Teatime makes his appearance, religion, standards of assassination and the definition of 'intact' are discussed. Enjoy and review.

'Susan, you're home!' Teatime bounced up as soon as she opened the door, like a hyperactive puppy, his one good eye twinkling, the glass one gleaming maliciously.

'Yes.' Susan couldn't manage more than a word in reply, as she was too busy checking the room for any bloodstains, scratch marks or even just an ornament in the wrong place.

'Something wrong?'

Not that I can see. 'Did anything happen while I was gone?'

'I got very bored.'

'Anything else?'

'Apparently the Assassin's Guild has obtained a contract on me.'

'WHAT? And you told me that you got bored first?'

'Being bored was more of an annoyance, I assure you.'

'Where's the assassin?'

'Back at the Guild.'

'Intact?'

'Oh yes.'

'Really?'

'Really. Just not breathing.'

'You killed him,' she said flatly.

'He tried to stab me. We compared knives. Mine was better.'

Susan spoke dangerously calmly. 'And how does a stab wound count as intact?'

'He was in one piece. It was self-defence.'

Susan just rolled her eyes.

'Besides,' he continued, 'the next time they try to inhume me they might pay a better assassin.' He pouted. 'The one they sent around this time was, frankly, insulting. He occupied my attention for all of a few seconds.'

The rolling of her eyes was upgraded to a slam of her head into her hands.

'He was trying to kill you and you're complaining that he wasn't better at it.'

'How many times? Inhume. It's really not a very difficult word. At all. And I think that, as a customer, technically, I have a right to a certain standard of service.'*

'Oh my gods.'

'And which would those be?'

'I'm sorry?'

Teatime gave her a look she had come to know and hate as "patient". For most people it defined the time between Teatime seeing you and Teatime's knife knowing you. 'Which gods are the subject of your worship?'

'Teatime it was just an expression!'

'Then perhaps you should find another. Like oh random particle fluctations or oh my demons or something.'

'That wouldn't be normal.'

'Good.'

Susan gave up at this point.

*Even death hadn't lessened Teatime's grasp of death from an assassin's perspective.