As always, much love and good karma to my fabulous beta Professional Tsundere!
Chapter 2: When The Lights Go Out
Alone and with nothing but a helmet-free view of the aging red giant star before him, former Freelance Agent Washington let out a contented sigh and took a moment to revel exactly in what he was right now: alone and with nothing but the view of a giant red star before him. Ever since he'd ended up with the Red and Blue simulation troopers, peaceful moments alone like these had become a rarity for him.
With any luck, I'll have at least a few moments of peace and quiet before Caboose comes looking for me again, Wash thought as he leaned back against the wall of the of the observation alcove.
Somewhere behind him, he could hear the dull clank of footsteps, and judging by the lack of bickering, rambling, or ranting, he could safely narrow down who it was, but he still glanced at the reflection in his visor to confirm that it was indeed Agent Carolina striding towards him, her own helmet nestled in the crook of her arm and her tomato-red bangs covering part of her face.
"Find out anything new?" Wash asked as he swung himself around to face her.
"From our rescuers?" She paused to set her helmet down next to Wash's. "Nothing that contradicts anything Epsilon's already dug up from their systems."
"And what has he discovered?" Wash asked with a expectant glance down at Carolina's helmet, where, sure enough, Epsilon's hologram flashed into view and looked up at the both of them.
"Well, when Carolina started asking about how they heard our distress signal, she got the feeling that they weren't being entirely truthful with her when they answered," he began as brought up a second hologram of scrolling zeros and ones. "They claim that they 'just happened'" -he continued with air quotes- "-to be in the area, but when I tried to access their computer systems, I found this-" he finished with a jerk of his head towards the scrolling code.
"-Encryption that he claims resembles the Project Freelancer code," Carolina finished.
Wash raised his eyebrows at Carolina, who answered him with a silent confirmatory nod. "Project Freelancer? I thought the Chairman confiscated all gear from the Mother of Invention during the investigation."
"Not all of it," Carolina answered. "Before Epsilon and I left, we learned that there were other Project Freelancer facilities still online, but the someone must've pre-programmed FILISS to delete all records of their locations if anyone besides the Director himself tried to enter."
"I've tried every key I could think of, but they're not working…and it's almost like they expected an AI to try and hack it, as it keeps trying to infect me with some sort of virus every time I think I've made a breakthrough-oh goddamnit, not again-" he cursed as his hologram disappeared from view and the scrolling code went blank.
"Wash and Carolina briefly exchanged concerns looks before Wash watched Carolina snatch up her helmet up and turned it so that the visor looked up at them. "Epsilon?" Carolina asked, her voice rising. "Epsilon, can you hear me?"
"Has this happened before?" Wash asked.
"Yes, but he's always been able-"
"-been able to beat it?" Epsilon answered as he reappeared. "Yeah, sorry about that, that attack took a little bit more processing power…think I'm okay now, though."
"You sure?" The panicked woman from moments before disappeared and was replaced by her usual confident demeanor.
"Positive."
Epsilon brought up the ship's schematics and highlighted a portion near the stern. "Got the codes to the cargo bay!"
"Any idea what's in there?" Carolina asked.
"Based on what I had to get through to crack these codes, something reeaaaaaally valuable? Can't seem to find any record of a inventory on the main computers…"
Carolina smiled. "You up for a little exploring?"
"Yup…but we're probably gonna need a little help from the others," Epsilon said as both he and Carolina turned to face him. Wash sighed, because after Epsilon and Carolina's outburst in the Red's hologram room, he knew damn well that they didn't feel comfortable asking them without the help of the Freelancer Agent who hadn't pointed a gun at Tucker.
So much for my peace and quiet, Wash thought as he reached for his own helmet and slid it back over his head while he answered "Got a plan, boss?"
As the trio approached their current sleeping quarters, Church decided to take a break from trying to decrypt the rest of the ship's security codes so he could focus on forming a plan for infiltrating the cargo bay. Sure, he and Carolina could manage it with Carolina's camouflage abilities alone, but after the run-in with the virus, he didn't want to take any chances, not to mention he was still running checks on both his and Carolina's systems to ensure complete erasure of the virus.
"I'm fine, Epsilon," she muttered after his third full-systems check, which involved a reboot of her heads-up display and an armor lock-and-shutdown. (Wash had gone on ahead to try to talk the Reds and Blues into helping them get into the cargo bay.) Seriously, there's nothing wrong with my armor, she thought as he temporarily disabled her radio.
"Yeah, well I'll be the judge of that," he snapped back as her armor unlocked. "Whoever is behind this operation was either a Freelancer or worked closely with them…and honestly, I'm lucky I stopped whatever they made from spreading to the rest of your armor in the first place."
Carolina laughed. "You truly are my father's AI, aren't you?"
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
A quiet chuckle from her. "You know exactly what it means," she answered as they stopped in the doorway. True to their roots, the team had already set up their "bases" in sides of the room, which had involved rearranging some furniture (Church guessed that Caboose's freakish strength had been utilized to knock over the lockers) to suit their preferences, and the result was a haphazard arrangement of tables, lockers, chairs and footlockers that definitely hadn't been there when they had first boarded the ship. The Reds (Donut, Simmons, Grif, and Sarge) were huddled around an open footlocker and talking amongst themselves, while Tucker, Doc, and Caboose appeared to be listening to Wash, who sounded like he was explaining the tail end of the plan.
"-so I'd really appreciate it if you guys could create a few distractions for them-oh, they're here," he finished as he caught sight of Carolina.
Church thought about making some sort of comment about her being just as unruly now as she was when she was a teenager, but decided against it and went with "Evening, assholes," as his greeting to the rest of his teammates.
"Evening, yourself, blue-tard," Sarge grunted without looking up "Simmons, you find what you need in there?"
"Just about, sir," Simmons answered as he pulled out what looked like a motherboard and cooling fans. "All I need now is the software."
"Speaking of software…" Grif said as he held up a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew, "How much damage do you think this could do if I accidentally spilled it all over something?"
"Well, if you spray it all over the instruments, I'm sure it'll cause quite the-OOOF"
"DO NOT finish the sentence, Donut," Sarge snapped as he shoved a can of diesel fuel into Donut's chest, which momentarily silenced him.
Carolina was temporarily dumbstruck by the flurry of activity in front of her. They're actually eager to help us? Why? Less than a week ago I nearly shot the green one for refusing to help us find the Director, but give them all the opportunity to sabotage an entire ship and they jump into action?
This is what we do best, Carolina: fuck shit up, Church answered. He turned his attention to the Blues. "Alright, sounds like the Reds have their plan. Blue team, you gonna let the Reds show us up?"
"Eh…I was just gonna wing it and hit on the pilot," Tucker began with a shrug as he holstered his sword on his side.
"'Wing it?'" Carolina asked.
"Sounds like a plan," Church cut Carolina off before she could comment further. "Alright, that leaves Caboose, Wash, and Doc."
"Oh, oh, Doc and I were planning to blow-"
"DONUT!" Grif and Simmons interjected.
"-them away with a rousing-
"Seriously, enough with the the double entedres!" Simmons pleaded.
"-Broadway performance!" Doc finished, ignoring the protests and groans of the orange and maroon simulation troopers.
If he was a human, Church figured he'd be blinking and speechless like Carolina right now, but he'd actually heard Donut's rendition of "Today For You", and it would definitely keep anyone distracted long enough for him and Carolina to sneak past the door guards. Instead, he nodded, turned to Doc and said, "Doc, help him stretch. Last time he did that song he almost twisted his ankle during his tap-dance routine."
"You got it, Church!" Doc answered cheerfully as he went over to Donut's side, leaving Caboose and Wash.
"Wash?" Carolina asked.
"I'm going up to the engine room with the Reds. There's a weak point there that I can exploit," he answered as he reached over his shoulder and grabbed his rifle.
"What about me, Church?" a forlorn Caboose asked from the corner.
"Caboose, we saved the most important job just for you!"
Epsilon… Carolina began.
We need his strength, Carolina…and honestly, he might really fuck things up for the others if I don't bring him with us, Church replied. Carolina answered this with a derisive snort, but refrained from further comment. Proceeding as if nothing had happened, Church turned his attention back to the Reds and Blues. "Alright, assholes, we move in five. Sync?"
"Sync!" chorused the others, plus a delayed "Refrigerator," from Caboose.
"Hey Wash?" Tucker's voice crackled over the radio as Wash, Grif, and Simmons made their way towards the ship's navigation center. (Tucker had split off from them to head up to the bridge.)
"Yes, Tucker?" Wash answered.
"You mind telling us what Carolina's really up to?"
Wash sighed. "I already told you, Tucker: Carolina and Church think this ship stole Freelancer equipment-",
"-and my Grifshot!" Grif interjected, referring to the fact that Agent Maine's Covenant weapon had been confiscated from him the moment the group had set foot on the vessel.
"-but she needs access to the cargo bay in order to confirm it."
"Really? That's it?"
"Yes, Tucker, that's it."
A pause. "She's already killed the Director and the UNSC has already confiscated most of Project Freelancer property, not to mention they probably have a warrant out for your arrest. Why the hell should we care about a couple pieces of equipment?"
Another sigh, but the radio crackled to life before Wash could form an answer. "Actually, we didn't kill him, but we don't have time to go into that now." Church answered, "But to answer your question, we'd rather not see this equipment fall into the hands of space pirates, which is where I suspect it's going. So for once in your life, shut up and follow orders? Got it?"
Wash made a mental note to thank Epsilon later as he checked his HUD map for Tucker's location. "Tucker, you're right outside the bridge. You remember your plan?"
"Yeah, yeah, I remember my plan. Tucker out," he replied as his outgoing radio clicked off.
"Can't understand why he's cranky," Grif muttered. "All he has to do is stand around and bullshit with the bridge crew while we try to break stuff in restricted areas," he finished with a loud belch. "Also, he doesn't have to waste a perfectly good bottle of LiveWire Mountain Dew." He sighed forlornly as he took another sip.
"Do I even want to know how long you've been holding onto these bottle?" Wash asked.
"No. You don't," Simmons answered. Wash simply shook his head as he and the Reds stopped outside Navigation. "Here we are, Grif. You ready to commence Operation…?" Simmons added with a questioning glance at Wash.
Thankful that the simulation troopers couldn't see him rolling his eyes behind his helmet, Wash simply said the first two words that entered his mind. "Red Dawn," he replied with the tiniest bit of sarcasm. (Back in the 1980s, there was a movie where a bunch of high school kids who referred to themselves as the Wolverines had fought off a Russian invasion on American soil. Wash couldn't help but sometimes compare the simulation troopers to Wolverines, who always seemed to overcome the odds and succeed, even if their opponents were better trained.) "So named for the brilliant members of Red Team who helped make this mission possible."
"An operation named after us? What could possibly go wrong?" Sarge chirped cheerfully over the radio.
Quite possibly everything, Wash thought as he quickly made his way back towards Sarge.
"Everyone in position?" Church asked as he and Carolina peeked around the corner to visualize their targets: two guards posted outside of two large cargo bay doors.
"These boys won't know what hit them!" Donut replied as the faint jingle of sleigh bells and click of tap shoes could be heard in the background.
"So, what do I do again?" Caboose asked for what might have been the tenth time in ten minutes.
"You're going to hang out with us, silly!" Donut chirped cheerfully.
"You think you can jump to him in time?" Carolina asked as she clicked off her radio.
"Can you handle knocking out two guards without the assistance of an AI?" Church shot back.
Carolina smiled. "Watch me," she answered as she slipped around the corner.
"Alright, Donut, break a leg!" Church ordered. Seconds later, the click of tap shoes on metal echoed down the hall. Predictably, the guards looked up and saw their new visitors: Donut, who had artfully draped the Red team's flag around him to resemble some sort of toga and had modified the bottom of his boots to make them act and sound like tap shoe. (Doc was hidden out of sight just around the corner.) Caboose, on the other hand, was still in full armor and standing perfectly still, which, considering Caboose, was an accomplishment in itself.
I still don't understand where these guys get this stuff from, Carolina mused as she noiselessly closed the distance between her and the guards as Donut struck a pose and hit them with his opening line: "Today for you-"
It's Donut. He's always had this thing for fashion design-
"Tomorrow for me!" Carolina's eyes stayed focused on the guards, but Church was getting an eyeful of the beginning of Donut's song and dance routine.
-plus, we all had to find ways to pass the time in Blood Gulch.
"It was my lucky day today on Avenue A-"
Whatever, she answered as came to a stop right behind the guards, who seemed transfixed at the oddly-clothed simulation troopers standing in front of them. You ready?
"-when a lady in limousine-"
On your mark, Church responded to as he set a target to Caboose's AI slot.
"MARK!" Carolina cried out as she drove her fist into the helmet of the first guard and Church simeltanously made his jump to Caboose's armor. Within milliseconds, he gained full control of Caboose's armor and directed a punch to the helmet of the second guard before Caboose even realized he'd been possessed. Carolina's guard went flying into Donut and Caboose's guard dropped to floor with small outcries of pain, but a quick vitals scan revealed that they were only stunned.
Good, he thought.
Church? Caboose had finally caught on to what had just happened.
Hey, buddy…I need to borrow your body for a moment, okay? Don't tell Tucker.
A pause. Okay, Church.
Church's mention of Tucker brought a memory of a conversation between Caboose and Tucker from their days in Blood Gulch canyon. "Caboose, that's why I always liked you-everything falls into two categories: either you don't understand it, or you just don't care."
"Yeah, I don't know what you mean by that, but I guess it doesn't matter."
Ah, Caboose, Church thought to himself as he forced himself to stay as far as possible from any more of Caboose's memories or interpretations of events and people.
"Nice work," Carolina complimented as she repositioned herself in front of a control console and quickly tapped in the cargo bay codes. "Donut, get in!"
"Aw, do I have to?" Donut whined while he held up the other guard. "I was just getting-"
"NOW, DONUT," Carolina and a deeper-voiced Caboose snapped in unison as the cargo bay doors slid open. "Wash, cut the power!" Seconds later, the entire hall went dark, which was promptly followed by a girlish shriek from Donut. Church couldn't see her face, but he'd wager a new body that she wore her usual annoyed expression.
Church threw Caboose between the cargo bay doors and braced them open. "Doc," Carolina barked as she grabbed the leg of Church's guard and began dragging him into the cargo bay, "Get the other one!"
Doc was facing the second guard and had begun scanning it with the glowing green tool of his while Donut tried (rather unsuccessfully) to disentangle his improvised flag-toga from the guard's armor. "But I have to check his-"
Without hesitation, Carolina dropped her guard's leg, snatched her grappling hook off her belt, and aimed it at the second guard, where it narrowly missed Doc's foot and wrapped around the guard's leg. "In-" she began curtly as the wire went taunt, "-here-" -the hook retracted and pulled the guard and entangled Donut toward her. As Donut and the guard slid across the floor, they were yanked right under the still-startled Doc, who promptly toppled over on top of Donut and the guard. - "NOW," she finished, her tone dripping with annoyance after the trio slid to a stop. She engaged the hook's release, retracted the wire, and re-aimed it at Caboose "Epsilon?"
Church turned Caboose's head towards Carolina and nodded, as Caboose's arms were beginning to shake. Church had seen his fair share of door malfunctions on the Mother of Invention where doors unexpectedly slammed shut on soldiers and amputated their unarmored limbs, so the fact that Caboose had been able to hold them on this long was a testament to Caboose's strength.
Church? How much long-"GAH!" Caboose finished aloud as Carolina's hook closed around his upper thigh and immediately yanked him into the room. While Caboose was still in mid-pull, Church took the opportunity to jump back to Carolina's AI slot, who didn't even flinch as re-integrated himself with her suit.
"Uhhgg…" Church moaned as he projected himself onto everyone's visors and heard Caboose land on top of the Doc/Donut/guard dog pile, which caused all parties involve to utter pained grunts. "I forgot how much I hate going in there. I swear I lose IQ points each minute I'm in there"
"Wasn't it your idea to use him?" Carolina answered as she re-holstered her hook and turned to survey the cargo bay's interior.
"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in," he snapped back as the other three slowly got to their feet with assorted moans and groans.
The corners of Carolina's mouth twitched upwards as she reached her hand up to engage her radio. "We're in, Wash. Commencing Phase 2," she said as they began scanning the nearest box.
"Roger, boss," Wash crackled.
Board's Note: Between working part-time and nursing school, I'll probably only be able update this story at least once a month, but possibly twice a month if I stay faithful to my time commitment for Tumblr user Thieving Hippo's creativity challenge.
