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Chapter Two: The Knight Bus
A triple-decker, purple AEC Regent III RT pulled up in front of me. I started backing away.
Then a guy (the typical stick thin, sleazy, wearing an oversized purple uniform guy) stepped out and unfolded a piece of paper, "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard, my name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor for this evening." he folded the paper and put it back in some invisible pocket. Then he regarded me, "Wha' you wearing?"
"None of your business."
"Well, ain't you going to get in?"
I looked around, then decided the bus might be a good idea. I shrugged and boarded the bus. I could feel my jaw hitting the floor.
"Oh my giddy aunt..."
It was like one of those fancy bedrooms you might get in an expensive hotel. With a chandelier. A big chandelier. And cream walls. And torches. And beds, half of them unoccupied.
Stan pulled a ticket out of some old ticket...handing...thing... and handed it to me. Then he turned to the driver, "Take it away, Ernie."
"Yeah, take it away, Ernie." did anyone else notice the shrunken head before?
The bus lurched, then took off at some insane speed. I was going to grab a bed post, before the actual bed rammed into my shin. I suppressed a scream.
Stan smirked, "Maybe you should be more careful."
Before I could respond to that, the bus stopped. Stan had moved to the door without me noticing, "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this eve-"
He stopped abruptly."Wha' were you doin' down there?" said Stan, dropping his professional manner.
"Fell over," came a muffled voice. I stood behind Stand to see what it was. There was a boy who looked about my age with a bewildered look on his face. His jeans were torn and his one hand was bleeding.
"'Choo fall over for?" sniggered Stan.
"I didn't do it on purpose," said the boy, annoyed. Then he walked around the bus. Stan shrugged at me and followed him. I waited, then the boy came onto the bus, Stan lugging a massive suitcase behind him. Then he dropped the suitcase, gave the boy a ticket, and rapped on the window.
"Take it away, Ern."
"Yeah, take it away, Ernie! It's going to be a bumpy ride!" that shrunken head was starting to freak me out.
I sat on the bed quickly and grabbed a post, "Hang onto something, if you value your shins."
The boy looked confused, but followed my lead anyway. There was a loud BANG and the bus lurched off once again. As the bus trundled on, Stan regarded us with a look of utter concentration. He was probably trying to work out how two teenagers had ended up on the bus on the same night, and staying on two feet the whole time. Now that was amazing.
"Wha' you say your name was again?"
"I didn't."
"And you?"
I thought for a moment. Then I decided to give my real (and embarrassing) name, "Artemis. But most people call me Ty."
"And whereabouts are you headed?"
The boy replied first, "The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London."
Stan looked at me.
"Ditto." I said quickly, "But weren't we just in London?"
"Yeah, before he flagged us down."
The boy shrugged. "How come the Muggles don't hear us?"
"Muggles! Don' listen properly, do they? Don't look properly neither. Never notice nuffing, they don'."
"Muggles?" I asked.
"Non-magic folk." said the boy.
"Magic?" but if they heard me, they decided not to respond.
Then the Shrunken head yelled, "Ernie! Little old lady at twelve o'clock!"
The bus stopped abruptly and the boy and I both slammed into the front window at high speed. As we peeled ourselves off, the head started counting down. Then the bus lurched off again.
"You guys really need seat belts." I said, rubbing my face.
Stan had unfurled a copy of the Daily Prophet and was now reading with his tongue between his teeth. A large photograph of a sunken-faced man with long, matted hair blinked slowly at me from the front page.
"Who is that? That man?" asked the boy.
Stan looked just about ready to fall over, "Who is that?...Who is...?! That is Sirius Black, tha' is! Don' tell me you never been hearing of Sirius Black. He's a murderer. Go' himself locked up in Azkaban for it."
The boy blinked, "How did he escape?"
"Well that's the question, isn't it? He's the first one that done it!" he dropped his voice to a whisper, "He was a big supporter of...you know who. Reckon you've heard of him."
"Yeah. Him I've heard of."
I coughed.
Don't ask, he mouthed. Stan carried on reading, ignoring us.
"Ernie, two double-deckers at twelve o'clock." the shrunken head swivelled from the window to the driver, "Their getting closer. Ernie, their right on top of us!"
Time slowed. Ernie pulled a few levers and flicked a switch.
The bus contracted and squeezed right between the two buses.
"Mind your head." the head was finding it delightfully hilarious, "Hey guys, guys why the long faces? Ahahahaha!"
As soon as the bus was out, we continued zooming through London at high speed.
The shrunken head grinned, "Yeah, yeah, nearly dere, nearly dere."
Ernie slammed on the breaks again. I managed to stop myself from flying into the window again, but the boy wasn't so fortunate.
"The Leaky Cauldron. Eleven Sickles. Each." said Stan, pointing.
Sickles? I was about to point out that I had no idea what a Sickle was when the boy hurriedly peeled his face off the window and took out a pouch, "I'll pay for both."
We got off the bus before it pulled away.
"Thanks for that." I said.
"No problem."
"I'm Artemis. Well...you already know that, I guess."
"I'm-"
"There you are, Harry!" some guy in a black cloak slapped his hand on the boy's shoulder.
I raised an eyebrow, "Harry? Any relation to Harry Potter." I grinned. My smile faded when I saw the two of them were completely serious. "Oh. Well, that's not normal."
