Arnold "Ace" Rimmer stared in shock at the battle waging in the streets. Ragged, dirty, but very well-armed, mutants with cybernetic implants raced around on land rovers and motorbikes, harassing and fighting a group of ordinary humans. Well, not quite ordinary, they were all wearing the beige uniforms of the Space Corps, which shouldn't have been possible. The human crew were armed and fighting well, but were losing. Ace shook off his shock in seconds, grabbing weapons from the hold of his ship, then racing into the fray.

Ace planted himself in front of a particularly large mutant, Darok, riding a bike whose seat was level with Arnold's shoulders. Several of the human crew shouted in alarm, urging Ace to get out of the way. Darok sneered, aiming for the strange human with the H on his forehead. He licked his lips, enjoying the thought of turning the stranger into a streak of blood and guts.

Aiming steadily with a laser pistol, Ace fired straight into Darok's heart. The mutant's eyes widened in shock. He had expected a head shot and to be protected by his cyber enhancements there, which diffused laser blasts. Darok grunted in pain as his heart was flash fried, but held onto his bike, determined to take the human worm out with him. At the last minute, however, the human leaped into the air, flying over the handle bars and dislodging Darok with a well-placed kick, landing backwards on the bike. Standing and spinning around, Ace caught hold of the handles, just as the bike started wobbling out of control.

The human spectators gave a wild cheer, shocked and pleased at the display. One, however, tilted his head in confusion, not quite believing what he had just seen.

"Isn't that Arnold Rimmer?" Captain Hollister asked.

"Can't be, sir," Todhunter denied, puzzled. "That smeg head would never dare attempt something like that."

"No, no, the captain's right," Karen Newton confirmed. "I saw him enough times, after he failed the astronav exams."

A high pitched scream managed to over ride the other sounds of battle. Hollister and his officers turned to see Kristine Kochanski struggling between two mutants, each of whom had one of her arms and were pulling her back and forth between them. Hollister and the others watched in amazement as Ace spun his bike towards her, gaining speed as he approached.

Kristine Kochanski, the nano version from this reality, watched in horror as the giant bike hurled toward her. She was only mildly dismayed by the fact it was ridden by Arnold Rimmer. The sheer size of the bike used up all her terror. To her surprise, Rimmer managed to aim the bike to one side, squashing one of her captors, while simultaneously lifting her and the other mutant. A well placed blast from Arnold's laser pistol sent the second mutant falling dead to the ground.

"Get behind me," Ace ordered, leaning forward a bit and tugging her to the back.

"Rimmer?" Kochanski asked, even while obeying him, sitting behind him and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

"Yes," Ace agreed, his voice a bit deeper than she remembered. "I'll explain, but right now, we've a battle to win."

"Yes, right," she agreed. "I'm not armed, though!"

"There's a small pistol in my left, inner breast pocket," Arnold answered, spinning the bike back to head into the heart of the battle.

Kochanski grabbed the pistol and joined Arnold in shooting at the mutants. Heartened by the demise of three mutants in quick succession and an addition to their own numbers, the Red Dwarf crew began firing in earnest, following Ace's lead by aiming at places on the mutants' bodies that didn't seem enhanced. Soon, the mutants were down to six and outnumbered. Grabbing vehicles, they fled into the nearby foothills, leaving the Red Dwarf crew triumphant.

Everyone gathered around Hollister and Ace was relieved to see no one seemed seriously injured. He'd gotten there in time to prevent that. Pulling the bike to a halt a few feet away, Ace shut it down and hopped off, landing neatly. He turned to see if Kochanski needed help.

She stared down at him, puzzled.

"You're not alive," she said, perplexed, seeing the H on his forehead. Swinging one leg around, she faced him directly, still seated on the bike.

Ace grinned, reaching up and lifting her off the bike by her waist. Instead of setting her down, he spun around with her in a paroxym of pure joy. Kochanski grabbed his shoulders, laughing a bit in astonishment. The rest of the Red Dwarf crew burst into applause, partly for him and partly for themselves, in relief.

"You, however, are very much alive," Ace said, laughing and spinning.

Kochanski laughed again, as Ace came to a halt, though seeming to forget to let her down. She stared down at him, shaking her head.

"No, wait, though. How can you touch me, if you're a hologram?"

"Hard light drive, love," he told her, setting her feet gently on the ground, so she could stand. "I got it off a megalomaniac named Legion about five years or so ago."

"The real question is when and how did he die?" Dr. Newton asked, confused.

Ace looked towards her, frowning slightly in shame.

"Three million years ago, same as you, in a radiation leak..."

"Yes, we know all about that," Hollister interrupted impatiently. "You are Arnold Rimmer-second technician? From this reality?"

"Yep. I'm that Arnold Rimmer," Ace admitted, wryly amused.

"If Holly brought you back as a hologram, why is there a live version of you on board and where have you been?"

"I didn't know there was a living version of me in this reality. I've been traveling between alternate universes in the Wildfire, my ship there. I got an opportunity to do some good and grabbed at it, but my tour is almost over, you could say."

"Then, you're going to be staying? May I ask what capacity you intend to serve?"

"Call me a security consultant, Captain. My job will be to keep you lot safe, though I might lend my services to other people in need, every once in a while. Holly should have a hidden file, code-name dimension hop. Only you and Todhunter will have high enough clearance to read it. It will explain a lot to you."

"The JMC regulations and Space Corps laws don't contain provisions for a 'security consultant,' even if you qualify for such a position," Hollister said pointedly.

"The Jupiter Mining Corporation and the Space Corps no longer exist," Ace said. "You're not a captain anymore. You're the governor of a floating colony in a section of space you're utterly unfamiliar with. You need me and what I can offer you."

Hollister shivered a tiny bit, unnerved by this new, confident, and dead version of Arnold Rimmer. Hollister had mainly adjusted to being lost three million years from Earth. He had brought his people down to this planet, hoping to find an Earth colony and a way to contact Earth and JMC headquarters, while maybe doing a bit of trading. Instead, they had found only the mutants. Hollister hadn't fully processed the idea that they were three million years in the future, from where they had started. He sighed impatiently.

"I hope this file of yours has some damn good answers, Mr. Rimmer. Do you have any questions you'd like answered?"

"I just have one for right now. Captain Hollister, do you know where Dave Lister is, by any chance?"

"Oh, yes. I know where Lister is," Hollister said, not elaborating further.

Arnold frowned, worried.

"Is he all right? I'll be damn angry, if whatever brought you back killed him off instead."

"No, he's not dead. He's alive and well," Hollister assured him.

Arnold's gaze grew more suspicious, his instinct and Hollister's manner assuring him something was wrong.

"Cat? Kryten? How are they doing?"

"They're fine. Just dandy," Hollister said.

"Then what's the bad news, Skipper? I can tell there is some," Ace prodded, his voice deepening to almost a growl.

"They're in prison. All five of them."

"Five?"

"Yes, you are also in prison, the alive version, at any rate. There's also another Kristine Kochanski, who, if Lister is to be believed, is from an alternate reality. They're all serving a two year sentence for misuse of other people's private, personal information."

Ace stared at him blankly for a few seconds, before his lips turned up in a smile.

"Well, it could be a lot worse. I'd like a chance to speak with Lister, if you don't mind. I've been looking forward to rejoining my old shipmates."

"All right. You can come aboard and see Lister, while I look at that file."

"Thank you, Skipper. I appreciate it," Ace told him.

Ace boarded Starbug with the others, sprawling in one of the passenger seats, near Kochanski.

"Have you seen Lister, since you were brought back?" Ace asked her.

"No. He isn't still obsessed with me, is he?" she asked, worried.

"I'm not quite sure where his heart stands, I'm afraid. It's been awhile, since I've seen him, myself. There's always the chance he has something going with the other Kochanski."

"Where did she come from?" Kochanski asked, puzzled.

"I'm not sure. She must have come aboard, after I left."

"Well, I wish them luck, if they are together."

"No interest at all in him, then?"

"No. I like him and I'd like us to be friends, once he's out of jail, but it was never as serious for me, as for him," Kochanski admitted.

Arnold nodded, pleasantly, lighting up one of his thin cigarettes. Sometimes, he cursed the original Ace for smoking the damn things, but it was a habit he'd gotten used to and even come to enjoy.

"Fair enough. We'll just have to see how things go, eh?"

"Why so much interest in Lister? You two never seemed very close."

"We weren't, but then we were. We spent almost seven years in close company, sharing danger, boredom, and everything in between. We've saved each others' lives and almost got each other killed. It creates a bond."

"You mean, during the time we were...dead?"

"Afraid so, love," Arnold confirmed, sympathetically. "You're alive now, though. That's the important bit."

Kochanski gave a small shiver. She'd been dead. Everyone had been told that much by Hollister, of course, but the knowledge had felt vague, distant. There was nothing distant about this version of Rimmer and his palpable joy at finding them alive. His easy confidence and the new knowledge in his eyes made him seem like an apparition, far more than the H on his forehead. Kochanski thought of her family and, for the first time, felt an intense pang of grief. A warm hand settled on hers.

"Are you all right?" Ace asked.

"Yes. Well, no. We're alive, but..."

"Everyone else is gone," Ace added, his tone gentler than the words. "I know."

"Do you?" Kochanski asked, accusing.

"A couple of years after Holly woke Lister up, we found one of the mail pods. There was a letter in there from my mother, telling me my father had passed on. That's when it really hit me, that everyone I had ever known, except Lister, was long, long dead."

"I'm sorry," Kochanski said, looking away.

"No need. You didn't know and it was a long time ago," he said, earning a wan smile.

"Where have you been, though? There was nothing like your ship on Red Dwarf."

"I got her off another reality's version of me. Long story short, I went off to become a hero."

"Sounds grand," Kochanski teased, with only the slightest trace of disbelief.

"Not as much as people think. Mostly it's a great lot of hard work. It's needed, though," Ace admitted.

Starbug landed and Hollister came to the back.

"Mr. Ackerman is here. He'll take you to Lister. The prisoners are just heading to the mess hall for lunch."

Ace put out his cigarette, then bounced to his feet.

"Thank you, Skipper. I appreciate it."

"Ackerman is..."

"No worries. I know what he looks like."

"Right, good," Hollister said drolly, following behind Ace, as he headed for the hatchway.

Ace approached Ackerman with an easy grin, ignoring the grim stare that was meant to intimidate him.

"Ackerman, old chap, the captain says you're giving me an escort into the prison areas."

"Those are my orders," Ackerman agreed, suspiciously. "You will follow me and do exactly as I say."

Ace ignored the implied threat, giving a short salute, bouncing two fingers off of his forehead.

"Following your lead, as ordered, old bean," he promised heartily.

Ackerman gave a small pout, then turned on his heel and began a quick march towards the prison that Ace kept up with easily. When they reached the mess hall, half of the prisoner's were already eating, while the rest filed in line to get their own meals. Ace scanned the room, spotting a bit of trouble in the upper left corner. Kryten, the Cat, the other Rimmer, and a pretty lady were standing in a semi-circle around Dave Lister, who was standing in front of Baxter, a mountainous inmate with a violent temper.

As Ace watched, Baxter struck Lister full in the face and a small fight broke out among the nearby inmates. Kill Crazy stood on the sides, urging Baxter on. Seeing Lister go down, Ace jumped down the stairs, where he stood with Ackerman, racing across the room to his friends. He fought his way through the gathering crowd, shoving and elbowing people, sending them skidding a couple of feet back. Ace reached Lister and the others, just as Baxter drew back his heavy fist to land another blow in Lister's face. Ace caught Baxter by the arm, then lifted him, spinning him around.

"Leave him alone, old chum."

Baxter glared down at the hologram in disbelief. He clenched a fist, rubbing it threateningly with his other hand.

"Make me," Baxter taunted.

"If you insist," Ace agreed, shrugging. Without further warning, he drove a fist hard into Baxter's solar plexus, making him fold over in agony. Kill Crazy gave a snarl of anger and grabbed Cat by the throat from behind.

"HEY," Kill Crazy barked sharply. "Let him go or I'll hurt this one."

Ace spun around, his expression suddenly devoid of charm.

"Let my friend go," Ace ordered, softly.

"Why should I?" Kill Crazy asked.

"It would've kept me from doing this," Ace told him, lashing out with his foot. Kill Crazy stood to one side of the Cat, fairly exposed. Ace swung his leg in a sideways arc that caught Kill Crazy in his kidney. Hearing Kill Crazy's choked gasp of pain, the Cat pulled loose, making his way to stand next to Ace.

Baxter helped Kill Crazy to stand and walked away. The rest of the inmates took a couple of steps back from Ace, widening the empty circle, where Lister lay on the ground. Lister looked up at his rescuer in shock. Somehow, he hadn't thought he'd see him again.

"Rim...erm, Ace!"

"Hallo, Lister," Ace greeted, his voice not quite as deep as it tended to be.

Ace stretched out his hand to Lister, who took it almost immediately. Pulling Lister gently to his feet, Ace then enfolded him in a warm hug.

"It's good to see you again, Listy."

"It's good to see you, too, man. I missed you," Lister admitted, hugging back.

"Kryten, Cat, and you must be the other Miss Kochanski," Arnold said, turning to them.

"Wait, but...you're our Mr. Rimmer?" Kryten asked, stunned by the display of affection between him and Lister.

"I'm afraid so," Arnold admitted, grinning.

"What? Ace is Goal Post Head? How can that be?"

"Every time an Ace is about to die or retire, he goes and recruits another Arnold Rimmer to take his place," Ace explained. "The funeral you thought was mine was actually for the previous Ace. I rather thought Lister might've fessed up."

"It wasn't my secret to tell," Lister said simply, shrugging. "Let's sit down. Apparently we have stories to exchange."

"We certainly do," Arnold agreed, turning and tipping a wink to the surrounding crowd. "Excuse us, please, old chaps. It is lunch time, right?"

The crowd slowly dispersed and Lister led the way to their usual table.

"You wouldn't mind going first, would you?" Arnold asked. "How on Io did you manage to bring the crew back?"

"Uh, that was my fault, sir. My nanobots got free."

"Well, congratulations, Kryters!" Arnold said with genuine enthusiasm. "They and you did a top notch job."

"Oh well, thank you, sir," Kryten said a bit abashed.

"I guess Hollister told you how we ended up here?" Lister asked, embarrassed a bit.

"He said what the charge was, at least," Arnold agreed. "Did you do it?"

"Well, yeah, but I was only trying to help y-him out," Lister defended.

"Please do not refer to him as me," the living Rimmer complained, staring at his double in a mix of wonder and disgust. "He's not me and I'm certainly not him!"

"Eh, come on. Don't start that again!" Lister said, wheedling.

"No, Listy, he's right," Ace agreed, drawing looks of surprise. "He's who I used to be, yes, but I've had opportunities and learning experiences he hasn't. It's not fair to expect him to just do a one-eighty and become me straight off. The potential certainly exists, but, like me, he'll need help getting there."

"What makes you think I want to be you?" Rimmer asked contemptuously.

"I used to be you, Arnie. I was just as bitter, angry, and full of self hatred as you are right now. More so, in fact. You haven't committed some of my mistakes and betrayals. God willing, you never will. I know how you really feel, your hidden wishes."

Rimmer blushed, not answering, and glared down silently at his food tray. To his surprise, Lister patted him gently on the shoulder, his gaze understanding. Rimmer relaxed slightly, though he kept up his mask of annoyance.

"So, that's our story, then. What about you?" Lister asked, then paled a bit. "You're not..."

"Dying? No, Lister, I'm fine. I'm retiring actually. I came here to find you and see how you were getting on."

"Retiring? I didn't know that was an option," Lister admitted. "Why would you?"

"A few reasons really. The most important is I found an Arnie J. who needs the opportunity of being Ace even more than I did."

"You're taking the smeg," Lister accused, though he didn't really believe that himself.

"I'm afraid not. Remember I told you about the time my brothers put a land mind in my sandbox and it went off?"

"No!" Lister burst out in surprised horror, his eyes widening.

"You sure? I could have sworn I mentioned that to you one time," Ace said, puzzled.

"Um, that was me, sir," Kryten reminded him. "You told me about it, when you were watching home videos.'

Ace considered that for a moment, then nodded, smiling.

"Right again, Kryten, old pal," Ace admitted. "Well, anyway, in this reality, the blast just knocked me out for a bit. In this other reality, Arnie J. was closer and got hit in the lower back. He ended up paralyzed."

"Paralyzed? How's he supposed to become Ace, if he can't walk?" Cat asked, skeptical.

"Oh, I know some surgeons and genius types who can get him going, good as new," Ace assured him.

"Do we get to meet him-Arnie, I mean?"

"Eventually," Ace promised. "Right now, he's with the doctors, getting put back together. To be honest, that's one of the reasons I'm here now. I was being a bit of a mother hen and the doctors asked me to make myself scarce for a bit."

"So, you'll be going off again, then," Lister said, trying to hide his disappointment.

Ace smiled softly, shaking his head.

"Only for a little while," he assured them. "Now that the Red Dwarf crew is back and Arnie is taking over as Ace, I think I'm needed more here than anywhere else. No, I just need to get Arnie on his feet and trained, then I'll be back for good."

"Um, Ace, you travel dimensions on a regular basis, right?" Kochanski asked. "Is there any chance you could take me home?"

"It shouldn't be too hard. We've figured out how to revisit dimensions. With Kryter's and Holly's help, I should be able to pinpoint your reality. Let me talk to Hollister and I'll see if he'll release you to my custody."

"Thank you," Kochanski said, beaming.

Ace sneaked a glance at Lister and felt a pang, seeing his friend look downtrodden by the exchange. Feeling Ace's glance, Lister looked up and gave a wry smile, shrugging slightly. The buzzer sounded announcing the end of the meal period. Kryten began gathering everyone's trays, but Ace interrupted to shake his hand.

"Short visit, I know, but the sooner I go, the sooner I can get back. Kryten, Cat, it's good seeing you. Take care, while I'm gone," Ace urged, smiling fondly.

"Right. Good to meet you," Rimmer said, with fake enthusiasm. "I'm heading back to our cell."

"It's good to meet you, too," Ace said, a bit amused, but still sincere.

"Man, you really did improve over that!" Cat exclaimed, clapping a friendly hand on Ace's shoulder.

"Give him time. He'll get better," Ace promised.

"It'll be good to have you back, sir," Kryten said, astonished to find that he meant it. "Things just keep getting weirder and weirder. Um...may I ask a favor?"

"Of course, you can, Kryten," Arnold said, placing a hand on the mechanoid's shoulder. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I'm currently assigned to the women's prison and I was wondering if you could help by talking to the captain. It just doesn't seem right to me!"

"I imagine it doesn't," Ace agreed. "Why on Io did they stick you with the women?"

"Because I haven't got, erm," Kryten began, fidgeting, "well, you know."

"I do, but you don't have female bits, either, being a mechanoid," Ace reasoned, shaking his head. "Right, then, I'll do what I can for you. I just hope the skipper is in a reasonable mood."

"Thank you," Kryten said, making a sound of relief. He could hardly believe how the hologram had changed. He wasn't quite the same as the other Aces, but he wasn't the old smeee heee he used to be either.

"You're welcome," Ace said simply. "Hopefully, I'll see you all soon."

"Later, bud," Cat said, wandering off with a wave. Kryten and Kochanski waved at him, heading for the female side of the tower.

"You really think you'll be back soon?" Lister asked, lingering.

"I should be," Ace said. "Lister. I am sorry. I couldn't tell her no, but..."

"No, hey, it's good!" Lister protested, then continued, his voice sad, but calm. "We were never like that and I don't think we were going to be. She wants her Dave, not me. It's what she wants. It's what's right."

Ace gave Lister a hug, gratified, when his old shipmate hugged back.

"I'm glad you're okay. I better get going and see Hollister. See you soon, Listy."

"See ya," Lister agreed, grinning cheerfully, before disappearing with the last group of inmates, heading off to the cells.

Ace headed back to Ackerman, who glared balefully at him.

"It is not your job to interfere with the inmates," Ackerman growled.

"Sorry, old bean, but I couldn't just stand by and watch an old friend get pummeled," Ace said, shrugging. "I've had my chat. I think it's time to go see the skipper."

"Follow me," Ackerman said, with disdain.

Hollister deliberately kept Ace waiting, hoping to make him impatient and bring a bit of the old, groveling Rimmer back into the man's manner. To Hollister's disappointment, Ace came into the office, standing tall and calm, relaxed in a way Hollister had never seen him.

"I've read the files. They were fascinating," Hollister admitted. "Any Ace Rimmer, living or dead, active or retired, is automatically given the rank of commander. He is to be assigned no duties that do not directly relate to the protection of human life and liberty. Commander Rimmer is answerable to the highest ranking Space Corps officer, unless there is no one ranked captain or above. In that case, Ace Rimmer is to assume command and will be answerable to the nearest local government," Hollister quoted, smiling with enforced calm.

"In this case, that would be you, Skipper."

"That would be me," Hollister agreed dryly. "So we know you're dead. What else are you? Active? Retired? You did mention staying."

"I'm in the process of retiring. I have a few loose ends to tie up. I have to get the new Ace up and running, then I'll be back."

"The files also say I'm too cooperate, whenever possible, offering any reasonable assistance. Do you need assistance, Commander Rimmer?"

"Well, yes, you could do me a favor or two, Captain. I need you to release Kristine Kochanski into my custody, for starters."

"Only Kochanski?" Hollister asked with mild sarcasm.

"Only her," Ace agreed, shrugging. "I'm not going to interfere with your justice, Skipper. Lister admitted he did the crime."

"Why do you want Kochanski, then?"

"I'm not going to be Ace much longer. After, I won't have the Wildfire. I need to take her home, before that happens. Consider it exile, Skipper-an alternative sentence."

Hollister considered briefly, then nodded. She'd be gone and someone else's responsibility. He'd gain nothing by trapping her here.

"All right. I'll let you take her. Anything else?"

"Just one more request and it is a request, but I'd be grateful. Place Kryten with the other men. I know what the rules say, but I've known Kryten for quite a long time now. He's always been one of the boys. He considers himself a he. It's awkward and embarrassing for him to be in with the ladies...not what he's used to."

"I'll think about it," Hollister said. "Those rules are in place to maintain order."

"I can't think of anyone more orderly than Kryten, Skipper," Ace said, amused. "Placing him back with the gents won't change that."

"I'll think about it," Hollister repeated. "Todhunter will take you back to your ship in Blue Midget."

Ace stood, saluting smartly.

"Thank you, Skipper. I'll see you in about a month, from your point of view."

"Very well. Dismissed, Commander."