The Mirror is a Window

A/N: For the first week or so at home during break from University, everywhere I went people had the same reaction. Poor Cas is going to be having this happen a lot until after he and Dean reunite. You will likely be rolling your eyes each time it happens. I have meant for you to feel this way since it very like what Cas is feeling. He takes in stride, though.

KUDOs: Thank you to the people who alerted, reviewed and fav'd this story! (And so quickly, too! I mean I JUST posted it!) Thank you to God-damned, Shelly1979RHPS, quarius, ThePrintedVixen, kiikii22, Acedia-et-Avaritia, Krystel101, KoRho, La-p'tite-tete, yariealina, victolune, and xelloss100. Special kisses and love goes to ccase13 for the consistent feedback. Yes, my darling, I write about the characters, NOT the actors! I did use "Collins" for Castiel because I imagine Charles is a wee bit Brittish. I loved the idea that he might have reddish-brown hair and fair skin (Like my granddad of the same name) while Ana would be a dark-haired olive-skinned beauty (unlike the Anna who is an angel on the show).

Chapter 2 Bits and Pieces

When he arrived home thirty minutes later, he made his way into the backyard. He began moving his body through the forms, visualizing his instructor in front of him, mirroring all the sharp and smooth movements of the kata. He was so focused, he didn't realize he had an audience.

"Jesus, Cas! You've changed!"

Cas turned his head to see long, dark-blonde hair and bright hazel eyes of Sam Winchester. Cas' eyes widened as he nodded.

"Look who's talking, Sam! Are you taking growth hormones?"

Sam laughed as he ducked his head. "Grew six inches since you saw me last. I'm nearly as tall as Dean, now!" Sam chirped.

Cas walked over to the fence and peered around.

"Where is he?" Cas asked. He was proud that the nervousness and eagerness to see his friend didn't bleed into his voice.

Sam shrugged. "Work. He dropped me off a while ago. Saw you out here and thought I'd say, 'hi'."

It occurred to Cas as he nodded that Sam was the passenger in the Impala.

"Well, let me go shower and change and we can catch up, yeah?"

Sam nodded and waved. Cas tried to catch his breath and calm his heart when he walked into the house. His mother looked at him over her cup of coffee. The knowing look she gave him disturbed him. She didn't say anything, but smiled when he turned his attention to her.

"'Morning, Mom." Cas said as he kissed her head.

"Eew! You're all sweaty!" She pulled away.

Cas chuckled and began walking to the stairway. "I know. Gonna shower and then I'm gonna hang out with Sam for a while. Is that okay?"

"Of course, Angel…" She got a thoughtful look on her face. Cas stopped his trek out of the room when she asked, "Have you seen Dean?"

He gulped before schooling his expression and turning to face her. "No. Sam says he's at work. Maybe, I'll see him later."

She nodded and he turned to go upstairs.

He found Sam throwing an orange ball into a free-standing basketball net in the street. Cas folded onto the sidewalk to watch him. After a few more baskets, Sam came over to where he was and sat on the ball in the street in front of Cas.

They talked about school. Sam was taking College Prep classes as well as some Advanced Placement courses. They had to jump him from Sophomore to Junior year since 10th graders weren't allowed to take those classes at their school. Sam talked about Jessica Moore and how they had gotten really close over the summer. They had been on a few dates since the Fall term started and she introduced him as her boyfriend to family and friends.

"I'll bet your brothers give you no end of grief for that!" Castiel laughed.

Sam nodded but turned his head away. When he spoke again after several moments of silence, it was in a kind of whisper that alluded to his desire to know the answer but was afraid he'd get the truth. "You never called Dean."

Cas felt himself go still. His blood ran cold. He nodded, his head hung with regret. "I know."

After a few more minutes of silence, Sam spoke again. "It really hurt him, Cas. He doesn't talk about his feelings a lot, but… he was going through… some stuff. He really could have used his best friend."

Cas could feel his guilt and shame weigh down his heart. He picked at the rubber on the sole of his shoe. They didn't speak again for a while.

"Me, too." Cas whispered.

Sam looked up from the place on the asphalt he had been studying. "You, too… what?"

Cas inhaled a deep breath and met the hazel eyes that bored into him. "I was going through a lot, too… Sam, I know I should have called but… I … figured some things out and… I didn't know if I should tell Dean. I really wanted to, but… I just didn't… I don't know if…" he inhaled another breath to try and stem the tide of tears he thought he had already exhausted.

"If what, Cas?" Sam asked in a quiet voice while softening his posture to something supportive. Cas wondered if Sam knew he did it, or if it was just instinctual.

"I don't know if he'd want to be my friend anymore if he finds out." Cas said turning his face away.

They were silent for a while more. The tension rose, but neither knew what to do to dispel it. Cas began reciting prime numbers in his head to calm the maelstrom of emotions and thoughts that whirled around in his mind.

"Wanna go to the mall?" Sam asked.

Cas felt a smile tug at his lips. That one phrase put everything to rights again. It didn't solve any problems, but helped to defuse the overwhelming pressure between the two friends. The topic was tabled for another time.

He looked up at Dean's younger brother, the boy who felt more like a brother to him than his own siblings and rose from his spot. He offered Sam his hand.

"I'll drive…" Cas insisted.

"Good. 'Cuz Kate won't let me drive the truck without Dad and Dad told me he was gonna hire one of those driving school guys to do the driving with me from now on…" Sam said as he walked beside his friend.

Cas laughed. "What happened?"

Sam blanched. "Uh… you don't want to know…"

They pulled into the crowded parking lot and trolled the aisles for a spot. It was packed with Christmas shoppers and children on break finding their leisure.

"Your truck's a piece of shit, Cas!" Sam exclaimed when he got out at the mall.

"Look, it's better than what you're driving… oh, wait!" Cas taunted.

Sam shoved Cas as they walked to the mall entrance.

"Is there a purpose to this trip, or are we here to people watch?" Cas asked.

Sam blushed and hid his hands in his pockets.

"Ah!" Cas teased. "Maybe, Ms. Moore will be here?"

Sam grinned. "She works at Old Navy on the weekends. Since we're out on break, she picked up some extra hours."

Cas laughed and slapped a hand across Sam's back. "Okay, I should do some Christmas shopping, anyway. You go ogle your girlfriend. I'll meet you at the food court."

"Thanks, Cas!" Sam beamed and sprinted off. Cas waved and chuckled to himself.

He was looking at some angel figures for his mom when he heard his name being called. He turned to see a petite blonde girl grinning at him.

"Hope!" Cas exclaimed.

"I thought that was you!" Hope said. "When did you get home?"

"Yesterday. I brought Sam to go Christmas shopping."

Hope laughed. "You mean Jessica-staring."

Cas nodded as he chuckled, "How's Adam?"

Hope flushed and held up a bag from a store and put her finger to her closed lips.

"Jewlery?" Cas asked.

"Watch." Hope explained. "He broke his old one at work."

Cas nodded. "He's workin' at the garage with John?"

"Yeah, since Dean quit… Adam has been pickin' up the slack."

The grin faded from Cas' face. "Dean quit at the garage?"

Hope's eyes widened. "Sam didn't say?"

Cas shook his head. "He just said Dean was going through some stuff."

Hope leaned in and grabbed Cas' hand. "Let's go sit down. I'll fill you in."

An hour later, Cas was still reeling from all the information Hope shared. Apparently, Dean and John had a huge, knock-down, drag-out over something—Adam wouldn't say what. John made an ultimatum and Dean left. That night, all of Dean's belongings were dragged out onto the front lawn and John changed the locks. Dean went to live with Bobby for a while, but that created problems between Bobby and John so Dean got an apartment in town. Dean either quit or got fired at the garage, so Bobby hired him over at Singer's. He's been working and going to technical college at night. Dean and John have come to a place where they are able to be in a room together for short periods of time and John lets Sam go to visit his brother but John and Dean no longer speak to each other.

This was all very surprising to Cas since Dean idolized his dad. Dean's entire personality was a mirror of John. It was inconceivable that something—anything—could get between them that would end this way. Then, he wondered why his mother never said anything. The Winchesters were their neighbors. Something this big could not have escaped her notice. After catching up a bit, Hope left to finish her errands and Cas sat in the food court awaiting Sam.

"Cas?" Sam called and touched his shoulder. Cas shook himself and looked up at Sam. The young man seemed concerned, but Cas noticed he was not alone.

"Oh my gosh! Little Jessie Moore!" Cas rose and embraced Jessica.

"Jess." She corrected. "I can't believe you called me Jessie… Unless you want me to call you Cassie?" Jess smiled as she hugged Cas. "Man, you're ripped, Cas! What have you been doing?"

Cas shook his head. "You know, everyone keeps asking me that. It's not like I was fat and lost a bunch of weight."

"No, but damn!" Jess kept fingering Cas' abs through his shirt.

"Knock it off!" Cas brushed her hand away with a laugh.

Jess sighed and hugged Sam.

"Are we hungry, folks?" Sam asked.

"YES!" Both Jess and Cas chorused.

They spent an hour chatting and laughing. Cas kept thinking about his conversation with Hope and just wanted to get Sam alone. Finally, Cas and Sam walked Jess to her car and then went to Cas' truck.

"Sam…" Cas said when they were sitting in the truck. "What happened between John and Dean?"

The smile on Sam's face disappeared. Sam looked away from Cas out the side window. "Who told you?"

"Hope."

Sam swore and looked at his hands. "You gotta ask Dean, Cas. It's not my place."

"Sam. What the hell could have possibly been so bad to cause that?" Cas was flabbergasted.

Sam shook his head. "Uhn-uh, Cas. You have to have that talk with Dean."

The drive home was silent except for the quirky whines and clicks emitted by the truck. Cas stayed to think even after Sam left to go in his house. He's gone through a lot... sure... and he should have called home. Dean was still his best friend; even if he wasn't sure he wanted to tell about his own changes… Cas felt his own revelations were nothing as life-altering as what Dean went through. Dean had needed him and he didn't reach out to Cas. The phone lines go two ways. Cas didn't know... couldn't have known… but, that was all excuse after excuse. He felt like a bad friend. He held his face in the palms of his hands as he cried. He needed to make it up to Dean somehow.

When he was sure that there would be no more tears, he went into his home.