Year 2
Chapter 2: I'll bet nobody in this world is as happy as us~.
Togepi jumped from a tall tree with a flip. When she was upright, she twirled around and yelled, "[Gorgeous Stones~]" while charging power deep within herself.
As she charged enough power, the ground far below her began to glow. Huge rocks tore themselves from the earth and floated up to meet her.
Smiling, she delicately landed on a rock on her tippy toes. She gave a twirl and cried, "[Sweeeet Hearts~]" with a leap. She left a glorious trail of hearts as she sailed to one of the other rocks. After landing on it, she twirled and leaped to another one, leaving more trails of hearts.
She kept on going with her routine for a good long while. The whole way through, she'd lapped up the cheers and praises of all the pichus watching. All of which were sitting along the bones of the nasty monster she'd slain last year. It was so glorious!
When she was finished, she stayed put on a rock and allowed it to fall. While she came down, she twirled like a ballerina and yelled, "[Sweet Hearts~!]" She produced a lovely flurry of hearts from her mouth, which sprayed out all around the rock in a beautiful funnel as she fell.
Just before the rock slammed into the ground, she jumped and cried, "[Pretty Dome!]" A small, glowing bowl-shaped energy appeared at her feet, the opening side-up. She stayed inside of it, allowing it to cushion her fall as it crashed into the rubble left behind by the destroyed rock.
Allowing her Pretty Dome to fade away, Togepi gave a bow to her eager audience.
The pichus above broke out into roaring applause.
"[Amazing! Simply amazing!]" Pi-Happy cried out.
"[How are her performances always so amazing!?]" Pi-Shallow gasped loudly, putting his paws to his chest in astonishment.
"[I wanna encore! Give us an encore!]" Pi-Brave shouted, jumping up and down.
Togepi giggled proudly. Oh, she would never get sick of this feeling. Even after a year of living here, on what she and her friends had decided to call 'Pi-Island'. It was a far cry from being nicknamed based on… assumptions on her weight!
"[She must be one of the prettiest pokémon in the world with moves like that!]" Pi-Cutie continued.
Pi-Needs-More-Confidence sighed. "[I'll never be anywhere near as pretty as her...]" she said sadly.
"[Aww, don't say that!]" Pi-Argues replied. "[She might be amazing... but you can be amazing, too!]"
She gave him a look of awe. She nervously fiddled with her tail. "[O-Ohh, I don't… think that's true…]"
"[Yeah, me neither,]" Pi-Bratty responded, wiping his nose. "[Show-Off-Pi is top tier! Ain't no one can compare!]"
"[Aww. Y-Yeah...]"
Pi-Argues frowned at him. "[What!? Nuh-uh, Pi-Bratty! You're full of crud!]" he said, sounding annoyed.
"[What!? No, you!]" Pi-Bratty retorted.
Pi-Argues gasped, looking very offended.
Noticing their growing aggression, Togepi tried to give them a stern look. It was hard to keep it up without beaming about the fact that people were fighting over her greatness, but she did her best, anyway. "[Now, now, you two…! My performances may be the bee's knees, but Pi-Needs-More-Confidence has her good traits, too! … Even if she doesn't admit it, much.]"
"[Yeah, yeah! Like... her singing is real good!]" Pi-Argues agreed happily.
"[N-No, that's... um...]" Pi-Needs-More-Confidence started, blushing.
Togepi looked at her eagerly. "[Oh? I don't think I've heard your singing, before, my darling!]" she said. "[Why don't you give us all a show of your own?]"
The mouse gave her a wide-eyed look. "[Huh!? Um, b-but...]"
"[If you do...]" Togepi continued, "[I'll put on another performance for everyone~]"
Everyone cheered at once.
"[Well, I was interested before...]" Pi-Curious started, "[but now I really wanna to see it! Sing for us, Pi- ... Um... Err...]"
"[We all call her 'Pi-Needs-More-Confidence', because of her extreme modesty,]" Pi-Smart-Alec explained.
"[Oh, right. Well... sing for us, Pi-Needs-Confidence!]" Pi-Curious corrected incorrectly.
"[Yeah, you can do it! Wooo!]" Pi-Brave agreed.
"[Your voice is lovely, so I can only imagine what you sound like singing~]" Pi-Pleasant agreed.
All the other pichus called out similar things about wanting to hear Pi-Needs-More-Confidence sing for them.
The pichu gave a small hint of a smile. "[W-Well... I... guess I could...]" she mumbled, fidgeting around with her tail.
"[Oh, please do! We all believe in you, my dear~]" Togepi said, giving her a big beaming smile.
Pi-Needs-More-Confidence's smile went even brighter. "[O-O-Okay! I'll… I'll sing!]"
Everyone cheered loudly at hearing that. Especially Pi-Argues, who was dancing about excitedly, too.
Before Pi-Needs-More-Confidence could start, Togepi gasped as something came to mind. Oh, she was such a genius! She concentrated and cried, "[Gorgeous Stone~!]"
The ground in front of her glowed with a bright power. A big rock erupted out from it, which she levitated into the air, near the huge bones the pichus were sitting on.
When the stone was in front of Pi-Needs-More-Confidence - hovering at a height where she could walk onto it - Togepi waved towards the mouse invitingly. "[Come along, my girl! There's singing to be had!]" she called out.
"[Oh, um... okay!]" Pi-Needs-More-Confidence replied. She stepped onto the rock, which Togepi then levitated high above her own head.
The mouse cleared her throat and, after a small pause, began to sing.
Everyone listened to the beautiful sounds that left her lips in quiet awe, as she stood upon her floating stage. The song she sang was really slow, yet very lively. Much different to any of the songs she'd heard her friends from her old home sing.
Togepi couldn't help but feel enamored herself. Wow... Pi-Argues hadn't been wrong! This girl had some serious talent! She'd been a bit shaky at first, most likely due to nerves, poor thing... but the longer she sang, the more beautiful her voice sounded by the second!
Togepi wasn't the jealous type. Not by a long shot... but even she found herself wishing that her voice was as melodious as that. Some girls had all the luck!
After a short while, Pi-Needs-More-Confidence rounded off her song on a beautiful high note. Once she was done, she looked up at everyone with a bright blush on her face. "[U-Um… so, um… h-how… was it?]" she asked.
Everyone broke into applause. Togepi did, too, though she made sure to concentrate on holding the rock up at the same time. "[It looks like everyone loved it, my dear~! You're very talented!]" she praised, allowing the rock to hover closer to the bones. When it was close enough, Pi-Needs-More-Confidence hesitantly hopped onto the bones. She was immediately surrounded by the other pichus.
"[Yeah, I told ya, girl!]" Pi-Argues cheered. "[That was beautiful!]"
"[Oh, um... th-... thanks, everyone!]" Pi-Needs-More-Confidence replied. As she glanced around, Togepi saw a mad blush on her face. "[I... didn't think it would be so well liked.]"
"[Well, of course it is~]" Pi-Pleasant replied. "[You're a lovely singer indeed~!]"
Pi-Happy gasped. "[A 'lovely singer'? Man, that's a way, way better name for her! We should call her that! 'Pi-Lovely-Singer'!]" she sang.
Everyone mumbled amongst themselves excitedly. The idea was clearly catching on, and Togepi herself had no complaints! It was certainly better than calling her something like Chubb- ... Er, something bad. Yes.
Shaking her head to clear her potentially horrid thoughts away, Togepi beamed brightly. "[Okay, my friends...]" she started, "[in honor of that wondrous performance... I believe that it is time for another show to celebrate Pi-Lovely-Singer~!]" She let some Lovely Fireworks fly out of the top of her head at the announcement. Lots of cheering and warm smiles followed suit. Especially from Pi-Lovely-Singer in the smiling department.
Togepi giggled lightly. Lovely Fireworks for a lovely singer. How lovely! The thought inspired her to go all out with her following performance. The feeling in her heart was indescribable, as everyone cheered for her and the newly realized singer. To say that she was feeling pure joy would be an understatement!
"[I'll bet nobody in this world is as happy as us~]" Togepi murmured to herself as she allowed her Sweet Hearts to pour out of her shell.
Laying on her front on top of a pillow, Prinplup sighed. She was so bored. So very goddamn bored. It was safe to say that, just like usual, she was anything but happy.
She'd been in this job for the last three freaking years, and she wasn't getting any less sick of it. Sure, she'd loved it at first… but now? It was the most dull thing she could imagine doing.
Oh well. At least she was almost done. She'd gotten a sixth sense for how long her 'work sessions' would take, so her guess was that she was about... halfway there.
She rested her head on her flippers, closed her eyes and relaxed. She nearly drifted off when she felt a warm sensation in her lower abdomen.
The penguin blinked herself awake. Huh? When she felt something remove itself from her, she came to her senses. Oh, right. Finally, she was done for a few weeks.
She gave a long drawn out breath and got to her feet. She dusted herself off and smoothed out her feathers to hide her unmentionables away. "[All done?]" she asked, turning to face her 'partner' for this session.
The empoleon - who everyone called 'Stud-Leon' - gave her a weird look. "[Er... yeah...]" he said. He moved over to the basin, probably to wash off his man parts.
"[Okay, cool... Guess I'm gonna go and lounge, then,]" Prinplup replied. She started towards the door. She coughed as the smell of scented candles hit her especially hard. Ughh, god, why did they have to fill all the rooms in this breeding center with those stupid things? They tickled her nose and did nothing for her 'mood', despite being aphrodisiacs.
"[Man, the other guys weren't kidding with their nicknames. You really are a 'Prin-Feels-Nothing-In-Bed',]" he said.
She frowned tiredly at him. He was the third one to have said something like that. "[Eh, not really. I've been 'feeling it' for the past three years straight, though. And when that happens, you kind of get... used to it. Do you get me?]"
He gave her a weird look. "[Uh... if it was you doing pushups every day of your life or something, then sure, but... with baby making? Really!?]"
"[Mm...]"
"[... Wow...]" He packed his man parts away back into his feathers. "[I've given many ladies their fair share of kids, before... but dude, you're a weird one, no offense.]"
"[None taken.]" She yawned. "[Welp... like I said, I'm gonna go lounge. You wanna join?]"
"[Err... later, maybe? There's, like... three other ladies I've gotta go see, first, but maybe after.]"
"[Kewl...]" She wandered outside of the 'private room' as the breeders called it. Free from the scent of exotic candles, she took a deep breath of fresh air. It was very pleasant, so she felt a little cheered up.
"[Hey, girl!]" a girl's voice called out from nearby. Energetic-Ape, from the sounds of things.
Prinplup faced the infernape. "[Yo...!]" she said with a smile she hoped didn't look too tired.
"[Just finished with a session?]" Energetic-Ape asked. She was gripping onto a male monferno's arm, but he didn't look very enthusiastic. He looked kind of exhausted, actually.
"[Yeaah...]" Prinplup mumbled.
Energetic-Ape looked at her in concern. "[Wow, you're really still not getting into the swing of things, huh?]"
"[Nnnope.]"
"[Doesn't it... feel nice?]"
"[Used to, but... I dunno, it just feels like business, now. S'boring.]"
"[Huh...]" Energetic-Ape sighed. "[Seriously, girl, why don't you just get the breeders to let you go? I think you'd be way happier in any life that ain't this one!]"
Prinplup shrugged. "[Meh. I don't like letting people down, and our breeders are counting on us for those eggs, so...]"
Energetic-Ape looked unsure. "[Hmm... well... alright...]" She smiled again. "[Well, it's only, like, eight minutes every two weeks or so. Could be worse, right?]"
"[Rrright.]"
Energetic-Ape started dragging her 'partner' over to a private room. "[Anyways, see ya later, girl! Gonna keep myself busy~]"
Prinplup snorted in amusement. "[Have fun.]"
"[Speak for yourself...]" the monferno boy groaned. "[My dong feels like it's gonna tear off any second.]"
Energetic-Ape gave him a sassy glance. "[And whose fault is that, mister 'Oh, I can keep on going for five hours straight, trust me'?]"
"[I've got a lot of business to do, gimmie a break!]"
"[Jeez... maybe everyone should call you 'Too-Sexually-Active-Ape', then. Besides, don't complain. It's not like you've gotta lay any damn eggs like us girls. Then you'd really be whining about being sore...]"
Prinplup giggled to herself as they disappeared into a room. That girl was so amusing.
Feeling a bit cheered up, she made her way over to the TV room. Once inside, she lay down on a sofa.
She had just gotten comfy when Albert - a pokémon breeder - showed up. Noticing her, he put his bucket of pokémon food down and shoved his work gloves into his green apron. "Ah, Sleepy! You're here again, are you?" he asked.
Prinplup nodded. "[Eeyup.]"
He readjusted his green bandanna. "Fair enough. Heh, I'll bet you're wanting me to work my magic on the TV, aren't you?"
She shrugged. "[If you want.]"
"You got it!" He picked the remote control up from on top of the TV and aimed it at the thing. "Hocus pocus!"
He pressed a button on the remote. The TV turned on.
She huffed amusedly and waved a flipper at him. "[Thanks.]"
"Haha, no problem. Happy watching!" He picked up his bucket and went elsewhere. Probably to take care of the kids in the daycare of the breeding center. Wherever that was. She'd never actually seen any of the children before, so she didn't know.
She watched what was happening on the screen. She saw a man in safari gear who was laying flat on the ground of a hill, as if hunting something.
"G'day, mates!" the man said in an accent that sounded strangely forced. "Welcome back t' my live show, The Wild Wilderness! Featuring me, Scott Barry!" He pointed towards the top of a hill. "And crikey, buddies, have I got a treat for you today, here in Sinnoh!"
Prinplup tilted her head. Sinnoh, huh? That was where she was right now, pumping out kids for ten year olds to drag along on their journeys. Or something.
The host crawled closer to the top of the cliff. "I was doing my usual safari... and I happened across quite the rare event." He indicated for the camera to peer over the edge. When it did, she saw a large, almost hole-like valley. Inside of it, dozens upon dozens of wild pokémon seemed to be seated around the large hills surrounding the middle. It almost looked like a stadium, or something.
"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it, mates!" the host continued excitedly. "So many wild pokémon gathered in one place, all in perfect harmony. If this ain't the most 'in harmony' nature's ever been with itself, I don't know what is!"
An explosion of dust erupted from the middle of the large valley, right at the bottom of the hills surrounding it. The camera immediately zoomed in on it, revealing an angry fuzzy monkey that had stomped on the ground, causing it to visibly rumble.
Nearby, a spiky dragon shark... thing was stumbling over itself because of the shaking ground. Its mouth started glowing, but before it could do anything, the monkey lunged forwards. Its fist turned strangely icy as it was slammed into the dragon's face, knocking it flat on its back.
Prinplup huffed in realization. Ahh, right... it kind of was a stadium. One for pokémon battling, at that. Tsk, how boyish!
Oh well. At least they seemed to be having more fun than she was in life, so whatever worked for them.
"Aww, strewth, scratch that!" the host said, giving the camera a surprised glance. "Those lil' buggers ain't in harmony at all! We must've stumbled upon some sort of fighting ritual! Maybe one for them to decide upon a mate, or gain themselves some nice territory!"
"I... think they're just fighting. For fun," the cameraman said from off camera.
The host frowned at him. "Who's the expert 'ere, Frank? Primeapes don't just up'n use Bulldoze, before smashin' in a garchomp's face with Ice Punch for fun, now, do they?"
"But... trained pokémon do ." The cameraman paused. "... Wait… actually, yeah, does this even count as 'natural' at this point?"
"Of course it's natural! We're in the wild, ain't we, ya cheeky mongrel!?"
"Er… does that mean we're natural, then?"
"Crikey, you're paid to film me and the great outdoors, not t' go off on one! Pack yer bags, mate, you're frickin' fired!" He reached towards the camera and started pulling on it.
"Huh!? B-But I'm under contract!" the cameraman argued, trying to pull it back. Prinplup could actually see a part of the guy's hand gripping onto the camera, now.
"Not anymore, mate! I'll film my own show! So on yer bike, 'n' tell yer story walkin'!" the host shouted, giving a good tug of the camera. He yelped when it flew out of his hands and started tumbling down the valley.
Prinplup had to blink a few times as the camera continued to tumble downwards, to stop herself from becoming sick. Ugh… she was glad that she wasn't watching this on the last week of her pregnancy. That wouldn't have ended well for anyone.
She huffed in amusement at the scene, though. Shows being 'live' meant that things like this were happening in real time, right? Guess that meant more mistakes and unexpected events were on the table for the show. Pretty funny.
The camera stopped suddenly once it crashed into a section of the valley. One that wasn't very sloped, which stretched around the valley like a ring. Many pokémon were in front of the camera a short distance away, cheering while seated on the less-steep sections of the grass.
Amongst them, Prinplup saw something interesting. A purple pokémon who was sneaking around on two legs, investigating everyone as they were watching the fighting off camera.
Huh… who was that? An inspector?
The pokémon glanced around for a while. Getting a good look at it, Prinplup saw that it was a really unimpressed-looking cat with pink markings above its eyes. Despite the feminine colors, his somewhat masculine features told her that he was a guy. She'd certainly seen enough boys to be able to tell, after all. Sad to say.
The cat's eyes widened when he seemed to notice the camera. He grinned and wandered over to it, giving it a thorough look-through when close enough.
"[Hm. Wonder what this is…]" the… purrloin? … muttered to himself as the camera got a good view of his crotch. There was nothing to see but smoothness, but it amused Prinplup anyway. "[Well, whatever. Hidden Pouch.]"
A shadowy bag appeared onscreen. The purrloin took it and hoisted it over the entire camera, causing the whole screen to be coated in a dark fog.
Seconds later, the screen went to static. Soon after, an image of a charmander setting fire to a broken television appeared. A message appeared above it in human, saying techni… something. Prinplup couldn't read it, but she guessed that the show was pretty much over.
… Oh. Well, that was a thing.
That thing the purrloin had done, though… she remembered seeing it on TV, during a show about pokémon battles, once. Something a trainer had called 'Thief', even though the pokémon that had used it had called it something else. To be a wild pokémon with that kind of move probably only meant one thing…
Prinplup rolled her eyes. Just how screwed up was the world, these days? Burglars in broad daylight. Gods alive…
Oh well, maybe she was wrong. Maybe he was a decent person who simply had a questionable move. Yeah… that had to be it.
As the screen continued to show nothing but that static image, Prinplup sighed and wondered what else was on the TV.
"[Mmm, Channel Changer,]" she half-jokingly mumbled while shooting a bubble from her mouth. It whizzed forwards and smacked into a button on the TV, changing the channel.
A blue-haired human woman in a red apron and a red bandanna appeared onscreen. "-the show for all your breeding needs!" she said, posing happily with a yellow bucket. "Today, we're gonna show you the best way to get your beloved pokémon happy, relaxed, and - if you're really lucky - making you some more beloved pokémon to raise~!"
Prinplup sighed deeply. A show about breeding. Oh, goody.
She lay her head down on the sofa and tried to go to sleep.
"[Oh, excuse me, sorry,]" a roselia said, stepping aside. "[Didn't mean to bump into you, there.]"
"[Hmph. That's okay,]" Purrloin replied, dusting himself off while walking past. He glanced back at the plant. "[Just try to keep your eyes forward next time, alright?]"
"[Y-Yeah, of course,]" the roselia replied. He started walking elsewhere, now a little more alert than before.
Purrloin nodded and also carried on his way.
After a short while, he brought out the small pot he'd pulled from between the roselia's blue petals, while bumping into him. It was a yellowish green with purple stripes.
Grinning, he smelled it. He murmured happily when he caught its sweet flowery scent. "[Heh. An incense, is it?]" he mumbled to himself. How lucky for him. Those were always a fun steal, provided he enjoyed their aroma.
Inhaling its exotic smell one more time, he nodded again, held a paw out and muttered, "[Hidden Pouch.]" A dark sack appeared in his grasp, which he opened up to shove his new treasure into.
When the sack faded away, he glanced around at his surroundings. He smiled in satisfaction. It had been a good idea to sneak into this fighting tournament. One that quite a few different wild pokémon were attending for fun and glory... as well as emptier pockets, whether they liked it or not.
Purrloin himself couldn't stand fighting, considering it a hopeless sport for barbarians... but he couldn't deny that it provided an excellent distraction while he pilfered everyone's belongings.
The tournament was taking place in a large, almost hole-like valley, with the fights taking place right in the middle. Surrounding the scene were many spectators, overlooking the fighting as they sat upon the somewhat steep inclines.
With their attention on the tournament, it was a simple matter of wandering around inconspicuously while taking what he wanted. It was pure heaven for Purrloin, to say the least.
He sneaked past several spectators, many of which were in groups. He concentrated to see if they had any belongings worth taking. Annoyingly, they didn't seem to have much on them. Either that, or stealing whatever they had would be too bothersome.
He sneaked past a group of lopunny girls. They had lots of food, but it was mostly sweet stuff. Tsk, not his kind of thing. Interesting to see women here, though. It was well known that female pokémon often preferred to stay out of conflicts, so to see some watching a fighting tournament was a sight.
He continued onwards. A squeal from behind made him nearly jump a foot in the air. Spinning around, he saw one of the lopunny girls kicking her feet excitedly.
"[There he is! Oooh, it's Determined-Chan!]" she squealed. She waved eagerly towards the bottom of the valley. "[Hi, Determined-Chan, hiiiiii~!]"
Purrloin cringed at the squealing rabbit. Holy shit, if people didn't call her 'Lop-Squealer', then something was clearly off.
More curious than he'd like to admit, he looked down below at the fighters. He eventually noticed a hitmonchan who was gleefully waving back at the rabbit in a modest manner. In response to that, the rabbit squealed happily again, so it couldn't have been anyone else.
"[He waved back! Oh my goodness, I'm so happy~!]" the woman shrieked excitedly.
"[J-Jeez Louise, calm down, Lop-Squeals!]" one of her friends said to her in amusement. "[You're getting too excited again.]"
Purrloin clicked his tongue in amusement. Tsk. So close... Oh well, he preferred his name for her, anyway.
"[How can I, Lop-Flower-Lover!?]" Lop-Squealer continued noisily. "[I've been following Determined-Chan's progress since foreeeeever! His fights are amazing, his confidence is amazing, he's amazing...!]"
"[Sounds to me like ya want him t' be tappin' yer sweet bunny ass, girl!]" one of her other friends practically yelled, catching the attention of some other spectators.
Lop-Squealer flusteredly kicked her feet. "[Lop-No-Filterrrrr! What is wrong with you!?]" she squealed.
"[Just sayin' it how it is, girl!]"
"[Something you do way too much…]" the quietest of the three muttered.
"[You're not kidding…]" Purrloin quietly muttered to himself with a roll of his eyes. He'd never been a fan of noisy women, and now he was beginning to remember why.
He began walking elsewhere to continue looking for things to steal. After a while, he noticed a riolu walking in his direction with a large amount of berries in his paws.
Smirking lightly, he wandered over to the riolu. The dog was quite a bit taller than him, but it wasn't too much of an issue. Once close enough, Purrloin used the tip of his long tail to tap the riolu on the shoulder facing away from him.
Predictably, the riolu murmured in confusion before looking in the opposite direction. Purrloin took that brief moment to leap upwards, snatch a green berry and sprint away.
He weaved in-between the spectators for a while. When he felt completely out of sight, he gave a happy sigh and looked at his bounty. The smile on his lips went even wider when he realized that he'd managed to get an aguav berry.
Heh, good. He really liked bitter food. Hell, perhaps it wouldn't be a stretch to say that he liked it more than other people.
He decided to sit down and eat it. He wasn't really interested in watching the fighting going on in the tournament... so he decided to eavesdrop on the pokémon around him, instead.
He heard the voices of a phanpy and a geodude to his side, so he listened closely as he chewed on the berry's stem.
"[Are you freakin' sure, dude!?]" the phanpy exclaimed.
"[Yup! Not been seen in almost a whole year!]" the geodude responded.
"[But he was... like... the freakin' great protector of the sky, weren't he!? Where's he at!?]"
"[Dunno, brother! He just up and left! Like he left the planet, or something!]"
"[Jeez!]" The phanpy gave a breath before continuing, though in a much calmer manner. "[Eh, well, I heard he was an asshole, anyway, so whatevs.]"
"[Yeah, sing it.]"
"[Hope his kid's less shit.]"
The geodude gasped lightly. "[He had a kid!?]"
"[That's what Grapevine-Tot said, and his gossip's always tight!]"
"[Huh...]" The geodude paused. "[... Who banged him and why?]"
"[... Dunno, don't wanna know,]" the phanpy replied. "[Just hopin' he ain't salty his dad up and left.]"
"[Just like Glam-Snoozes-Plenty was when his mom's evolution scared his old man away?]"
"[Yeah...]"
Savoring the taste of the berry as he bit down on it again, Purrloin pulled a face. Hm? Whoever could they be talking about with this 'missing pokémon'?
With a description like 'the protector of the sky who's also an asshole', he could only imagine that it was a legendary. Whichever one it was, though, was lost on him.
Well, whatever. At least he'd left a legacy, apparently. Good for him.
Tired of their conversation, Purrloin turned his attention to his other side. He huffed when he noticed that the spectators on that side were too far away to hear properly.
He turned back to take another bite of his berry. He paused when he noticed two pachirisus sitting lower down on the hill in front of him. One of them was nuzzling into the neck of the other one, so they were obviously lovers.
They were easily close enough to hear, so he listened intently.
"[W-What have I told you about doing that in publiiic~?]" the one being nuzzled whined playfully, putting its book down. Purrloin couldn't easily tell its gender.
"[It's okay, Pachirisu! No one cares about what we're up to~]" the other pachirisu replied impishly. His voice was also hard to pinpoint, but it was a little bit deeper than the other pachirisu's, so sure, girl and boy, whatever.
Purrloin's eyebrows rose as he realized something. They were on an 'actual name basis', huh? In pokémon culture, that was usually something reserved for two pokémon who were particularly close. Not that pokémon usually had anything other than a species name to go off, but all the same.
"[But…]" the apparently female pachirisu started. Groaning, she gently pushed his head away to give him a pouty look. "[You know, you're just always so rash with everything all the time! Why do you think Mom and Dad kicked us outta our house?]"
The male pachirisu looked back at her and chuckled. "[There's a reason all our friends called me 'Pachi-Careless'!]" he joked.
"[I couldn't agree with them more…!]" she agreed, tapping her nose against his with a sultry look on her face.
Chewing the rest of the berry, Purrloin stalled slightly. He'd gotten enough of a view of the sides of their faces to see the triangle patterns on their heads. How odd… Pachirisus' genders were normally separated by the size of the triangle on their foreheads. Large ones for males and small ones for females.
So with that in mind… why were their triangles right in the middle, where it was near impossible to decide either way? And why was it the same case for both of them, at that? Tsk, it was fairly obvious what they must have bonded over at the beginning of their relationship, that much was for certain.
He eyed up the female pachirisu's book while they shared their little moment, wondering if he should steal it. He sometimes liked reading books, after all.
After much thought, he decided not to. It was rare to see another pokémon that could be bothered to take up such a precious hobby, so he would leave her be.
"[You know…]" the male pachirisu said, returning her half-lidded gaze, "[part of me's really glad Mom caught us when we were fooling around.]"
Her eyes widened. "[Huh? Why's that?]"
"[Isn't it obvious? It means I get my beautiful little sis all to myself, without no one to judge us or force us to be all secretive anymore.]"
Purrloin spat out his berry. Wha- … What!?
He looked around frantically. No one else seemed to have heard that, so he wondered if he'd actually heard things right, himself.
The female pachirisu blushed brightly and brought her paws to his lips to shush him. "[H-Hey…! Don't say that so loudly…!]"
He looked slightly sheepish. "[A-Ah, yeah, right. Shouldn't let everyone find out, right?]"
"[Y-Yeah, that, and it's… really embarrassing hearing that come out of your lips, big brother…! Sappy stuff doesn't suit you at all!]"
Purrloin's eyes widened even further. Oh shit. They really were, weren't they?
The male pachirisu blinked before smirking. "[Naww, no way! I'll bet you secretly love it, don't'cha?]"
"[… Nope!]" she replied coyly.
"[Haha, that's exactly what'cha said about something else, if I remember right…]"
She tilted her head. "[Eh? What about?]"
"[This!]" He lunged forwards and tackled her to the ground before blowing raspberries on her stomach. The same thing an… older brother would do to entertain his little sister. He carried on despite her desperate pleas, which sounded both amused and embarrassed.
Seeing this strangely intimate display, Purrloin dropped his berry and got to his feet. Ick… Suddenly, he wasn't feeling so hungry anymore. For the love of all Hell, what was the world coming to these days!?
He walked away at a rapid pace. When he got far enough, he huffed. Well… he guessed he could see where they were coming from. It still left a bad taste in his mouth, but he could understand it. Wanting someone to confide in when no one else believed in you. Sadly, he knew that feeling all too well… though he'd substituted the incest with stealing, instead. Thankfully.
He clenched his teeth in frustration and picked up the pace. Ah, whatever. He didn't need to think about his family right now. Or others enjoying their own families a little too much. He would much rather go back to taking things from some hapless saps.
He wandered closer to a kecleon, who seemed to be giving things away to a long line of pokémon, in exchange for berries and the like. Almost like a shopkeeper, or something.
Eyeing some kind of human drink in a can on the kecleon's blanket, Purrloin sneaked around the busy reptile. He walked a fair distance away before turning around, holding his paw out and mumbling, "[That's Mine.]"
His paw glowed dark purple. A small, dark cloth appeared under the drink and wrapped it up in a neat sack-like bundle. It disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, taking the drink with it.
He grinned to himself. The grin fell off his face when the kecleon smelled the air and turned around to investigate, looking perturbed.
Clicking his tongue, Purrloin ran in the opposite direction. Weaving through spectators, he kept running until he was sure he was a safe distance away. He glanced around to confirm before taking a deep breath and sitting down. He tiredly muttered, "[Hidden Pouch...]"
His dark sack landed in front of him. He opened it up and pulled out the drink with a little difficulty, considering its size. Hm... looking at the front, he saw that it was a 'lemonade'.
He placed it down and sighed deeply. Fuck. He really hated sweet drinks. They made him nauseous.
... He pulled on the tab. It opened up a hole with a loud fizz. He really didn't want this, but he'd made a point of using whatever he stole, even if he didn't want to. As much as he hated other pokémon, he owed them that much, at least.
In order to take his mind off the taste of the vile liquid, he turned his attention to the fighting below. It was that hitmonchan the rabbit was fond of, facing off against a... poliwhirl? No, a poliwrath. To the trained eye, that brutish appearance was a dead giveaway.
Sighing, he hesitantly hoisted the drink up to his lips and took a sip as the fight went underway.
... His eyes widened. Oh, wow... that was pretty bitter, actually. Bitter, sour and with no real sweetness to it. Dare he say that he... liked it?
He smiled gently for the first time in what felt like a while. Not bad.
Hitmonchan ducked to the side, dodging the punch thrown his way. He dodged to his other side, missing the next one.
"[For frick's sake, just let me frigging hit you!]" the poliwrath shouted, going red in the face. He went in for another punch. "[Face Wrecker!]"
Smirking cheekily, Hitmonchan dodged to the right. "[Not a chance!]" he called back. He lunged forwards, both fists glowing a rainbow color. "[Feather Hook!]"
Still recovering from his missed punch, the poliwrath could only stare in horror. "[Shi-!]"
Hitmonchan smashed a fist into his body, causing a chirping noise when yellow bird holograms flew out from the impact.
The poliwrath stumbled backwards with a cry of pain, so Hitmonchan followed up with another punch. He kept alternating punches between his fists to the guy's gut in a fast rhythm, bird holograms shooting out with each hit.
He kept his volley going for a while until he yelled, "[Frost Hook!]" He allowed his fist to grow icy cold and unleashed a final punch to his foe's 'face'.
The guy was launched backwards a fair distance. The impact hadn't frozen him, but he'd started staggering around the arena, looking really unfocused. Probably thanks to Hitmonchan's Feather Hook punches.
The boxer grinned happily when the crowd gave him some loud cheers. Facing them, he pumped a fist energetically, getting himself some more cheering. Man, he loved fighting in The Pit. Nothing compared!
His grin grew even bigger when he heard the distinct squeals of a certain rabbit. One who had been showing up to watch a lot of his fights from the audience, lately. Hitmonchan didn't know who she was, but he was still real happy to have such an eager fan. Especially one who was admittedly pretty hot, too. Heh...!
He yelped when some water smacked the back of his head. He turned around and held his fists up to block his face from another water shot.
"[I ain't losing to... your bullllshit...!]" the poliwrath growled, slurring his words from dizziness.
"[We'll see, buddy!]" Hitmonchan said, chuckling. "[You're pretty good, so maybe you'll get me!]"
The poliwrath charged forwards, his fist glowing red. "[Don't patronize me, you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt!]" he screamed. He yelled out a move name that was too fast and slurred to understand and lunged with a sloppy punch.
Hitmonchan ducked under it and pulled his fist back. He poured energy into it and cried out, "[Upper Hook!]" He brought his fist up and smashed it into his opponent's face with all of his might, going high into the air himself with momentum.
The poliwrath flew into the sky like a lifeless ragdoll. He kept screaming, even as he crashed into the cheering crowd on the hill.
Hitmonchan landed. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he triumphantly raised his fist high into the air. The audience burst into cheers.
"[Looks like Brute-Wrath took one heck of a beating!]" Loud-Announcer yelled to the crowd. He stepped aside to let two chanseys in nurse caps run towards where the poliwrath had crashed. "[If that doesn't mean Determined-Chan won, then I don't know what does! He's moving on to the finals, everyone!]"
The crowd erupted into even louder cheers. Despite that, Hitmonchan could still hear some very distinct squeals in the crowd.
He bashfully rubbed the back of his head. Man, did they have to be so praising? He liked it, but it was a little embarrassing...
When all the cheers died down, Hitmonchan wandered back to where he'd been sitting earlier. As he made his way there, he almost bumped into another chansey. She looked at him in concern.
"[Oh my, have you been healed, yet?]" she asked.
"[Ah, nope,]" he replied, smiling at her.
She stared at him. "[... Would... you like me to heal you, if that's the case?]"
He shook his head and waved his fist dismissively. "[Thanks, but no thanks. Don't need it!]"
"[Oh... um, okay.]" She wandered off while scratching her head.
He tilted his head. He didn't understand why she was so confused. He'd barely been hit in that last battle. Besides, he kind of liked taking a bruise or two in fights. They made him feel like he'd really earned his victories! She'd be better off helping someone else.
"[Haha! Oh, you'll need more healing than she can give out when I'm done with ya, Baby-Chan!]" a rough voice from behind said with a mocking laugh.
Hitmonchan huffed and turned around. When he saw the ursaring who'd talked down to him, he frowned determinedly. "[Nearly-A-Killer-Ring,]" he mumbled. He smirked lightly. "[Hoped you'd be back this year!]"
"[Yeah, after how much I wiped the floor with ya last time, I'll bet you're back for more!]" the bear sneered.
"[It won't be the same this time, I promise ya!]" Hitmonchan flexed an arm. "[I've trained loads since!]"
"[We'll see, Baby-Chan! Maybe instead, I'll put ya in another coma!]"
Hitmonchan determinedly raised a fist. "[No way! Just watch me!]"
The ursaring breathed out a mocking chuckle and moved past him towards the fighting area.
Nodding to himself, Hitmonchan continued towards his seat from earlier. No way things were going to end up like last time. If he lost again like last year, he was going to make sure it was a close match!
After a small while of walking up the hill, he heard a ruckus to his right. Looking, he saw a nidorino wearing a strange amount of jewelry. He was talking loudly while sitting on his rump, with both arms slung around a girl each. A grumpig and a furret, specifically.
Hitmonchan was pretty impressed. Wow, this guy really had his life together, didn't he? It wasn't the kind of lifestyle Hitmonchan could see himself having, but he could appreciate someone who could keep up with it.
The nidorino suddenly cracked up with laughter. "[Oh, lemmie tell you two lovelies, it made me crack up my ass with laughter!]" he said. "[Never heard a guy scream like that once in my life 'till then! Made the whole hold-up worth it!]"
The girls he was with giggled at his tale.
"[Did you chase him down and take his stuff after?]" the grumpig asked.
Hitmonchan's eyes widened. Take his stuff...?
"[Naww! The good laugh was enough!]" the nidorino chuckled. "[Shame to let the pearls he had get away... but me? I'm an honorable bandit!]"
So he was a bandit... That certainly explained all the jewelry he had on him.
The grumpig giggled again while the furret looked awestruck.
"[Woooow! You're a totally cool rogue… but you're so nice, too!]" the furret said.
"[Yeah, a real charmer!]" the grumpig agreed.
"[Not as charming as you two beauties!]" the nidorino replied with smirking. "[If you two aren't in the top percentage of pretty girls, I don't know who is!]"
The grumpig giggled again while the furret looked very flattered. Both had blushes on their faces.
"[O-Oh, my!]" the furret muttered.
"[With that sort of talk...]" the grumpig started, "[we might want you to... steal our virginities, next~]"
The furret covered her face with her paws. "[Ohh, did you have to say it like thaaat...?]"
"[Don't kid yourself, you know you want it, too, honey,]"
"[... Th-That's... Well... m-maybe a b-bit, but still!]"
The nidorino laughed again and held the two girls closer. "[Hey, if you girls want that stolen, then, tonight... I'll be a master thief!]"
The grumpig giggled and cheered lightly. The furret's face went bright red, but she still smiled.
Hitmonchan could only shake his head in total exasperation. Wanting to do that with a criminal... What a world.
Shrugging to himself, he walked past the small group. While distracted, he accidentally knocked something over with his leg. Looking down at it, he gasped. In front of him was a purple cat pokémon he didn't recognize the species of, lying flat on their front, dazed. "[Oh, sorry there, pal!]" he said. He held a fist out towards him. "[You okay?]"
"[Ughh... what do you think...?]" the cat groaned. A 'purrloin', if his language was anything to go by.
Hitmonchan grinned sheepishly. "[Er... yes?]"
Huffing slowly, the purrloin pushed himself onto his hands and legs. He looked back at Hitmonchan with a dry look. "[... Yes. Yes, thanks.]"
The boxer picked him up by the scruff of his neck and placed him onto his feet.
The purrloin brushed himself off and nodded at him. "[Appreciated. Just please watch yourself next time, alright?]" he said.
"[Yeah, that was my bad, sorry. Distracted by their, um...]" Hitmonchan indicated towards the nidorino with his fist. "[... By what they were talking about.]"
The purrloin pulled a face. "[Ahh... Yeah, understandable.]"
Hitmonchan chuckled. "[Oh, did you eavesdrop, too?]"
The purrloin glanced away. "[... Something like that.]"
"[Yeahh, same. Don't think I'm down on his level, to be honest.]"
"[Nope.]"
"[Heh, you'd have to be a real lady lover to really appreciate it, right?]"
"[Um... right.]" The purrloin frowned awkwardly at him. "[No offense, but, um... do you have anything better to do? I'm kind of busy here.]"
"[Oh, right, right, sorry.]" Hitmonchan grinned. "[Taken up eavesdropping as a hobby, huh?]"
"[Sure. Um... bye.]" The purrloin quickly stalked away. He moved over to somewhere on the other side of the nidorino.
Sighing amusedly, Hitmonchan shrugged and walked away, himself. Not the most social of pokémon, apparently. Oh well, whatever suited the little guy. Maybe he was just grouchy that he couldn't find a lady friend of his own.
Hitmonchan paused. Lady friend... Hah, he suddenly had a great idea! Maybe... he could pay his favorite fan a little visit...
Grinning happily, he began to walk over to where he'd seen her, earlier. He found himself a bit more excited than he'd expected to be as he moved along.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Finished: 16/04 (April)/2019
Word count: 7,458
VGS2's pointless notes: Jeez… I never thought I'd do so many different POVs in one chapter, but here we are, I guess. XD Fun, though! And don't worry… they're all important in some way, shape or form. If you can guess how, then I shall reward you with… a thumbs up! (Unless you're reading this after looking at the future chapters, in which case you're being a cheater. Thumbs down for you!)
Ah well, either way, thanks for reading, guys! I hope you enjoyed the voyage in random OCs which I hope you give at least a vague shit about. :P Please lemmie know your thoughts and feelings! And I hope you don't mind that I made at least three of them say some variation of "What a world," at some point. That was… um… totally on purpose. Yeah. XP
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot to say. Just so ya know, the fic's probably gonna slip into M-rated by the time you've read this message. Something that I always planned to rate it as, mind, but it would've been a bit silly to start it off with that when not much happened in chappie 1. Unless flabby egg monsters are just that triggering, I guess. XP Hope you guys don't mind, either way!
… Oh yeah, and I nearly forgot. Again. XP I added a section near the end of chapter 1 for Pi-Pleasant, just so it doesn't seem like everyone's happy that Show-Off-Pi blatantly killed someone. Go read it, if ya wish! :P
Fun mistake/s of the day: #1: 'Smiling, she delicately landed a rock one on her tippy toes.'
(Ouch!)
#2: 'Just before the rock slammed into the ground, she jumped and yelled "Pretty Dome!"'
(Look at Show-Off-Pi over here. She's so impressive that she can speak English, now!)
#3: 'All the other pichus called out similar things about wanting to hear Pi-Needs ore'
(This pichu desperately wants to become a miner, I guess.)
#4: 'She'd been a bit shakt at first,'
(That's what happens when you play Shaq-Fu too much. Or at all.)
#5: 'She let some Lovely Fireworks fly out of the top of her head at her friend's announcement.'
(But Show-Off-Pi... it was your announcement, not hers! Are you trying to give her credit for it, now? How generous. XP)
#6: '(But Sow-Off-Pi... )'
(Show-Off-Pi became a pig, I guess. Or perhaps she's just into gardening?)
#7: "[I've given many ladies their fare share of kids,]"
(Does Stud-Leon charge a fee for kiddy making? Or does he have to pay for child support? Unfortunate if so, considering how many children he makes a day.)
#8: 'She was gripping onto a male monferno's arm,' *Later* '"[Speak for yourself...]" the boy infernape groaned.'
(He evolved, apparently! Whoops. XD I guess all that sex he had really did him some favours, huh?)
#9: 'He started walking elsewhere, now a little more alert tan before.'
(He stayed in the sun for too long and got a strangely cautious tan.)
#10: 'The tournament was taking placing in a large, almost hole-like valley,'
(They're taking placings for the fighters already? Like first and second and whatnot? I sure hope Ash Ketchum isn't there, or else he's gonna make the fandom rage disproportionately again by getting anything less than first. That or he'll achieve the dream and end the show by getting first. XP)
#11: "[Oh, excuse me, sorry,]" a roselia name said,
(Aww fak. At first, I wasn't sure what species to go with, so I wrote 'species name here' as a placeholder. Somehow, I forgot to change it, so it's a roselia name now. XD)
#12: 'Either that, or sealing whatever they had would be too bothersome.'
(Because I missed a key, I've turned Purrloin into a goddamned Shinto priest now. Father Purrloin has begun his quest to exorcise all the demons of The Pit by sealing them away.)
#13: "[There he is! Oooh, it's Determined-Chan!]"
(Not a mistake really, but when reading this out loud, I just bust a gut laughing at the name. Goddamn it… XD "Hai, hai desu, Determined-Chan senpai~!")
#14: "[He waved back! Oh my godness]"
(Lel, it almost sounds like an actual explicit.)
#15: 'Lop-Squealer flusteredly kicked her feet. "[Loop-No-Filterrrrr!]"'
(Sounds like a fighting game technique. Or some kind of cigarette.)
#16: 'With their attention on the tournament, it was a simple manner of wandering around inconspicuously'
(If that's your usual manner of doing things, you should probably reevaluate your life, mate.)
#17: 'the one being nuzzled whined playfully, putting her book down. Purrloin couldn't easily tell its gender. '
(Purrloin, you fecking liar! "Yeah, I'm not sure about that girl's gender." Next you'll be saying "Huh, I'm not sure about that lopunny's species…")
#18: 'So with that in mind… why were their triangles right in the middle, where it was near possible to decide either way?'
(If it's near possible, then that's not very noteworthy then, is it? Unless the triangles are slightly off, but not off enough to be ambiguous. XP)
#19: "[Part of me is really glad Mom us]"
(A part of him is a glad mom? Or is he saying they're both moms? I hope not, everything considered.)
#20: 'He wandered closer to up a kecleon'
(Purr-Fondler strikes again!)
#21: 'He glanced around to confirm before taking a deep breath. He took a deep breath and'
(... Took yet another deep breath, I guess? Is he hyperventilating?)
#22: 'Hitmonchan smashed a fit'
(Determined-Chan wants to make love to the Wii Fit Trainers, apparently. "Ready to get that body moving...!")
#23: 'The boxer pumped a fist. He grinned happily as the crowed gave him some loud cheers in response.'
("Caw caw caw!" *Flaps wings excitedly*)
#24: '"[I ain't losing to... your bullllshit...!]" the poliwrath growled, slurring with his words from dizziness. *Next line* "[We'll see, buddy!]" Hitmonchan said, chuckling. "[You're pretty good, so maybe!]"'
(What a cocky bastard... I think? "You're good, so you might lose!" Whatever he was trying to get across kind of failed a bit, I think. XD)
#25: 'The poliwrath flew into the sky like a lifeless ragdoll. He kept screaming, even as he crashed into the cheering crowd on the hill. *Next line* Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he triumphantly raised his fist high into the air. The audience burst into cheers.'
(Lol, after getting his ass kicked, I guess Brute-Wrath just assumed he won.)
#26: "[He's moving onto the finals, everyone!]"
(He's not going on to the finals. No, he's physically going to go on top of the finals. What a troublemaker.)
#27: 'Besides, he kind of liked taking a bruise or two in fights. They made him fell'
(He likes being horribly injured to the point of not being able to walk! Different strokes for different folks, clearly.)
#28: 'Hitmoonchan'
(Don't hit Moon-chan! D:)
#29: 'Jeez… I never thought I'd do so many different POVs in one chapter, but here, we are, I guess. XD Fun, though! And don't worry… they're all important in some way shape or form.'
(Whoops. The comma that should have come after 'way' decided to travel up my author's note and turn me into William Shatner. God, frigging, damnit… XD )
Christ, so many mistakes. Jeeeesus… O,o Makes-So-Many-Goddamn-Mistakes-Man. That's what they should call me… XD
Ah well, thanks again for reading and tata for now! c:
