A/N – Yay ! I finally finished this chapter. Took me a little longer then I thought but I didn't wanted to post it before i was at least half satisfied with it.
It continues direct from chapter one. And please don't hate me, I'm a huge caskett shipper too, but we need the drama ! Don't loose hope !
Thanks for the nice reviews. I give the best I can. Worked on my capital letters ! It is a little odd, in German you write so many words with capital letters and there are so many rules. God i love English. :D
I'm rambling, let's get to the story instead.
Point of View - Police
Wednesday, August the 10th
Her right foot taps impatient against the ground. 'Too. Damn. Slow.' she curses into the small room. She pushes the button again. And another time. 'How slow can this thing be?'
The elevator jogs with a patient rate upwards. Beckett fixates her stare on the numbers symbolizing the floors and begins to count slowly backwards. Giving her mind a countdown before entering homicide and dedicating herself to her work.
'Three.' She imagines Castle before her, handsome and smiling at her like he had always done. 'What I would give to get this smile back.' she hums in a low tone as something creeps in the back of her head. 'What do you want to call him for ?' her humming dies down immediately. 'Didn't he made it pretty clear how much he cares about you the last months ? Just accept it finally..'
'Two.' The vision starts to blur and she catches herself wanting to rise her hand to stop him. But doubt begins to crawl out of his hiding place and holds her back.'You really want him ? The man who was distant over the past months ? The man who disappointed you with his behavior ? Who waltzed in here with this blonde bimbo ? Who is not ready for a real commitment and doesn't seem to wait anymore ? Don't two ex-wife's talk for itself ? Face it, the playboy is not his old image, it's just who he is..'
'One.' His image has faded away. She stumbles. Sure, she wants to know if he still loves her. But does she want a man who doesn't seem capable of a serious relationship ? 'No..' She sighs heavily 'But if I can't have this relationship with him, then I at least want my partner back.' she blinks and wonders if she can really deal with that. Not giving in to her feelings for him. 'Yeah, sure... I can do that.'
Ding. Beckett stares at the doors. 'Alright.' she takes a deep intake of breath 'Get him back in the Team.' and she waits for the doors to open.
"Lets go." she commands herself mumbling.
The thick doors of the elevator open with a smooth sound. As Beckett makes her first move out of it, she is greeted with a very unusual view. With a quick double-check she notices that yes, this is the right floor, homicide. But that, she thinks as her eyes record her surroundings, is everything else but the normal state of her workplace.
"What the hell happened ?" she asks an officer walking by and motions to the destination of her shocked stare.
He shrugs as he walks by "Like i would know. Probably some scumbag trying for an escape." leaving Beckett behind, still cataloging the view manifesting before her. 'Are you kidding me ? This looks like a fucking battlefield...' she thinks short tempered and takes note of the casualties.
There were pens lying around, spread over the whole flooring. Papers and folders weren't on her desk where she left them last night, they were beside and under her desk as if someone kicked them around. 'Oh no.. ' she moans 'my elephants..' as she sees the little white figures completely destroyed on her desk. She steps to her workplace, grabs her chair and lets herself fall down in it. Her hand rubs her forehead, she closes her eyes a brief moment and takes a deep breath.
What a mess.
But while she debates with herself if she wants to clean up or get a coffee first, some little object catches her attention. 'Is that a calculator ? Does people still use these ?" It wasn't really obvious from her point of view, but something nudges at her to move. She shoves her chair back and gets back on her feet, making her way over to the corner where she saw it. And now she can clearly make out what it is, it isn't an old school hand calculator like she thought, it is a device. A little, black, rather modern phone lying on the ground. 'I wonder who it belongs to..' she thinks as she makes her way back to her desk. Instantly she freezes by her next thought 'I hope its not Gates.' Inspecting the nice looking gadget she notices that it is still supplied with power and she easily turns the standby mode off.
'Huh..' she observes stunned.
She is greeted with the smiling faces of Martha and Alexis. 'Wow..' she figures 'Castles phone.'
As if it where some sort of idol, Beckett clasps the device firm in her hands. She is sitting back in her chair as she takes a quick look around. The bullpen is still rather empty, even the captain isn't there yet. What is she supposed to do now ? Looking back down on her hands, which embrace the device as if it were a fragile treasure, she comes to an easy conclusion. 'Watch it until he comes searching for it.' she nods and puts the phone near her keyboard.
While tidying up her place and clearing her desk from the shards, who where her elephants only remains, she caught herself sending little glimpses to Castles phone. 'He isn't that careless typically.' she thinks and sits back in her chair, crossing her legs. 'But he usually doesn't call her drunk either..' Her elbow rests on her desk as she lifts a hand to support her head. A silent sigh breaks free as she remembers the events from last night.
Last Night - 3 a.m.
Wednesday, August the 10th
It is raining, she can clearly hear it, but the constant drum of the raindrops against her window isn't what brings her out of her slumber. It's the buzzing sound of her phone who disturbs her night. She groans and turns on the side to grab it.
"Beckett" she barks into it. She isn't on call tonight. So, whoever it is needs a damn good reason to call. 'God, what's even the time...?'
"Hey, .. Kate.. " The voice sing-songs into her ear.
'Oh..' She recognizes him immediately but can't quite believe it.
"Castle ?" The hand which holds her phone, presses it firmer against her ear. She hears multiple voices and, what is that, music ?
"Yeah.. yeah.. " he answers distracted as if his focus is on something completely else. She holds the phone briefly from her ear and gets it into view. Narrowing her eyes to the bright display. 'Strange.. that's not Castles number.' The caller id isn't familiar at all to her.
"Is everything okay ?" asking after awhile. Despite the loud noises she can hear him, slowly breathing on the other end of the phone. She doesn't need to wait, he answers her immediately.
"Yeah !" he says startled, but it also sounds as if he wants to reassure her. Furrowing her brow and irritated by his monosyllabic answers she asks. "Okay ? Then ... " she takes a deep breath. "..why are you calling ?"
"Huh.. " 'Does he actually sound surprised ? Seriously ?'
"Castle ?" She is not sure if she should be concerned or angry. "Are you sure that everything is okay ?" She is rewarded with complete silence. With a brow lifted and her temper rising she asks curious and in hope to still get an answer if she keeps talking. "Castle, are you drunk ?"
"Yeah. Yeah." 'Oh Boy...' she sighs. 'Great.'
"You know, your answers start to annoy the hell out of me." She sits up in her bed, her head leaning against her headboard. Straightening some of her sheets while listening to the noises on the other end of the line.
"Sorry. I was thinking.." Her finger begin to massage the bridge of her nose. After taking a deep breath she answers him with a slightly annoyed voice. "Should i call someone ?"
"Huh ?"
'Well..' she thinks, while a smile is faintly visible on her face. "To prevent danger..."
"Oh.. ha.. yeah." He snorts half amused. "Wait. No ! I mean,.. sorry."
She sighs while listening to people talking and laughing on the other end. 'He seems to be on a party.'The bass drones though the phone. Opening her eyes she fixates her glance in direction of her bedroom window. It was still raining, she can hear it, but the curtain prevented her to look outside and the streetlights to brighten her room. The only source of light in her bedroom was the display of the little device in her hand.
"Its kind of late, Castle. Do you know what time it is ?" 'What is this even about ?'she debates with herself to hang up on him. She isn't really in the mood to have a conversation with him if he is drunk. This could get too embarrassing for both sides.
"Why Beckett, you don't have a watch ? Need me to come over and read the time to you ?" he retorts with a cocky voice.
"No ? Because its three in the morning and you woke me up."
"You know .." With a deep and vibrating tone he hums in her ear. 'God..' She breathes out. Goosebumps make their way over her arms. Her eyes close slowly, while a warm sensation creeps up from deep down and makes it's way through her whole body. She can't avert it, she momentarily looses some of her self-control. Her free hand moves under her sheets and begins to caress her thigh slowly. As one finger softly begins to stroke her skin by drawing fine lines over it, she pictures him. How he crawls before her, only dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans. Making his way to her, patiently, his dark blue eyes staring at her full of lust. Lifting his left hand he grabs her at the same place where her own hand caressed her skin, just seconds ago. His muscles flex and she stares at his half naked body, unable to look away, yearning to feel him underneath her fingers. He strokes her thigh gently, while she sits before him, her legs spread wide. "..when i picture to wake you.." She startles, her eyes jump open. 'God, what am I doing...'
Taking short breaths she tries to collect all her thoughts back on track. 'Get it back together, Beckett.'She needs to concentrate, to remind her of the actual situation. And after some long seconds, she thinks she is finally good again, her voice able to sound strong enough to make him clear that its not the time for his innuendos. Even if her cheeks are still deep red.
"Castle !"
"Mmh ?" He doesn't even seem to be bothered. 'He is really out of it, isn't he ?'
"What do you want ?"
"Why Detective Beckett, i never pictured you being this upfront in be.." she interrupts him before anything more can come out of his mouth. She can only think of one thing now to get this conversation forward. So she says, deadpan.
"I'm hanging up."
"NO ! Wait Beckett.. listen." And it seems to work. He sounds mildly panicked.
"What is it Castle ? I'm not really in the mood for.."
"I'm so.. sorry." His forlorn tone send her mind in overdrive. "What are you talking about ?"
"I was thinking about this whole big situation and how i just screwed everything up. You know,.." he is fumbling with the phone. She can hear the scratching, as if he tries to damage the casing of the phone with his nails. "I thought it would work out this way. But.. Kate ? Shit, what did i do ? I'm so confused. God, i don't even know .." She swallows, holding her breath. 'What does he mean ? What did he do ?' She is desperately searching for the right words now and simultaneously trying to make sense of his rambling. 'He didn't actually DO anything, did he..?' Rolling her eyes at herself in her dark room. 'This is Castle we're talking about..' Then it hit her. 'Oh, our current situation. Right... the tension and distance between us. The flight attendant.'
"Kate ?" Yes, yes. She was still here. She just needs a minute to calm down.
"Yes Castle, I'm here." Slowly breathing. "Listen." She changes the position in her bed, lying down again she rests her head on her pillow. "You're drunk. And I don't think that is the right condition for having this conversation. Let's talk about this tomorrow." She hopes she is doing the right thing, that he still wants to talk about it when he is sober. 'Come on Castle, give us a chance.'
She lets a breath out she didn't knew she was holding, as he answers. "Yeah.. right. Sure. Okay...that's, yeah that's good. Tomorrow then.." She lifts one arm over her closed eyes and smiles into the dark. Because he isn't pulling away, he wants to talk. And they made jokes, it is a start. Yeah, even if he is drunk.
"Come on Romeo, get movin !" A not at all familiar female voice chirps happily through the line, as if standing directly beside him. What she probably did. Beckett's smile fades instantly away, as does her hope. 'Damn.' she curses silently.
"Yeah.. a minute.." He seems to talk to the other woman, the one who was most likely hanging on his shoulder after speaking juicy things into his ear for the whole evening. 'I bet.'
"Who was that ?" she asks a while later. Not being nosy at all.
"That ? Oh, Elena. Yeah.. " he sighs. "we work together."
She blinks 'Yeah right, they work together.. Sure.' Jealousy burns inside her while her anger rises. 'Why are you doing this Castle ?' Her heart aches. But don't jump too fast to conclusions. She needs to breath, to come down. He wants to talk to her, he made it clear just a minute ago, that he regrets what he did. 'He wouldn't regret it and make out with another woman.. that makes no sense Beckett.'
'So ..a party..' she muses silently, still trying to gather herself from her emotional roller-coaster. 'they work together, he doesn't sound nervous.' she concentrates on the information at hand. 'Probably a book party. Either that or he is already done with me and just wants to save our partnership..' She begins to nibble on her lower lip. 'No, wait. He calls from another phone ! So he borrowed one, most likely from her then. It's a logical explanation. He is most likely telling the truth then.' a relieved breath escapes her now parted lips. "Okay.. okay, that's good."
"What ?" 'Shit ! Did I say that out loud ?' But before she could even think of some sort of excuse, he cuts in. "Beckett ? Hey I'm sorry.. I need to go. The phone.." and this time she interrupts him sounding relieved while a tender smile settles on her face. "It's okay Castle, I understand"
"You do ?" he asks bewildered and the only answer he gets is her soft humming while she thinks 'Sure Castle'.
"Let's get you laid.." was all Beckett heard the woman saying as the time in her bedroom immediately stopped. It felt like hours, no one said anything. It was a complete standstill. Her thumb finally found the counteraction to release her from this moment as he pressed the button on her phone to hang up. And she welcomed the silence of her room while her brain apparently stopped working temporarily. She was in shock. She couldn't think nor move. Her phone was still hold firmly against her ear, but her nerves seemed to be reacting faster than her brain could form a coherent thought. Because her hand initiated a life of his own as it lightly began to tremble. A silent tear escapes his prison as it rushes down her cheek, on the run from hope itself. 'No way...'
She brushes a strand of hair out of her face while she waits for her computer to boot. Emotionally still captured by her vivid remembrance of the late-night call. 'No coffee' she observes as her eyes stroll in search for nothing explicit over her desk. Her finger begin a nervous tap on her keyboard while she ponders to get herself something from a delicious, black and oh so hot liquid. With a blank stare her eyes fixate Castles phone.
'He didn't had his phone last night as he called..'she muses while her finger still taps the F on her keyboard for the umpteenth time.
'So, I left the precinct yesterday at 10 pm, he must have been here before 3 am. That's after I left here and before he called me from the party.' Her tapping comes to a halt. Standing up from her chair she makes her way over to the break-room. 'This whole mess and his phone lying on the floor must be connected.'
The cup she takes out of the cupboard feels cold in her hand, she clutches it between her hands while going over to the espresso machine. '..that can't be a coincidence..' she thinks. The hot coffee runs into the white NYPD cup until the machine refuses to pour more of the hot beverage into it. But she doesn't really took notice of this, the unauthorized strike wasn't were her focus lied.
'What the hell happened here.. ?' She asks herself again while staring through the window, surveying the bullpen. Sighing she shrugs it off. 'Not that it is important..' Lowering her eyes on the cup she notices that it is only half full. 'He probably did something stupid.' She presses the button on the espresso machine again and it releases the imprisoned coffee without any more complains. Taking the sugar and giving some into her coffee she ponders 'He didn't seem concerned or stressed because of it..'Mesmerized she stares into her coffee and stirs it with a spoon.
'But...'
Instantly her head jerks upwards. 'No way..' She spins around and pauses for a moment. There it was again, her breath caught. Her legs carry her away from the espresso machine, abandoning her coffee. She gets faster, her hand briefly catching the door frame while she begins to jog down the empty bullpen. Passing by the desks of other detectives she zero's in on her own private workspace. 'It's vibrating. Castles phone is vibrating. It's Castles.'she stammers inwardly.
She stops before making her way completely to her desk. 'Why am I running ?' Quickly she checks her surrounding, afraid someone might have witnessed her little panic attack. She lets out a relieved puff of air as she is sure and relieved that nobody actually saw. She makes her way slowly to her desk, while shaking her head at her own silliness. 'It's just his phone, calm down.' she tells herself, the little black device still vibrating on her desk. There is also music playing, which she never heard before. It was a slow beat, slowly going faster and also louder. It was nice,.. really. Somehow soothing. Well, that was until a loud shrieking voice screams out of the little thing and drowns the soothing music from before. Beckett lifts up one eyebrow. 'Is that a man ?' She can't quite believe it, but she knows one thing for sure. 'God Castle, that is terrible.'
She grabs the phone from her desk. Pressing her thumb over the speaker to quieten the volume of the music. 'Jeez, just quit it already.' she grumbles while the persistent caller doesn't make a move to give up. She looks up again, still no one around. 'Good.'She thinks for a split second until she comes to a decision.
Women's Restroom.
Cradling the phone in the palm of her hand she sits anxious on the toilette seat. Her right foot taps nervously. The call ended already and its not ringing anymore, but it seems someone has send an email while she was getting coffee. 'Great.' she thinks rolling her eyes. 'Not even do I have his phone, totally chickened out as someone called. As if I had stolen it... No, I also hide in the restroom.' she looks back down on it and sighs. The caller was not in Castles contact list, there was a number, not a name. So, no way for her to find out who it was, at the moment. But, she lends her head towards the wall, there was an email. 'No, you are not snooping around in Castles phone, Kate !' she instructs herself. 'But it is so tempting.' shaking her head slowly she shuts her eyes. 'Damn.'
Sitting there and debating with herself she lost track of time. It must be already 15 minutes, sitting on the seat in the women's restroom and arguing with herself why it is not right to read the email. She knows that is it wrong and she repeats it over and over again.
- One new Email - was constantly staring back at her, burning itself in the back of her eyes. Even if she closes them, she sees it and it taunts her, haunts her. Doubt nudging her again. Poking her in her side, her arm and in the back. Leaving behind a lasting dull pain which crawls reluctant to her heart. 'He doesn't love you.'whispers this disgusting being inside her. And she wants to rip it out of her, to crush it. She wants to have proof, a nice tidy looking folder with all the evidence to hold against it, inside. She wants photos, videos, messages. And she wants memories, recollections of the evidence with a stamp on it, able to tell and show this creation of insecureness in her subconsciousness that it is so damn wrong.
But she doesn't have it.
The only thing she has, is this one, tiny, little email. Calling out to her. Luring her, that inside her, maybe, is the one thing that could explain everything, that could have the prove she needs.
'It's probably just spam.' she puts the nail of her thumb between her teeth and nibbles on it. 'I will just delete it and it will look like he never received it. A mail failure. Happens all the time.'And its then that her twisted reasoning wins over her normal principles.
The feeling of disgust raises inside her at her own behavior, as her fingers fly over the display, easily opening the email. But she can't hold herself back now that she has trespassed this one line. It opens with just some simple touches and the text appears before her.
## Told you it would be hot, Alex. How did you even manage to hold it so steady ? ;) ##
Beckett looks puzzled. "Alex ?" she says loud with furrowed brows. But then she remembers again. 'Right, Richard Alexander.. Alex..' Pursing her lips she narrows her eyes at the rest of the email. There was a file attached, seems to be a video.
'Do I really want to see that ?' asking herself, her finger begin to tremble as they hover over the display of his handy. She doesn't even blink or think about it for a second longer, as her thumb presses down and starts the attached video. Too late to turn your back on it.
Shaky Video footage comes to live. There is nothing to perceive, the image is blurred. The movement of the camera too rapid that it can fixate and focus to sharpen the image. A voice is heard.
"Here we go.." the voice of Richard Castle chatters cockily. Followed by a laugh in the background, highly probable from a woman. The camera tries to focus again and again until it seems steady for long enough to finally accomplish it.
A Woman is seen. She sits on the ground, between two rows of black leather seats. As she goes on her kneels, she crawls in direction of the camera and more of the surrounding comes into view. It looks like the inside of a limousine. The windows are dimmed, emitting only a small amount of light inside.
"So rich and crisp.." purrs the attractive brunette, who is only clad in a short black mini skirt and a already half opened white blouse. The black provocative bra underneath flashes into view. She lifts her hands on something nearby, the camera moves slightly and in sight come knees, which probable belong to no one else then Castle himself. The brunette raises her body, but the video still focuses straight forwards, which results in a close-up view of her decollete.
"I smell sex all over you." whispers the woman seductive while the camera lens is now pressed against the woman's breast. The image is black, there is nothing to see anymore. But the amused sound of Castles voice reaches the device to capture it. "And who could possibly be responsible for that ?"
Rumbling is heard and into view of the footage come light and dark images, blurred and not recognizable. Until everything stills and the lens sharpens. The camera reveals Castle, staring down to the floor of the limousine straight into the lens of the camera. "Shit." he curses while he tries to shift on the seat. On his lap, straddling him, the brunette woman who also stares down to the camera.
"Watch it Alex, I don't want to buy a new phone. They aren't on the market yet." she whines and slaps him on his shoulder. He wears a white dress shirt, a tie which was surely sometime earlier tidily attached to his collar, was hanging loose around his neck.
"Turn around." he growls as his eyes stare the woman down. She gives in without a further word, but before she turns, she grabs the phone from the ground and cradles it in her hand. The video sways around and shows the floor. The sound of a zipper resonates through the dark limousine.
"Considering your former job, i don't think there will be a problem in getting one of these again." he appears to be everything else then bothered by it. The camera shakes lightly up, a female moan vibrates through the car.
"Oh.. that's, that#s not the point." Castle lets out a silent groan while the phone sways again. The woman gasps and asks curious "How do you even guess these things ?
"I don't guess, I observe." He replies without a hesitation as the video blurs, the phone turns around and in view comes the smiling face of the brunette. "Mhh yes.." she moans while she closes her eyes briefly.
"How did you know I used to work as .." but he won't let her finish the sentence before giving her her answer. "Google."
"Oh yes.." she grins while her body moves on Castles lap. A hand gets into view and grabs the phone out of the woman's hands. He is leaned back in his seat, while the unknown woman moves rhythmically. Her hand cup one of her breast and she sighs loudly. He focuses the camera on her back and head, her long hair covers her right shoulder. He lifts his free hand on her back to lean her further forward. She doesn't complain, it even gets her to moan louder while he pushes his hips upwards against her.
"Tell me.. " he pants. "why are you doing this.. ? Protecting people, for the cost of you life." he asks her while the shaking of the phone increases.
"Maybe you are worth it..." she responds, but it is clear that she doesn't mean it, she sounds way too amused.
And he laughs.
"Maybe for the money..." she says while it gets harder for her to speak clear. Her breathing increases, she seems to be near the end.
"Maybe because of the.." a full-mouthed moan is heard before a deep sigh escapes her lips and her body relaxes over him. "thrill..." she finishes softly.
Castle groans and his hands fall to his sides, causing the phone to lay on the seat, showing only a black nothing. "Mmh.. yes." his muffled voice is heard. "Show me...show me the thrill." The Camera moves again, this time it seems to be in the hands of the woman again. Castle stares with a serious expression in her direction, past the phone "I want more, show me something I don't know." he requests with a deep vibrating sound.
"Oh I will show you." the woman tells him cocky. "It will make you free in a way you have never known." And one of her fingers strokes over his bottom lip before the phone goes off.
The clattering sound of a falling phone echoes through the women's restroom. Beckett stares wide eyed and with parted lips to the wall. 'Is that from last night ?'she thinks and jerks upwards. Only to turn around and fall back to her knees holding herself over the toilet seat she says panting and in shock.
"Oh god...I think I'm going to vomit.."
~ Thoughts ? ~
A/N – Next chapter is finally Castle time ! Try to post the next one faster, promise ! Would make me happy to read some reviews from you. How do you find it so far ? :)
