Nagisa, the assassin with a mouth

Plot: The one thing Nagisa had to remember his father were Deadpool comics. After his friends are kidnapped, the blow to his head reawakens his memories of these comics, and now that he has some assassin skills….OC! Nagisa & Kayano, maybe a harem….Will take ideas. Co-writing welcome!

DEADPOOL: HEY!

Me: (sigh) should've seen this coming. Yes, Deadpool? How can I help you?

DEADPOOL: My name's in the characters, how come I ain't in this story?

Me: You will be! I promise…in the next chapter. Sides, that took you longer than I thought it would, I was expecting you to pop up at the end of chapter 1…

Deadpool pulls out a BFG and levels it front of my nose.

DEADPOOL: Make me show up in this one.

Me: …I can do that.

DEADPOOOL: Okie Dokie! You can start. Oh, don't tell Nagi I was here yet.

Chapter 2: No more Nice Nagisa, unless you're Kayano or Karma

DEADPOOOOOOL! THE PERFECT TEACHER!

"Nagisa?"

He struggled to keep his eyes closed, snuggling further into his blanket as he dreamed:

Bullets, blades and blood flew through the air as Nagisa raced through the ranks of the assembled crooks, gunning and slicing them down one by one.

The crooks masks dropped, revealing some of the main building students and his mother, all revealing BFGs.

"That all you got?" Nagisa smirked, pulling out Soy Sauce and I can't believe its not Soy sauce, tehn began ramming their brains in.

"How much longer is he going to be dreaming?" Deadpool asked.

"He's a boy just entering puberty. Could take a while…"

"How much longer until I'm in the story? People want to see me! Your first comment was asking where I was!"

"That was you. Or a fan pretending to be you."

"EXACTLY!"

"Nagisa?" A gentle push to wake him up ended the dream; and right at the best part, Kayano was about to kiss him!

"No daddy, I don't want to go to school, the other boys make fun me." He said half-awake.

"NAGISA!"

That got him up. Leaping to his feet, Nagisa drew Soy Sauce and I Can't Beliebe Its Not Soy sauce and rammed them towards whoever awoke him…only to see them grabbed by a yellow two-finger tenta

Koro-sensei, Karasama-sensei and Bitch-Sensei

"Morning sensei." He yawned. "Am I late?"

"…No." Irina sighed. "You're an hour early at least. What're you doing here?"

Nagisa rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"I take it you didn't see the note I placed on the fridge?"

"I saw it," Koro-Sensei smiled. "But Nagisa, isn't running away from home a little much?"

"Not if you went through what I did." The blue haired boy quipped.

"What exactly happened?" Karasma asked.

"Oh you know, the dog bit the bitch back." Nagis explained cryptically, stretching as he did so. "I got sick and tired of mom making me cross-dress, so I told her to shove it and came up here. Ate a whole bee hive's honey last night, so keep an eye out for angry bees."

His stomach then growled, and he found several bills placed into his hand.

"Go to the vending machines and get yourself some breakfast and some bottled teas for us." Koro-sensei smiled. "You've still got an hour, so you should be okay to go down and get back without any trouble."

Nagisa smiled and saluted his teacher, racing down the hill.

XXXX

"You? Kill me?"

Nagisa smiled, not unlike a few weeks ago. While purchasing what he was asked for, he'd had the unfortunate luck of being accosted by four of the five Virtuosos, who'd told him to buzz off or they'd kill him.

Them? Spoiled brainaics who'd never had to actually work? Kill him? A kid who'd whipped the asses of a gang of high school punks with just a little training and mimicking Karma and Sugino's moves.

"Sure." Nagisa smirked. "How'd you like to do it? Right here, right now or after school? Bludgeon or stabbed?"

Not giving himself the pleasure of seeing their undoubtedly shocked reactions along with those around them, handed the Virtuosos his knife.

Not his anti-sensei knife however; his dad's old Marine Recon hunting knife; freshly sharpened.

"Go ahead. Do it. I won't defend myself." Nagisa smiled.

He spread his arms out, beckoning them to try.

"Come on, I don't have all day and we're not getting any younger. I'm standing right here, you think you can do it. Prove it. After all, Class E is full of losers right?"

The Virtuosos started to get more confidence, and the glasses wearing walked toward his apparent prey when he realized how…heavy the knife was.

"Then again….even before Class-E…I was always better than you."

"It's true." Karma smiled. "Nagi may not be at me or the Prinicpal's son's level, but he was pretty high on the totem pole…until a circumstances changed and everybody stopped caring enough to ask questions. That, and he's proven he's a real man by taking on a gang for the sake of two classmates. What have you guys done?"

Kayano and Okuda, who'd accompanied the red haired young man, rushed over to Nagisa.

"Are you okay, Nagisa?" Kayano asked, concerned.

"Disappointed that the so called betters don't have the guts to go all the way and tired and hungry." Nagisa confessed.

Just then, a limo pulled up and out stepped the principal and his son, making most rush to their classes.

"We should go." Okuda whispered, dragging the

"Have a good day, students."

"Enjoy your last few days in power, Principal."

That made everyone stop in their tracks, including Karma.

"…I'm sorry?" The Principal asked.

"Blatant favoritism?" Nagisa asked. "Encouraging bullying? You sure you're running a school and not….never mind, I'm above that joke."

"If that's what is needed for the majority of the student body to succeed, then I have no regrets." The principal smiled. "No, you be on your way or you'll be late."

"Yeah, but if the world knew…." Nagisa smiled as he turned around.

"Where are you going with this, Class E scum?" The principal's son asked.

"Did you forget? My uncle is happens to be the Prime Minister's head of Education." Nagisa smirked. "And while he despises my mother, as do I as of last night, he checks on me very now and then."

It was then that principal realized what was going on.

"Relax." Nagisa smiled, "I'm a reasonable guy….you just have to tell your fave ass-kissing cum-suckers to lay off my pals, fix up the teacher's attitudes and give Koro-sensei a raise before Friday."

"Or the evidence will be sent, I take it?"

When Nagisa laugh instead of realizing that he gave the principal time to formulate a way around this, everyone (minus Karma) got interested.

"Will be sent?" Nagisa asked. "Headmaster, I'm not some naïve all-loving teletubbie, I was your son and still am Karma's friend. You honestly think I'd confront you with a bluff if there was even a slight chance you could put something in motion that could persuade me to keep my mouth shut?"

The Principal recalled this way of speaking from a film he'd seen…and he remembered what followed.

"I did it three days ago." Nagisa smiled. "In fact, if I understand the maling system correctl, you should be getting a call on your cell by uncle…right about…."

RING!

"There it is!"

Nagisa then dragged Karma up the hill, just in time for the first class.

"That is some Watchmen shit right there!" Deadpool hollered. "I'm a Marvel, not a DC! YOU TRAI…"

"You're on in one or two pages."

"….Stay with Marvel references from now on. If I'm actually killed off and run into Deathstroke and he hears about me being in a fic with references to HIS universes…universai…universesi….What's the plural on that again?'

"Universes. And why worry? Knowing you, they'd probably pull a Constantine or Lobo and ban/ kick you out of all the afterlives."

"Though I got to admit….I applaud the kid for pulling a move like that. I may actually enjoy becoming his mentor."

"Like when you've adopted Naruto, Harry Potter and them?"

"As long as I get some booty during this fic, I'll adopt the whole class! But seriously, get back to the story. I need to make my intro. And please…try to make it epic."

By the time they made it back to their building, class had started.

"Here're your teas sensei." Nagisa said, handing them their drinks and stuffing his bun into his mouth before sitting down in his spot.

XXXX

After lunch, Karasama came in to make an announcement:

"I got good news and potentially, very good news. The good is that your school is being audited and the principal's accountability is being called into question. This means that you may soon be treated more like human beings and our building will be brought up to decent levels."

The students cheered for the news.

"The other news is that you're getting another teacher. Orginally, it was going to be a college of mine, but the Canadian government was generous enough to…loan us one of their operatives. Nagisa, you may be familiar with him."

X O Give it to you suddenly burst into the air, and the class raced outside to see a jet fight happening over them…along with a giant robot racing after one of the jets.

"BONZAI!"

A red and black figure then leapt from the jet and opened fire onto the pilots of the plane before being grabbed by the robot. He simply threw a sword into one of its eyes, leapt out of its hand and cut its head clean off with twin Katanas before pulling out a gernade

"ENJOY THE ENGINE BURN!"

Once the grenade exploded, the figure began to fall down, yodelling and somersaulting as he did so. He then landed perfectly on his feet.

"Alright!" The character shouted. "Whose the shmuck whose stealing my act?"

Nagisa's world froze.

….

He was here.

He was HERE.

He was….

"THEY GET IT, I'M IN AWE OF THE GOD AMOUNG MEN THAT I WORSHIPPED!" Nagisa roared. "MOVE ON SO I CAN FANBOY!"

Everyone pointed to Nagisa, who suddenly lost the ability to speak, but managed to bow over and over.

"Ease up, kid." Deadpool waved his hands. "You'll break your neck."

"S-sorry, Deadpool-sama." Nagisa whispered. "I know you hear this all the time, but I am a huge fan of your work. The fact in took you util 2016 to get your own movie is a crime against humanity…"

"FINALLY!" Deadpool beamed. "A fan I can like!"

"Wade." Koro-Sensei smiled at the new arrival. "It's been a while."

Under his mask, Deadpool smiled.

"Dang skippy it has….sorry what name you going by now?"

"Just Koro-sensei."

"Well, can't say the look suits ya, but on the bright side…You can now live out your tentacle porn fantasies."

"You know me too well…"

Koro-sensei's skin turned pink as he joined Deadpool in laughing evilly.

"Great, who's this freak?" Terasaka asked, only to have a bazooka put in his face.

"Mind repeating that, boy?" Deadpool growled.

"Meet Wade Wilson." Karasama introduced, only to be pushed aside.

"That's my lame-ass birth name. Call me Deadpool. It rhymes with Old School. Too Cool, Ain't no fool and…"

Nagisa leapt into action and followed his idol's words and actions as Wade pulled out a Wolverine mask and he made bunny ears behind his head.

"I'm the best that there is at what I do…ool."

"What's with the…" Irina started, only to realize Deadpool wore a skintight outfit that left little to the imagination…and he saw her.

"…I've never seen such an…idealized femme fatale in a school before in my life…" He gasped, briefly forgetting all the beauties at Xaiver's school.

He then took her into his arms, bridal style.

"Kiss me…mon chere."

Karasama promptly kicked him

"Please excuse him, students." Koro-sensei smiled. "He's a little cuckoo in the coconut."

"I GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS…THERE THEY ARE, A STANDING IN A ROW!"

XXXX

"This ain't a school." Deadpool said. "It's an outhouse. I thought this was one of the best schools in Japan. The principal knows what you're doing right?"

The kids and teachers nodded.

"We're the loser class…"

"HOW ARE YOU NOT THE COOLEST KIDS IN JAPAN?" Deadpool screamed. "Who's picking on the best class in the world? Is it those idiots in the main building?"

He then smiled evilly.

"Maybe they'll all find grenades in their lunches so that when they use chopsticks they go click…."

"Please don't kill any kids, Wilson." Karasama asked.

"Oh Karrie-poo…" Deadpool smiled as he turned to Class E. "I'm not doing it…."

"….eh?"

"Hufufufu…" Koro-Sensei smiled. "I'm going to like working with him."

"I don't know…" Karma said aloud.

"….That is troubling."

To be continued….

DEADPOOL: Rushed, this was. Yes….

I said I'd try to upload two chapters on the same day, I try to keep readers happy.

DEADPOOL: Then why not update J Gundam and Loyalty to my mother, you do not?

Please stop speaking like Yoda.

DEADPOOL: I barely got any lines in this chapter, asshole! And don't go copying Mr. Alaska by bolding all my text!

I'm not copying, I'm meaning to pay tribute to him.

Nagsa: …does this mean I'll be going to Xaiver's school?