Songbirds

Chapter 2

The Girl with the Flowering Smile
Awake


Songbirds sang, calling out the day as the sun shone brightly over the kingdom. In that kingdom was a palace, and in that palace, there lived an emperor with many wives; and living with the emperor and his many wives, lived his late older brother's widow, their three daughters, and their only son. On this day, as the sun shone brightly with the same energy the great conqueror, Lord Sun Ce, once had, his wife sat, in a vibrant room filled with flowers and decorated with calligraphic writing and paintings, on her knees with incense, lit by a candle, in her hands.

"My dear husband today is the anniversary of your death. Your children are growing up quickly with the same spirit and energy you once had when you were still with us."

Behind her sat her eldest son: Sun Shao; and behind him sat her three daughters in the order from eldest to youngest: Sun Anyi, Sun Feilan, and Sun Anwei. Her son was dressed extravagantly and her daughters were just as decorated in order to present to their ancestors. Before them all hung a calligraphic painting of their father, as youthful as he once was, with incense burning in a bowl of rice grains. Today was the anniversary of his death. This was the day his family paid their respects and offerings to him.

"Your only and eldest son dares to show his prowess that he had obtained from you, climbing up the ranks within his military arts class, yet he is thankfully calm and demure like me. He knows to be responsible and is known to give intelligent advice to his colleagues as well as respect his superiors. Please watch over your son and bless his future."

The widow and her children all bowed their heads to the portrait of the Little Conqueror before sitting back up, all with straight backs, before bowing again and sitting up once more before Lady Da Qiao held up the burning incense and tucked them into the bowl filled with grains of rice. After doing so, she then got up and moved to sit at the side, waiting and watching as her children, one by one, paid their respect to their father.

"Father! Your filial son greets you!" Sun Shao had moved forward and grabbed a few sticks of incense, lighting them with the candle, and bowing his head to the small alter. "I promise to you that I am doing my best and giving my upmost effort in not only my studies but in training as well. Your filial son dares not boast as there is nothing for me to boast of. It is in my duty to please you and Mother, and in that duty, shall I ever shame myself in my studies and my training, I will have failed in my duty towards the both of you and no longer be your filial son. Please, Father, give me your blessing and watch over me. I will always do my best to make you and Mother proud!" The ten year old son of the great Lord Sun Ce bowed his head before tucking in the incense into the bowl of rice grains and got up on his feet to in order to take his seat next to his mother.

It was then that Anyi stood up and bowed to the alter before sitting on her knees, picking up some incense and lighting it before holding it up as an offering with her head bowed. "Dear Father, your filial daughter greets you. Over the past year, I have continued my studies diligently and have added a total of ten new poems to my collection, which I hope that you will find worthy of attention. I am and will continue to do my best, as your oldest daughter, to take care of Mother and my younger siblings. Please give your filial daughter the strength to assist and tend to my siblings as well as bless me in my studies and poetry." The eighteen year old bowed her head and gently tucked in her incense before quietly moving over to take her place next to her only brother.

Sun Feilan stared wide eyed, nervously at the altar and froze in anticipation, wondering what she would say before timidly shuffling herself forward on her knees, causing her mother to grimace and her older sister to frown cover her face in embarrassment. "F-Father! Your fa-fi- ahh…fil…fil…filio…fi…"

Sun Feilan struggled to spit the word out of her mouth as Anwei, behind her, frowned and whispered to her, "'Filial'."

"Filial! Daughter…greets you… Oh!" Feilan clumsily covered her face in embarrassment before reaching over to pick up some incense, lighting it up before holding it up as an offering to her father. "Your filial daughter greets you!" She chuckled quietly beneath her breath and smiled up at her father. "Um…I…" She thought and thought and thought so much as to what she wanted to say that she wasn't sure where she should start with her words. "Um…Mother?" Feilan winced as she looked over to her mother who only stared at her with discouraging eyes, trying to tell her daughter to save herself from further embarrassment. Feilan only stared sadly at her mother before quietly asking, "May I think my thoughts to father instead…?" Feilan stared at the ground beneath her as tears began to well up in her eyes. Lady Da Qiao stared at her daughter thoughtfully before sighing.

"That will be fine," her mother spoke gently.

Feilan smiled and gave a nervous chuckle. "Thank you," she whimpered out before holding up the incense again and bowing her head down with her eyes shut tight. The wind gently blew in, fluttering her soft robes and her hair ornaments softly. Some of her hair ornaments even chimed when the little metal strips clinked against one another. "F-father, your filio…flia…filiol daughter greets you." Anyi fought the urge to sigh.

I really miss you, Baba… I don't want to see a stupid painting of you anymore; I want to see only you! I'm trying my best; I'm trying everything I can. Mama says I can't participate in martial arts because I'm a girl, so I'm doing my best in my studies but it's all so boring! I'd rather be stupid instead! Hmph! At least I can do other things, right? Lately I've been learning how to grow rice, and my rice patties are just starting to sprout. If only you were here to see them. And if only you'd be here to eat them with me when they're ripe! I may not be the smartest, or the most…I don't know…good at writing or drawing or music or dance or whatever, but if I put my mind to it, I'll always do my best! That's alright, right? No matter what, I'll show everyone that though I don't have any special talents, I am still Sun Feilan, the one who always does her best and always puts her heart into everything she attempts. I don't understand why people do what they don't like to do and don't give it their all, I don't want to be like those people! And now I'm just rambling on… Ahh… I need to just slow down now…

Feilan took a deep breath before sighing it out.

I'm not good at writing poetry, nor am I good at understanding it, and I may not be good at calligraphy and writing, and I may not be good at dancing or playing music or even singing, but no matter what, I will always have the courage to give everything I do everything I can. I will give it my all! I'm not here to ask for anything, and I'm not here to hope for anything… I just want to let you know I'm doing well and that I hope you are doing wonderful too, wherever you are. I'm growing up well and at least I'm taller than Mama, and everyone says that I'm just like you, that is if you were a woman. But the truth really is…

Feilan frowned and whimpered as tears slipped from her eyelids. "I really miss you! Waah! Uwaah!" As I walked through the open air halls, the sound of Lady Sun Feilan's crying reached my ears and I couldn't help but listen. "I really miss you so much!" I could hear her wailing and whimpering as I subconsciously made my way through the halls, hearing her cry for her father. "If only you were here, then my whole would be complete! There would no longer be a hole in my world! The only one I want to see is you, Baba!" I turned the corner and walked forwards a little before staring into the open room, seeing Lady Da Qiao sitting with her eldest son and eldest daughter while the youngest daughter sat behind the middle daughter who cried with her arms held up, still holding incense that was already burnt with its ashes falling to the ground. Everyone only stared at me and sighed as they just let Feilan cry by herself in the middle of the room. "I'm no filiolio daughter, so I'm just going to say it! I really miss you, waaah!" She hiccupped and sniffled as I sighed at her before stepping in and kneeling beside her.

"Don't you think you're a little too old to do this?" I stared nonchalantly as I lead her fingers to tuck in the short sticks of incense into the bowl of grains and held my hand out to her. "I'd leave you to sit next to your sister, but you'd probably disturb your ancestors more with your huffing and puffing." She silently stared at me while her nose twitched as she sniffed before frowning at me and looking away. "Look at me." I grabbed her chin and pulled her face over to stare at me, seeing her nose begin to run. I sighed and stared at her quietly before pulling her up with me by her hand. "You look like you can use some air." I bowed respectfully to the portrait of the late conqueror and greeted him. "Lord Sun Ce, forgive me but I will greet your properly later." After doing so, I turned and bowed to the widow in the room. "Forgive me, my Lady, for disrupting your family's greeting. Just let me take your daughter out of your hands so she can calm down."

"Please, if you can, but I warn you, Feilan is quite a handful. I appreciate your offer."

"Then I shall proceed with caution." I stood back up and looked to the young woman who sobbed quietly beside me, wiping away her tears with a finger. I scoffed a little before grabbing her hand and lacing her fingers with mine. "Come with me." She only stared at me, as though she was quite perplex, before I turned away and pulled her along with me.

We walked away, through the halls past maids running around to take care of the palace, past eunuchs who made their way to carry out their duties, past other officials who greeted us but whispered about Feilan's tears and if I made her cry or not. I only sighed in irritancy as I pulled her along with me to an open water garden beneath bridges and a pagoda. We stood there silently as I looked on forward towards the sky instead of the vibrant lily pads that sprouted from the water beneath us, or the colorful koi that swam around playfully or peacefully, or the flowers that bloomed brilliantly, much like the flower beside me who was still trying to control her breathing.

"You know…" I averted my eyes, feeling somewhat annoyed. "You shouldn't cry, it makes you look like undignified." Like that's going to make her feel any better.

I didn't notice the frown on her face or the glare in her eyes, but I felt the push from her shove, making me wrinkle my brows at her in disbelief. Did she really just push me? "Well, maybe I am undignified! Is that so bad? Hmph!" She crossed her arms and swung herself around to face away from me, which I didn't understand why women would do that. If she really didn't want to see me, why didn't she just walk away? "Maybe you shouldn't cry, because then you'd look like an adult rhinoceros looking for his mother!" I only quirked my brow at her, baffled. How childish her words are. Where are these words coming from? How are they forming in her head?

"Maybe you should study more so that when you cry, you wouldn't look like undignified." What was I saying? I've stooped down to the level of a child…

"Well!" Feilan frowned at me, puffing her cheeks out. "Maybe YOU shouldn't study so much because you look like a grape!" She paused with wide eyes before gently finishing, "that's been out in the sun all day."

I was silenced and I don't know why. Her words simply weren't very impressive; in fact, there was no intelligence in them at all. What stunned me most was the attitude that came out with her funny words and I couldn't help but chuckle.

She stared at me with worry in her eyes. "W-what's so funny?" she asked.

I stared down at her calmly before looking away. "Nothing…" Just so incomprehensibly childish she was.

We continued to stand there in silence, listening to the movements of the water and the whispers of the wind and the singing of the birds. It was quiet and peaceful and I can see that she's calmed down some. Her fair skin stared down at the water as her hair ornaments glittered on her head. A bit of light highlighted her blushing pink lips even though we were in the shade.

"Thank you…" she said as I looked away. "For bringing me here…"

She looked at me with her big brown eyes and gave me that blooming smile of hers. Her eyes twinkled like the stars in the night even though it was still daylight out. I only nodded in response before calmly saying, "I'm sorry you feel sad about your father's death."

I coughed to clear my throat but was surprised to hear a laugh escape the lips of the young girl beside me. "My father's not dead, he's just sleeping. He's just going to be sleeping for a long, long time…" Sun Feilan reached over the railing as a butterfly made its way and perched onto her forefinger. "He's dreaming a wonderful dream now, I believe. I hope he's dreaming of me too."

"I don't understand, are you…?" I stared at her, confused by her words. Did she really not know, or was she just crazy.

She stared at the beauty of the butterfly and watched as it flew away from us. "My Baba's just been sleeping for a long time."

"But…" I still didn't understand. "What do you mean? He's no longer alive; his life ended a long time ago."

Feilan stared at me, confused as to why I didn't understand before giggling. "What exactly do YOU mean?" She shook her head as though I couldn't understand, and I still didn't understand. "When a person sleeps, where does the mind go? Nobody knows. Nobody asks that question. So when a person dies, how do we know we don't wake up somewhere else? That is not the end." She began to hum to herself as she walked along the wooden boards.

I only stared at her, quite dumbfounded, but followed after her. "I…suppose… But if that isn't the end, then what is?"

"Maybe there isn't an end." She held her fingers together behind her back as she strolled about the water garden.

"But if the brain is dead, then wouldn't the mind also—"

"What are you talking about?" She laughed and cut me short as she turned to me with that lovely grin of hers. She poked at her temple and said, "Didn't you know? The brain and the mind are two different things." I stared at her, narrowing my eyes in thought. "The brain, I've heard, is an organ that governs one's body, but the mind is where all of one's memories are kept, where the roots of emotions come from, and where all of one's intelligence is stored." I suppose she has a point. "So then, won't you tell me, since you're so knowledgeable, when you go to sleep, where does your mind go?"

"M-me?" I was taken aback by this, wondering how this conversation came to be again. I had to think long and hard about the answer as I followed the young woman around as she hopped about on the wooden boards, staring excitedly at the colorful fish. "I don't know."

"So then when we die, how do we know we won't wake up somewhere else?"

I stared at her, beginning to smile a little. "I don't know…" Perhaps I was relieved that she wasn't crying anymore because instead, I got to see her smile. And instead of listening to her cry, she made me think instead. I've never thought…this child could do something like that to me, make me think. She can't even pronounce 'filial' right. Sometimes…these things about her make me so angry. How she is such a cry baby, a child, a klutz, a mess and I am still enchanted by her… Enchanted…have I been enchanted by her? Have I been bewitched by this child and her extraordinarily clumsy grace and radiant eyes?

"Then I suppose, instead of wondering where the end is, why not think of it as a beginning," she said, "elsewhere."

I watched her as the breeze blew against her, making her robes form around her small body and her hair ornaments chime delightfully. "Then won't you tell me, where do you think you'll wake up?"

"Me?" She stopped twirling in place and looked at me with those large, round eyes of her. "Maybe somewhere up in the sky, sleeping on a cloud. And then I'll get up and see my father training up there and I'll get to see him and hug him and talk to him again, just like I used to when I was a little girl." She smiled contently at her hopeful thoughts and I couldn't help but remember a little girl with twin buns on her head, running out of a room, crying, before knocking into me. "And then everything beautiful will bloom there and maybe I'll see my mother and my sisters and my brother while they still happily live here on the earth. Maybe I'll see an adult rhino cry, looking for his mother, and I'll help him and maybe I'll leave grapes out to soak up the sun. And then there'll be good food every day at every hour and I can eat everything I want without gaining weight. I'll say good morning to the sun every sunrise and I'll say good night to the sun when it goes to sleep and I'll dance beneath the moonlight to tire me out before I go back to sleep again."

"You're…" I started as I stared at the young woman as she only stared at me, listening and waiting for me to finish. "You're a child."

She frowned at me before turning around. "Well, you're a child too." She shrugged as she hummed along with her steps around the bridges.

"W-what?" She just called me a child.

"My father said, 'an adult is only a grown up child', especially men. He said sometimes men don't know how to grow up." She turned around again and smiled at me with her blushing pink lips and twinkling eyes. "I'd say you might just be as childish as me!" She hopped over to me, "I'll bet there's a child in you somewhere!" She began poking at me with her forefingers, trying to get a laugh out of me by tickling me, but I only grabbed her wrists and leaned forward towards her.

I'll admit, I was ticklish, but I was not going to satisfy her with a laugh. "If you play with me like that, at least do it somewhere private." I stared into her eyes, trying to remain as serious as possible, but in truth, she tickled my heart the most and I didn't like that. Especially while we're out in the open. Anyone at any moment could see us. "I don't want other people to get the wrong idea."

"Wrong idea…?" She only stared at me, dumbfounded. "Wrong idea…" She looked around in thought… "Wrong…idea?" She looked back at me. "About what?" I only stared at her before frowning at her. Seriously, this child.


Her finger tips slid down my arm, burning everywhere she touched me. In this dark room within the dim light, wherever her fingers touched left a glowing red streak as I just merely stood there, taking in the pain. I breathed out cautiously as her fingers slid through my collar, opening up my robes as her palms felt themselves against my torso, rubbing up and down as she leaned closer, breathing against me with her steamy breath. Her hot, wet tongue slid across my chest and I winced in pain before grabbing a hold of her, making her stare at me with her innocent eyes, but something was different about her. Her eyes… They were no longer innocent, but vibrantly red and mischievous.

She smirked at me mischievously before biting her bottom lip and licking it with her tongue. I stood there, staring at her, standing in the nude before pulling her closer by her hair, locking lips with her. There was a burning sensation in that kiss, but I couldn't let go of her. I've been bewitched by her…

I pulled away, breathing out steam as I stared down at her and her naughty smile. "Take me," she said before repeating in an even more innocent tone, "Take me, Lord Lu Xun, and make me yours and only yours." Her lips broke out into a dark grin and said, "Make your mark on me and I am yours."

I only stared at her, burning all over, but the biggest burn I felt was the fire in my heart, raging as much as I try to contain it. I can't contain it… I can't control it anymore.

I stared down at this child, dressed in dark red robes and glittering ornaments, before swiftly holding up her wrist.

"Let's burn together…" I breathed out in desperation before kissing her wrist with my lips, leaving a burn there.

She winced in pain before I grabbed a hold of her waist and brought her to me, pressing her against me as I began to pull out a hair ornament. It was as though time stopped for a moment as her hair flew free and the room began to light on fire. Time came back and I tossed the ornament away, not even hearing as sound of it hitting the ground as I continued to pull out the rest of her hair ornaments. Her hand touched me and left a searing pain as I tried hard not to cry in pain before pulling her robe open and a hot breeze blew from behind me, blowing open her robes for me. She stood there exposed in front of me as the fire grew bigger. I can smell it all, the burning of wood and the sweat of our bodies. It was poisonous but intoxicating.

She only looked down to her bare shoulder before looking to the other one, pushing off her robes before staring at me, using her thin arms to try and cover herself in a teasing manner. "I want you…" I stood there, pondering the reality. This wasn't real. "…now." But right now, it didn't matter to me, illusion or not, as I grabbed her neck and pushed her down. It didn't make sense, but I don't care, we both fell down into a bed of silk sheets as I caressed her with my lips and felt her with my hands. Everywhere we touched, it burned me but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't hold myself back. The feel of her soft lips, the taste of her sweet mouth, it was all too late. I've been drugged. All I wanted now was to attach myself onto her, feel her skin against mine, to connect her to me, to penetrate her. I'm ready.

I sat up on my knees and stared down at her, clearly exhausted, but in desperate need of more. Because if I don't do it now, I might never get the chance to do it later. I stared down, trapped in the lust that engulfed me before staring in shock at the young child beneath me. "W-what…?!" The young girl only stared up at me with tears in her eyes.

She sniffled and whimpered before laughing cheerfully. "You disgust me, Lord Lu Xun." I blinked and looked down to the young woman beneath me… What happened to the young child just now? "Aren't you going to do it, my Lord?" Her lips spread into a twisted smile before she let out a laugh that sounded much like the young girl who happed appeared just earlier. Her childlike laugh began to mix with her womanly laugh and I sat there in a sick and twisted wet dream, between her opened legs. She propped herself up on her elbows, staring at me expectantly before sitting up and giving me a soft, billowy kiss before pushing me down. "Let me show you how it's done." Her eyes smiled darkly as she sat on me and straddled me before crying out in ecstasy. "Ahh, yes! Ahh…"

I stared up at her through my narrowed eyes, blinded by lust. "S-Sun Feilan…"

She stared at me and smirked as she leaned down against me. "Yes, my Lord?"

"S-S-Sun Feilan!" I immediately sat up, in my dark room, drenched in sweat. There was no fire, not lit candle sticks… Nothing but dim sunlight in my dark room. No one but me in here.

Dawn was approaching.


"Feilan Jie, have you ever been in love?"

I had just happened to walk by the garden while the second daughter or Lord Sun Ce spent her leisure time with her young cousins.

"Why? Is Luban Mei Mei in love~?" Feilan teased her younger cousin as she peeled an orange. Perhaps she was having a snack time, considering she has claimed to have fast metabolism… They say Lord Sun Ce had fast metabolism too, but I don't believe that's something that can be passed down through genes, can it? Perhaps Feilan just uses a lot of energy in whatever it is that she does.

…Speaking of energy…I couldn't help but have flashbacks of last night's dream…

"No! I'm…no!" The young girls and Feilan laughed at poor Sun Luban, blushing in embarrassment. "Just tell me, Feilan Jie Jie!"

"Ahh, have I ever been in love…?" Sun Feilan stared up in thought as a smile was brought to her face. The way the sun shone on her fair skin made her look like a glowing fairy from wonderland. "Ten years ago, I think, there was a young man, or a boy, here, who came with his father on official business. It was just before my Baba died, but to me, he looked like a prince. "

"Was he handsome?"

"He was very handsome, very pretty too. So good looking that he was the talk of the palace at the time that he visited."

"Really? Did you kiss him?"

Feilan laughed and said, "I did! But only on the cheek though. He said only on the cheek because…"

"I was seventeen and you were only seven…" I stared at her beauty across from me.

"…he was seventeen and I was only seven."


"May I kiss you?" A young child sat in my lap as I peeled oranges for the hungry girl.

I stared at her in surprise before smiling and chuckling. "Sure, but only on the cheek though, because I'm seventeen years old and you're only seven."

"Oh, okay!" She grinned at me with twinkling eyes before she innocently placed a small kiss on my cheek. "You're like a prince from a far away land!" I only chuckled at her as I pulled off the white veins from the peeled oranges for her, just as she requested. "Can I ask, what kind of girl do you like?"

"Hmm? Why do you ask?" I quirked a brow at her before handing her a piece of the orange.

"Because," she took a bite as she looked at me with her big, round, and brown eyes. "I like you."

I laughed and she pouted with puffy cheeks, asking me what was so funny. "Nothing." I smiled to the innocent girl. "I can't say what kind of girl I like, because when I see her, whatever kind she is, I know I'll like her. But one thing I can say though is that I want a wife who will always be honest with me, no matter the circumstances."

"Okay! Then my Prince, I will always be honest to you." She smiled happily as she ate the oranges I peeled for her. "My Prince, do you like me then?"

I stared at her before laughing at the innocent child, "I think I might just start to like you."

"Oh!" She beamed happily before cheering, "Yay! Now say 'ah'." I stared in surprise before smiling at the little Sun Feilan held out a piece of orange to me. She didn't even ask for my name yet. "You are as sweet as an orange."


"Ahh…if I had to think about it, since I am now seventeen years old, he must be about twenty-seven."

"Does Feilan Jie want to see her prince again?"

"Yeah! I do!" I stared at her nonchalantly but a soft smile made its way to my face. "But I don't remember his name, unless he didn't tell me. How dare he not tell me?!" I frowned as she huffed in annoyance. "But then I woke up in my bed, so I guess he was just someone from my dreams… Hmm…oh well."

My frown turned into a glare of annoyance… A dream, she says? I was so bothered and irritated in my chest that I thoughtlessly made my way towards the group of girls, watching as Feilan began to peel off the white veins from the peeled orange. The girls only stared at me in question as I hunched over with my hands on the table, staring long and hard at Sun Feilan.

Her younger cousins only stared at me in silently before Feilan held out the peeled orange in front of me. "Some orange?"

I stared down at the peeled orange before looking back into her eyes. "How about a kiss? Because I am twenty-seven and you are now seventeen." She only stared at me in question before I grabbed her chin from across the table and pulled her close, closing the distance between our lips as the girls began to widen their eyes and smile, completely scandalized. It was as if the whole world stopped when the wind blew against us, as if telling us that fate had finally caught up to us.

A hand waved in front of my eyes and pretended to poke them. "Some orange…?" Her voice trailed out, confused as to why I came and slammed my hands on the table they sat at. I suppose she was hungry because she couldn't help but put a piece of orange in her mouth and chew on it, scrunching up her face.

"You're impossible!" I frowned at her and stood up, crossing my arms and tapping my foot.

She gave me a sour face and shook her head. "Lord Lu Xun, you are as sour as an orange." I glared at her before turning my back, just about to make my way back where I came from but turned back to the girls again. I grabbed the orange from her and took a bite out of it only to scrunch up my face all of a sudden. I thought she was just saying it for the heck of it, but this orange was really sour. I sucked it up and swallowed it before stuffing the rest of the orange in my mouth and walked away.

I didn't understand why I did that, perhaps because I didn't understand that my pride was hurt. If only I was more awake as to what I was feeling inside.