A/N: I own nothing.
It had been a bad day. My trainer was late, Portlyn couldn't get her act together, my latte was cold and to top it all off, I'd had to be respectful to… to… to the mail guy. Since when does Chad Dylan Cooper be nice to the people who serve him?
Lost in my own thoughts, I wandered a little farther than I should have. I was back stage at So Random, and embarrassingly enough, had no idea how to get back to my own set. I turned the corner and who should I run into but that sneaky, no-good ratings stealer and her so-big-it's-got-to-be-fake smile. I ran through my list of cutting insults, wondering which to use this time. Really it didn't matter which I pick – she would still be left floundering for a comeback. That's the one good thing about producers who bring in uncultured hicks on a whim. The hicks are usually so used to being nice that it takes a while for a comeback to float to the surface, and by then I'm long gone. Suddenly I realized there was something wrong. The girl's usual huge grin is nowhere to be seen and she's quickly stuffing props into a box. It isn't until I catch a glimpse of her face framed by the blonde wig that I realize she reminded me of someone.
"I knew I recognized you. You're weird beard," I said. She looked down at her shoes, very embarrassed. Paydirt, I thought. Blackmail is just as good if not better than insults to get rid of someone.
"Why are you weird beard?" I asked when no explanation seemed forthcoming. While the tidbit about weird beard would work fine, the more details I could get, the quicker I could convince her to leave.
"Why do you care?" she asked me. It was a fair question. I make a point of not caring about anything or anyone.
"I don't know, let's give it a shot," I replied, slightly puzzled myself. She shrugged and started telling me anyway.
"Well, I sent myself a fan letter, I pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the fan that I'm pretending to be." Her voice became sarcastically cheerful on this last bit. This is even better than I thought it would be, I said to myself.
"Why would you write yourself a fan letter?" I asked. It didn't make sense. Granted she probably didn't get as many letters as I do every day, but that doesn't mean she should write one herself to make up for it.
She sighed. "Because I lost faith in myself," she answered.
"Classic case of actor insecurity," I said. "Start doubting your abilities, wondering whether you were good enough and whether you deserve to be on television." What?! the voices inside my head started screaming at me. What are you doing?! Chad Dylan Cooper does not have weaknesses, much less tell the enemy about them. The voices resolved into the single voice of my father.
"So you've been through this?" she asked hopefully. Thank God she's given you a way to fix it! the voice says.
"No," I lied, laughing a little to help myself back into character. "But I made you think I had which is why I'll never go through it." I made the mistake then of looking into her eyes. They were a soft chocolate-y brown and they were full of hurt. She looked so small and vulnerable that I wanted to take back my words the second they left my mouth. Still, I covered it well. Then the moment was gone and the liquid pain solidified into blocks of hatred.
"You are unbelievable!" she said, the disgust plain in her voice. "I knew it. You don't care. You know, I thought we were having a real moment here." I forced my face into a blank mask and let her disgust and hatred wash over me. I've gotten very good at that particular technique over the years. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it dulls it enough so it's bearable. I'll just bury this speech along with all the others.
I looked up briefly as Marshall's voice blared over the loudspeaker, calling her back to the stage.
"Well that's my cue," she said. She sounded so dejected that I was actually starting to feel sorry for her.
"So, what're you going to do?" I asked.
"You don't care remember?" she said, mimicking my voice. I had the fleeting urge to contradict her, but she continued before I could act on it. "But I do. Now excuse me while I go out there and embarrass myself." She brushed past me and walked on stage, chin held high and back straight. You have to admire her courage, I thought. I looked down at the box she'd left on the table. You know… I thought, She and I are about the same height… The voice inside my head is screaming at me to leave it, but I just can't shake the vision of those vulnerable, whipped-puppy-dog eyes. I heard Marshall begin to count down and I quickly began pulling on the clothes. For once in my life, I was going to ignore the father in my head. Besides, how was he going to find out?
"What. The HELL. WAS THAT?" screamed my father as soon as I answered the phone.
"I'm sorry?" I asked. Maybe if I played dumb, the lecture wouldn't be quite so severe.
"Damn right you're sorry and you're going to be a lot sorrier when I'm through with you! I told you to get rid of her, and come to find out you've ensured her a permanent position?! That little stunt of yours put their ratings through the roof! And don't you dare play dumb with me, young man. The audience may not have recognized you, the stupid Randoms may not have recognized you, but I know my son! What were you thinking?" I opened my mouth to explain when I realized I didn't have any explanation. Just a pair of sad puppy-dog eyes. Not that it really mattered. I wouldn't be able to get a word in edgewise until Dad decided he was done anyways. I slid down to sit against the wall and leaned my head back. All I could really do was wait it out. I let the words wash over me and then gathered them up into a ball and buried them. It didn't matter what Dad thought anyways.
I'll get you for this, Sonny Munroe, I thought, for earning me yet another lecture from my father, for making me wear that stupid beard, and most of all for tricking me with those big brown eyes!
A/N: Hi guys! Two posts in one day is a lot I know. It probably won't happen again, because this chapter was already pretty much written. I hope to have something soon, but no guarantees as exams are coming up soon. Anyway, let me know what you think. I'm especially anxious to know what you think of Chad's agent father. I really like the idea of him, but I'm not sure I got the tone right. What do you think?
Alright, have a nice day and please review on your way out =)
~Laure
