Disclaimer: Still not Stephenie Meyer. But that doesn't mean I don't wish I was!


Alice parked her beautiful (and shiny) yellow Porsche in the parking lot in front of Target. She skipped through the sliding doors, disregarding the awkward looks she received from the other Target-goers. She was too anxious about finding her perfect blender.

"Excuse me?" she asked a rather inattentive Target worker who turned around to shoot her an evil eye.

"What?" His response sounded more like a threat than a question.

"Where do you keep your blenders?" Alice asked in her most innocent voice.

"Aisle 8," the employee hissed.

"'Kay! Thanks!" Alice skipped over to where she guessed aisle 8 was.

Alice continued skipping. Aisles 13, 12, 11, 10, 9… She stopped dead.

"Whoa…" Her jaw dropped and eyes grew huge. "They're so pretty!"

At least twenty different blenders were on the shelf in front of her. So many different sizes and colors, each one shinier than the next. And that was just the box cover. The real thing must be way shinier…

"You're a weirdo." Alice's head snapped around to meet a little girl. She almost looked like a mini-Rosalie. Especially the glaring evilly part.

"Hey there!" Alice said. The magic blenders attracted her attention again. "These things are called blenders!" she pointed out.

"You're a crazy person too. They should put you in a crazy person place." the girl sneered. Her words triggered an unhappy memory in Alice. For the first time that day, Alice frowned.

"Those are called asylums." Alice explained. "They are not fun."

Once again, Alice couldn't keep her eyes off the blenders. She grabbed a lime green one off the middle shelf. "Well, bye!" she told the girl, and, remembering Edward's "legal" request, skipped off to the checkout counter.