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Simply One Hell of a Butler


I walked down the hall slowly, observing the plain white and green walls, the unadorned wooden doors, painted a light gray. One door to my upcoming left was ajar, with voices coming from inside. It wasn't quite time yet, so I allowed myself to curiously follow the butler. So that was you, as I suspected." That was Sebastian's voice. I silently moved closer to the door to investigate. What, or who, had caused that blast? "You see, this new burner-" A different male voice spoke, one with a clear American accent. Sebastian stood in front of an opening to another room through the door, arms on his hips, his back to me. Only the back of his head and body was visible to me, but from the sound of it, that was most likely the kitchen. So, was it the Phantomhive chef that was the cause? "Work, you useless machine!" The American voice cried out in frustration. When I moved closer, Sebastian turned, noticing my presence. Despite myself, I cursed mentally. I had hoped I could've spied a bit longer before they noticed me.

"You must stay away!" Sebastian exclaimed, turning quickly.

Before I could properly comprehend his meaning, he ran towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist. We both fell over and my head knocked against the wall slightly. I resisted the urge to whip out my dagger to defend myself. Down, girl. Not yet! I forced myself to be compliant, my heart beating surprisingly fast. Moments after, tall flames shot out from the very door I was about to enter, and several screams were heard from inside. I could feel the heat from around Sebastian's back. Another explosion? What kind of chef did the Earl Phantomhive have? Sebastian's body over mine effectively shielded me from any harm, but I doubted the American had escaped it's wrath. After the flames died, the butler pulled away, giving me a concerned look as he helped me to my feet. "Are you hurt, Milady?" Besides the surprise?No. It's been some time since I was genuinely surprised. "My bad. I almost burned everything to ashes." Another man walked into view, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. His once-white chef attire was burnt in multiple places, a blackened cigarette sticking out his mouth as he talked. A pair of goggles hung from his neck, and his hair, maybe once blonde, was now an scorched afro. Definitely the American chef. Sebastian was glaring at him with a frown on his lips. The first frown I'd seen on him, really.

"It's already ashes now!" A scolding voice sounded from the charred room, and a second figure, a female, appeared in the kitchen doorway. Her maid out was burnt also; Not as bad as the American's though. Large glasses hid her eyes, and charred magenta hair was pulled into two pigtails on either side of her head. "Are you all right, Sebastian?" Yet another voice came from the room. Just how many were in the incident? Did they all cause the explosions? Then another person, a young man, ran out in front of the previous pair, his voice sounding just as youthful as his appearance. The sorrowful boy's blonde hair was darkened by ash, dirty cherry-colored clips holding his bangs in place. He wore gloves, gardening gloves to be precise, and a large straw hat hung around his neck. This must be the gardener then, although he looked far too adolescent to be able to handle such a job. It wasn't my concern, and brushed off the thought. "Oh, who is she?" So they finally noticed I was here.

"Now…" Sebastian smiled towards me, that cordial smile, then turned to face the trio. "This is a close acquaintance of Lady Elizabeth. She is an important guest for the party tonight." I glanced towards them, feigning a shy expression. I kept my head tilted down, and glanced up through my eyelashes. It worked every time. Had to keep up the act, after all. At least, till the job is done and I'm out of here…"Wow, she's beautiful!" "You look just like a doll!" "No kidding! She's gorgeous!" Beautiful? Gorgeous? Due to my utter surprise at the sudden compliments, my cheeks burned lightly, leaving subdued blush on my face. Rarely ever had I been complimented, except for a job-well-done by the boss. I suppose I should've been less taken aback, being as how this is not the first time imitating as a high-class woman. I shifted my gaze downwards, not wanting to continue meeting their eyes. How can such simple things unnerve me? Keep calm…Thankfully my actions aren't uncharacteristic of my persona….Still. I scolded myself for letting myself feel flustered by compliments, of all things.


Sebastian closed the door behind us, turning to me with a serious look. "Not only have we treated you to an unsightly scene, but we have also exposed you to danger. Please accept my deepest apologies." Dangerous? I suppose a normal noble would be at risk in such a situation. As for unsightly,…I prefer the word amusing. Odd, maybe? The butler bowed his head, sounding apologetic. I still wasn't convinced he was genuine, but if he wasn't…Boy, was he good. Instead of speaking, I opted for merely shaking my head.

"I believe I have asked you to wait here. Every household has things to hide and secrets to keep." I lowered my head, experiencing a queer urge to bow my head in shame, like a naughty child being reprimanded by a parent. As if! "I am afraid it is rather poor courtesy for you to take a free stroll inside a mansion on your first visit." I stepped a few paces away from him. Could it be he suspects something amiss? Was my persona slacking? No, I doubted it. "That is, unless you are genuinely curious." That smile materialized, and his articulation turned lighter, less solemn. Quick! There's your shovel…start digging. "Yes…you see, I've never been in such a sizeable place before." I spoke softly and remorsefully, blinking rapidly as if to keep tears at bay. I had forgotten how simple this persona was…..and how annoying. "It was because this is your first time in such a large mansion?" I just said that…Before I could bite my tongue from replying, he smiled. "What an inquisitive appetite you have…just like that of an intrepid, innocent puppy." Now Sebastian sounded amused. Inwardly, I felt the slightest pang of relief. He didn't suspect anything, then. Not that he ever would have? Don't forget who you are. A voice in my head reminded me. I brushed it away, focusing on the butler before me.

Checking his silver pocket-watch, Sebastian said "We have a little time until tea hour. Would you mind if I gave you a tour of the mansion?" I nodded, defying the urge to smile. It was going faultlessly so far. "Then let me humbly escort you."

He took a few steps to stand closer, and held his immaculate gloved hand to me. "Your hand, please." Slowly, I placed mine in his, and once more, let him lead the way.


"This-" He swung open the door, stepping aside to let me enter. "is the entertainment room." The first thing I noted was a green table set in the middle of the room. "A full array of games such as this billiards along with toys designed by the Funtom Company," In the corner of the large room was a small rocking horse, one which young children use. "is heartily provided for the upmost entertainment of our guests." On a table to my left sat an display of different toys. A stuffed rabbit with an suit, eye patch, bow and single gold earring in the right ear of each. A dollhouse, along with a small toy carriage, including a driver, top hat and all. Directly in front of me, two boards sat on tables, ready to be played.

Half listening to the butler, I noticed someone else, another person in the room. To my right, almost hidden behind Sebastian and the door, were two people. An Chinese man, dressed in a dark blue and red kimono, was seated across from a woman, her back to me, both playing a game of cards. Who are…? They definitely weren't servants of Phantomhive. Were they here for the festivities? I eyed the pair warily.

"Oh, we have a guest." The Chinese man lifted his head.

I forced myself not to shudder at the tone of his voice. One of those, is he…Great. He walked over to where Sebastian and I stood. "This is a cramped little place, but please make yourself comfortable." The Chinese man lifted his nose into the air, smiling casually as he looking towards nothing. "The entertainment room offers a full array of games…" I blocked out his words, focusing instead on actions of the woman behind. Silently, she peeked at the man's deck of cards. I refrained from smiling. I like her.

"…Please make yourself at home." Did he just…?...He did. Sebastian walked to stand beside me, and I glanced at him, while his gaze lay on the odd Chinese man. "Thank you very much for your kind explanation, although you repeated mine word by word." He did. Pft. I bit my lip to keep from grinning. How he was able to sound polite continually was remarkable. t'd been a long, long time since I felt like this. I heard the Boss voice in my head, reminding me to 'feel nothing'. Idiot. I reprimanded myself. "Milady," I tried to focus back on the current conversation. "this is Mr. Lau, England branch manager of Kunlun, a Chinese trading company." Ahh. Sebastian then turned to Mr. Lau "Mr. Lau, this Lady is a close associate of Lady Elizabeth." Mr. Lau leaned close, and whispered in my ear. I tensed. "You had better watch out. This mansion is full of dangerous beasts." He smelled faintly of alcohol, and drugs. Not a surprise. I should've guessed sooner. After pulling away to normal distance, he spoke once more. "Make sure they do not eat you." What did he mean by that? Was it a threat? Did he know my true identity? No, he couldn't. I shook off the thought and chastised myself for even considering the thought.