A/N: I came to school earlier today just to go to the computer room to submit this chapter. Hehehe. Anyway, thanks for reading. Any feedbaks are welcomed.
It's very hard to forget first love
Its memories will stick in life for forever
Let millions of love be present after that
But the beauty of first love
Will be eternally in the memory
-Anonymous
Chapter One, When Love Starts To Whisper
Mio is sitting on the red mattress while wearing a radiant white wedding dress. The sparkle look emitted on the bride's face only last for a moment.
Guests who attend do not know anything about what goes on in her mind. A clear liquid starts to come out of her eyes and flowing slowly to the cheeks.
"Aya, I'm sorry," she said those words in muffled and bowed her head.
Mio quickly wipes her tears with her fingertips when the door was opened.
"Do you cry, Mio?" asked Tsumugi who enters the bridal room slowly. She sat next to Mio. "Nothing," replied Mio with a feigned smile. "Do not lie to me, Mio. I know that you cried. Why are you crying?" "I don't cry," Mio still didn't admit it. "So why your eyes became watery?" Tsumugi questioned her with some pressing tone. "I… I feel sad because this time I will be away from my parents after this marriage," Mio lied to her. But it's true when she said that because she feels some sadness because she will be separated from her parents.
Tsumugi shook her head gradually. In the truth, she has already known what was playing on Mio's mind, but she was deliberately still questioning her. She is also a female, so, she can feel a sense of what Mio feels now. She's in love with other but married to someone else.
"Yes, whatever then. Here, let me correct your make-up," Tsumugi did not want to continue pressing on Mio.
Mio just following her order just now.
"Mio, do you think properly about what you will do at this moment?" inquired Tsumugi. "Why, Mugi?" "It's just about two weeks ago she was leaving us. Thup, thup, you want to marry Ritsu. Do you not have any pity on Ayame?" Mugi said those words fluently but full of gentleness. She stopped from keep on applying the make-up to Mio's face.
"Mugi, you do not understand what I feel now. This is Ayame's will. I'm not playing when I said that I'll marry to Ritsu with pleasure. I know what I do now," Mio tried to explain what she kept clandestinely deep inside her heart.
"I understand, Mio. But I'm just worried about you. Are you sure that you can be happy with this marriage if you only consider to implement Ayame's mandate?" Tsumugi looked straight into Mio's face.
Mio persevere with silence while bowed her head. Tsumugi's question cannot be answered unless…
"Mugi, please understand my situation," Mio replied softly. "I understand, Mio. I understand you and I can feel a sense of what you are feeling now. I know that you are depressed by now. It's not my intention to add more pressure on your handle bars. But you have to think about your future too, you know?" urged Mugi while grasping her friend's hand.
"What should I do now, Mugi?" Mio questioned her friend with an increasingly deadlocked expression. This marriage will be implemented in any moment from now, how could I want it to be canceled? The warm tears began to stagnate in her eyes.
"Do you sure Ritsu loves you more than just a friend?" Tsumugi probed her.
Mio thinks quietly before she only nodded slightly in reply.
"Do you sure that Ritsu could make you happy?"
She gave a nod again in response to Tsumugi. She doesn't even know if she was sure or not.
"Do you sure that you will be happy with Ritsu?"
"I can try to do it," Mio replied without a nod this time.
"If that is what you think, then it is up to you. I hope that you have thought about as serious as possible. You will live together with Ritsu not for a day or two or even for a year or two, but for forever. I will always pray for your happiness," explained Tsumugi while trying to remind Mio. Although Tsumugi still not married and experienced family matters, but it is just true about what she had said. "Thank you, Mugi" she replied while hugging Tsumugi. "I hope that you do not regret about what you will do now," Mugi whispered softly into Mio's ears.
"It's alright then. The bride of this day should not cry, you know? Now, wipe those tears because the shine will lose by that," Mugi added and disperse her arms as she's now letting go of Mio's body. "You know what? I think that you are not worry a thing about this shiny thing, but you fear that your make-up will be smudgy, right?" questioned Mio while letting out a small chuckle escaped from her mouth. This time, she will smile properly.
OOOOOO
Ritsu's and Mio's wedding ceremony was held in a double-story, detached bungalow owned by Ritsu. Somehow, they could feel that their council is not like any other newlyweds. Although the ceremony was held in a big and full of luxury house on their wedding day is considered the most happy, they still do not act like another couples in love who must always waited for this auspicious day.
This is Ritsu's and Mio's will by their selves. They are not like other couples who must be pigeon of a feather. Their relationship which was stabilized before are just friends.
Their families cannot afford to protest. They knew that their children have grown up already. They must have been able to think what is good and bad for their selves. It's not because they did not ignore or do not know, but they have to take care of their children's desire too.
They must understand the situation that Ritsu and Mio surface for now. They also are teenagers back then. Young people's feeling is indescribable. Furthermore, there is nothing to be blocked as both sides already recognize the potential in-law's family although they were not very closed though.
The clock is already pointed 1.00 in the morning, but Ritsu is still in the living room that is kept dark. She feels comfortable that way. Sometimes, she will step to the right and at times, to her left and then she finally stopped. She sat comfortably on the sofa along with a heavy sigh.
Tonight is her first night with Mio. For other couples, tonight must be a wonderful night which means too much for them that it cannot even expressed with words. But that is totally not for Ritsu.
Her mind was in turmoil. Every time she says something, they must be reproached by her other words. Should she follow her heart or her desire?
Going to bedroom and sleep with Mio or not? That is the question. Although the questions must seemed quite trivial and ordinary, but it could be very poisonous if she took false move because something unwanted might happen between them. That's the only thing that was played in her mind since the night came.
Actually by the low, Mio has become her right. She was able to touch Mio because they are already married. And she definitely can sleep on the same bed with Mio. She could also ask for what she desires from Mio.
But still her heat still considers herself: Will Mio accept her? Will she not be surprise if she sees me stands in front of the room? Will she invite me in or drive me out of it?
If she calls me though, what can I do? I am sure there is must be a stiff by then. I better sleep on the outside I'm sure she still remember Ayame. Our marriage was done just to satisfy her mandate after all. Not likely that she would invite me in.
If she chased me away, I deserve it. I guess for marrying a person who does not love me. But if she really does not love me, why was she willing to accept my proposal? Why is she willing to spend her time to live together with me? Why?
Ritsu took off her glasses then wiped her face nervously with both of her hands. She could feel there's a sweat that trails down her forehead.
Of course the reason why she's doing this was because this is Ayame's last message, stupid! She is really in love with Ayame. Obviously, she is willing to do anything as this far just to fill the requirements of her beloved one. Furthermore, that was Ayame's last wish.
Ritsu has already been involuntarily smear Ayame, her own best friend and Mio a minute ago. Argh! What am I saying? Ritsu let out a long sigh. What should I do now?
Ritsu has actually not known what to do now. Ayame, why are you doing like this to me? Undeniably, I love Mio, but it was all before you too, fell for her. I tried my best just to resist it many years ago. You know what, Ayame? She just loves you, only you, not me. My real intention is not to put the blame on you. But still, I am the one who not be able to devote their attention to the person who is not willing. I only managed to take care of her on your behalf, Aya. But I am not able to beatify her with much happiness as well as you, Ritsu sighed wistfully when thinking of Ayame.
Ritsu got up from sitting. She walks to the right and left as before. She still could not find any answer. What should I do? The clock now pointed 2.00 in the morning.
"Is Mio still waiting for me?" asked Ritsu slowly.
Heh, why would she do that after all? I'm really sure that she must have fully saddled with a beautiful dream ever as she must be reminded by a happy memory that she shared with Ayame back then and enjoys it. Ritsu quickly stopped her inner thoughts.
"What should I do now?"
Hey, Ritsu. Why don't you just go into the room and then sleep beside her like nothing happened? Spare him.
"By that, doesn't it mean that I am an intruder?"
Argh! What intruder? That's definitely my right to do anything to her even to touch her everything. Ritsu pressed her mind swiftly when she thought to do that. I'm a very bad person to do that to her by then. She must hate me for sure.
In the darkness, Ritsu is walking slowly towards the stairs. She is rubbing her hands to the left and right on the wall to go upstairs. She could see that there is a visible light which lit up brightly from the bridal room as Ritsu almost reaches the staircases' top peak.
"She's still up?" Ritsu asked herself while forming a frown on her forehead.
She moved sluggishly to the room. She hears a small cry inside the room. She walked closer to the door and she could hear Mio's small cry smoothly.
Ritsu stopped in front of the room. She opened the door slightly in order to see the face of crying Mio. But, she could only see her from her back. She tried her best to hold the tears as Ritsu could see her body is shaken. She also could see that Ayame's pictures appear to be scattered widely in the room. Slowly, she shut the door again.
Fine, what should I do? Do I have the right to calm her down? Gosh, I can't hold it any longer when she's crying. I feel like I want to pull her gently in my arms already and I really wish that I could be there for her. Although I am right here right now, I'm just too afraid. What if she's slipping me away? Darn it.
Ritsu released a deep sigh as she leans her body to the wall. Others might consider that this first night is the happiest night for the newlyweds, but not for Ritsu. Their happiness could not be done so in one way or another.
"Ah, what has happened to me? I am not looking for lust, but I was looking for a wife that I just married now. Yes, I been searching for the new wife I wed today. But is she really could be my wife by this way?"
Ritsu suddenly remembered the state of their room which filled with countless pictures of Ayame and Mio. It was not because she is jealous of Ayame but the most important thing is her heart feels really hurt by Mio's act towards her by now. She is fully aware of what Mio perceives. How couldn't her when it's been nearly 17 years since they become friends? Ritsu can certainly interpret something by what she saw at the relationship between Mio and Ayame. But still, she just couldn't do anything but letting it grows bigger day by day. Sometimes, she could vex her feelings but at some points, she couldn't. So, she just kept what she felt deep inside and holds back her tears.
Ayame is Mio's first love. They say first love is the hardest to forget. Yes, she believes now that it's true. The impact of first love is just too intense to hold back.
She moved deliberately, leaving the room. Ritsu has decided to sleep in another room. Should I force my lust onto her if Mio, herself was still not able to resist it? She absolutely still cannot forget the woman who she had loved for all this while.
No! I shouldn't be forceful to her. Now, I still don't believe that I was married my friend's lover. She is not the only one who has not yet prepared to face the world of this household, yeah, I think so too. I'm too raw in this. I still don't know what it is actually the purpose of marriage, Ritsu nauseating at herself.
Furthermore, Ayame hasn't been long gone for that long already. Ritsu, herself also couldn't close the book full of memories from the friendship that they shared since five years ago who has regarded as her own family members. They encountered with joys and sorrows together except for the secret of the fatal disease.
Before leaving the room, Ritsu took a glimpse behind her again. She could see Mio's and her bridal room. The door was still closed as she left a while ago.
A/N: Hmmm, I'm sorry. I've never meant to make Ritsu feels this hurt. Gomenasai, Ricchan! (*bowing*). Let's just wait for the next chapter now as I don't even know when I can have the chance to update for more. Thanks for those who review!
