Ya know, this is the first angsty piece I've done with Matsu and Hitsu. Well, it's not the first I've written, but it's the first I've put up on I usually do funny, cuddly fluff- sometimes it can be a lil sad, but 'tis always fluffy. But this here is a deviation from that. I've done Shiro angst before, but I've never really explored Matsu much. So here I'm experimenting with a different side of her.

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"Why? Why couldn't you have waited for the rest of us? You took off too soon- and look what happened! You just had to chase that stupid cunt-" Matsumoto wiped at her eyes with her long, loose sleeves futilely. More tears streamed down her soggy face. Her once-luxurious hair was tangled and matted. Her makeup was washed away by her tears, and her pink and brown witch robes were torn, stained, and askew.

Hitsugaya lay pale and unmoving in the hospital bed at St. Mungo's. He looked like a little ghost swathed in white sheets and bandages. His smooth skin was a shade paler than the stark white linen. It was as if he was fading before her blood-shot eyes.

Matsumoto sat in a chair by the head of the bed. Hitsugaya's head was wrapped in a thick layer of bandages. She clutched his limp, slender hand in both of hers. It felt soft, small, and fragile, like a butterfly with broken wings. The only sound in the dim room was her heart broken sobs.

The door creaked open. "Hey, I brought you some Butterbeer." At her nod, Renji sat the glass down on the table by Hitsugaya's bed, then leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. "Still no change?"

Matsumoto's hands tightened on Hitsugaya's as she shook her head. "His skull's been fused back together for hours now, yet he still hasn't woken up. The Healers think he might've slipped into a coma…they don't know if he'll ever wake up."

Renji sighed heavily. "And the brain damage?"

Matsumoto flinched. "They can't be certain of the extent until he wakes." Her voice was flat and dead.

"At least he's alive. That's more than I can say for Rukia." Renji closed his eyes and pressed his fingers against the lids.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Her words were hollow. She did care for Renji and wanted to be sympathetic for him, but all she could feel right now was worry for Hitsugaya. She was consumed with fear and concern. Hitsugaya was her world, and he was broken.

Renji glanced at the listless Hitsugaya. "And I'm sorry for yours." His words, too, were hollow. Rukia had been his world, and now she was gone. Silence fell heavy upon them.

"He's…I don't care what he's like. I'll never leave him." She suddenly whispered vehemently, clutching his limp, small hand tightly. Hitsugaya showed no reaction at all.

Silence fell again for several more heartbeats, each lost in their own grief. Finally, Renji roused himself from his memories of Rukia to remember what he came here to tell Matsumoto. "The Wizengamont ruled on Hinamori today." Her shoulders stiffened and she inhaled sharply. He stared unblinkingly at the back of her head. "Given the evidence, it was decided she was not Imperiused. She acted of her own free will. So you didn't kill an innocent."

Matsumoto's face scrunched. "Small comfort. I still couldn't save Shiro-chan." Her shoulders shook.

"You kept him alive. You fought seven Arrancar at once to defend him. You were more fierce than Zaraki."

She shook her head. She appreciated Renji's consolation, but that couldn't help the lifeless little ragdoll in the bed. "It still wasn't enough. If he ever wakes up, who knows what quality of life he'll have? His brain- bits of it were smeared on the wall." She paused and shuddered. "My Toshiro is dead- who knows what's left in the pretty shell?"

"Ran-chan…" Renji laid a large hand on her shoulder and squeezed. He didn't know if he would have been able to cope with a brain damaged Rukia. Physically, she'd look the same, but she'd never be the same, mentally. It would be as if someone else, a stranger, inhabited her body. He couldn't even picture a mentally handicapped Rukia.

Matsumoto grew quiet and silent for several moments. When she did speak, her voice was soft. She was thinking along the same lines as Renji. "Maybe…maybe he'd be better off dead."

Tbc….

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Will Matsumoto, still wracked with grief and worry, pull a Dr. Kevorkian and kill Shiro-chan? Should I leave Shiro in a coma? If he does wake, what will he be like?

A review would be nice.