Hey there! Sorry for such a long update! I am just having the hardest time writing Clarion as a mean person in this. And sorry if this chapter seems all over the place, but I hope y'all like it! :)
Chapter 2
"Milori!" Clarion yelled. Milori slowly walked into their room, almost afraid of his wife. Lately she had been snapping at anything and everyone, and he didn't want to take another verbal hit. She had gotten worse and worse since Cailida was born. It had been almost a month now.
"Yes dear?"
"Don't 'dear' me." She snorted. He wasn't surprised. She hadn't let him near her in weeks either. And all affection was out the door. "Did you use diaper powder on Cailida?"
"No, we were out." He said, waiting for her to blow.
"Out?" She asked angrily. "I thought I told you to go get more!"
"And I'm about to!" He yelled back.
"Don't tell at me!" She screamed.
"You were yelling first!" He yelled back. They both took a deep breath.
"Can you please just get the powder so Cailida doesn't get a rash?"
"Yes, I'm sorry for arguing. I love you." He went to kiss her head but she dodges it.
"The powder?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Sure," he walked out of the room. "Glad to know you love me back!" He sarcastically yelled as he slammed the door.
"Of course I love you!" Clarion yelled back, even though Milori wouldn't hear it. Clarion began to shake with sobs and she slowly slid to the ground and began to bawl. "Why am I ruining everything?!" She screamed and threw the nearest thing at the wall. It was the book Milori had given her. The one that listed the reasons why he loved her.
Later that evening Milori returned. He had gotten the diaper rash and was quickly dismissed by his wife once more, so he had gone to watch the snowy owls. They always helped him think. He walked in the room and saw the book lying on the ground. 'She really mustn't love me anymore.' He thought as he sat it on her desk. He was surprised to see Clarion in bed already, but figured she had gotten Cailida to sleep and took the opportunity to rest herself. He crawled into bed next to her, but she rolled so far away he couldn't feel the warmth that radiated from her body. He slept restlessly for his wife's behavior worried him.
"Milori...Milori..." Clarion mumbled into her pillow. "It's your turn..." She could hear the wails of their young daughter, only being a month old she was a handful, in the other room.
"Ok..." He sighed. "Ok...I'm going...you can stop smacking me dear." Clarion had been hitting and pushing him lightly, trying to get him out of bed.
Milori pulled the covers back over his love and reached in to kiss her, but she rolled over. He sighed and kissed the side of her head, leaving the room to care for Cailida. As he entered the nursery, he could tell by her cries that she had a dirty diaper.
"Shhh...Callie..." He whispered gently. Picking her up, he carried her over to the pink changing table. He quickly changed her diaper and sat down in the rocking chair, cuddling his daughter. As she was just falling asleep, loud coughing startled her.
Milori shot up from his seat and ran into his room with Cailida in his arms. He wasn't expecting to see Clarion doubled over in a coughing fit, but she was. He sat Callie down in the small baby swing and ran to his wife.
"Clarion!" He took her in his arms and rubbed her back. "Just breathe...deep breaths." She continued to cough for a few more minutes and then finally calmed down. They didn't speak for a while, just sat together, Milori rubbing her back until her breathing was back to normal.
"I'm ok." She said, moving out of his arms and to her daughter. Milori sat wondering how she could say that.
"Are you sure? You were coughing pretty badly dear." He got up and walked behind her. She was sitting on her knees in front of Cailida's baby swing, so he sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Milori I am fine." She sounded annoyed. "It's been happening for a couple days."
"Why haven't you told me?" He whispered.
"It's nothing." She answered quickly. They lapsed into a silence as Clarion rocked the swing, causing Callie to drift to sleep.
"You know Ree..." Milori said when their daughter's eyes closed. "I just want to help you." She didn't reply. Instead, she got up, brushing his hands off her, and carried Cailida to her room. Milori went and sat on the end of their bed and waited for his wife's return.
'Why is she acting like this?' He thought to himself. Clarion floated in and lay right down, falling asleep almost instantly. Milori crawled under the covers next to her and pulled her close. But not even a second later, she rolled out of his embrace.
The next day passed quickly and soon it was sunset. Milori stood there rocking Cailida back and forth, but nothing he tried would stop her screaming. Clarion finally stormed into the room.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"I'm sorry but I can't get her to calm down." Milori looked almost ashamed. Clarion rolled her eyes and took her baby into her arms. After a few minutes of rocking, the baby was fast asleep.
"There..." She whispered as she placed Callie in her crib.
"Thank you dear." Milori said, reveal the crying was over.
"Don't thank me. I'm used to it now." Clarion said bitterly.
"What do you mean?" Milori asked in a mad tone.
"You are horrible at taking care of Cailida!" Clarion blurted out.
"I'm horrible at it?" He asked hurt.
"Yes! I'm always taking care of her because you can feed her right, and you can't even get her to stop crying!"
"I'm sorry I haven't gotten the hang of it. I'll do better-". Clarion suddenly interrupted.
"You know what Milori?" Clarion started. "You can't do anything right!"
"What?" He asked completely taken back.
"You can diaper her right; you can't dress her right; nothing!" Clarion through her hands up.
"Well maybe I would improve if you let me do something for a change!"
"Do something?" Clarion snorted. "Do something right? Not possible for you! I could hire a better father for Cailida!"
"If that's what you really think then I'll just leave!" With that Milori ran out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. Clarion stood there num. Even though she didn't want to believe it, she knew her husband wasn't coming back that night. She floated into their room and fell onto the bed. Pulling the covers over her, she tried to sleep but she simply couldn't.
Clarion slid out of bed and knelt on the floor. "Um…Mother Dove?" She started. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I need your help. I'm so unhappy all the time and I don't know why! The only time I'm happy is when it's Cailida and me. I don't even feel at peace when I'm with my husband. That is if I have a husband. I've pushed him so far away. All I've done is yell at him and I don't know how he continues to put up with me. I just want to be like I was before. Kind and caring. I just want to be myself again." She finished talking and climbed back into bed, wishing she hadn't kicked Milori out. But she had, and now she was sleeping alone.
Little did the queen know, her king had been listening to her prayers from the door. He blinked back tears of joy. 'Clarion isn't doing this on purpose!' He thought. 'She still loves me deep down in there...'
When the sun began to shine through the lace curtains, Clarion stirred. She opened her eyes to see Milori next to her. She couldn't help but feel overjoyed that he had actually returned, but she still felt mad. She was about to say something to him; she even had her hand hovering over his cheek, wanting to feel his skin against hers, but a coughing fit overtook her. Milori heard the noise and opened his eyes to see his lovely wife looking weak and pale.
"Darling?" He whispered. She got her coughing under control and looked at him.
"What?"
"I think you should go to the infirmary. You got worst." He told her gently.
"I'm not sick Milori." She told him matter-of-factly.
"Clarion, honey, you look extremely pale." He reached out to her and she sat still. "I love you and I just want to know you're safe."
"Well you know what, Milori, I am safe!" She snapped. "And I'm not sick." With that she stormed off. Milori followed closely to see her staring at their baby.
"Clarion, what is going on?" He finally broke the silence. She looked over with a frown on her face.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about your mood swings Clarion!" He clarified. Clarion sighed deeply.
"I'm not in the mood to talk right now." He reached out to grab her but she vanished into pixie dust. Never once has she done something like that.
"Well, great…just great!"
Clarion reappeared in the Queen's Room and paced back and forth. 'What is wrong with me?! I want to love my husband, but I can't control any of my emotions. Why can't I just love my husband and be a good friend?' Clarion sobbed. It was the second time she had cried about the subject.
When she returned home, she found her husband and daughter sleeping. Clarion slid into bed, hoping her husband wouldn't wake up. That's how she'd slid into bed every night since Cailida was born.
"Hey there beautiful…" She heard Milori mumble into her hair as he held her close. She tried to wriggle free, but he tightened his grip. Slowly, he covered her neck in warm open mouth kisses.
"Stop it Milori!" She whispered screamed. He didn't listen and let his hands wander. Clarion turned and slapped him across the face.
"Clarion!" He gasped, reaching for the hand print on his cheek.
"I said stop!" She told him firmly. Milori stared at her for the longest time.
"You aren't the women I married." He finally said as he got up and went to sleep on the couch. "The Clarion I fell in love with wouldn't do this."
"Are you saying you don't love me anymore?" Clarion asked. Milori's heart broke when he heard the hurt in her voice.
"I don't know. I still love you, but it's getting harder and harder to do so. It's been over a month since Cailida was born and things are so different."
"What kind of different?" Clarion asked even though she knew the answer.
"You don't seem to love me anymore." Milori started. "You don't tell me you do. You don't call me 'darling' or 'honey' anymore. You don't let me kiss you or even be close to you."
"Well I'm sorry I haven't felt like having sex Milori." She replied bitterly. Milori shook his head and ran fingers through his hair. 'Frost! She just got 'sex' out of that!' Milori thought, scolding himself for wording it that way.
"I could care less about sex Clarion. But there is no intimacy between us anymore! And that is what I care about."
"What are you talking about?" She asked in an accusing tone.
"Clarion, you haven't let me kiss you or hold you or anything in over three weeks." He sighed before continuing. "Yesterday when we were walking through Springtime Square, I wanted to wrap an arm around your waist; I wanted to hold your hand. But you know what stopped me? I was scared!"
"What?" Clarion asked madly.
"I was scared to hold my own wife's hand!" He repeated. Clarion didn't reply; she simply rolled her eyes. "Should I just give up Clarion? Give up and move on with my life?" Milori asked sadly. Before Clarion could reply, Cailida's small wails were heard echoing throughout the room.
"I have to go take care of my daughter." Clarion calmly stated. Milori grabbed her arm.
"Your daughter? Don't you remember Cailida is my daughter too? She is OUR daughter Clarion."
"Let go of me now." She tried pulling away, so he released her from his hold.
"I'll check on Callie. You should go rest." He whispered after realizing how tired she must be, from taking care of Cailida and arguing.
"No. I am going to take care of Cailida." She walked away from him, leaving a heartbroken Milori behind.
"I'm going to go to the Ice Palace tonight since I can't care for either of you!" Milori shouted towards the nursery.
"You wouldn't dare!" Clarion called back. A few minutes later she walked back to the bedroom cradling their young daughter when she didn't hear a reply. As soon as she entered she sunk to the floor and started crying.
Milori had really left.
