Diary Entry 2

SUNDAY

I CAN'T BELIEVE EGBERT GOT THIS PIECE OF SHIT FOR ME. WHAT, DOES HE EXPECT IT TO COME TO LIFE AND START CONSOLING ME ABOUT MY MYRIAD PROBLEMS? AFTER JUST TWO MINUTES IT'D PROBABLY JUST STAB ITSELF IN ITS NONEXISTANT HEART. I GUESS THIS IS PROBABLY JUST A HINT TO QUIT USING MEMOS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MYSELF OR SOMETHING. AND WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THIS'LL KEEP FUTURE ME FROM VERBALLY BEATING ME UP. I GUESS IT MIGHT ALSO BE A BREAK FROM EVERY TROLL AND THEIR LUSUS EAVESDROPPING ON MY DEEP AND MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS WITH MY ASSHOLE SELF. THAT SHIT WAS WEIRD.

OH SHIT, HERE COMES NEPETA. I BE

:33 hi, karkitty! whats this?

NOTHING IT'S NOT A THING THAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING GO AWAY.

:33 ooh, a diary! its like a little shipping wall fur yourself, right? you write down your innfurmost secrets and hope nopurrdy reads it

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M WRITING AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO LOOK ON IN AWE AND SHAKE THEIR HEADS SLOWLY AS THEY REALIZE HOW PURELY AWFUL MY LIFE WAS.

:33 that's silly of you

FOR FUCKS SAKE LEAVE ME ALONE.