Chapter 2: Lynda With a Y

"Big Brother said all housemates must gather on the sofas." Stood insisted.

"Busy getting out thanks." The Doctor replied, not looking up from the brickwork he was trying to resonate.

"We all get punished if you don't." Said Lynda.

The Doctor sighed and went to join them. "Maybe I'll get voted out then."

"Don't be stupid." Said Stood. "You can't get voted out. You've only just got in."

"Big Brother house, this is Davinadroid." Announced a new voice. Lynda hated that voice. It always signalled the end of someone's time. "Stood, Lynda and Crosbie. You have all been nominated for eviction. The votes have been counted and I can now reveal that the eighth person to be evicted from the Big Brother house is..." They all leaned forward, holding hands in anticipation. Except for the Doctor, who just slumped back, only taking Crosbie's hand when she grabbed his. Perhaps he wasn't bothered because he wasn't up for eviction, which was probably a bit heartless. "Crosbie." Davinadroid finished. "Crosbie, you have one minute to say your farewells, and then it's time to leave."

Crosbie began to hyperventilate. Lynda did what she could to calm her. Stood noticeably suppressed a whoop, then told her that it should have been him. The Doctor just lay back in frustration.

The others helped Crosbie up and she made her way over to the main door, which opened for her, revealing a narrow, blank passageway, with another door at the far end.

"Thanks for the food, you're a great cook." Stood said. To his credit, he never wished eviction on anybody, just didn't want it for himself.

"Thanks." Crosbie sighed. "Time to go then."

Lynda and Stood flanked the doorway and sadly raised their arms together in an arch formation, for Crosbie to walk through. She made an half-successful effort to put on a brave face and exited. The door slid shut behind her.

Lynda and Stood hugged each other. "I can't believe she's gone." Lynda said.

Back at the sofas, the Doctor was giving them a look, like he was surrounded by idiots. "It's only a game show. She'll have a great time on the outside. Write a book, release a single, fitness video, she'll be laughing."

Lynda had had a good impression of the man when she'd first spoken to him. Now he was beginning to seem a bit callous. "What do you mean on the outside?"

Before the Doctor could answer, the TV screen opposite the sofas blinked on and displayed a view of Crosbie stood in the passageway, facing the far door.

"What're they waiting for?" Said the Doctor. "Why can't they just get on with it?"

"Stop that, it's not funny!" Cried Lynda. The Doctor rolled his eyes and lay back further. It was then that it dawned on her. He genuinely didn't know. But he'd find out soon enough.

Crosbie breathed deeply as she watched the panel open above her. She wished deeply that she could have had someone with her to hold her hand. The device activated and she lit up bright, before vanishing.

The Doctor looked stunned. "What was that?"

"Disintegrator beam." Said Stood.

The Doctor babbled, as though temporarily unable to form sentences.

"She's been evicted... From life." Lynda explained.


"No trans mat's were activated. No new contestants were added." Davitch showed Nadine the data readouts. "It's like those stories you read..."

"Don't start that again." She rolled her eyes. "I think you need to take a session off."

"Perhaps... If you take it with me." He grinned.

"Definitely don't start that!" She smiled.

He shrugged. Can't blame a man for trying. "But the rumours go back decades. Something hidden away under the transmissions."

Nadine peered at the far end of the room. "The controller would know. She monitors everything."

"Not everything. You've always got to allow for human error."

"Well between you and me." She muttered. "I don't think she's been human for years."

The two of them gazed at the controller, hung up on the wall, suspended by a series of cables and tubes. Some of them keeping her body supplied with fluids, most connecting her up to every system in the station. Her unfocussed eyes gazing forward, though she'd rarely been aware of the room around her. When she wasn't giving instructions, she would twitch and mutter to herself.


To say the Doctor was infuriated would be an understatement. "Are you all insane? You just step right into that disintegrator beam! Is it that important getting your face on the telly? Is it worth dying for?"

"You're talking like we have a choice!" Lynda cried.

"You signed up for it, didn't you?"

"Don't be stupid." Stood groaned. "No-one signs up. That's how they did it centuries back."

"You get chosen." Lynda explained, though still not sure how he could be in ignorance of the fact. "Everyone on Earth's eligible, whether you like it or not. And it's nonstop too. There are 60 Big Brother houses running all the time."

"They had to cut back." Stood muttered. "It's not what it was."

"And what does the winner get?"

"To live." Said Lynda.

"Is that it?"

"Isn't that enough?"

The Doctor went to prod at the walls and mirrors with renewed vigour. "This world's a nightmare. And Rose is in the middle of it. This other contestant, Linda with an I, what did you say she was evicted for?"

"Damaging a camera." Said Lynda with a Y.

"What, like this?" He soniced the nearest swivel camera, which flashed and sparked and died.


Jack stood, gazing at his reflection in his tennis outfit. He took a few half-hearted swings and shook his head. "I don't think it'll work. It's too safe. Too pleasant. And you'd never keep it clean."

"Quite right." Said Trin-E. "Stage two ready."

"Bring it on." He grinned.

The robots activated the defabricator again, leaving Jack stood naked once more.

"Time for the face off." Zu-Zanna announced.

"What's that? Do I get to fight it out with some other guy?" Jack grinned.

"No. Face off. Literally." Her hands folded away to reveal a chainsaw on one arm and a collection of needles on the other. Next to her, the other robot had produced a massive pair of clippers and a drill.

"I think he'd look good with a dog's head." Said Trin-E.

"I think he'd look better with no head." Said Zu-Zannah.

"We could stitch his legs to the middle of his chest."

"And move his eyeballs to his knees."

"Nothing is too extreme!"

Jack smiled. "Now hold on ladies, I don't want to have to shoot either of you."

If the robots had had eyebrows, they'd have raised one of them. "But you're unarmed." Said Zu-Zanna

"And naked." Trin-E added.

"You think?" Said Jack, pulling a small gun from behind his back.

"But... That's a compact lazer deluxe." Said Zu-Zanna.

"Where did you hide that?" Said Trin-E.

"You really don't want to know." Jack replied, before shooting them each in the head.


"You are the weakest link. Goodbye." Said the Ann Droid. A quick blast from her mouth and Coleen was gone.

Rose had joined the others in looking away. Though she hadn't voted for the girl this time, she felt really sick having to compete against these people to survive. Especially when she had no right to still be there. In fact why was she still there?

"She was clever. She banked money for the team. Why did you vote for her?" She muttered to Roderick.

"Because I want to go against you in the final round." He shrugged. "You're stupider than the others. You didn't even know princess Vossaheen's surname. I go head to head with you. Become the strongest link. Run free and get a shipload of credits, courtesy of the Bad Wolf Corporation."

Rose's eyes widened. "What do you mean, who's Bad Wolf?"

"They run the Game Station." Roderick prided himself on keeping his voice casual so it didn't sound like he was explaining it to a little child.

"But what does it mean, Bad Wolf?"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "It's just a name. Like in that old Earth nursery rhyme."

"But we keep hearing it everywhere we go." Said Rose.

"The things you've seen. The darkness. The big bad wolf. No, you haven't seen it yet. But it's coming!"

The Doctor paused for a moment when he noticed that some vandal had painted Bad wolf onto the side of the TARDIS.

"Bad Wolf One descending." Said a voice on a speaker.

The Doctor and Rose returned to the auditorium, where the Mox of Balboon was chatting to the Face of Boe about the bad wolf scenario.

The Doctor looked up, full of glee. Even the words Böse wolf on the side of the bomb couldn't dampen his spirits.

"And over on the Bad Wolf channel, the Face of Boe had just announced he's pregnant."

"Margret raised an eyebrow."Blaidd Drwg? It's Welsh."

"Yeah, but how did you think of it?"

"Random choice. Saw it on a Welsh children's book and thought it sounded good. I don't know. Does it matter?"

"The Doctor turned to face them, with a ghostly look in his eyes. "Blaidd Drwg."

"What's it mean?" Said Rose. But even as she asked, the TARDIS translation began to reshape the letters into English for her. "Bad wolf?" She read. "But I've heard that before. I've heard that lots of times."

The Doctor nodded. "Two words, following us wherever we go."

"Two words. Like its written all over the universe." Rose continued.

"What you on about?" Said Roderick.

Rose decided he wasn't the best person to be talking to about this. If the Bad Wolf Corporation were in charge of these games, then maybe they'd been planning this. She was here for a purpose.


"Doctor. You have been evicted." Announced Davinadroid. "You have one minute to say your farewells, then it's time to leave the house."

The Doctor leapt for joy and bounded over to the main door.

Lynda rushed after him. Stood followed less enthusiastically. He sighed at the man's stupidity. He'd seen losing teams on The Crystal Maze with more survival instinct than him.

"You're mad you are!" Said Lynda. "It's like you want to be evicted."

"I said keep an eye on him, not kill him." Muttered Nadine.

"Nothing I can do. It's automatic. He broke the rules so he gets chucked out."

"So long!" The Doctor called, leaping through the door the moment it opened. He looked up at the panel above. Well, go on then. Disintegrate me!"

"Eviction in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." Announced Davinadroid. But then the whole thing powered down. The disintegrator ray drooped down. Some override had cancelled everything.

Up in the control room, Nadia glanced at Davitch, who just shrugged. This was turning into a long day.

"Ha ha!" Cried the Doctor. "I knew it! Someone brought me here. That must mean they want me alive. If they wanted me dead, they'd've transmatted me into a volcano. Now, I imagine security's not as tight this end so... He soniced the far door, and it clicked open.

To Lynda's surprise, the door in front of her opened too. Noticing this, the Doctor held his hand out to her, saying "Come with me."

"I can't." She said.

"Lynda. You stay in there, you've got a 50-50 chance of survival. Come with me, I guarantee you'll survive."

Lynda looked back at the house, then forward at the Doctor. She couldn't go against the system like this. She was just an unemployed media studies graduate. But something about the man told her that he could lead her to better things.

"Lynda." He said. "You're sweet. From what I've seen of your world, do you think anyone votes for sweet?"

She made up her mind and stepped through after him.

Now alone in the house, Stood looked at the nearest mirror. "Does that mean I win?"


The moment they stepped out of the house, the Doctor found himself in a massive, grey-walled chamber, which was all too familiar to him. "Hold on. This is Satellite 5."

The place was a lot quieter than last time he'd been there. A thin layer of dust sat over everything, but numerous computer terminals round the walls told him that the floor was still active, it was just that no-one ever came here except the winning contestants. That meant no guards, which was a bonus.

"No-one's called it Satellite 5 in about 100 years." Said Lynda, as he walked around scanning everything electronic with the sonic. "It's the Game Station now."

"100 years exactly." Said the Doctor. "It's the year 200,100 isn't it? I was here before. They were broadcasting news channels back then. Had a bit of trouble up on floor 500. No biggie. Sorted it. Home in time for tea."

"100 years ago?" Said Lynda. "You were here 100 years ago? Looking good for it."

"I moisturise." He ran his sonic over some of the circuits in the wall. "I'm getting the strangest readings. This place is brimming with all kinds of energy. This goes way beyond normal transmissions. What do they need all that energy for?"

"Dunno." Lynda shrugged. "I think we're the first ever contestants to get outside."

"I had two friends travelling with me." He pushed on. "They must've got caught in the same transmat. Where would they be?"

"Dunno. Could be anywhere. There's 100 different games."

"Like what."

"Ten floors of Big Brother. There's a different house behind each of those doors." She pointed to each of the six doors round the room. It amazed her that she'd finally found a use for that essay she'd written on the running of the Game Station. "Then there's Call My Bluff, with real guns. Countdown, where you have 30 seconds to stop a bomb going off. Total Wipeout... Speaks for itself. Bull's eye, where they have to fight it out with poisoned darts. Stars in Their Eyes, literally stars in their eyes, if they don't sing properly, they get blinded. Oh, then there's Ordeal or No Ordeal..."

"And you watch this stuff?" The Doctor interrupted.

"Everyone does. How come you don't?"

"Never paid for my licence."

Her eyes widened. "You could get executed for that!"

"Let 'em try!"

Talking to this Doctor was certainly a baffling experience for the girl. He seemed so sure of himself, but so out of place. "You keep saying things that make no sense."

"Doesn't really matter to me." He returned to scanning the doors.

"Does to me. I've just put my life in your hands. So who are ya?"

"Just a traveller. Just passing through. Believe it or not, all I want is a quiet life. These things keep happening to me."

"So..." Lynda asked. "If you get out, what will you do? Will you just fly off again?"

"Fast as I can."

"Perhaps I could... Come with you?" She watched as the Doctor turned to gaze at her. "I wouldn't get in the way or anything." She continued quickly. "I mean, if it's not too much trouble..."

"It's not a bad idea." Said the Doctor. This girl clearly was in need for better things than this bizarre dystopia. Always room for more in the TARDIS. "But first we've got to get out. Step 1: Know your enemy. Who's in charge here? Who runs Satellite... The Game Station?"

Spotting something on the wall, through the gloom, Lynda decided it would be better to show the Doctor, rather than tell him. She pulled a lever and the main lights came on, illuminating the Bad Wolf logo posted across the wall. "Our glorious leaders." She laughed. But the Doctor didn't laugh. In fact, he looked slightly pale.

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, favorited and followed these stories so far.