Chapter Two

Jude sat there in total disbelief, "My mom can't be dead, it just can't be true" Jude kept going over and over in her head. She then looked up to see her sister run up to her as Jamie and Speed follow behind her.

"Oh my gosh, Jude, is mom okay?" Sadie said crying.

"No Sades...she isn't..." Jude said as she busted out in tears.

"Jude? What is wrong with mom?" Sadie said being even more worried.

"Sadie she is dead." Jude said crying harder and hugged her sister tightly.

The next few days felt empty and hollow. The once full mailbox with letters from their mother was now completely empty. And Jude had no desire to record or even think about it. Then there was a knock on the door but no one wanted to go answer it.

"Come in." Jude said faintly.

"Hey, Jude." Speed said as he walked in the house.

"Hey.." Jude said as she laid on the couch.

"Dude, you don't look so good." Speed said as he leaned on the side of the couch.

"What a coincidence. I don't feel good either." Jude said as she put her face in a pillow.

"Jude come on. I know it's hard..but you're mom doesn't want you to mope around like this." Speed said.

"But..Speed I could have caused her death." Jude said lifting up crying.

"Oh Jude." Speed said hugging her.

"Speed..I might have killed my mom." Jude said crying.

"Jude, don't say that." Speed said comforting her.

"But the last time I saw her I was fighting with her, and she was upset, and then she got in a car wreck, so that must have meant she was upset and..just.." Jude said crying so hard she lost her words in her mind.

"Jude..it's okay. Just calm down. It's going to be alright." Speed said releasing from the hug.

"No it's not..I've screwed up everything in my life. I hate myself." Jude said looking down crying.

Speed lifted her head up. "How could you hate such a sweet, amazing, beautiful girl like you?" he said starring in her eyes.

"Speed..." Jude said before Speed kissed her. As they both pulled away slowly they heard Sadie coming downstairs.

"Um..am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"Uh...no." Jude said as she got up and wiped her tears.

"Uh. Yeah, we were just talking." Speed said.

"Okay..um Jude I'm going to the grocery store do you need anything?" Sadie asked as she put on her jacket.

"Um..no. I don't think so." Jude said.

"Okay then, I'll see you later. Bye Jude, bye Speed." Sadie said as she walked outside.

"Um..." Jude said as she sat back down.

"Yeah..um.." Speed said as he looked down.

"Want some lunch..?" Jude said as she got up breaking the awkward silence.

"Jude. We can't act like it never happened." Speed said lifting up off the couch.

"But we have to. Speed, I have a boyfriend." Jude said.

Speed sighed. He wished that little Tommy Q would fall off a bridge already. Couldn't Jude tell that he wasn't right for her? That he was the only one for her. I mean, did she feel that kiss?

"See? No matter what you always choose him. I gotta go." Speed said as he headed for the door.

"Speed wait..can't you give me time to think?" Jude said as she ran after him and turned him around to face her.

"Jude..I've waited and waited. But nothing has changed. You still pick him. But who was the one to hold you when you cry or the one that cares about you or thinks about you constantly or writes songs about you..or the one who loves you?" Speed said.

Jude was hearing all of it but trying to let it all soak in. Speed really did love her. But did she love him too? She thought she did. But whenever she thought of Speed...

Then there was a knock at the door. Speed looked over at the door. "Look, it's your boyfriend. Right on time. I guess I better leave."

"Yeah, that would actually be a good idea." Tommy said as he walked over and kissed Jude.

Speed rolled his eyes. It hurt him so much to see that. Every time there is a slight chance that Jude might tell her feelings about Speed there comes Tommy. He was always in the way.

"Bye, Jude." Speed said as he walked out the door.

Jude sighed. "Tommy..I'm sorry I just want to be left alone." Jude said as she sat on the couch.

"Oh so you can make time for that loser Spedierman, and not your boyfriend?" Tommy asked getting mad.

"He is not a loser!" Jude said looking at Tommy with an angry expression across her face.

"Whoa, calm down. I won't make fun of your little..whatever. But remember you have me. You don't need guys like that." Tommy said like he was all that.

"Well maybe I'd rather have guys like that than you." Jude said looking down.

"Excuse me?" Tommy said walking in front of Jude fuming.

Jude then stood up. "You know what, guys like Speed care about me! They don't party with their stupid friends and models while their girlfriend's mom just died!" Jude said starting to cry.

"Well you know what, then why don't you just go marry that loser? Cause we are over!" Tommy said storming out of the house.

Jude then walked upstairs to cry on her bed. "Mom, why did you have to leave?" Jude said through her tears.