A/N: I wasn't planning on making another chapter because it was a one-shot. I got to thinking, what about a list of things Alec isn't allowed to do during holidays. So here you go. It's probably not as funny as the first one.
Since Isabelle was still under medical care, due to the attack. The poison in her veins had kicked back in, so Magnus had to heal her. Alec had vanished again.
Probably to screw some woman. Magnus thought bitterly has he and Clary poked around in the library, hoping to find another list of things Alec isn't allowed to do.
Clary found a sheet of paper that's stapled to another sheet of paper.
"Hey, I found something." Clary said and Magnus was instantly at her side.
It was titled: Things Alec Isn't Allowed To Do: Holiday Edition
Really? There's a holiday edition? –Alec
Yes. –Maryse
Fine. –Alec
1. Alec isn't allowed to hide plastic eggs in the backyard, wake up Isabelle and Max and have them search for them at four in the morning.
Those were buried. Under three feet of snow. Covered with a tarp. Covered with broken glass and bricks. –Isabelle
By the way, you haven't found the other two. –Alec
2. Alec isn't allowed near the eggnog in the grocery aisle.
3. Alec isn't allowed near the eggnog at the Christmas parties.
I don't need another repeat of the 'Bathroom Incident.' -Maryse
4. Alec isn't allowed near the fireworks.
5. Alec isn't allowed to have 'tracers.'
6. Alec isn't allowed near 'AK-47s'.'
7. Alec isn't allowed to shoot off AK-47s with tracers.
Even though that was actually awesome. -Robert
8. Alec isn't allowed to make bottle rockets.
9. Alec isn't allowed to be outside during Halloween.
Hey. That wasn't my fault. –Alec
Yes it was. –Robert
But it was free candy. –Alec
Still. –Maryse
10. Alec isn't allowed to knock out Jace and dress him up as Baby New Year.
11. Alec isn't allowed to give people expired chocolate.
12. Alec isn't allowed to pour melted chocolate in our drawers.
13. Alec isn't allowed to reenact the Boston Tea Party during Thanksgiving.
Why not? –Alec
That didn't take place during Thanksgiving! –Isabelle
So? What day am I supposed to dress up like an Native American? Easter? –Alec
14. Alec isn't allowed to bring home a woman of supernatural origins on Valentine's Day.
That includes a 'normal person.' –Maryse
Ruin my fun will you? –Alec
Yes I will. –Maryse
15. Alec isn't allowed to bring home a woman of supernatural origins on St. Patrick's Day, in hopes of getting lucky because it's St. Patrick's Day.
Well, you didn't say St. Patrick's Day. –Alec
We're saying it now. –Robert
16. Alec isn't allowed to go as himself during Halloween.
17. Alec isn't allowed to run into our rooms and throw figgy pudding at us, to wake us up.
18. Alec isn't allowed to catch the Christmas trees on fire, for science.
19. Alec isn't allowed to wrap Isabelle, Max, or Jace up in garland and then attach them to the wall in a reenactment of 'the Crucifix.'
You guys suck then. -Alec
20. Alec isn't allowed to call off a hunt due to it being a 'Holiday' and that he needs a 'day-off.'
Well I do. -Alec
21. Alec isn't allowed to shoot some woman with an arrow in hopes of getting her to fall in love with him.
22. Alec isn't allowed near women during Valentine's Day.
Alec isn't allowed near women at all. Period. –Maryse
What? You guys want me to die alone? –Alec
That's not what I meant. –Maryse
23. Alec isn't allowed in bars during St. Patrick's Day.
Alec isn't allowed in bars. Period. –Robert
24. Alec isn't allowed to invite the Seelie Queen in his room during Valentine's Day.
Or St. Patrick's Day. –Maryse
Or every day. –Robert
Alec isn't allowed near the Seelie Queen. Period. –Maryse
Seriously? You all want me to die alone or something? –Alec
25. Alec isn't allowed to hold fireworks while lighting them.
Nobody isn't supposed to hold the fireworks while lighting them. –Jace
26. Alec isn't allowed to throw fireworks into crowds.
Nobody isn't allowed to do that. –Izzy
27. Alec isn't allowed to have Chinese fireworks.
Nobody isn't allowed to have Chinese fireworks. –Jace
28. Alec isn't allowed to shoot off 'bottle rockets.'
Seriously? How does he know how to make this stuff? –Robert
That's for me to know and for you to find out. –Alec
29. Alec isn't allowed to dress up like the Grim Reaper and stand on the highway and point at cars.
Isn't that illegal? –Izzy
30. Alec isn't allowed to dress up like Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees or Chucky.
You all take away the good stuff. –Alec
31. Alec isn't allowed to convince Isabelle to dress up like the Wicked Witch and throw water on her to see if she 'melts'.
32. Alec isn't allowed to make Jace dress up like cupid.
33. Alec isn't allowed to dress up like a leprechaun.
34. Alec isn't allowed to convince Max or Isabelle that they're on the 'naughty list' by saying that he is friends with Santa Claus.
35. Alec isn't allowed to make a fake rabbit and cover it with blood, and tell little kids that he slayed the 'Easter Bunny' to see their reactions.
That's messed up. –Jace
Really messed up. –Maryse
"That really is messed up." Clary said. Magnus had to agree with that.
36. Alec isn't allowed to use the tubes of Christmas wrapping paper to sword-fight.
37. Alec isn't allowed to use the giant candy canes to sword-fight with.
38. Alec isn't allowed near Christmas decorations.
39. Alec isn't allowed to go near the Christmas lights.
40. Alec isn't allowed to pour whip cream on us to stimulate melted snow.
41. Alec isn't allowed to throw snowballs in the Institute.
42. Alec isn't allowed to say the following:
1. Okay, this is like the Last Supper, who dies first? I nominate Jace.
Why does Alec have a grudge against me? What did I do? –Jace.
2. Since I'm Irish, would you come with to my place?
3. I know what we should do for *insert your choice of holiday*
4. Let's reenact the Death of John Wilkes Booth.
5. I nominate Jace as John Wilkes Booth.
6. Deck the 'Balls'
7. Can we put Jace up as a Halloween decoration?
8. Can we crucifix Jace?
Clary and Magnus looked at each other.
"What did Jace do that caused Alec to hate him?" Magnus asked.
"No. Alec had a crush on Jace." Clary said, a little confused.
They went back to reading the list.
9. If Jace dies, can we make it a holiday?
What did I do? –Jace
10. Hey Jace. Go to talk to some little kids.
11. Hey Jace. Let's reenact the shower scene in Psycho.
12. Due to Valentine's Day, we should sacrifice someone to make Cupid happy. I nominate Jace.
13. To protect ourselves from the ghosts of Halloween, we need a sacrifice. I nominate Jace.
14. We should throw Jace to the leprechauns on St. Patrick's Day.
15. Hey, let's have a sword fight with *insert your choice of Christmas decoration*
16. Let me jingle your bells.
17. I hope that jingled your bells.
18. Can I wrap this garland around you?
19. Ho ho ho. Bitch.
20. Since we're both on the nice list, can we act naughty one time? Together? I prefer with me on top.
21. Can I take you for a sleigh ride?
22. Let's have some fun in the snow.
23. Let it snow!
24. Did grandma ever get run over by a reindeer?
25. I want you to get run over by a reindeer Jace.
26. Go get run over by a reindeer Jace.
27. Jace should dress up like the New Year's Eve baby. He already acts like it.
"Seriously. Why does Alec hate Jace so much?" Magnus asked.
"The douche bag stole my girlfriend. Probably on purpose too." Alec said and he grabbed the list from Clary's hands.
"I thought you had a crush on him." Clary said.
"No. I was just glaring at him because I hated him. I still hate him." Alec said.
"You slept with ten women? Possibly the Seelie Queen." Clary said.
"It's called bisexuality. Did you hear of it?" Alec said. He turned to leave.
"Did you sleep with the Seelie Queen?" Magnus said.
"You probably did." Alec said going to the door. "Besides that's for my family to know and for you to find out."
Clary rolled her eyes and turned around. The next thing she knew was that she got hit in the small of her back with something hard. The thing clattered to the ground.
"Booya!" Alec shouted in victory. "I win."
"Goddamn it Alec! What did we say?" Maryse shouted from somewhere in the Institute.
Alec mumbled something as he left the library.
Magnus picked up the rock and looked at it. "Oh. So that's what 'Booya' is."
A/N: Like I said, I wasn't on planning to make this a two-shot, but I got to thinking about the stuff my older brother Eddie was talking about yesterday when we were watching the fireworks. But then this came out of it.
He was talking about the AK-47, the tracers, and the AK-47 with tracers.
My other older brother David was talking about how the fireworks would've been launched into the crowd to make it like 'Wrestlemania 24 all over again' and then throw fireworks into the crowd.
Now you know why Alec hates Jace. But this is my fanon, not the canon.
Happy Fourth of July.
