A/N: Thank you all for reading :) I hope you like it! And a big, huge, gigantor thanks to my beta/pre reader *fangirls, while squealing* ChrissiHR, for dealing with my throwing commas around like I'm getting paid for them :) AND the awesome banners she made :) Disclaimer : SM owns all.

Quil thumped Jared's ear. "Hey man, wake up. We're pulling in now."

Jared's head snapped up. He used the back of his hand to wipe the drool from the corner of his mouth as he glared at his sister. "Jesus Christ Jenny, what the hell are you wearing?"

She looked down at the fairly modest swimsuit top. "Uh, my bathing suit and shorts?"

"Looks like, like...a jezebel's uniform to me. Your bosoms all on display, have you no shame?!"

Jenny looked over at the four other girls, all suffering from mysterious hot flashes, causing them to strip down to tiny shorts and bikini tops, even though the AC had the van at a crisp sixty five℉.

Collin gave her a shy smile. "I think you look great."

SMACK!

Jared growled, "Look away, pup. Jenny. Sweater. Now."

When the vans pulled to a stop, everyone piled out, stretching their legs from the long trip.

A rough voice came from the front porch, "Major, you brought visitors?"

"They're my friends, Pete. Uh, what are you doing?"

Peter scratched his bare stomach, wiped it on the tan leather chaps he was wearing, then picked a spoon up from the bowl he was holding.

"Eating. What the fuck does it look like?"

"Uh huh. Whatcha eatin'?"

"Count Chocula."

Paul, Leah, and Embry laughed.

"Why the fuck are you eating cereal, Pete?"

"Keepin' up appearances. Ain't that what your 'family' calls it?"

"Not my family anymore. Who the hell are you keeping appearances for?"

Peter grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the railing, taking a swig. "Yes."

He turned walking back to the ranch house, his ass cheeks sparkling in the sunshine.

"Y'all gonna come in or what?"

Half the group was in shock, the others attempting to contain their laughter.

Sam looked at Jasper and shook his head. "Well, this is going to be interesting."

Everyone grabbed their bags, making their way to the house.

Peter's laughter filled the room. "Wait, let me get this straight. Y'all came here to make a cowboy porno?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "A western erotic film."

Peter busted out laughing again. "Yeah, you said that."

Jasper sighed. "And we need to borrow your horses."

"So Major, what do I get for letting y'all bump uglies on my land?"

Leah cleared her throat. "We could pay you. How much would you want?"

Peter grinned at her. "I don't want your money, sugar."

Leah groaned, "Fuck this. Let's just leave."

"I want to co-direct, creative idea maker, take your pick."

Sam jumped to his feet. "Sold!"

After the group settled in, Jasper decided it was time for their first riding lesson.

"Alright, I want Emily, Bella, and Kim riding with Collin, Brady, and Pete. Everyone else gets their own horse since you're more ... durable."

Emily, Bella, and Kim walked over, the guys pulling them in front of them on the saddles.

Sam, Paul, and Jake growled as they watched Emily continue to swoon over every word out of Collin's mouth; and Brady's demonstration of gliding with the movements, his hands gripping Bella's hips, grinding her against his lap.

Jasper laughed at their jealousy as he helped Jenny into her saddle. He could hear Peter and Kim's laughter in the distance, along with galloping horse hooves moving closer.

He had just stepped back from the horse when he heard Kim's excited yell.

"Yippie ki yay, Muthafuckaaaaa!"

Jasper was too stunned by Kim's outburst to notice the lasso Peter had thrown, until it tightened around his arms and chest.

The entire group was in hysterics as they watched him bounce along the ground. When he finally came to a stop, he noticed two new faces on the outskirts of the corral.

"Damn shug, I'd give you a hug but it looks like you're all tied up."

Everyone's eyes snapped to the petite blonde and tall, shaggy brunette man by her side.

Jasper ripped the rope away from his chest and stood, brushing the dirt from his pants.

"Char, Garrett, glad y'all decided to grace us with your presence."

Leah cleared her throat over the roar of conversations and laughter in the house.

"Hey!"

"HEY!"

Peter pulled out a pistol and shot out the front door, smiling at Leah. The house was silent.

"Thanks, Pete. I just wanted to let you all know, we will start filming tomorrow. You should probably get some rest. I'm gonna run and get some costumes."

Bella looked up from between Seth's legs on the twister mat. "I wanna go, Lee!"

Charlotte was twisted like a pretzel with Quil on the same twister mat. "Me too!"

Emily and Kim were at the door already slipping their shoes on. Bella grabbed Jenny's hand and pulled her from the corner Jared had barricaded her in.

"See y'all later, boys!"

Once Charlotte's truck had moved down the driveway, Paul grabbed Brady by the scruff of his neck. "We need to have a talk, pup."

He pulled him out of the house, followed closely by Jake and Jared, Sam pulling Collin in the same way, and the remainder of the vamps and pack.

Jake looked over at Peter. "Do you have any mythological creatures that like to bite around here, Pete?"

Pete laughed, he looked around the circle of men, "That was a rhetorical question, right?"