Summary: Something is rotten in the state of Camelot. A love story.


The Worm In The Bud (Part 2: Comfort) by frostygossamer


The next morning Arthur rose as usual, and behaved as if nothing had happened. He was a little sorry to hear that Princess Eluned and her uncle had left very early that morning, for fear of catching whatever sickness had struck their young host down. He had liked Eluned and she had looked like a means of escape from his nightmare life.

Uther had seemed so keen on the match too. Arthur had done all that could be expected of him, welcoming the young princess and making her like him. He had thought that was what his father wanted, but he should have know well enough that his father wouldn't let him go, when it came down to it. Uther was manically possessive and far from rational in regard to his son.

He glanced at Merlin once or twice as he ate his breakfast. How much, he wondered, did the boy know now? He had wanted to keep this all a secret from him. The more people knew the more undeniably real it all seemed. He appreciated the boy's innocence. Something he himself seemed never to have possessed.

For his part, Merlin had decided to say nothing, unless Arthur brought the subject up. Understandably Arthur preferred to pretend incidents like last night's never happened. He remembered now how, on so many previous occasions, Arthur had been evasive about bruises and injuries, which he had blamed on training or hunting accidents, or strains from horse-riding. Poor boy.

It was now clear to him that Uther had deliberately assigned him to Arthur's service, precisely because he knew they didn't get on. He didn't want them to be friends. He didn't want Arthur telling a friend the truth.

He needn't have worried. Arthur certainly didn't want the truth spread around. He wasn't likely to entrust his shameful secret to a gossipy servant boy. But what about Guinevere? Did she know?

"What about Guinevere?". Merlin blurted out the question before he could stop himself.

Arthur looked up from his meal. "What about Guinevere?", he asked.

"Does she know?", Merlin enquired.

Arthur surveyed him, taking in the implied admission that Merlin now knew.

"She knows", he confirmed. "She guessed something some years ago. She's the only one who knows, apart from Gaius, and now apparently you. She's been my lifeline. I don't know what I would have done without her."

He pushed away his plate and turned to meet Merlin's gaze squarely.

"So now you know why I've had to keep my meetings with Guinevere a secret", he continued. "If my father knew that she knew... I've lost nursemaids, servants, friends before because they found out the truth and wanted to tell the world. My father had them executed on some trumped up charge like... sorcery, or sometimes they just 'disappeared'. I won't lose anyone else that way."

He sighed, rising from the table and going to the window. "And that includes you", he concluded.

Merlin joined him by the window and quietly asked, "Do you love Guinevere?"

"I have no idea what love is", was Arthur's flat reply.

Life at Camelot returned to normal. At least on the surface, things seemed exactly the same. Arthur was just as insufferable a master as he had been before, finding any number of unpleasant jobs for his manservant, and making his disdain for him pretty obvious to anyone who bothered to notice.

Of course Merlin now knew it was an act. Arthur trusted no one with his real feelings. He didn't want anyone close enough to get involved. He took pains to make sure that no one cared. But Merlin cared. Gaius warned him not to, but he did.

Around noon Merlin bumped into Guinevere in the courtyard.

"Oh, hello Merlin", she greeted him. "How are you today?", and then more quietly, "And how is Arthur?"

Despite the cheerful smile on her lips, Merlin noticed that her eyes showed concern. He drew her to one side.

"He's bearing up well", he answered. "But he took a beating last night. The only part of him unharmed is his face. The rest is all bruises."

Guinevere looked at him askance, worriedly twisting her hanky.

"Yes, I know all about it", Merlin admitted. "Gaius told me."

Guinevere drew in a sharp breath. "Uther is a brute", she whispered. "But he's clever. He avoids marking his face, poor lamb, so no one will notice. I'll talk to Arthur later. It sometimes helps. I only wish I could do more."

Merlin nodded. "Does Lady Morgana know nothing about all this?", he queried.

"Nothing", Guinevere answered. "Morgana is the apple of Uther's eye. He has put her on a pedestal, and lavished on her all the love he should have given Arthur. Uther has never laid a finger on her, even in anger."

Guinevere rolled her eyes to heaven. "Morgana should have been a sister to Arthur. She should have been the one he could turn to", she explained. "But she resents him for being Uther's heir, and she knows Arthur resents her. She just doesn't know why. Uther has kept her close. Arthur can't trust her. That's why you could cut the atmosphere with a knife whenever they're together."

"I'd wondered about that", Merlin said.

"You have a good heart, Merlin", Guinevere replied. "Uther made a mistake giving you to Arthur as his servant. He meant you as a punishment."

"Punishment?", Merlin repeated, confused.

"Uther likes to punish Arthur for his own sins", Guinevere explained. "He blames him, you know. Arthur says his father claims it's all his fault for reminding Uther so much of his dear dead mother, Ygraine. And Uther tells him he loves him. He tells him he's sorry. And Arthur is still so loyal. It's hard to credit it."

Guinevere scurried away, hiding a tear with her handkerchief and Merlin returned thoughtfully to his duties.

Later he returned to Gaius' study and threw himself onto a chair.

"I've been talking to Guinevere", he said.

Gaius regarded him over his spectacles for a moment. "Don't get involved", he insisted. "You'll only make things worse."

Two or three weeks had passed when, one night, Merlin, suspicious at being sent away early, now that he had reason to be suspicious, went along to Arthur's chamber to find him sitting fully clothed on the end of his bed looking forlorn.

As Merlin approached, he realised that Arthur's clothing was dishevelled, and he had a cut under one eye. The kind of cut you get when you're hit by someone wearing a signet ring.

"You've been to his room?", Merlin asked, euphemistically.

Arthur nodded sadly.

Merlin snapped into maternal mode. He went to the bed and sat beside his prince, pulling the young man into a hug. Arthur pulled back at first, then he relaxed and buried his face in Merlin's neck. Merlin could feel his body convulse with suppressed sobs.

"There, there", he murmured, patting his back like a child. "Let's get you into bed."

He carefully pulled off Arthur's clothes and rolled him into bed, stuffing the dirty laundry into a basket for tomorrow. Then he stood for a minute looking down at Arthur, as he lay slumped on his mattress. He reached out to smoothed his hair, but Arthur flinched.

"Do you need me to stay?", Merlin asked, doubtfully.

Arthur stared up at him with hollow eyes and said, "No".

Merlin took the prince's hand and gave it a quick goodbye squeeze, but as he turned to go Arthur continued to hang on to his hand.

"I think you do want me to stay", Merlin said, and he lay down on Arthur's bed on top of the covers. "We can talk. Or not."

Arthur smiled faintly and closed his eyes.

"He says he loves me, you know", he whispered. "It's the only time he ever does. I don't believe that anymore. And he swears that he's sorry, afterwards. I still half-believe that one. He's still my father, and he's a good king. I still believe in him. I just wish he would stop touching me."

He sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the bed canopy.

"Camelot needs him. He's made the kingdom what it is today. Without him Camelot would crumble. We have powerful warlords in uneasy alliances, and only Uther is respected enough to maintain peace. His people rely on him. So it's better, better for everyone, if I just go along with this. It's my duty to serve Camelot and my king."

"Oh, Arthur", Merlin sobbed. "No one should have to go through this. It isn't right."

"That's what Guinevere says", Arthur replied. "She puts her arms around me and holds me close to comfort me. She's very sweet but she doesn't understand. There's no alternative. If my father were gone the crown would come to me. I can't rule Camelot. I haven't got it in me to be a king."

"Oh, you'd be surprised", Merlin commented to himself.

Arthur turned his face toward him and studied him for a moment. "You can go now, if you want", he told him.

Merlin thought a bit. "Well, I could go, but it would only mean waking up poor Gaius, and I'd rather stay here with you."

He felt really bad about leaving Arthur alone. He felt so tender-hearted towards him right now.

"Seeing as Guinevere isn't here, shall I get in with you and give you a cuddle?", he suggested, trying to sound cheery.

Arthur looked slightly alarmed, but he said yes, uncertainly.

Merlin jumped off the bed and quickly stripped down to his drawers, then he slid between the sheets. He drew Arthur close and, after a moment's reluctance, the prince returned his embrace.

"There. That's better", Merlin whispered into Arthur's ear. He felt Arthur's hand slide down his back to touch his bottom.

"It's alright", Merlin murmured, grabbing Arthur's arm and moving it back up to his waist. "Just a cuddle", he said. "We're just friends."

Arthur seemed a little relieved.

TBC


A/N: Ah! Poor Arthur. What would he do without his Merlin? Please read on.