The Sun Comes Down
Summary: Thoughts, from Sasuke's point of view, of his need for Naruto. This happens after they fought each other for Konoha.
Did I kill you? Was it my hand the one to separate you from life? Are your blue eyes lost in the infinite time of not coming back? Can you open them? Can you hear me? Are you still there? If I had to force myself into it, I would say no. You are not alive. There must be one reason why I can see you. Open your eyes, prove me wrong. You stay.
I have never minded dying. I might even die happy if it was you who sent me here. It would be such an honor. It would be so sweet and peaceful. I might even go to Heaven or be allowed to return my spirit to the world. If I had died, if I did die, I would have wanted to die for you. It is fine if you made me pass away. It would be so comforting.
Have you ever feared death? I almost never did, for I was always dead in a way. The only day I started to fear death was that one, years ago, when I thought my vision would crumble. I was certain it would fall to pieces, little, insignificant pieces that I would never be able to put together again. I could see you fall. I could see your face, relaxed, cold, composed.
It was unbearable. From that instant, I feared death. It was so much pain. I was so sick, so scared, so angered. I could not bear the pain. I could not breathe. The air was so frighteningly cold, you were so still. You did not move. It was desperate. Like my actions. What I did was so desperate. I never told you a lie when you asked about Haku. I needed your being with all my might, and more. I would have never lied about this. You realize it is too strong, too big, too scary. More powerful than life itself.
If you could ask now, and I could answer to you, I would not be able to change my reply. It is true that I wanted to do it, and I would have gladly done it out of a conscious decision. However, there is something more to your presence than there is to anyone else's. It is precious. It would be a sin if it were not for its incredible beauty. You know about beauty. It falls from the ecstasy in your eyes as if it were a waterfall. Such presence, such heavenly sin, means more to life itself than just time.
I would have not been able, ever, to do it by myself. Maybe Nature, or God, took charge of me. As I felt my muscles work, and tried to adjust my mind to the world, it simply, yet miraculously, happened. It did out of nowhere, for it was too fast for mind, or heart even, to notice. However it did not matter, once I stood before you. It did not hurt. It was not bad. My face did not, but my soul was smiling. I could not stop smiling, when I bid you goodbye.
"My body moved on its own."
I was wondering, without any expectations, if I would be put to rest. That, or sent back to the world, in the form of an insect. Despite the fact that I was in peace, I wished just one thing. Who would not, having caught a glimpse of Mount Olympus, have the feel, or need, to stay for a while?
I required your sunshine of a stare. My chest broke down from the lack of your touch. My head hurt because it seeked for warmth, and everything felt cold nonetheless. I could no longer subsist without you. So the wish became a requirement, and the requirement became a need. Whoever is in charge gave me another chance to get what I need. It turns out that against my will, I badly needed you until the very end.
"You're still coming back... with me."
So now, after Konoha, after life, after us; now that I rest next to you, cold and chestbroken, I wonder. Will I get another chance, to maybe one day, tell you how things really are?
AND HERE, I REPLY TO MY ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS:
Art rocs: So you hugged me? Well I'm glomping you! *Glomps you, energetically* I am so happy to know I get you! That means you get me too, and if we get each other, maybe someone out there gets us too, which means that someone is Kishimoto-dono and you know, maybe we could talk him into stop this drama and have a hot yaoi-explicit ending to Shippuuden! OMS, that would be so friggin AMAZING! Ok, better stop daydreaming now that we still can... thank you very much for writing that! You made me so happy! Here, take this Sasuke plushie as a sign of gratitude and glompiness. Yeah I'm a glomp fan.
Nagareboshi: Thank you very much! It was the same with me! but... well, I kind of feel like I think more like Naruto at times, heh. *Scratches the back of her neck in a very Narutoish way* Thanks for stopping by! ;)
