She has been longing for a feeling of normalcy for as long as she remembered, so when things in her life finally started to resemble all those things that she wished for, she almost forgot to take notice.
Broken hearts are normal. Love affairs happen daily. Being wanted and want back in return really isn't that revolutionary.
Sex is normal. But it isn't some magical switch that can make things right just by putting right parts of body in appropriate places.
Also – thinking that someone's finally right for you, only to find out that the way their body lays in to yours makes you want to die, in the bad way. So you nearly fall off a cliff trying to escape it, all the while thinking it must be your fault. Things like that happened before.
In all reality, Franky understands that being normal isn't something that can be achieved overnight. What she's trying to do is lay down the foundations. It may not work out every time, and sure, there are things that are bound to get cocked up in the way. Getting there slowly is what fits her more.
So she tries to hang out with Matty as much as she can. It's nice. They're of the same texture, her and Matty. He plays her music and they smoke for hours, getting lost outside and inside of their heads. Whatever shit comes out her mouth doesn't seem strange at all.
She still doesn't want to touch him, though. That's also alright.
When she's not with Matty, she's spending time with her other friends. Lately, Mini has been organising parties that seem to exclude Matty one way or another. From your standard girls' nights out to homemade parties with invitations that get lost in the post, Mini seems to go out of her way to ensure their time together is as free of him as possible.
It makes Franky feel curious. She's not imaging things, she thinks.
Especially not after Liv notices it. Rather loudly. It's just the three of them then, Liv and her and Mini (lately, Mini is always somewhere nearby Franky), but when Liv casually asks her about it, Mini smiles in a rather peculiar way. Like she knows that Liv's already aware of the answer. Still, she says that it's for Liv's sake, of course. She knows how hard it is to be around your exes so soon after breakup.
At that, Liv only snorts. And it does nothing to soothe Franky's curiosity.
And it isn't even only just that. There are smiles and touches, and the way that Mini's face lights up every time Franky enters the room. There is the soft voice she only uses when speaking to Franky and the way she sometimes looks at her. It's almost as it causes Mini pain to look anywhere else.
Then one day, Daddy Levan is out of town, so naturally, his home is where they all end up, trudging over like a determined little troop. Matty is there, obviously, but Liv isn't, so when Nick announces a party at his place, Mini has no reason to object. They're drinking the day away until Alo eagerly suggests they play spin the bottle, just to spice things up. He says it like he doesn't actually believe anyone will agree, but the next thing she knows, they're sat in a circle, with an empty bottle of Leon Levan's expensive champagne in the middle.
Rich flat out refused to participate, but much to his chagrin, Grace is the one who gleefully finishes the contents of the bottle in one swig before placing it keenly on the floor, and plopping down next to it. Franky blinks and Alo is already next to Grace, a huge grin on both of their faces.
The rest of them have no choice but follow, and as she settles on the floor, she finds Matty at the opposite end, looking in her direction with a softest of smiles on his lips. Mini, on the hand, looks as if she's lost in her thoughts, her eyes fixed on the floor. And, for some reason, it makes Franky feel slightly annoyed.
She kissed Grace and Nick already, but she especially likes it when Nick and Alo have to share a quick, awkward peck on the lips. It doesn't even bother her when she realizes that almost each time she kissed someone in her life was staged, one way or another.
Grace says, "It's your turn, Franky."
She feels silly whenever it's her turn to spin the bottle, and she thinks she this might be how eleven year-olds feel. But when Franky was eleven, she already had a string of ex-foster homes behind her and only her head as a playground. This here, this is nice.
When the bottle stops spinning, it's pointing at Matty. As she gets on her knees to scoot closer, everyone becomes quiet. Matty's face is open and his eyes are smiling, and as their lips meet in the centre of the circle of her friends and above the spinning bottle, Franky feel a pang of regret at how her lack of reaction spoils the cinematic quality of this moment. What she feels: his mouth, warm and wet. Other than that, there's nothing.
A moment passes, and then she retreats back to her spot on the floor. The look of poorly concealed happiness on Matty's face breaks her heart. She chances another look at Mini, and for once, Franky finds her staring right back, her eyes attentively searching, measuring, testing Franky. Mini is looking at her like Franky is a geometric probability worksheet or an exotic tribe. Still, she remains quiet, her face unmoving.
A strange sort of awkwardness suddenly settles among them, and it's a second before Franky becomes aware of it, that Grace declares the game over. She announces that she wants to "get fucking smashed, so if anyone knows where to find some shitting drugs, she'd be fucking grateful."
And after that, it's all over. They scramble to their feet, and it's already night-time outside. Grace is leading the way, marching through the streetlight lit world up ahead of them and pulling Mini with her, their arms intertwined.
She and Matty are in the background, a little bit behind everyone else. He takes her hand when no one is looking, and she hasn't got the heart to deny him.
