadn't he? He must have. He wracked his brain desperately, trying to conjure a memory.

But he was interrupted as Melena returned to the room, her footsteps quickened by Elphaba's sobs. When she saw what was happening, tears filled her own eyes.

"Really, Frex?" she demanded coldly.

At the sound of her voice, Elphaba immediately turned to her mother. "Ma ma!"

Melena scooped the baby into her arms, holding her close and wiping away a few tears. "Yes, darling girl. Mama's here."

Holding Elphaba closely, she glared down at Frexspar through teary eyes. "She may be green, but she's not poison. She's a little girl! She's a baby. Can't you see past her skin for even a moment?"

Frexspar said nothing, even as Frex silently urged his past self to say something- anything. Finally, Melena left the room, taking Elphaba with her.

The room was silent until the spirit spoke.

"So right from the beginning, you wouldn't give your daughter so much as a hug. She was an infant. What exactly had she done to warrant your disgustification?"

"She was born," Frex snapped without thinking.

Nessarose raised an eyebrow. "Indeed?"

Frex stalled. "She- she was… when you have a child born with an... abnormality," he struggled, trying to explain it. There was no way a Spirit could understand what it was like to have your firstborn come out green.

"And you've had two," the spirit said quietly.

"Two?" Frex repeated in surprise.

"Nessarose. She was born with an… abnormality, wasn't she? She can't walk."

"That's different," Frex said immediately.

"Why?" she countered.

Frex opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Why was it different?

"Because Nessarose's skin is a normal colour? Because you're responsible?"

Frex paled. "What do you mean?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

The spirit ignored him and took his arm.

"Let's see another memory, shall we?"

Before Frex's eyes, the room faded and reappeared in a flash of light. It looked relatively the same as it had a few seconds ago- the same decorations on the tree, the same festive air. But now Melena lay on the sofa, one hand on her stomach as she watched Elphaba open her gifts, who was no longer a baby but a little girl.

She was pregnant with Nessarose, Frex realised. He tried to mentally do the maths. If it was December and Nessarose had been born in May but had been two months premature, it meant Melena was only two months pregnant. If memory served him, they had only discoverated she was pregnant a week or two prior. And that would make Elphaba… two years and 9 months old.

Frex was surprised by how tiny Elphaba looked to him. She looked almost dainty. Her black hair was a lot longer, hanging past her shoulders in tangled curls. It obviously hadn't been brushed yet today.

His own past self was in the room too, sitting in an armchair and reading the newspaper.

Elphaba was surrounded by a few gifts that she had already opened, clothes, toys. As she opened her next present, she gasped happily.

"Books! I got books, Momma!" she exclaimed in joy.

Melena looked tired and pale. Frex wondered it was because of morning sickness or the milkflowers. He couldn't remember how soon she had started taking them. But she smiled at Elphaba's excited face.

"I see that, sweetheart. Aren't you lucky?"

Elphaba jumped up, book in hand, and came over to the sofa to show her mother. "Can you read it, Momma?" she asked.

Melena almost looked pained. "I would, baby girl, but Momma's not feeling very well right now. Why don't you ask Daddy?"

Elphaba turned and regarded her father closely. She didn't run over and ask him, and Frexspar ignored the little girl.

"It's ok," she finally said. "He's reading about the… W-wend Follows C-corn Draft," she said, squinting.

Frex startled to realise she was reading the headline of the newspaper in his hands. Could she read at that age?

Melena chuckled. "It's the Wend Fallows Corn Drought," she gently corrected. "But well, done Fabala. I bet you can read all those books all by yourself," she told her and Elphaba beamed at her.

"I'll read to you and the baby!" she offered, scrambling up to sit beside her on the sofa. "To make you feel better."

Melena smiled. "I'd love that. And so would the baby."

Frex watched in astonishment as Elphaba haltingly began to read the book aloud, with only minor corrections by Melena. Were children supposed to be reading at this age? Was Nessarose? Why didn't he remember this?

He found himself curiously absorbed in watching Elphaba read to her mother, her little finger pointing at each word on the page.

"Can't you keep the child quiet?"

Everyone in the room, from all time periods, turned to Frexspar. He had put down his paper and was glaring at Elphaba.

Melena was glaring right back at her husband, one arm around Elphaba protectively. Elphaba had gone silent, staring at her father with huge, wide eyes. Frex thought he saw a glimmer of fear in them, and felt a strange sensation in his gut. It felt rather like… guilt?

"She's reading to me and the baby," Melena defended her.

"She's making a racket," Frex snapped. "She can't even read."

Melena's eyes widened. "Aren't you even listening to her? Fabala, where are you going, baby?"

Elphaba had slid off the sofa and was quietly gathering her new things. "It's ok, Momma. I'll put my presents away and won't make a noise," she said quietly. "I hope you feel better Momma. Sorry to make you mad, Daddy."

As she scampered from the room, Melena leaned back against the sofa, closing her eyes.

"Frex-"

"Save your breath, Melena," Frexspar cut her off. "I don't want to hear your speech again."

"Oh, don't worry, I have a new one," Melena said sarcastically. "Frex, do you realise Elphaba is afraid of you?"

Frexspar scoffed. "Don't be ludicrous. Why would she be afraid of me?"

"Maybe because you do nothing but yell at her. Frex, when the baby comes I'll need you to help out more. With Elphaba. I don't want her feeling neglected because I have to spend time with the baby."

Frexspar merely made a noise in his throat and returned to his paper.

The spirit turned to Frex, her face hard.

Frex expected another lecture, but she simply took his arm.

"One more memory," she said and the room faded once more.

This time, when the room reformed, it was different. No decorations, and the room seemed very cold and empty. The room was empty.

"When is this? Where are we?" Frex asked the spirit. There were no signs or indications that helped him pinpoint what year it was.

"Why don't we go find you?" Nessarose suggested.

Frex followed her through the house looking for himself… which was a weird thought to say.

He wasn't in the kitchen, his study or his bedroom. There seemed to be no sign of life anywhere.

"Where is everyone? Why would you show me an empty house?" he demanded of the spirit.

Nessarose cocked her head thoughtfully. "Wait."

Mystified, Frex followed her to a room down the hall from his bedroom. Now, it was a spare room but it had once been Nessarose's room when she was a baby. As it clicked, the spirit firmly grasped his arm and they passed through the closed door into the room.

There was Nessarose- the real Nessarose, as a baby. She was lying in her crib, cooing softly. Beside the crib, was Elphaba, standing on her toes to peer in at her baby sister. Frex's throat grew tight.

"When is this?" he asked, although he knew. This was the first Lurlinemas after Melena's death.

"Ssshh," the spirit hushed him, stepping closer to the crib.

"On Lurlinemas we get presents," Elphaba was telling the baby. "And there's decorations everywhere. Everyone decorates their house to make them look pretty. We don't have any decorations up today. I think Daddy forgot."

Elphaba's voice dropped to a whisper. "He's still really sad about Momma. I am too. I miss her. She was the best Momma ever. You would have liked her, Nessie."

She bent down and picked something off the floor. It took Frex a few moments to recognise the white bear that Elphaba herself had been given for her first Lurlinemas.

"This is my bear. His name is Bai. I thought you might like him. He's-"

"Elphaba!"

Elphaba whipped around, shrinking back against the crib as Frexspar stormed into the room.

"What in Oz's name are you doing?! Get away from the baby!"

Elphaba bit her lip and held up the bear. "I wanted to give her my bear. For Lurlinemas," she explained in a small voice.

Frexspar seized her by the arm and dragged her out of the room into the hall.

"You go to your room," he ordered her. "You do not go near the baby without my express permission, do you understand?"

"I wasn't going to hurt her!" Elphaba protested. "I just wanted to give her a Lurlinemas present. It's her first one," she trailed off.

Frexspar's glare didn't lessen. He took the bear from her and threw it aside. "Stay away from Nessarose," he warned her. "Until I say so, you are not to be trusted with her. Oz knows what you'd do to her. Now, go to your room."

Tears filled Elphaba's eyes and she fled, sobbing. Frexspar entered the room to see Nessarose, but Frex walked down the hall to Elphaba's bedroom without really thinking. The little girl was curled up on her bed sobbing.

In her arms, was a photo of Melena.

"Do you know what happened the last time Elphaba saw her mother?" the spirit asked Frex, appearing at his side.

Frex said nothing.

"Elphaba promised her mother that she'd look after her baby sister."

Frex turned to her. "Why would she promise such a thing?" he demanded. "She didn't know Melena would…" he couldn't say "die." Even now.

"No, she didn't," Nessarose agreed. "But she promised to help Melena take care of the baby and to teach her all sorts of things. She was looking forward to being a big sister. And to be ordered away in case she hurt the baby…"

Frex remembered finding Elphaba in Nessa's room. He had been still torn apart by grief over losing Melena, and what had happened to Nessa, and he had not been able to deal with Lurlinemas on top of that. He'd done his best to ignore Elphaba for almost a year after Melena's death. He'd hired a nanny for the girls and when Nessarose had been five, Elphaba had taken over responsibility for her sister.

He finally noticed that Elphaba had cried herself to sleep, still clutching the photo frame in her arms.

"Did you check on her?" the spirit asked.

"What do you mean?" Frex frowned.

She gestured to Elphaba's sleeping figure. "You sent her to her room in tears. Did you check on her afterwards?"

Frex thought back. "I don't think so," he said stiffly.

"You didn't," the spirit clarified. "How many other times have you sent her away in tears and never checked to make sure she was ok?"

A thought occurred to Frex. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his oldest daughter cry. Even over the summer, for all the arguments they'd had and threats that had been made, he had never seen her so much as shed a tear.

He looked back at Elphaba. She would be not even four here, he realised. He hadn't seen his daughter cry since she was three. And he wasn't stupid enough to believe she hadn't cried in nineteen years.

For the first time, he felt a touch of remorse about his treatment of his daughter. It was difficult to look back at the shadows of the past he had seen and explain why he had never given his daughter so much as a hug.

"What is the point of showing me all this?" he asked gruffly.

"To show you with the benefit of hindsight, the errors of your ways," the spirit said calmly. "You have treated Elphaba horrendibly since she was born. What is happening now and what will happen if you don't make an effort to change, is a consequence of your actions."

Frex spluttered. "I don't see how changing anything will help. The present issue has nothing to do with Elphaba. It's the fault of that boy she's… dating."

Nessarose nodded slowly. "Right. Because she's dating him to spite you, isn't she? He doesn't love her, and it's all about to erupt in scandal, yes?"

"Yes," Frex nodded.

She shook her head with a faint smile. "You still don't see it, do you?"

"See what?" Frex demanded. "Look, I admit… I can see now that I may have treated somewhat unfairly in the past. But this-"

"You don't see the worth in her. The good. You don't believe there's a chance this boy could truly love her."

Frex didn't believe it.

"Maybe the next spirit can help you see the light," the spirit said sadly.

She took Frex's arm once more, the now familiar light appeared and Frex found himself alone in his bedroom. As though nothing had ever happened.

AN. This chapter gave me the excuse to write Melena and YouTube lots of videos of cute kids at Christmas. Win-win, really. That's also how I figured Elphaba's speech fluency and ability to read as a toddler.