Chapter 2! I haven't had time to reply to the reviews from the last chapter. I'll probably get to that later tomorrow. It's sort of on the late side in my neck of the woods. Tonight is all about hearing or listening. But the way I see it, you can't be heard if nobody understands you. I was going to do just the five sense, but I think I'm going to have to expand my definition of "sense". Hmm, much to ponder. In the meantime, please enjoy!
I don't own the Titans. The right people have all the rights.
He'd like to tell her how he feels. For some reason it never comes out quite how it should. No matter what words he tries to use, they all tangle and tumble together in a mess. Even he can't believe the strange phrases that he produces sometimes.
She's so smart that he feels ridiculously stupid in front of her. Getting a great education was never high on his list of priorities. Hearing her speak makes him wish it had been. He's terrified of looking or sounding like an idiot in front of her. He wants to be smart like Robin or witty like Cyborg. But the harder he tries, the worse he does.
Honestly, she doesn't need words to talk to him. Their eyes will meet and she knows what he's feeling, what he is trying so hard to say. But he still wants to be able to tell her himself. So he keeps trying, no matter how embarrassing the last attempt was.
There have only been a handful of times he's actually said the right thing to her. He's insanely proud of those few precious moments. Every one of those seconds has its place of honor amidst the finest of his entire life. Saving the world somehow seems small to knowing he managed to connect with her on a deeper level, if only for a little while.
He wants to tell her how stunning she is when she meditates. How the sight of her being happy makes him content with life. That no matter how insane their world gets, he knows they'll be okay together. Or that nothing in this dimension or any other could ever make him care for her less. The words just won't cooperate.
He's actually attempted to ask her out before. Nobody knows about it. Between his nerves and his mouth, it had just been a mangled mess. Raven didn't even realize that's what he was trying to do. Honestly, he's kind of happy that she wasn't aware of his intent. It kept the encounter at their normal level of awkward instead of a thousand times worse.
All he needs is one of those rare perfect times when his words match his thoughts. When he can say something real that doesn't become a lame pun or riddle. The world will be calm. She'll be happy. And he won't spout nonsense like every other defining instant of his life.
Instead of saying she's stunning, he'll blurt out something about how much better she looks compared to normal. It would probably help if he could manage to tell her that he always thinks she's beautiful. Even that has proved to be too much for him. The story always ends with him trying to gather up the shattered pieces of her opinion of him.
That shouldn't really be all that surprising. It just seems to be his lot in life.
He'd give anything to explain himself to her. Actually, he'd give everything in exchange for one coherent sentence. He already knows exactly what it would be.
"Raven, no matter what else I may say, I'm always trying to say that I am always going to be here for you no matter what happens so you can always depend on me being here to watch over you and take care of you so don't ever forget that I'm never going to leave you alone or forget about you because you mean way too much to me for me to leave and I'd never forgive myself if I ever let you down so next time I say something completely stupid, remember that I'm really just trying to tell you how important you are to me."
So it's not the most grammatically correct sentence the world has ever seen. Nor is it completely coherent. But he's almost certain it would get his point across.
He just has to hope that between the mindreading and emotion sensing, she'll hear the real meaning behind his jumbled words.
