Keeping it Toget)(er
(AN: Thank2 two EmotionlessTwit, SilverEnderwolf, ezlimitz, NekoShizuka-chan, DarkBlueMahogany, and one Gue2t for reviiewing~ hehehe, well, not much el2e to 2ay than- enjoy! -capdiick)
-Be the Supreme Fuckass-
Shit, you're not in the mood for any name-calling shit at all. You're tired, goddamn it, so cut the crab, er crap.
Rubbing your eyes, you can tell already that the day is going to be shitty. From beyond your closed curtains, you can see faint lines of falling rain, the drizzles making their way down the pane. Shifting to the wall opposite you where a long mirror lies, you take in your appearance with a grimace. Large circles under your dark eyes. Black hair a fucking mess, all of it tilting to one side from the awkward way you sleep. Your red long-sleeved shirt is falling off one shoulder slightly.
Sighing, you run a hand through your hair in aggravation with yourself, with godfucking awful life in general, and stretch to your right, checking to see if you had any texts on your phone, which lies on your bedside dresser.
Yep, three exactly.
From the looks of things, Nepeta, Eridan, and Sollux had all sent you a message. Fuck, none of these assholes you really wanted to deal with right now. Nepeta was annoying, especially since she had been calling you "Karkitty" lately. Eridan was just an ass, period, conceited and aggravating to deal with in general. But, meh, Sollux and you bitched at each other a lot, though it wasn't the same with him like it was with other people, you guess.
Anyways, he was supposed to come over later today to help you with some technical problems on your computer, and then play some 'vids.
Preferably GTA, like most days he came over. So you click his handle, respond.
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeniticist [CG]
TA: hey kk
TA: are you awake yet?
CG: SORRY
CG: I WAS SLEEPING, BUT I'M UP NOW
TA: cool
TA: 2o ii wa2 ju2t wonderiing iif you 2tiil needed me two come over twoday?
CG: THATS NOT MY FUCKING DESCISION TO MAKE. COME OVER IF YOU WANT TO, CAPTOR.
TA: ouch
TA: no need two be 2o pii22y
TA: ii know iit2 early but come on
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP. I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW. I HAVE TO GO TO WORK REALLY SOON ANYWAYS.
TA: 2weet
TA: have fun ii gue22
TA: 2o anyway2 when 2hould ii come over
CG: AFTER WORK, FUCKASS, WHEN ELSE?
TA: oh
TA: that2 at one on friiday2, ii2nt iit? ii cant make iit then, at lea2t not twoday
CG: WHY THE FLIPPING HELL NOT
TA: iim moviing iin wiith 2ome guy
CG: HAHAHA OH REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO THAT KINDA STUFF, "SOL"
TA: 2hut the fuck up for once kk
TA: iitll ju2t just be four a biit, two get out of my current atmo2phere or 2omethiing
TA: accordiing to ff, iitll be "good for me" two not be around aa riight now
CG: WELL YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR BITCHY FISH GIRLFRIEND MORE OFTEN
CG: I DONT LIKE THAT ARADIA YOU'VE BEEN LIVING WITH
CG: SHE FUCKS WITH YOUR HEAD ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, AND IM TIRED OF YOU BEING PICKED ON BY THAT ASSHOLE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING HOLD A JOB FOR LONGER THAN A MONTH LET ALONE DEFEND YOURSELF FROM SKILLED TORTURERS LIKE "AA"
TA: ff ii2nt a fii2h biitch and aa ii2nt an a22hole
TA: unliike all my other friiends
CG: HEY, I EASILY QUALIFY AS AN ASSHOLE, BUT YOUR OTHER TWO FRIENDS?
CG: MANIPULATING YOU TO MOVE IN WITH RANDOM PEOPLE DOESNT QUALIFY SOMEONE AS AN ASSHOLE?
CG: AND NEITHER DOES BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE EVERY DAY UNTIL THEY FUCKING BREAK?
CG: SOLLUX GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER AND FACE THE FACTS
CG: THOSE TWO ARE ASSHOLES
TA: what fuckiing ever kk
TA: do you want me two come over or not
CG: WELL WHEN ARE YOU EVEN AVAIILABLE
CG: OR
CG: FUCK
CG: *AVAILABLE
CG: I HATE YOUR STUPID TYPING QUIRK
TA: the feeliing ii2 mutual beliieve me
TA: anyway2 iil be over at three
TA: ii2 that cool
CG: YEAH YEAH WHATEVER
CG: SEE YA SOLLUX
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeniticist [CG]
Letting anger "boiil" within you for a second, you finally let it burst through and you throw your phone across the room, where it falls a pitiable length, slides on the floor, then straight into your closet. Ugh, that stupid, stupid, fucking complete asshole, Sollux Captor! He really didn't know how to make friends, did he? Then again, neither do you, you think grimly, remembering the texts from Eridan and Nepeta.
-Be the Kid who can't handle life-
Good thing this guy's house you're moving into is walking distance from your apartment. And good timing it was that you woke up before AA so that you could move without a fuss. Still, you felt bad that you wouldn't be seeing as much of her now that you were moving in to this new place. That, and FF had already left yesterday night. That left KK to hang with, but... he was always dissing your only two other friends.
Aradia really was a nice person, just not... all of the time. She had issues, though, and you couldn't just dismiss that. And Feferi, well, granted, she was a little bit "too" nice, though that wasn't something you could call a fault; it annoyed some people, but you didn't mind, in all honestly.
You wonder, though, suddenly, as you're crossing the street, what this guy's name even is. FF must have forgot to tell you, but, it is true that if you actually cared, you could ask her right now. You can't even find one fucking minuscule ounce of regret that you don't care what the flipping hell his name is, though. Whatever, you would be finding out in like five minutes, anyways, so, yeah.
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
Double-checking the address written for you in FF's handwriting, then glancing back up, the first thing you observe is that, for an apartment, it's pretty damn big. Then again, compare anything to the place you shared with AA, and it would look like a mansion.
Sighing, you can't help but feel fucking aggravated by the incessant pounding in your heart that just won't stop. Stepping up to the door, you give a short, hefty knock, then wait, a pain in your stomach growing by the second.
And... a minute passes. You knock again. Two. Then, five. You knock again, feeling not exhilaration now, only irritation.
God fucking damn it, where the fuck is this asshole?
-Be the Fucking Douche who is currently sleeping-
You can't be the Douche, he's not even awake, yet, smart-ass!
-Okay, then be the Busy Fish Girlfriend-
Goddamn it, you're busy! You can't deal with sassy character changes right now!
Oh, but wait.
Sollux has texted you. He must have something so say about his new roommate. Or, Eridan, that is. Hmm.
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]
TA: aa ple2e an2wer thii2 ii2 an emergency
TA: ughhhh where are you
TA: fuck me
TA: fuck liife liiterally fuck everythiing
TA: fuck
CC: Awww Sollux, w)(ats wrong? 38( Did something )(appen wit)( Eridan?
TA: what
TA: who
CC: O)()()()( t)(ats ri-ig)(t! I never told you your roommates name, did I?
TA: apparently you diidnt tell me he wa2 a late 2leeper eiither
TA: iive been 2tandiing out here iin the cold for liike half a fuckiing hour and he 2tiill ii2nt up yet
CC: W)(at?!
CC: O)( no! Sollux, please forgive me! I did tell )(im last nig)(t w)(en you would be t)(ere, but )(e must )(ave forgot to set an alarm or somet)(ing!
TA: yeah that would have been helpful two know that2 for 2ure
CC: 38/
TA: 2o what 2hould ii do
TA: go home to aa?
CC: Oh cod...
CC: I'm sorry, I reely messed up t)(is time, didn't I?
TA: ye2 you kiind of diid thank2 for notiiciing
CC: Umm, one second! )(ang in t)(ere, I'll try and wake )(im up, alrig)(t?
TA: yeah thank2
You bring up your contact list, a slight frown of worry on your mouth. What were you thinking about last night? That Eridan wouldn't sleep in late like the lazy deadbeat he was, and that Sollux wouldn't show up early, like the gentleman he was?
Oh, wait, you were thinking about how well they were going to get along. Whale, screw that fantasy. Now that Eridan was going to be freshly awaken, and Sollux, his ass half frozen off and seriously irritated, things were definitely not going to start well.
You bring up Eridan's number, labeled "Best Frond," though right now you aren't feeling quite as sympathetic towards that nickname.
But, oh, what were you thinking! It's not like it was his fault!
Ring, ring, ring, ring...
-Alright, now you're allowed to be the slowly waking up Fucking Douche-
You're too tired to retort against these rude labelings; instead you reach for your vibrating phone. The number beneath "fuckin annoyin" shows that indeed it is your fuckin annoyin best friend, Feferi Peixes.
With an extremely aggravated groan, you expend every amount of self control not to bitch at her as soon as you hit the talk button.
"Ughhhh, Fef, w-w-what the hell could any a' the billions a' people on this godforsaken hunk a' land called earth possibly be w-wantin me for at, like, sev-ven in tha' mornin'?"
Her surprisingly angry voice blares at you through the speakers, and you have to hold the phone away from your ears slightly so you don't go fuckin deaf from her awful screeches.
"Eridan, is there something you forgot about out in the cold at, no, not seven, but nine in the morning?!"
You search your brain, but tired, you come up with nothing.
"Fef, I got no clue w-what you're blabbin' on about, seriously, w-w-what do you need from me, spit it out, already."
You frown slightly, when you hear her response is an exasperated sigh.
What the fuck.
"Eridan Ampora. I moved out, did I not?"
"Yes, Fef, I can assure you that you left me all alone here."
She huffs.
"Oh, come on, grow up. The reason, I made sure to go out of my way to keep you not alone, was because I'm your only friend! Now, think!"
You really don't know what the hell she's going on abou-
…...Fuck!
"God damn it, Fef, I'm sorry, I gotta go, 'scuse me, talk to you later!"
You rush out of bed, cold air hitting your legs, and you don't even register the fact that you're not wearing pants, even skidding across the polished wood floor, not as you're turning the lock, opening the door. No, you don't realize it until you see the asshole waiter guy from last night, standing there, looking at you grimly with his phone in hand.
"You must be Eridan," he says with the same aggravating lisp.
Glaring daggers, you stand in the doorway, arms crossed, pretending as if sleeping in nothing but a white dress shirt is totally normal in this apartment.
Then again, after an exhausting and disappointing night, you really didn't put much thought into clothing changes other than taking off your pants and jacket. Thank god Feferi had bought you one size too large of the shirt, or else this would be so much more awkward than it already was.
"Yes, that w-would be my name. Anything else you w-want to add about my physical appearance before you enter my house, mister w-w-waiter?"
He smirks, shoves his shitty phone into his coat pocket before countering with his own assholey statement.
"W-why, yes, I w-would lov-ve to, mister fucking dick-shit. You seem to be standing half-naked, in a somewhat seductive pose, with long legs some pimp in New York would love to get his hands on, a killer, dare I say very fine body, and a look as if I just shot him through the fucking spectacular ass. Is that what you wanted from me?"
You stare.
Oh, yeah. This guy was going to be as difficult as he could manage, wasn't he?
And, really, there isn't much you can think to say at the moment.
So you compromise.
"C-come in," you say weakly.
As his tall body brushes past you, you angrily hiss, "Spectacular ass?"
He doesn't turn to you as you shut the door, shivering slightly, gripping your arms; instead he scopes the living room with an approving nod of his head.
"Hey, don't get your panties wet by that last statement. I was just messing with you, okay?"
Frowning even harder now, you even curl a lip at the guy's impudence. How was this possible? An asshole this big that was going to live here for a few months that managed to strike you mute? Even you had to admit that most of the time, you never shut up. But this guy really rendered you speechless. What the hell.
"I... I'm not ev-ven w-w-wearin'- look, nev-v-v-ver mind, alright? I'm goin' to get changed."
Now he turns, a devilish smirk on his face that sends shivers up your spine.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to follow you, sweetheart."
You turn, face heating, and skirt down the hall to your room, feeling a bit flustered.
-Be the Manipulative Shithead-
Oh my god, that guy was such a fucking gay little piece of ass. You said the stupidest things, and had him crumbling to your every sentence. Jesus, either this guy was desperate for attention or he was super antisocial, and didn't know how the world worked. Could be both, you think.
But, lord, would this fucking stupid Eridan be easy to play.
Remembering the pleased look on his blushing face that he was probably oblivious to, you snort, and flop down on the comfy couch, loving every moment of this.
You think, happily about how much you're going to enjoy playing this dick.
