Rick
Few words had passed between Rick and Michonne since they'd been in the church and he honestly had no idea how to interpret that. She'd kept her distance, only speaking when she deemed it necessary, which wasn't atypical but it bothered him. There was something in her eyes that was different and he wasn't quite sure what caused it. He hoped it wasn't him but he knew very well that it could be.
He watched her quietly glide through the front doors of the church while everyone gathered around the altar for a bite of breakfast. Suddenly he lost his appetite and opted to check in Michonne, at least that's how he convinced himself to follow. The door hadn't even completely closed behind her when he slipped through. She sat on the steps just out front, turning her attention towards him as he approached. He took a seat by her side and joined her in the silence of nature. The crisp air of the autumn morning welcomed the two of them as they sat staring at the falling leaves. Even in all this, after all they had been through there was still beauty in the world. It was a drastic contrast to the events leading up to even this brief moment of stillness.
"You alright," he finally asked, continuing to look forward. Looking people in the eyes was becoming increasingly difficult for him as of late. Especially the people he cared for. Honestly, he was never great at making eye contact when he felt things were unsettled, and at the moment things were a bit unsettled between Michonne and him.
"Yeah," she softly replied while picking at some weeds growing through the cracks of the steps.
"You don't seem alright," he observed. "I mean you just don't seem like yourself."
"Rick, I'm fine," she assured him. "Just working some things out in my mind. That's all."
She turned to look at him and their eyes connected briefly. He wanted to keep her gaze but he just couldn't, so he quickly turned his attention to the chipped paint on the wooden stairs and began to peel it away with the toe of his boot.
"Okay," he simply responded. He sat with her a little longer and enjoyed the bit of peace they had. The night before had been horrific. It was a relief to get rid of the threat but he always felt like a fragment of his soul died every time he had to take out another human being. Even if that human being would have easily taken his life and those he cared about. He didn't like his thoughts to linger on the things he had to do to keep his people and himself safe, so he cast them aside and returned his focus to Michonne.
"We haven't really talked about what happened back at the house," Rick started, his eyes squinting as the sun slowly made its way across the morning sky, shining bright through the trees.
"We don't have to," she contested. "At least not right now." She shook her head in disapproval of the talk Rick tried to engage her in. "You have a duty to your son and daughter and to these people who look to you for answers." She paused. "For guidance, reassurance. Hope. We can talk about what happened at a later time."
She turned her full attention to Rick and her face began to soften as a smile began to form on her lips. He couldn't help but stare at them. Those lips that spoke words of graceful intelligence. Those lips that allowed a little witty banter and sarcasm to escape at just the right time. They were so full, so beautiful.
"Times kinda a commodity these days," he rebutted, taking his attention away from her mouth. "Don't ya think."
"It is highly valued," she added. "And sometimes scarce. And we often don't know when it's going to be up. But right now, I think we have a little time. That conversation can wait," her voice trailed.
Rick clicked his tongue and smiled at her. The truth was he didn't want to wait but because she said so, he'd go along. She was probably right anyway. She was pretty much right all of the time.
Michonne, bracing herself against the railing, came to her feet, wincing just faintly.
"What's wrong with your arm," Rick asked concerned, shooting up to stand next to her in the case she needed his support.
"It's my shoulder," she rolled it backwards a tad, wincing as she moved it. "I think it's from the kick back of the guns," she chucked. "I'm no good with those things."
"I'll show you some tricks to help cushion the push back later on today."
She nodded in reply.
"Shouldn't have to worry about that too much now though," Rick acknowledged. "I saw you got your sword back."
Her face changed suddenly after the words left his mouth and met her ears and he immediately regretted what he just spoke. She turned her face down to stare at the steps below her boots and sighed heavily. Rick couldn't quite pinpoint what the look was. Maybe anger. Maybe despair but he could have kicked himself in the ass for bringing it up. She told him she didn't miss the sword and there it was back in her possession.
She looked up and stared at the side of his face. "You didn't do anything wrong by bringing up the sword," she began. He was sure a relief flooded his face at her words.
"Honestly, I was shocked that I got it back. Then I was scared."
"But why," he asked, staring at the side of her face as she examined the chipped stairs ahead of her.
"It's as if my past won't let me go," she confessed. "I desperately want to forget what was before but this world won't let me."
Listening to her speak, he wondered what pain she endured. Who did she lose to this world? What kept her at a distance from others for so long? It always piqued his curiosity but he dared not ask. She never brought up her past. Ever but now she's brought it up twice. She was private and if she wanted to share it with him, she would. Maybe someday. Until then, he'd be there to listen and if she needed anything beyond that, he'd be there for that too, just like she'd been there for Carl and him a thousand times before.
"I understand that," he agreed. They sat quietly a little longer, as the coolness of the air became uncomfortable. Michonne began to shiver a bit and rub her shoulders through the thin jacket.
"I know you do," she added.
"Come on," he urged, seeing her grow more agonized by the cool air. "You need to eat something."
"By the way," he added. "You were right. I think it's time for us to go. It's getting cramped in there and we're wearing our welcome. Gonna call a meeting later this morning to discuss logistics. You have any ideas?"
"I'll think about it and let you know before," she answered.
The two made their way through the doors and united with the others as breakfast commenced. Carl offered his father a bowl of something as Rick took a seat next to his son, watching Michonne depart from him to a seat next Sasha and Maggie.
"Is she alright," Carl immediately asked.
"Yeah," Rick eased into a conversation with his son. "She's just fine. Why you asking?"
"Just a little concerned," Carl offered before taking a big bite of what appeared to be oatmeal. "She's been quiet."
"I think she's working through some personal stuff, is all. She'll be alright."
"I know," Carl said assuredly. There was something between Michonne and Carl that Rick envied. She would have these long conversations with Carl and Rick sometimes wish he had an in to those conversations.
"Have you been talking to her," Carl added, snapping Rick away from his thoughts.
Rick hesitated before answering. The question troubled him because he knew he hadn't and he knew Carl was fully aware that he hadn't been talking to Michonne much. Despite knowing these facts, he answered his son anyway. "Not much. I'm not sure why though."
"You should start talking to her more," Carl suggested as he took another big bite. "She's actually really easy to talk to."
"Don't talk with your mouth full," Rick countered. "And I know that. I just don't know what to talk about sometimes. We cover most of the small talk topics. Food, shelter, ammo."
Carl laughed. "That's not small talk topics. That's a list of stuff we need."
Being called out by Carl, Rick had no choice but to join in on the laugh. It was sad really. He didn't know how to talk about anything else, especially topics that a woman would want to engage in. He felt like he lucked into the short conversation he had with her this morning.
"What ya'll laughing about," Daryl questioned as he came to join the two.
"Nothin'," Rick answered quickly.
"My dad is having problems talking t-."
"Carl," Rick cut him off.
"I already know. It's Michonne," Daryl alleged.
Rick rolled his eyes at the betrayal of his brother and son. "I'm not about to sit here and be bashed and accused by the two of you."
"Ain't no use in running away," Daryl started. "Besides, nobody else around here notices."
"Notices what exactly," Rick argued.
"It's just something I noticed when I hooked back up with ya'll before Terminus," Daryl added. "That's all. Ya'll seem different. Act different towards each other. Even more than when we were at the prison."
Rick looked at Carl. "You noticed something too?"
"Now that Daryl mentioned it," Carl added.
"You two are unbelievable," Rick stood up from his seat on the floor. "This conversation is over. Can we all meet in about an hour to discuss our next steps?"
"Yep," Daryl replied grinning at Carl as Rick walked away.
Michonne
"Why'd you leave right when we were getting ready to eat breakfast," Sasha asked, looking under eyed at Michonne as she drank water from her glass.
"I enjoy the crisp morning air," Michonne replied stirring her oatmeal with a spoon.
"Rick too," Maggie added.
Michonne dropped the spoon in her bowl, placed it on the floor between her bent legs and stared at the two young ladies sitting to the left and right of her. She was a grown woman and wasn't about to play fifty questions or be the center of their speculations. Not one to beat around the bush she replied to their questioning.
"What exactly are you two implying?"
"You don't cut to the chase do you," Sasha answered with a chuckle. "I like that."
Maggie had to laugh too. "We just noticed you leave and then Rick left shortly after you did."
"Really quickly after you, actually," Sasha added.
"And," Michonne began to interrogate them.
"And," Sasha began, "we were just curious to know what you two had up your sleeves."
"We were talking shop, if you must know," Michonne half lied. It was really none of their business but she suppose she would have been curious if she were on the outside looking in. They were both pretty private people and to see the two of them slip off from the rest of the group was a little suspect. "Rick thinks it's time to move on and look for some place more secure. More stable. We're gonna meet later this morning to discuss things as a group. He asked for my input."
Sasha and Maggie both shook their heads in agreement to her explanation.
"Does that answer meet your approval ladies," Michonne added with a smirk on her face.
"I'm afraid we don't have much of choice but approve," Maggie spoke.
"And I'm afraid you're right," Michonne smiled as she took a bit of cold oatmeal.
"We'll leave you be," Maggie added as the two young ladies left Michonne to herself.
She thought about what Rick asked as she continued eating. They really did need to talk about what happened but she just didn't feel now was the right time. They had just escaped that horrible place, killed some horrible people and rescued Beth from a horrible fate. They definitely didn't need to add any additional stuff to what they had going on at the moment.
Looking up from her bowl, she noticed Rick staring at her, a rather pensive look on his face. He really needed to stop doing that. It apparently was being noticed by everyone except him that he was staring at her and in fact often. She needed him to look past their situation and look ahead. He was their leader and she didn't want to be the reason he appeared unfocused, though it seemed he was doing an okay job of keeping it professional so to speak, until as of late.
Michonne came to her feet and carried the empty bowl to the table in front of the pulpit, taking a stand in front of Rick. The sunlight shown through the stained glass windows, splattering Rick's face with a rainbow of color. It made her smile, taking her back to a time where things were simpler. When she could really relish and enjoy the little beautiful things about life. He stared back at her, kept her gaze and smiled, something he never did. It caught her off guard honestly. She wrapped her long arms low across her stomach before she began to speak to him.
"You've got to stop staring," Michonne began, her smile fading into a more serious line.
Rick looked puzzled. "Staring? At what? I'm not staring."
"Maggie and Sasha noticed," Michonne affirmed. "You've got to stop."
"I don't mean to," Rick added scratching at his beard. He did that sometimes when he was nervous she observed. She made him nervous. He did it almost every time they spoke. Except this morning. He didn't do it this morning, which she found odd.
"Let's make a deal," Michonne declared, trying to find a happy medium for the both of them.
"I- I don't like deals," Rick drawled, a small smile creeping in. "But I'll hear ya out."
"We can talk about what happened once we get to our new destinati-."
"No deal," Rick broke in.
"What," Michonne argued. "Why not?"
"What if we don't make it to our destination," he countered, looking at her with rather serious eyes. They were even more blue than usual. That was probably another indication that she was making him nervous. His breathing seemed more rapid than before too. Was he getting upset?
"You're just borrowing trouble now," she accused.
"Am I," he challenged. "We've been lucky to get as far as we have. If it wasn't for Carol we wouldn't be where we are now. If it wasn't for you I'd be dead. We don't have time Michonne."
"I'm aware of all of that," she agreed, hugging herself a little tighter than before. His aggression was getting to her a bit. He really needed to hash their stuff out.
"Then how about we talk about it once we get on the road," he recommended.
"There's no privacy while we're moving," she argued.
"We can find it," he contended. "No need to waste more time."
"Fine," she finally agreed.
"I'm glad that's settled," Rick announced victoriously as he made his way to the front of the table. She sneered a bit at his arrogance. He thought he actually won that debate but the truth was she gave in. She could have cross-examined the shit out of him if she wanted to but she'd save that for another time.
Michonne started to make her way to gather the rest of the group when Rick reached out and lightly grabbed her arm. He whistled to summon Daryl to join the two of them and began to discuss their next plan of action with the rest of his people.
A/N: I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Lots of exciting things are to come. Let me know your thoughts! :)
