Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
:-:-:-:
Her brain skips like a broken record on the thought.
Milah. His Milah.
A woman shrouded in mystery.
Milah.
A name stamped on the forearm of her pirate.
Milah.
An unknowable ghost that Killian had clung to for hundreds of years.
Now she was no longer just a name, just a story. Milah was flesh and blood and she was embracing Killian. Jealousy stirs in Emma's belly and rejection clenches her heart.
A loud, rich, laugh bubbles out of Killian as he pulls away from the kiss. The sound transfixes Emma. It seems so much lighter, so free and easy, so different. She watches as they stay wrapped in each other, smiling and talking. Then Killian kisses her one more time before turning away, his smile wide and his swagger more exaggerated than usual. He looks towards Emma and she tenses in anticipation of the moment when he sees her. His eyes sweep right over her; not lingering for a second. The wind rushes from her lungs, and she feels like she just took a punch to the gut. He turns and begins to walk away from her; a small crowd of pirates following in his wake. His laugh sounds above his crew as he strides towards the taverns. Then, as if being pulled by a string, her body jerks forward and follows him.
Emma thinks vaguely of confronting him and asking, no demanding, that he explain what the hell is going on. But then she realizes what his explanation might include and she finds she isn't eager to have that conversation. She doesn't want to be told that he still loves Milah, that he wants to be with Milah and that whatever they had didn't compare to his hundreds year attachment to his first love.
Emma is so lost in her thoughts and self-pity that she runs right into a short man walking in the opposite direction.
"Sorry." she mumbles and looks down at the man. Her eyes widen in shock "Smee?"
Smee takes a step back. "Uh. Yes. Do I know you?"
She notices his clothes look a little nicer than normal. "But. Why aren't you with Kill…I mean Captain Hook?"
"Captain Who? You must have me confused with someone else. Excuse me."
Emma steps aside as Smee rushes away. Bewildered she turns back and sees Killian's crew disappearing into a tavern. She glances at the name "The Mermaid" and comprehension flashes through her brain like lightning.
The Jolly Roger, Milah, his red vest, his hand, Smee not with his Captain and the unlikely name of that tavern. Emma wasn't just in the Enchanted Forest; she was 200 some odd years in the past. A feeling of cold dread washes over her. She didn't need Henry's storybook to tell her what was going to happen tonight.
Killian had never told her the full story of how he lost his hand to Rumplestilskin and Emma had never wanted to dig up the painful memory. But ever since the beanstalk she had been curious. Her curiosity was sated one night at The Rabbit Hole, just after returning from New York. She ran into the former First Mate of The Jolly Roger at the bar. Smee was very talkative and more than willing to tell stories about his Captain in exchange for alcohol. It was through Smee that she had learned how Milah had met Kilian, how she had died, and even how Killian had come to know a young Neal in Neverland. Smee, relished telling the tale and had a keen eye for details, like the names of taverns.
From Smee's stories Emma guessed that tonight Killian would run into Rumplestilskin on his way back to the ship and tomorrow he would lose his love and his hand. She thinks of his broad smile and deep laugh on the ship and realizes that tomorrow they would be obliterated; replaced by a thin smirk and a cruel chuckle. Killian Jones was about to become Captain Hook. And even though it all happened hundreds of years ago Emma feels her heart break and she is seized by a mad desire to warn him. To do what she knows she shouldn't, change the course of his life and save him the pain of losing his love, of turning into a man consumed by revenge.
She approaches the tavern and looks through the window. She sees him laughing and drinking with his crew at a central table. There are no bar wenches surrounding him this time but he looks happier than did in that other tavern, hundreds of years in his future. Emma feels a weird prickle on her skin and her eyes are drawn to a dark corner.
She gasps. There, at a far table, sits Mr. Gold. His skin is a bit less sparkly then when Emma last saw him in the Enchanted Forest but it is him just the same. She watches the predatory way he examines Killian and she realizes that it is too late to stop their meeting. They hadn't met by accident as Smee said, Gold had orchestrated the entire event.
"I do hope you don't fancy yourself in love with him." Emma jumps at the voice. A soft, feminine lilt with a hard edge. She turns to see Milah standing five feet away her hands on her hips, a look of sympathy in her eyes. Emma is too shocked to do anything but stare.
Up close she can see that Milah is wearing leather pants and a leather vest, a plain sword strapped to her side, and a large necklace drawing attention to her chest. She can also see that Milah is beautiful, with kind, pale, blue eyes that are sparkling in the light shining from the tavern windows. She is older than Emma expected and she wonders at the age gap between her and Killian. Not that she is one to judge considering the hundreds of years age gap in her two serious relationships.
"I saw you. At the docks. Staring at him with moony eyes. Following him." Milah takes a step closer and Emma can sense the strength and confidence radiating off her. Her voice isn't possessive or angry; she isn't jealous or worried. She sounds almost as if she pities Emma. "Let me save you some time. He's not interested."
Milah doesn't wait for a response but strides toward the tavern door.
"No. Wait." Emma cries before she can think.
Milah turns towards her with a raised eyebrow. In Smee's story Rumplestilskin didn't know Milah was alive. If Milah hadn't followed Emma she wouldn't be here; which means she wasn't meant to go into that tavern.
"You…uh…you can't go in there."
Milah rolls her eyes and places her hand on the door, uninterested in listening to strangers on the street.
"Rumple is in there." Emma blurts the only thing she thinks will stop the woman. And it does stop her, it stops her cold. Her face drains of color.
"What did you say?" she demands, the kindness gone.
"Rumplestilskin, your husband, is in there." Emma replies slowly wondering vaguely if she is doing even more damage to the timeline.
"How do you know that?
"I…um…" Emma has no ready answer. Milah, her eyes flashing, draws her sword and points it at Emma.
"Who the hell are you?"
Emma's eyes dart down to the polished metal and she forces herself not to take a step back. "Whoa. Slow down sister. I am just trying to help."
Milah's eyes narrow but she doesn't lower her sword. "Not good enough. I caught you following my Captain. You know about a husband I haven't seen in almost a decade. So I ask again, who are you?"
Emma is struck by how fierce this woman is and she is impressed.
"Emma."
"Okay Emma. How do you know about me and Rumple?"
Emma takes a deep breath trying to decide what she can say to make Milah lower the sword and keep the timeline from imploding.
"I…I can't tell you that. Just trust me, I am a friend. And I am telling you that if you go in there Rumplestilskin will kill you."
Milah starts to laugh and she drops her sword to her side. It's not the reaction Emma is expecting. She crinkles her forehead. "Whats so funny?"
Milah shakes her head and her laugh subsides. "Rumple! Rumple couldn't kill anyone. He is a coward." Milah practically spits out the last word.
"A lot has changed since you left him. He is the Dark One now."
Milah's eyes bulge "What? Impossible!"
"I'm sorry but it's true. He has magic, powerful magic. He became the Dark One to protect your son."
"Baelfire." she murmurs. Emma nods her own mind filling with images of Neal.
They are silent, each lost in sad contemplation. Killian's laugh breaks over them; echoing from the tavern. Emma turns, her eyes drawn to him. She is struck again by how carefree and happy he seems.
"You know him." It isn't a question. Emma looks up and sees Milah looking between Emma and Killian.
"Yeah. Well no…actually…we haven't met."
Milah's eyes narrow, unconvinced. Emma's stomach picks that moment to growl.
"Are you hungry?"
Emma realizes it's been hours since she ate that pop tart. Another growl of her stomach answers for her.
Milah nods. "Come with me. There is more than one tavern in this town. I will pay."
"Oh. You don't have to do that." Emma protests; aware of the danger of spending more time with her.
"I insist. And besides you can repay me with a story."
A half hour later Emma is finishing off her soup in a dimly lit, sparsely filled, tavern a few streets down from "The Mermaid". Milah hasn't spoken to her, merely observing while they ate. Emma prefers the quiet, her mind working overtime on how she should handle this situation. The last time she was in the past Killian had been adamant about not interfering and keeping a low profile. Emma knows that small changes could have dire consequences. But she also wonders how much damage she could do to the timeline by telling Milah the truth. After all the woman was going to die in the morning. The thought that this beautiful, strong, courageous, and kind woman was living through her last hours, made Emma's heart ache. She wanted to find a way to save her life. But this wasn't like the last time, Milah wasn't Marian. She died in Killian's arms and there was no way to change that without changing everything that came after.
"So." Milah's smooth voice breaks into her thoughts. "Emma. Have you decided what story you are going to tell me? Or perhaps you could just tell me the truth."
Emma pushes away her soup. She appreciates Milah's honesty and feels compelled to be honest in return.
"Look I can't give you the answers you want. Just know that I am only trying to help you and Killian."
Emma looks up and is shocked to see Milah's eyes shining with moisture in the low light. Emma reaches out her hand wanting to offer comfort but Milah jerks away. She gives her a glare that has Emma shrinking in her seat.
"How long?" the words come through Milah's gritted teeth.
"What?"
"How long have you been his whore?"
"Whoa! I am not Killian's…We haven't even…I mean. I am not his…He LOVES you! Milah he would never…" Milah held up her hand and Emma quieted immediately.
"Stop! You say you don't know Killian. But I never told you his name, or my name. You know about Rumple, about Baelfire, who else but Killian could have told you about them? And I SAW the way you looked at him on the docks and outside the tavern. You love him." Milah's voice begins to break "If you aren't his wench then…does he…are you my replacement?" A tear slides down her face as she lowers her head, unable to look at Emma.
Emma feels a rush of guilt and shame for making Milah doubt Killian's love. She can't let this woman go to her grave doubting. Emma can see only one way to convince her of Killian's devotion. She doesn't stop to think of the consequences.
"Milah. I swear to you on my son's life that the Killian sitting in "The Mermaid" has never met me."
Milah raises her head a look of contempt curling her lips. But Emma continues speaking in a calm and steady voice. "He hasn't met me but he will meet me, in the future."
-.-
~.~
_'_
Authors Note: Thanks for the follows and favs guys. Put this out a bit early because I know I need something to distract me from that episode! I know it's all a bit wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey. But that is on purpose! Shout out to carmi-believes-in-love for pumping me up on this! Let me know your thoughts! And as always thanks for reading!
