The Game of Loops and Love

Summary: Alice is subjected to the Rule of the Endgame, forced to leave Wonderland if she hasn't bonded enough to the land and its inhabitants, and so makes a desperate wish to not have to leave. There is one Roleholder who can grant this wish, but when The Jabberwocky uses her powers, there's always a catch—and so Alice's love-life spins out of control! Add in timetravel, lost memories to be regained, and an unseen enemy and Alice and her Roleholder lovers are left in a bit of a bind… King-X-Vivaldi ; Alice!Harem (including all guys from HNKNA/CNKNA/JNKNA except the King)

Notes: Harem means more than one guy is sexually involved with our gal Alice. Also, in my harem fics (many of which will never see the light of day xD), the guys do end up "helping" each other if Alice isn't available or they're feeling particularly adventurous…just a quick warning for those who have delicate sensibilities~

Loop Fourteen-One
Kiss of Memories

It's that time again, sighed Alice as she stared at her almost-full vial, watching the liquid move and bubble. Just a few drops away from being full once more, it seemed to mock her with the promise of loss, her memories just as full.

She had become used to this pattern as time went on and back and on and back and on again. She began with only impressions, aside from the name of one person she had met but hadn't—her goal for that round, self-imposed, the first time by accident but each time after with purpose. She would be falling with Peter and end up lying in front/on top of Clock Tower Plaza and would make her way to the Territory—and the One with Duties—that she knew-but-didn't. She would go through her Game in that area, getting closer to that Roleholder and, as they became closer, remembering things that hadn't happened that round. Then, when her vial was just drops away from being completely full, she would remember everything from every Game she had played thus far…she would choose a new person to know, to care for, to become close to and study and love.

Then Alice would see Madison, smiling and giggling and waving, and she would be falling with Peter White down the Rabbit Hole anew.

"Are you having fun, Miss Alice?" Speak of the flame-eyed girl, and thus shall she appear with a smile and a giggle. "I've been watching you all this time! You really do like all of them, don't you? I'm so happy~ You seem so happy~"

"Madison," said Alice softly, a bit unhappily. "Hello. It's nice to speak with you again…"

Little Madison's grin fell into a concerned frown. "Miss Alice? You're so happy every time you play…why aren't you happy now?"

Alice couldn't help but smile faintly at the obvious concern radiating from her young companion. "I am very, very happy each time I play." Madison began to beam again only to stop at Alice's sigh and next words. "But when it's over, and I reflect…I miss them even more." Thin arms clad in long and billowing sleeves wrapped around a small but firm chest and Alice exhaled again at the golden lizard insignias sewn into her favorite garment from the last Game she was in, a long blue-grey dress that matched Gray's favorite suit to perfection, gifted as a joke from Nightmare but treasured all the same. "I love them so much and learn so much about them, and then…they're ripped away and I force myself to move on to another…but now I have loved and been loved by them all.

"What's next?" she wondered aloud, not ignoring Madison but more speaking her thoughts in hopes to get the young child's opinion/help. "I couldn't stand to go to one a second time, only to lose them again…and if I chose none of them, then what happens? Does the cycle restart completely? Do I not remember any of the Games? What if I accidentally fall in love again, with any one? It would…I don't even know anymore, Madison." She sighed louder and her head drooped. "I can't bear to replace my memories of their love only to lose each one over again…"

"You just want to remember?" asked Madison with honest confusion. She smiled her brilliant buck-toothed smile. "I can do that, Miss Alice! All you had to do is ask!"

Alice's jaw abruptly dropped. "Wh-what?! You mean…seriously!?"

Madison giggled noisily, the sound like glass gears churning against each other. "Of course! After all, Miss Alice, I don't want you to be sad~ I love you too much!"

Thankfully Madison honestly didn't mean that in a romantic way. Alice still remembered how awkward it was with her Game alongside the Bloody Twins when half the time they were a solid ten years younger than her…she was many things, and had become many things throughout her various Games, but she was not a pedophile. And unlike the Twins, Madison genuinely was the age she looked and didn't change at all.

Madison's bright grin drooped and she tapped her chin with a chubby little finger. "But that doesn't help with the romance thing, huh, Miss Alice?" she mused aloud. "You love them all soooo much…it'd hurt if you remember and they never did…" The small girl fell silent before her eyes lit up and she let out a small shriek of joy. "Oh, I know! I know! I'll help them remember, too!"

"Really!?" cried out Alice, her heart lifting. Her family, her loves, remembering her…as she remembered them? Caring for her as they did before? Loving her so purely and genuinely caring for her happiness as she did theirs?!

As if sensing her thoughts Madison smiled, but it was a little sad. "I can try, Alice, but it'll be hard…I can set the trigger, but only you can make them push it."

"What?" Alice blinked rapidly in confusion. "How…what?!"

Madison giggled. "You'll have to figure it out for yourseeeellllf~!" Alice sulked a bit and Madison giggled louder. "Hey, don't look so down! I've got juuuust enough power for one freebee!" Skipping, Madison made her way to Alice's side and gave the elder girl a large and somewhat wet kiss on the cheek. Alice jerked in surprise and grimaced at the spit now on her face; Madison outright laughed this time as she pranced back. "There you go! You get one freebee! Instead of having to trigger yourself, for one person, you just gotta kiss 'em," Madison slapped her cheeks and made an exaggerated smooching sound, "on the forehead! Then poof! They'll remember!"

"That's it?" asked Alice, incredulous.

"That's it! But only for one…the others'll take time and effort and lots and lots of luck~"

Alice beamed thankfully at her young friend. "Oh, Madison…thank you so much. You've made me the most happy since the first time I met you!"

Madison's hands rose to cover her giggle. "You're very welcome, Miss Alice! Just remember, that kiss'll only work once, on one person, so think carefully before you use it~!" The world promptly began to wobble familiarly and Madison gave a cheerful wave. "Buh-bye! Good luuuuuck!"

Alice fell down the rabbit hole, Peter White clutching her around the waist, looking far too cheerful. But this time was different. This time, Alice remembered.

Just in time to black out from the fall for the 15th time in her life.

"Dammit, Peter," groaned Alice when she woke, reaching up to rub at her forehead, "you always drop me at the last moment…you big, fluffy jerk…"

Alice continued to grumble to herself for a bit before the reality of the situation hit her. Her bright blue eyes went wide in shock. "Oh, god," she breathed, shaking slightly as she looked around, "I…I remember…" She opened and closed her mouth a few times before smiling so joyfully she was sure everyone in Wonderland could feel her elation. "Oh, Madison, you beautiful girl! You're the best!"

There was no response, but Alice wasn't expecting one; she climbed to her feet and dusted off the dirt on her behind, grimacing at her dress in the process. In her many Games she had found many different styles to wear and try and like and hate…the dress she began in, the horrid blue thing that was a remnant from her old world, was probably her least favorite of the bunch. Not only was it nauseatingly childish, but it also represented the world she had abandoned for Wonderland, one that she didn't want to think of again except to occasionally remember and be thankful for her beautiful, wonderful "Sunday Afternoon."

Shaking her head, Alice quickly began to mutter to herself as she was wont to do. "I don't need to think about my fashion, I need to think about what I'm going to do first!" She reached up to touch the cheek that little Madison had kissed just before she began the Game again. "I only have one 'freebee', as Madison called it…so I only have one person to remember with no fuss. But who should I chose? Probably someone who was hardest to convince I loved and he could love back…"

Each Game, in case some have not yet caught on, Alice had chosen a different person to learn as much about as possible. These games all inevitably ended in love, true, deep love as Alice recognized and accepted all of these persons as they were and visa-versa. Some were easier than others—Peter White, of course, instantly accepted and recuperated her feelings and most of the time before they became lovers was with Alice trying to understand and eventually love him back—and those that were hard were truly hard—Boris, interestingly enough, had been so insecure it took almost three-fourths the time Alice was in that Game to establish a stable and trustworthy relationship between them…but who had been the hardest to woo…?

A flash of crimson and black. A cold smile and a dark scowl. Laughter and screams. A love that took almost a complete Game to give and gain. Yet at the end, it had been worth it for the most protective lover she could have possibly asked for, willing to lay everything on the line to keep his "beautiful, broken toy" safe and happy. Plus, he'd been one of her best physical lovers to date, which would be wonderful to help her unwind from the inevitable stress she was going to face to bring all of them back into her life.

"Well then," whispered Alice, smiling in delight as she started off into the forest around her, "to the Circus it is."

Watching from afar, Madison Drake let out a huff of a laugh and smiled indulgently at her dear Alice. That girl was something, to be sure. "But still," said Madison aloud, grinning saccharinely, "I can't let it be too easy…I believe I know of at least one Roleholder who would love to sink her frumious jaws into this…"

(In another Country, surrounded by snow and little else, a furry head rose and let out a guttural roar that could be felt across Realms. The Bandersnatch was hungry, and only flesh would sate it.)

Loops and Love

The Circus was as breathtaking as Alice remembered. Colorful and bright, full of life and joy, it felt like coming home; of warmth and love and everything else she held dear. She breathed in the air around her and smiled so broadly she thought her face would break.

The only thing missing, she mused as she began to wander, was her favorite Jester/Warden. Where in Wonderland could he possibly be?

The big tent? No, just a few kids practicing their tightrope act (she pretended she didn't see one fall to the ground and break into bits as she left).

The animal cages? No, just the normal tigers and bears and elephants and bunnies (the last for the magic tricks, of course, and possibly for the nearby tigers to eat when they got hungry/bored).

The…personal tent of his? No, just clothes and a bed and a few spare whips and crops (ecstasy and pain and ecstasy and pain and ecstasy and ohgodwhyhadntsheever whyhadshedoubted ohgoditwas absolutely ).

The Jail…?

"Excuse me, young miss," a familiar voice said with just the faintest hints of steel from over her shoulder, "but who are you and where are you going?"

Alice paused before entering the tent that hid the normal, non-Joker-aided passageway/staircase to the Jail and whirled on her heel. A wide smile pulled her lips as she recognized the form of her beloved Joker—specifically his Jester half, which she had nicknamed White so long ago. She had become so very embarrassed of that by the end of their time together but he had assured he found it endearing and then begun listing off humiliating nicknames for her that he could use amid gales of laughter from his Warden half, nicknamed Black, and her own bright red blush.

"Oh?" White blinked before his mouth stretched into a smile of his own that was part mocking and part amused, hiding the calculated malice deep within at the thought of a new piece he could "control". "A fresh Roleholder? Or, perhaps…?"

"I'm a Foreigner, actually," said Alice. She couldn't seem to stop smiling at her love, so familiar and so comfortable even though he clearly didn't know who she was. Yet. "My name is Alice Liddell. It's nice to meet you."

She curtsied and White quickly stooped into a bow with a doff of his jester cap, which jingled merrily as it moved. "Wonderful to meet you, as well, my dear! My name is Joker, and this is my Circus."

"It's a very beautiful circus." White positively preened at the praise and, stifling a giggle, Alice continued. "Will you show me around? Please? I'd love to see all you have!"

White laughed and patted her head gently, but condescendingly. "I'm afraid not, Miss Alice. That would ruin the fun for when the Circus truly begins!"

Alice made a show of pouting. "How sad," she lamented before allowing her eyes to gleam. "…Mr. Joker, I heard from the other 'Ones with Duties' that you like games, don't you?"

"Of course!" White exclaimed. "After all, games always seem to put a smile on people's faces, and that is the job of a Jester such as I~"

"What about…bets?"

White's gaze sharpened even though his smile didn't falter. "Oh? Do you wish to bet on something, Miss Alice? We have only just met!"

"Yes, I do," agreed Alice. "You see, I would really love to see your circus in more detail, but you don't seem to want to show me…so why don't we play a game? If I win, you spend the day showing me around the circus. If you win…hmm." She put a hand to her lips. "Oh. I don't know if there's anything you would want…I didn't think this through, did I?"

"If you truly want to bet," purred White, "then I have a suggestion. If I win, then you will do me the honor of staying within and helping around the Circus during your time here…assuming you don't already have a place to stay?"

Alice smiled. Gotcha. "No, not yet. That sounds like a perfectly fair bet to me, Mr. Joker."

White's eye shut to hide the pleased malice within it, even though Alice already knew it was there. "Well, then. What game did you have in mind, Miss Alice?"

"Blackjack." White's favorite card game and, sure enough, the Jester instantly agreed. "Alright. Where shall we play?"

"Right here," said White and with a sweep of his hand, a table and two chairs materialized in the middle of the path before the tent to the Jail. His favorite deck of cards appeared between slim fingers and he made a show of shuffling them. "Are you ready to begin?"

"Always," said Alice, her eyes hooded. White only paused an instant before dealing.

The game had begun.

…and subsequently ended with White looking stunned and almost horrified.

"I…how did you do that?" asked White, honestly taken aback. Alice smiled innocently as she tapped the perfect 21 sitting in front of her, the second win of three rounds as was agreed when first the cards were dealt.

"Lady Luck," said Alice, smiling wistfully, "seems to take a particular interest in my life…both good, and bad. I'm just glad that this time it was good." And that I would have 'won' either way, so there was no way she/it could screw me over. For now.

"Seriously? You fuckin' lost?" Black jeered through the mask at White's hip. Alice couldn't quite stifle her smile at the familiar voice, only slightly gruffer than White's and with a metallic tone from the mechanics/distance but just as familiar and comforting despite the constant cursing. "Way to be a complete screw up, Joker!"

"How rude, Joker," said White, finally shaking himself from his minor stupor to scold his other half. "I can't help the way the cards fall."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Alice asked with fake surprise. White blinked before turning to her and smiling.

"Ah, how rude of me! I didn't bother to explain! You see, as I am Joker…" He gestured to the mask. "…he is also Joker!"

"Damn straight," huffed Black.

Alice couldn't help herself. She knew, from her Game with Joker, that the mask was directly connected to him in seeing, hearing…feeling. So with that in mind and before White could stop her, she crouched down and using the tip of her nail tapped the cheek of the mask. White jerked in surprise.

"Ack! What the fuck—?!"

"You've got a bad mouth, Other Joker," she scolded lightly even as she struggled to hide her laughter. "You shouldn't curse around a lady."

She tapped the mask a little more forcefully.

"OW! Stop that! !"

"Ah, Miss Alice, you should probably stop," White said even though he, too, was trying not to laugh. "I don't think Joker appreciates it much."

"'Course I don't!" spluttered Black. Alice poked him hard in the "forehead" one last time before giggling and standing amongst Black's annoyed curses.

"Fine," she said with a pout, "I'll stop. But he's very rude none-the-less." Her gaze turned a bit sly and nostalgic. "You should get him a muzzle."

"I'LL SHOW YOU MUZZLE YOU CRAZY BIMMPHMMRPH? ! ! ?"

White laughed nervously as he covered the mouth of the mask. "Ah," he breathed, not moving his hand as Black continued to make loud noises and undoubtedly cursed Alice, her mother, her father, Alice, her non-existent brother, her friends, Alice, her sister (that one hurt a little to think about), her pets, Alice…and so on. "A-anyway, I promised you an escort around my Circus, didn't I?" He held out his free arm gentlemanly and gave a soft, genuine smile. "Please allow me to do so now."

Alice couldn't help but smile back at the familiar gesture and gently took his elbow in her small hands. He dwarfed her by a solid foot and was half-uncouth/half-insincere with strangers and considerably dangerous, but she knew him so very well and couldn't help but trust him. He was, under his prickly exterior, her darling Joker.

She simply needed an opening to show/remind him of that…

Loops and Love

Between White's proud commentary and explanations and Black's bitter/sarcastic remarks, Alice's day of being escorted around the Circus was relaxingly familiar. Now if only White would let her get close enough to finally kiss his forehead! The whole day, Alice kept an eye out for an opening, but as she remembered White was very physically reserved despite his open-seeming personality. Even her walking too close made him subtly move away and put space between them; the only thing he didn't object to was the hands on his arm and, even then, he didn't offer it again after she let go early on in the tour.

Honestly, the whole situation was getting very irritating by the time it became a Night Period.

"Oh, my!" exclaimed White as he stopped midway through introducing Alice to the two large tigers—one a snowy white female, the other a traditionally colored male—he kept. "I didn't realize how long we'd been walking! You must be tired, my dear…" He looked over Alice with a smile and a glint of a plot developing in his eye. "I know you won our little bet, but would you object to staying here for the night? I simply couldn't allow such a lovely young woman to wander alone in the darkness."

Alice bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smirking. "I don't know," she said, pretending to be nervous about the idea, "I mean, I don't even know you very well…"

"Then know me better, slut~" said Black with a slight purr to his voice. The world began to shutter, freezing Joker in place as he changed Realms, and Alice took her chance; without hesitation she reached forward to grip White by the back of his neck and yank him toward her. She tried hard not to notice his wide, anxious, angry stare and instead focused on his forehead.

Her lips touched his skin just as the world completely changed and Joker was free to look at her with murder in his eyes at the perceived attempt at harm.

Madison hadn't said the period of time Alice had to kiss her target's forehead before the magic took effect. The young Foreigner really, really hoped it didn't take long—her eyelids were shut tight in preparation of Joker yanking her off of White, locking her in a cell, beating her and torturing her cruelly for daring to lay hands on him in any way that was even marginally threatening—

Sure enough, four hands grabbed her arms and moved her as predicted. But instead of being harsh, grabbing, yanking, instead they were gentle, soft, tugging. As soon as her lips left the smooth skin of White's forehead Alice cautiously peeked out from behind lidded eyes.

Joker was standing side-by-side, staring at her, looking confused and yet entranced. "Alice?" he asked at once, bewildered, his voices blending familiarly. The tension instantly drained from Alice and she gave him a brilliant smile while tears of relief began to cloud her vision.

"Black, White," she whispered before, a bit more forcefully, "Joker."

She was crushed back to White's chest in an instant, Black wrapping his arms around from behind so she was sandwiched between his two selves. The tears fell almost immediately when faced with the comforting embrace and she sobbed into the smooth grey material of White's shirt and red kerchief, reaching up to grab one of each half's arms and clutch them tightly. Thank god, it had worked…he was here…her Joker was here, with her, without the pressing of time swiftly ticking away…

She blubbered between sobs, crying out nonsense about how much she had missed him, about how lost she had felt, about how glad she was that it had worked. Lightly, a large hand that was only faintly calloused from gripping whips and practicing tricks ran through her hair, both sides of Joker quiet as he simply let her vent.

Alice remembered—a hysterical laugh bubbled in her throat—she remembered when she had first broken down around Joker. It had been while in the Prison, shortly after one of the inmates somehow got free of his cell and was inches away from raping her. Her dress had been scrunched up, the inmate had his pants down and was literally just about to yank her underwear away as she screamed and cried. The Warden had left less than ten minutes before, claiming a lunch break, and she hadn't expected him to be back for quite a while yet…

Yet Black had shown up, a metaphorical black-knight in tarnished armor, yanking the thing off her and snapping the inmate's neck in the process. Alice had found herself unable to care, too busy crying in continued fear mingled with new relief; Black had flailed around for a while, unsure, trying to figure out what to do about her. Eventually he had thrown up his hands in defeat and yanked down her skirt to its proper place before giving her the single most awkward, stiff hug of her life (possibly excepting her first hugs with Julius in various Games).

That had been one of the first major stepping stones in their relationship and despite the horrid circumstances, Alice was thankful that this inmate had been such a horrible perverted pig.

Eventually Alice calmed down enough that Joker felt able to gently move so she was staring into White's confused expression.

"Alice," he muttered, "what's going on?"

"Seriously," added Black, appearing in her peripheral vision, brows drawn together. As usual he gave off an air of anger in the face of confusion. "What the fuck. Last thing I remember, you were crying over your damn vial, then,"

"You just disappeared." Black's grip on her tightened from behind at the thought and White's long fingers reached up to tenderly touch her cheek as if to reassure she was there. "And then…you're kissing my forehead, and I've never met you before today."

"It's a long story," Alice said softly, still sniffling while White indulgently wiped away what evidence remained of her weeping from her face. She couldn't help but grimace and blush once she noticed a nice-sized spot of tears and snot on the front of his shirt. Oh, how embarrassing…

"We have time," said White with a faint smile. Alice barely hesitated another moment before launching into an explanation.

She thought it would be awkward, to admit to one of her lovers that she had focused on and taken others during her many Games. It wasn't that she was ashamed—how could she be ashamed of her heart?—but rather that it was certainly a strange situation, even for her. Add in the unpredictable nature of most of her loves and suddenly Alice was lost in a world of emotions and reactions that could probably get pretty violent (and was practically guaranteed for some of them, such as Peter and the surprisingly-ish possessive Gray), not to mention the inevitable jealousy from many (Blood still had a habit of accusing her of being a two-timing slut when he was insecure and Boris was self-doubting all the time so this probably wouldn't help) and the possible anger at her (why did she think of Pierce of all people?!).

Yet White's face remained steady before her the whole time through. His gaze flickered in occasional annoyance or anger, but for the most part he simply watched her and offered a slight, reassuring smile when she was particularly uncomfortable or insecure. Black was flexing his arms whenever he was unhappy with something but also kept uncharacteristically silent until:

"So you're sayin'," he finally said at the end, voice dropping an octave, "that we've gotta share you now?" White grimaced and Alice hurriedly glanced away, careful not to look at either half of Joker. He easily read her answer by this simple action. "Fuckin' shit—!"

"Now, Joker," said White reproachfully, "calm down. Alice clearly does care for them all deeply and is not the type to simply abandon us for one of the others. If this is what she wants, and she can guarantee not to leave us, I don't see why we should stop her happiness." Blue orbs jerked up to look at red with gratitude but Alice faltered somewhat at the dangerous promising gleam in White's eye. "However, we do have a while until any others join us…"

The hair on Alice's neck stood on end and she shivered violently while Joker let out twin dark laughs full of promise.

Hours later as Alice laid in bed with her Jokers on either side, White stretched out beside her with an arm slung over her naked breasts and Black curled around her hip with his head on her chest that shook with his faint huffing snores, she let a content smile curl her kissed-red lips.

It was truly nice to be home.

-END-

MKL's Post-Production Notes (12-30-13): Phew! And there you have the first chapter, ending on a beautifully steamy note~ ;) I chose Joker to "revive"/"remind" first for the same reasons Alice mentioned, namely what a pain in the ass he'd be if she didn't use the freebee. It was her logical progression of thoughts...as well as mine-for my own sake as much as hers, haha. Joker would totally get in the way on purpose if he didn't have this direct tie to Alice and I don't need an antagonist other than the ones I have planned thankyouverymuch!

I'm sure some of you are curious as to where this idea came from, and the answer is that I've always been a fan of harem fics, and the no Kuni no Alice series is perfect grounds for one...yet no one seems to have thought of doing it yet! I mean, sure, we've got two or three guys with Alice at a time...but I haven't seen ALL of them yet! So here you go~ For my enjoyment and yours~

If you have any ideas, feel free to share! I already have much of the story planned out but could always use smaller scenes/plotpoints to go between the guys being "revived" and space it out a bit. Also, I love hearing my readers' predictions, so share those as well! Until next time, everyone~ ^w^