This whole intermission is sort of an in-joke between me and a select group of friends. I had them all email me with questions that I could use for it.
I'm working on part 2 now. I'll hopefully have it up by no later than tonight.
"Hi! I'm Barricade, and this is my Autobot buddy, Bumblebee!" Barricade said. "I'll bet you're wondering what happens next in the story. Banana would love to tell you, but she didn't get it written yet on account of her cow of a sister wouldn't let her have the computer until just now! So, here's a little something for you to read until then." He turned in the beanbag chair he was sitting in to face Bumblebee. "Care to take over, Bumblebee?"
"You probably remember us from the hit movie, Transformers," Bumblebee began. "Some of you because you thought it was totally awesome…and others because you never stop complaining about how it raped your childhood. Like most celebrities, we tend to get a lot of fan mail. But along with fan mail, we also receive a lot of questions. We figured we'd take a moment to answer a few of these questions."
"Oh, and to the 2 million+ fangirls who asked me to marry them, sorry, but I don't do interspecies relationships," Barricade interrupted. "Besides, I'm already happily in a relationship."
"Try three," Bumblebee said sardonically.
"Shh! One of my girlfriends is in the other room!" Barricade whispered loudly, glancing to the door to make sure she didn't hear him. He pulled out a laptop and pushed a few buttons on it, bringing up their email account. "Well anyway, first question…"
Bumblebee leaned over and read the email. "Brittany in Fresno, California asks, "What do giant robots like to do when they get bored?" Well Brittany, I like to surf the Internet. I've got this wicked awesome Myspace page going on."
"Of which Tom and Jazz are your only friends," Barricade interrupted. Bumblebee glared at him and swatted him in the head. "As for me, I like to watch TV with Frenzy. Robot Chicken and South Park are my favorite shows," Barricade replied. "Next email… Bryan in Easton, Pennsylvania asks, "Do robots have porn?" Pff, well duh! Any advanced civilization that has some concept of sex has porn!"
"I must say though, it's not quite as interesting as human porn," Bumblebee interjected. A long pause followed. "Uh, I mean, not that I've ever seen any of it, it's just…" He noticed the awkward glance from Barricade. "You know what, let's go on to the next question…" He quickly opened an email. "Jennifer in Seattle, Washington asks if Barricade…um… Oh wow… It seems that Barricade's got another fan…" Barricade leaned over and read the email. "Barricade? Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm okay. Frightened. Sickened. Strangely aroused. But okay nonetheless," he nodded. "Next…"
"Okay… Jason of London, England asks, "What is the meaning of life?" Well Jason…"
"3."
Bumblebee looked over at Barricade. "3?"
"3," he nodded.
"Okay, then, Jason. It appears that the meaning of life is "3". What that means, only Barricade knows." Bumblebee went back to the laptop. "We have one more here for Barricade." He passed the laptop to Barricade.
"Alright, let's see… "Barricade, when are you going to pay child support, you lazy son of a…" Dammit, how does she keep finding me?!" Barricade snapped the laptop shut.
"Well, we're out of time for today… Say goodbye, Barricade!" Bumblebee smiled.
"Goodbye, Barricade!" Barricade replied.
