ii. The Middle of the Beginning

"Happy Birthday Erwin."

Levi whirls and gapes at him.

Erwin doesn't seem to notice as he politely smiles at Ian. "Thank you."

"The squad is throwing you a party in the lounge and everything."

There's a twitch at Erwin's brow. "Is that so?"

Ian smirks. "Yeah, they've got a whole pack of booze too. I might just check it out later."

The muscle in Erwin's jaw flexes, and Levi thinks that his smile seems strained. "Feel free to drink as much as you want."

And then after patting Erwin on the shoulder, Ian leaves.

"You don't want to celebrate your birthday?" Levi questions. He doesn't understand. Most people enjoy celebrating their birthdays. Personally, Levi has never had the experience so he can't really say whether or not it's enjoyable.

"I don't like parties," Erwin says. "They're more trouble than they're worth." Then Erwin sighs and looks down at Levi. "In any case, we might as well get this over with. After all, it only happens once a year." Then under his breath he adds, "Good thing too…"

It seems like all of the Stationary Guards from the district are there, and they all cheer for Erwin and hand him small packages. Levi knows that they must be gifts, and suddenly he feels like he should give something to Erwin too, although he doesn't know why he feels that way. It's not like he cares about Erwin. Because of him, Levi will have to fight in the name of humanity for the rest of his life. But then again, if it weren't for Erwin he probably wouldn't be alive right now either.

"Hey, Levi."

Levi turns and Erwin is at his level. He holds out something small, round, and dark in color in the palm of his hand. Levi stares at it without comprehending what it is.

"You're supposed to eat it."

Levi's brows pull together suspiciously. "I'll pass."

Erwin holds it up to his mouth. "Just try it."

The strong scent is strange. Levi has never smelled something like this before. He doesn't know how to describe it, but his mouth waters as a physiological response from the bizarre aroma, so he opens his mouth and Erwin pops it inside.

Whatever it is, it's soft and melts on Levi's tongue, and it has a sweet taste. He slowly chews and swallows as Erwin watches him closely. When the sweet flavor tinges Levi's taste buds, his eyes noticeably spark, and Erwin can tell he likes it no matter how much effort he puts into trying to conceal it— that one look betrays him.

"Did you like it?" he asks even though he already knows the answer.

Levi glances away. "…What was it?"

"It's called chocolate." He holds out a larger bar of chocolate and splits it in half. "Here, you can have the other half."

Levi hesitantly takes it. "Was it a present?"

Erwin nods, and Levi tries to hand it back to him. "It's not meant for me then. It's for you."

Erwin holds Levi's hand and deliberately encloses Levi's fingers around the bar. With a kind smile he says, "I want you to have it."

The look in Erwin's eyes is too sincere for Levi; he can't keep the eye contact and looks away. "Thanks."

Erwin ruffles his hair and straightens up when someone calls his name.

"Drink up, birthday boy," says some woman Levi doesn't recognize as she thrusts a bottle into Erwin's hands.

Erwin laughs and Levi thinks he seems too friendly with this woman. Since when did Erwin interact so freely with others? Erwin always seemed cold and reserved but today, he's smiling and seems to be enjoying himself. Is it because it's his birthday?

Erwin and the woman clank their bottles together and take long gulps. They must have made a toast to something and Levi missed out on what they said. He doesn't care, but Levi can't help noticing the way the woman's eyes brighten and scope out Erwin as she gulps down her drink like he's a piece of meat. Idiot woman… Doesn't she realize Erwin isn't interested in others?

"Hey, you little delinquent, how about you join in on the fun too?" Ian offers Levi a cup filled to the brim with fizzing liquor.

"No, Ian, he's underage," Erwin scolds, automatically snatching the cup from out of his hand.

"I used to drink all the time," Levi counters bitterly. He can handle his alcohol just as well as any of these men around here. He might be young and small but he's definitely not a lightweight.

"I knew it," Ian says, taking the cup from Erwin. "He's one of us."

He hands the cup to Levi and he gingerly takes it, shooting daring looks at Erwin, but Erwin merely quirks a thick brow at him.

Levi brings the cup to his mouth but before he chugs it down Erwin says, "You do know alcohol stunts growth, right?"

And Levi freezes.

A snort bursts from Ian and he slaps Levi on the shoulder. "Leave him alone, Erwin," he chides with a grin. "He's just messing with you."

Levi turns a cheek and scoffs. "I knew that."

The corners of Erwin's mouth pull up into a small smirk. "But really, I can't allow you to drink alcohol. I could lose my job."

"As if you would actually be fired," the woman laughs. Levi had almost forgotten she was still there. "You're irreplaceable." And there's a sparkle in her eye that annoys Levi for some reason.

"I don't think he's that important," Levi mutters.

Ian throws his head back in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, and Erwin tugs on Levi's ear.

"Nobody asked you."

"Ow!" Levi growls, knocking Erwin's hand away.

"He's the most respected sergeant of the Stationary Guard," the woman says with a deep frown.

Levi gives a casual shrug. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

The woman is clearly annoyed with the way Levi speaks about Erwin. "You should be honored to be under his care."

Levi's face darkens. The buoyant atmosphere around them abruptly ends and it's suddenly tense. This woman doesn't have a goddamn clue about him. "Honored? You think I should feel honored to be here? I have to live my life fighting for people I don't give a damn about. I'm not honored about anything."

The woman's mouth clamps shut with an audible snap and she jabs a sharpened fingernail at him. "Well, you know what? No one gives a damn about you either. Trash will always be trash."

Levi's hands clench into tight fists and the muscles ripple up his forearms. As if sensing his urge to hit this woman, Erwin rests a hand on his shoulder and keeps him still.

"That's enough. You've gone too far, Penn."

The woman gapes at Erwin in bewildered shock. "I've gone too far? Did you not hear what that brat just said about you?"

Erwin is cold as he speaks to her. "I heard every word. And he's right."

Levi's eyes drop to the floor.

"He doesn't have anything to be grateful for. He's merely a pawn for humanity to use."

Levi's teeth grind together and he can't bear to listen anymore. He turns on his heel and leaves. He's out the door then blindly heading down the hall. He finds himself outside. The cool night breeze rustles through his hair, cooling the sweat that has beaded at his hairline. He feels sick to his stomach. That woman was right. He really is trash... No one gives a damn about a delinquent kid.

He walks around the side of the building and presses his back against the cold brick. For a while there, he actually believed that he belonged here, that he belonged by Erwin's side. He was a fool to believe he could belong anywhere but in the slums where trash belongs. He angrily slams the back of his fist into the wall, his flesh scuffing away. Why didn't that bastard just kill him that day? Why didn't he let that judge whip him to death? Why did he save him?

"What are you doing out here?"

Levi doesn't look up at Erwin but he senses him approach. He feels a tall body lean against the wall next to him. "Are you alright?"

The only response is silence.

"Don't listen to what other people say. They don't understand your situation."

Levi laughs blackly. "Because only trash can understand trash, right?"

Erwin whirls. "Levi, you're not trash."

Levi scowls, finally looking up at Erwin. "I'm not like you. I'm not like any of you." And his voice is cold and impassive, "I'm not here by choice. I'm not here to try and redeem humanity's honor or some bullshit like that. I'm just…" Levi's eyes fall and he turns quiet, "…a pawn."

Erwin looks at him in silence for a long time, and then he bends low, becoming eye level with Levi. He tucks a finger under his chin, pulling his eyes to his. "Your life isn't your own anymore. You will serve as humanity's soldier until you die. So yes, you are a pawn, but as a pawn you play a fundamental role in this world. Humanity needs a soldier to fight unconditionally without any sense of fear. And you will be that soldier, do you understand?"

Levi doesn't answer.

"And I will always be by your side."

Levi's eyes widen a fraction, and Erwin gives him a small smile. "You're my responsibility, alright?"

Levi moves from out of Erwin's grip with a sigh. "Yeah..."


"Team Runt versus Team Darius," Keith announces.

Levi's team heads to the starting line. Today they are racing through an obstacle course using their maneuvering gear. Teams go two at a time and compete to finish first. The team that reins supreme over all the rest is exempt from endurance training for the day and is allowed to leave early. Levi's team is competing for first place against one other team. This is the final race.

The team they are competing against is headed by Darius, the asshole that insists on harassing Levi at every chance he gets. Darius has improved, just as they all have, but he still has a long way to go before he's at Levi's level.

"Look at Darius, he's shooting daggers at you, Levi," says Wesley with a snicker. "Man, he really doesn't like you."

Levi shrugs.

"He's obsessed, I think he might actually be in love," Jan teases.

"I think it's so mean! He's always giving you trouble. Don't let him get to you," Shanni adds with her bottom lip jutted out in an angry pout.

Levi disregards their comments. "Focus. We need to figure out the simplest way through the course. Rafa, did you check our gear? Are we in good shape or should we refill our gas tanks?"

"We've got plenty of gas."

"Good. Listen closely."

Levi draws a path through the course; the one he thinks will be the quickest and simplest way possible. He's quiet so the other team can't listen in and when he's through, his team regards him with firm determination lining their brows and jaws set tight. Levi likes the fiery looks in their eyes. He actually believes they can face anything as long as they work together.

"Alright teams, set your mark!"

Levi's team lines up and Darius's team follows.

"Hey, don't slip up," Darius sneers from beside Levi.

"Worried about me?"

Darius scoffs bitterly. "Yeah, I feel bad. I don't know how you can see past the starting line from way down there." And he towers over Levi, looking down from the corner of his eye at him, but Levi's eyes are straightforward in a deadpan.

"Your pathetic attempts at insulting me are shameful."

The whistle blows and they both shoot off. Levi is quickly in the lead and his team is close behind. Darius's team decided to take a different route and the distance between the two teams increases. Victory is just at Levi's fingertips when suddenly Shanni cries out.

He whips around and sees her flailing body plummeting to the ground. Without any hesitation, he turns and hurtles toward her. He snatches her from out of the air before she can hit the ground and safely lands. Shanni holds tight to his neck, and he can feel her heart racing in her chest from the sudden fall.

"What happened?" he demands.

Shanni is breathless as she shakes her head. "I-I don't know!"

There are shouts overhead. Darius's team is celebrating their win, but Levi couldn't care less about that.

He inspects Shanni and makes sure she's not injured. "Are you okay?"

She nods. The rest of Levi's team is there.

"What the hell happened?"

"Check her gear."

Rafa is on his knees, fingers scaling over every inch of her equipment and then he freezes. "Her gas tank is empty."

"What? I thought you said we all had plenty of gas left?"

Rafa nods his head. "We did! I swear I checked, and all of our tanks were over halfway filled."

Levi kneels beside Rafa and inspects the tanks alongside him.

"I promise she had enough gas when we started," Rafa insists in a low voice.

"I believe you." Levi ducks low and his hands deliberately feel over the cylindrical gas tanks on the sides. His fingers snag on something sharp at the corner and he picks at it. When it comes loose, he brings it close to his face.

"A dart?" It's a small, almost imperceptible blow dart.

"Someone must have lodged it into Shanni's tank when we weren't looking!" Wesley exclaims.

Levi nods and he thinks he knows just who it was.

"It was Darius, wasn't it?" Shanni quietly says, voicing the exact name they all had on their minds.

"There's no doubt it was that asshole!" Jan snarls, his hands clenching into fists. "I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

Levi grabs his wrists and stops him short. "Don't. It's pointless fighting him. He doesn't give up."

"Then what the hell do we do?"

Levi is calm and composed as he replies, "We do nothing."

"You're just gonna let him walk all over you, Levi?"

They all stare at him. They all want him to do something, it's clear. But Levi won't do anything right now. Not when his team is involved. Darius could have seriously injured Shanni so he'll confront Darius on his own.

"I'll take care of it."


Erwin finds Ian in the lounge.

"Hey Ian, do you mind picking up Levi from training today? I've been called on a mission. It shouldn't be too difficult so I'll be back later in the night."

"Sure, sure," Ian replies with a distracted wave of his hand.

"Thanks." And Erwin leaves to prepare.

Levi approaches Darius. "We need to talk," he says.

A sour sneer twists Darius's face and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Feeling sore about losing?"

Levi's stoic attitude doesn't change. "Meet me after training." He leaves without sparing him a second glance.

Because Darius's team won the race, his team was let out early and Levi can only hope that Darius decided to stick around until the rest of them have been released. Levi heads out the gate, and right as he's outside the training grounds, Darius is at his side. Neither one speaks for a moment.

"Follow me," Levi says in a low voice.

Darius follows and they walk together to an abandon alleyway. About midway down Levi stops and turns on his heel to face Darius.

"You punctured Shanni's gas tank."

Darius visibly stiffens then crosses his arms with an unkind smirk. "You can't prove that."

Levi's eyes are cold and narrowed critically. "No, I can't, but I know it was you."

Darius gives a shrug. "What'cha gonna do about it?"

The glare on Levi's face deepens. "You can hassle me all you want but involving others is low. I knew you were pathetic but I didn't think you were that pathetic."

Darius snorts but he doesn't say anything.

"What the hell do you want from me?" Levi demands, taking a step forward. "I haven't done anything to you."

Darius hisses between grit teeth and his face twists with black hatred. "You humiliated me!" he snarls. "And I want to repay the favor."

Suddenly, they aren't alone anymore. Darius's team is with them and they circle around Levi. Levi's eyes dart from one face to the next. He holds himself a little higher, his arms falling slack at his sides.

"Fine. Do what you want."

Darius's eyes slit in suspicion. "What? You're not going to fight back?"

Levi's voice is dull and steady. "This is the only opportunity you'll ever get. Take it or leave it."

And then a wide, cruel smile breaks across Darius's face and he unleashes a chilling cackle. "I never took you as the masochistic type." Darius clutches tightly onto Levi's jaw and forces his face upward so that he has to stretch onto his toes. "I'll thoroughly enjoy myself as I beat into you."

They move in on Levi with predatory glints sparking in their dark eyes.


"You're squad members of Levi's right?" Ian asks.

The two boys nod.

"Have you seen him?"

They look at each other for a moment before replying. "Yeah, he already left."

"Oh really? Hmm, alright thanks for your help." Ian feels a little guilty. He had forgotten about Levi and so he was late picking him up. But Levi isn't helpless. He can take care of himself. So, Ian heads back to headquarters without another thought about the kid.

Levi staggers down the old alley, slowly passing by dark buildings on either sides of him. Those bastards bruised him up quite a bit. There's a painful stitch in his side that snags on every breath, and his elbows and knees are all scratched up. He gasps for air and blood drips from his arms and legs as his feet drag forward. This isn't the first time he's gotten the shit beaten out of him. He's had his fair share of defeats. But never has he willingly let a group of guys pound into him like that. And they didn't hold back either.

"Shit…" he hisses through his teeth and spits out a mouthful of blood. At this rate, he'll never make it back to headquarters. Where is Erwin anyway? He normally picks him up right after training. Did he forget about him?

The hairs on the back of Levi's neck suddenly prickle and he hears muffled footsteps behind him. Someone is trying to sneak up on him but Levi isn't easy to take off guard, not even in the lowly state that he's currently in is he someone to be messed with. He whirls around and kicks this person in the gut, but he has too many injuries as it is. He isn't in any condition to fight—his ankle gives and he falls.

The man he kicked is wheezing for breath and has an arm wrapped around his torso. "Little bastard fucking kicked me," he cries in a mix of anger and bewildered shock.

There are two of them, and the man Levi hadn't kicked snickers. "He's a feisty fellow ain't he?"

Levi uses all the strength he has left to pull himself to his feet— he sways a little but at least he's standing. He looks at these guys. He vaguely recognizes one of them, although the guy probably doesn't recognize Levi. Levi was always careful to conceal his identity when meeting with other convicts. The one he kicked had once wanted to do business with Levi back when Levi had been smuggling money and goods from the inner wall. But this man hadn't been in the same line of work as Levi. He sold women as sex toys to clergymen, and Levi refused to get involved in that sort of thing. He didn't agree with selling people like livestock.

"He looks like he's gonna collapse, huh. Looks like someone got tuh him 'fore we did."

"That just makes our job easier. We'll sell him to those noble perverts deep in the capital."

Levi stiffens. What did that bastard just say?

"But he ain't very pretty, he's all scarred up. Don't think he'll be worth much."

"Trust me, there's always someone willing to pay."

Levi needs to get out of here but his feet won't budge. His knees tremble under his weight. And then he's grabbed by one of the men. He jerks in an attempt to free himself and his arm is twisted uncomfortably to the side. Levi tries to move from out of the tight hold, but he's bent further out of shape and it hurts.

"Keep him still, will you?"

He's held so tightly that his ribs crunch into his lungs. Then something sharp is stuck into the underbelly of his elbow. He turns his head to see what it is. It's a syringe filled with some kind of fluid and all of that fluid is shot up Levi's veins. It burns like hell but he's too tired to even make a sound. A few seconds pass, and shortly he feels unbelievably light like he could just float away.

His body slacks against the men's holds and he's carried into one of the empty townhouses around the corner. He's placed on the wooden floor as the men talk above him. He can hear their voices but he can't make out words, everything is muffled inside his head. His skull feels heavy, his thoughts are fuzzy, and he feels unbearably hot.

"Check the merchandise and estimate a price."

"Roger."

Hands are on Levi and they swiftly rip apart his shirt and pull his lifeless arms from out of the sleeves. Levi is breathing hard. His chest hurts from the banging of his heart and his body won't move. He feels like he's drowning. Rough fingers run along his sides and lift him up for a second then settle him back on the floor.

"He's gotta' decent body type. He's small but he's fuckin' stacked with muscle."

"Good, that means he won't be easily broken. Normally the small ones don't last very long. Check what 'class' he is."

A snicker comes from the guy looming over Levi. "My favorite part."

He tugs at Levi's trousers and even through the fog in Levi's head, he knows what's happening. With every ounce of strength that he has in his drained body, he wrenches away and punches the guy in the face. The guy yelps and then slams Levi's wrists above his head.

"This little fucker's too strong. No client'll be able tuh handle 'im."

"Here, use this."

And then another needle is shoved into Levi's arm. Fire rushes into his veins again and he grits his teeth. His heart beats even faster and he wants to scream out.

"For such a small bastard, he's got a high tolerance."

The guy is messing with Levi's pants again and he feels fingers at his lower back slip underneath his waistband. He's never felt this helpless before. Once Levi can move again, he'll definitely kill them all. And he'll enjoy every precious moment of it.

From out of nowhere, there's a loud bang that pierces Levi's head. It's too loud. And the man that had been touching him is gone. There's the sound of shuffling feet and a struggle, curses and then it's quiet again.

"Levi?"

Levi knows that voice. He tries to move but his muscles are too heavy. He struggles to fight the force of gravity working against every muscle fiber in his body but it's useless. He can't do it.

"Isn't that the delinquent kid? Don't tell me he's involved himself in kidnapping and sex trade now."

Erwin gently takes Levi's head in his hands and examines his face. Levi's eyes are unfocused and half-lidded, and his cheeks are flushed bright with color.

"Dammit," he growls. He glares at the two men they have cuffed together. "Which one of you did this?"

The two don't reply and then Erwin is on his feet, fisting both of their collars in each of his hands. "I'll kill you both if one of you doesn't speak up."

And then they start accusing each other and making up offbeat excuses. Erwin throws them both to the ground and lands a boot hard on each of their stomachs. They groan and wheeze pathetically.

"I lied. I'm going to kill the both of you anyway." His foot raises over one of their skulls.

"Erwin! Don't!"

But he doesn't stop, his foot comes slamming down and he feels the crunch of the guy's skull beneath his boot. It shatters. Blood and brains pool at his feet. The other guy unleashes a bloodcurdling scream and desperately tries to move away from the corpse, but he's still chained to it. The other guard almost turns over and retches at the sight, but restrains himself.

"Erwin! You can't just kill witnesses!" he shouts with a green tint to his face.

Erwin is stony and merciless as he replies. "We only need one." And then he returns to Levi's side.

He squats down and buttons up his shirt. He's all bruised up and deathly still. A black glare twists Erwin's face and his teeth gnash together as he picks up Levi and carries him away.

When they're back in their room, he lays Levi down on his bunk. He's not sure what kind of drugs are in Levi's system and he's worried Levi's body won't be able to handle the toxin—he's such a small kid. All Erwin can do is let it run its course and hope Levi can fight it off. He's strong so he knows he can do it.

"…unng."

Erwin twists around to check on Levi.

His eyelids twitch and then they slowly break open. His sharp eyes slowly focus on Erwin. "…it's hot." He tugs at the blankets around him and pulls them off. Then he's yanking at his clothes and Erwin stops him.

"You've been drugged."

Levi pauses. "I know that." And he sounds as coherent and detached as he normally does, but his face is still red and his eyes are still cloudy so the drugs still haven't flushed out completely.

"I want to take a cold bath," he says. And he tries to sit up but then suddenly lurches over the side of the bed and dry heaves. He has nothing in his stomach so nothing comes out.

Without warning, Erwin is cradling him against his chest and Levi gasps in shock.

"Put me down!" he protests, but Erwin doesn't listen as he carries Levi to the washroom.

He turns on the water and the bath quickly fills. Levi is breathing hard, his chest rises and falls at a pace much too quickly to be safe.

"Levi, you have to calm your breathing."

Levi shakes his head and claws at his chest, right over his heart. His teeth clench and his eyes are pained slits. "I can't, my heart is beating too fast." He groans and hunches over with his head between his knees.

Erwin kneels in front of him and takes Levi's face in his hands. "Breathe slowly."

Levi stares into his steel, blue irises and forces a deep slow breath that expands his shoulders. A wince flashes across his face. He's still bruised up from the fight with Darius so his breath snags.

"There…"

Levi's breathing is even, but his body still feels like it's burning. He rips off his shirt and pants, and is too distracted to feel a shade of embarrassment from being stark naked in front of Erwin.

"They beat you to a bloody pulp," Erwin observes with an icy chill in his deep voice, scanning over Levi's busted up body.

Erwin's strong arms are around Levi and he settles him down in the cold bath. Instantly, Levi relaxes in the water and closes his eyes. He feels a little better. For a long time, Erwin doesn't say anything as he watches Levi. When Levi's eyes open again, he realizes Erwin is staring at him with a strange look.

"What?"

Erwin's expression is hard as he asks, "Did they touch you?"

Levi's brows furrow together. "Who?"

Erwin's eyes harden further. "What do you mean who? Those sex traffickers, obviously."

Levi's eyes dart to the side to nothing in particular. "Oh…" Levi tries to remember what happened. Did those men touch him? His mind is still hazy. "No, I think you came before they could," he replies slowly.

"You're being oddly calm about this."

Levi shrugs. "I've had to deal with perverts before. It's not new to me."

Erwin stiffens, staring at Levi.

"But that was definitely the closest call I've ever had…" Levi mutters cynically. Then his eyes taper at Erwin. "What took you so long anyway? Were you taking a long shit or something?"

Erwin's expression is surprisingly dark and Levi wonders if he said something wrong. He clears his throat and asks his question in a more polite manner this time. "Why didn't you come get me after training?"

Erwin growls and rubs his temple. He should have known Ian would forget to pick up Levi. He should never have trusted that forgetful fool. He'll definitely lay into Ian the next time he sees him. "I was called on a mission."

"You could've at least told me that…"

They fall to silence. Erwin takes a cloth and runs it over Levi's battered back. It's littered with dark, black and purple bruises. If they're still tender, Levi doesn't show any signs of feeling the pain. Erwin realizes something about Levi's condition doesn't make sense.

"How did you get so beat up? You could've easily protected yourself against those men. They shouldn't have been a match for you."

Levi's muscles tense and he doesn't reply.

"Levi?"

Levi stares at the wall, his eyes unfocused. "Everyone has to lose sometimes," he murmurs dully.

Erwin's hands hesitate then he holds onto Levi's jaw and forces him to look into his eyes. "Everyone has to lose? Are you implying that you lost on purpose?"

When Levi remains silent, Erwin's teeth clench tight. "What are you thinking? Why the hell would you want to lose to those pigs?"

Levi scoffs, turning his face away. "I didn't lose to those men. They just happened to catch me afterwards."

"Then who beat you?"

For a second, Levi doesn't reply and just as Erwin is about to repeat the question, Levi's mouth opens and he speaks. "My comrades."

Erwin jolts in shock. "What? I thought you were getting along with them."

Levi's shoulders slump forward a fraction and he looks a little wounded. "Darius still hates me," he says quietly.

"And you just let him beat you up?"

"He hurt Shanni. I thought if I gave him what he wanted, he'd leave them all alone."

Erwin is stunned. Levi isn't the kind of person to lower himself for the sake of others. He's a stubbornly proud person and he's only interested in his own safety.

"Levi…" And Erwin's arms wind around his small body, pulling him close. He doesn't care that his shirt is being soaked through by Levi's wet skin. And he doesn't want to let Levi go. He can feel the tension under his hold, and he thinks Levi is going to pull away but is surprised when he doesn't.

"Let go of me," Levi mutters halfheartedly but he doesn't struggle. He doesn't try to escape Erwin's grasp at all. He remains completely still.

"You don't have to act so strong all the time. You're still just a kid," Erwin murmurs.

Levi is quiet and then his tension melts and his fingers curl into Erwin's shirt. "Why do you do so much for me?"

"You're my responsibility," is Erwin's automatic reply.

"Erwin…" And Levi's voice is soft and oddly childlike. "…you won't ever leave me, will you?"

"I'd never do that. I can't."

Levi is slow to reply. "Am I just a chore to you?" he mumbles.

"No, Levi," and he pauses before saying, "That's not it." He presses his cheek into the top of Levi's damp hair.

Erwin won't admit that he's grown fond of Levi. He'll never say something like that out loud. It'd be a sign of Erwin's weakness. A cold, hardened heart is the asset Erwin has developed throughout his life—it's what makes him strong, so he can't let himself become soft. His heart can't be affected by anyone, least of all Levi because Levi is simply a soldier that will forever fight for Erwin. Nothing more.


One day Erwin hands Levi a small bar of chocolate. Levi stares at it, not comprehending the meaning of it.

"Isn't chocolate meant for birthdays? You know that I don't know when my birthday is..."

"Chocolate is meant for special occasions. And today is special. Do you know why?"

Levi shakes his head.

"One year ago from today was the day I found you." And Erwin laughs. Even after all this time, he still can't believe Levi had been the head of that smuggling line.

Levi is rendered speechless.

"Here." Erwin tosses him a small box and Levi catches it in the air.

"What is it?"

"Just a little something." And then he walks off with Levi's eyes lingering after him.

When he's no longer in sight Levi's eyes shift to the box. He stares at it in the palms of his hands. There's a part of him that doesn't want to open it. It's the first present he's ever received and he wants to treasure it. But presents are supposed to be opened because whatever is on the inside is the real prize.

Levi slowly lifts off the top and inside is something white and soft. He carefully unfolds the material and gapes at it. It's a cottony, white cravat and it looks to be a pretty expensive one too. He loops it around his neck and pulls it tight in the front so that it hangs neatly at his throat. His fingertips brush over the soft ruffles, his chest swelling with a feeling foreign to him. It's almost painful but it's a pleasant kind of pain.


iii. The End of the Beginning

Erwin grins when he sees Levi and his eyes fall to his throat. "The tie suits you."

Levi shifts uncomfortably and looks away. "Who knew a criminal could clean up so nicely, right?"

Erwin smirks and goes to ruffle his hair, but Levi ducks out of the way.

There's a short moment of silence before Erwin suddenly says with a serious tone, "I'm going to transfer to the Scouting Legion."

Levi's heart stutters, his head snapping upward. "But…that means you'll be sent outside the walls. You'll face titans."

Erwin slowly nods and his mouth presses into a line. "It won't be my first time. I've fought titans before."

Levi's fingers curl into fists so tight that his nails dig into his palm. Ice water rushes through his veins and he can't breathe. "You'll leave me."

Erwin regards him with an unreadable expression. "Keith and Ian will keep an eye on you. Besides, I think you've proven yourself."

Levi frowns, his eyes hardening into a glare. "That's not the point. You said you wouldn't leave me."

Erwin isn't surprised Levi is angry. He knew this would be hard for Levi to understand, but Erwin doesn't have a choice. He can't stay with the Stationary Guard any longer. Humanity needs him outside the walls. "I'll return. I promise you."

Levi doesn't say anything, but there's a pressure building inside of him, and it keeps swelling until it's unbearable to ignore. Then suddenly his hand shoots out on its own accord, and he clutches onto Erwin's fingers. His grip is strong, practically on the verge of desperation, and it trembles slightly. His eyes are downcast, unable to meet Erwin's gaze. "Wait for me," he mutters. "We can join the Scouting Legion together." Levi only has one year left of training and this way Levi will be able to watch Erwin's back. He won't have to face the perils alone. Levi will be there to protect him. He'll keep Erwin alive.

For a moment, Erwin says nothing and then with his free hand he tousles Levi's thick hair. "Alright, I'll wait."

A weight is lifted and Levi breathes out an internal sigh of relief.