July 2014

It becomes a regular thing. Rebecca and Lila meet on the roof of the sorority house at least three times a week. At first, Rebecca tells herself it's because of the drugs. Lila isn't that bad when they're both high. Rebecca can forget she's hanging out with a sorority girl as well, so that's a plus.

Somewhere along the way, though, Lila decides they're actual friends. It's probably the night Lila goes on a rant about being a virgin.

"You made a virginity pact with Griffin, remember?" Rebecca points out. She turns her head to the side, unashamedly staring at Lila. (If she wasn't so fucking high, she'd do what Lila's doing and stare up at the sky.)

Lila scoffs. "He forced me into that. If he believes I'm going to abide by the pact, he's dumber than I thought." She pauses, looking thoughtfully up at the sky. This voice in the back of Rebecca's head tells her Lila's adorable, and Rebecca tells that voice to shut the fuck up.

That voice, of course, does not listen and comes back with and that first night you met her, you totally stared at her tits without bothering to hide it. Twice. And maybe that's why Rebecca starts to say, "Have you ever thought about –" and cuts herself off, because she knows where that's going even if Lila doesn't.

"Have I ever thought about what?" Lila asks, and she stops staring at the sky to meet Rebecca's eyes.

"Never mind," Rebecca mutters, because even high, that is not a road she wants to go down.

"Alright," Lila says, and she's perfectly content with going on about her life. "Anyway, the virginity pact doesn't matter. I have my eye on this new guy."

"So you're going to dump Griffin?"

Lila smiles mischievously. "Maybe," she says in a way that makes Rebecca laugh. Lila laughs with her and adds, "He's my professor."

Rebecca's laughter dies. "You don't really think that's a good idea, do you?"

"I don't care if it's a good idea or not. He's hot."

Rebecca rolls her eyes. "He can't be that hot. What is he, like, fifty?"

"No! Mid forties, late forties. Something like that."

"Because that's so much better," Rebecca deadpans.

Lila simply smiles. "He's totally into me, too."

Rebecca sighs and gives up on trying to talk sense into Lila. For one thing, it's hurting her brain. On some level, though, Rebecca understands that Lila's not going to stop pursuing her professor unless she absolutely has to. So why even try?

(Maybe if she wasn't high, Rebecca would actually put some effort into talking Lila out of the impending doom this situation promises.)

X

Lila moves fast; Rebecca will give her that. Less than a week. That has to be some sort of record. Lila, as usual, is on the roof before Rebecca. Lila's practically bursting by the time Rebecca arrives. Lila's grinning widely (it has to hurt, Rebecca thinks) and squealing. She actually squeals, and Rebecca remembers why befriending Lila Stangard was a bad idea.

"What?" Rebecca questions.

"We did it," Lila says.

"Who's 'we'?" Rebecca asks, dropping her bag to the ground and sitting across from Lila. She takes the beer offered to her and continues, "Griffin's sworn a virgin until marriage."

Lila rolls her eyes. "My professor and I. Duh. C'mon, Becca, I thought you were smarter than that."

Right. The professor. How could she have forgotten? "Okay," Rebecca says slowly. "And?"

"It's not like how all my friends talk about their first time," Lila says. She goes on about fucking her professor and even dubs him "Mr. Darcy" because he doesn't want anyone knowing who he is. Apparently, that includes Rebecca.

Lila's phone chimes, and she says, "Oh my God," and turns the screen towards Rebecca. Rebecca isn't entirely sure why she laughs. Mr. Darcy's hung – no denying that – but the fact that he's sexting the student he's fucking? Not the best idea. At least his face isn't in the photo.

Lila carries on about Mr. Darcy for a good ten minutes, and Rebecca listens in silence. The more Lila talks, the more Rebecca hates Mr. Darcy, even though it sounds like he's treating Lila decently.

"What about Griffin?" Rebecca eventually asks.

"Who cares about Griffin?" Lila laughs, setting her fourth empty beer bottle along with the others. Rebecca's had one beer and can't bring herself to have another. She feels…sick. She lies back and stares up at the clear night sky, hoping it'll ward off the idea of Lila and Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy's hands running down Lila's body –

And then Lila's lying next to Rebecca, way too close. "You alright?" Lila asks, and Rebecca can hear genuine concern in her voice. Lila's hand slips into Rebecca's, and Lila links their fingers together. Rebecca almost wishes she hadn't; Rebecca's hand is sweaty and she's shaking just a little bit.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Rebecca says, and her voice is steady, strong. She sounds so sure of herself when she isn't. Lila's too obsessed with Mr. Darcy to notice Rebecca's lie, of course, but she rests her head against Rebecca's shoulder and clutches onto Rebecca's hand with both of hers. Rebecca can feel Lila exhale against her neck, warm and gentle, and she hopes Lila can't hear her heart pounding painfully in her chest.

Lila begins talking again. Maybe it's about Mr. Darcy, maybe it's not – Rebecca's brain isn't functioning properly anymore. Rebecca must say something witty, though, because Lila laughs and drapes her arm across Rebecca's bare stomach (thank God for crop tops, huh?) and that is the exact moment Rebecca Sutter knows she's fucked.

(She wishes it was literally, but hey, one step at a time.)

Lila drifts off, clinging to Rebecca. Her chest rises and falls against Rebecca's arm, and maybe this is what friends do. It's not like Lila's ever had any physical boundaries with the people she cares about. Hell, with anyone. She's a touchy-feely person. (Rebecca usually can't stand those types of people, but Lila's the exception.)

Lila shifts in her sleep, bringing her arm up so her fist lies dead center on Rebecca's chest. Rebecca doesn't breathe for a minute. The way Lila's attached to Rebecca's arm isn't exactly comfortable, though, and it snags Rebecca's attention away from the position of Lila's arm. Rebecca carefully maneuvers her arm out from underneath Lila and wraps it around her instead.

And while Lila sleeps, Rebecca doesn't. Because Lila isn't hers. Even though she's holding the sleeping girl in her arms, she still isn't Rebecca's. Rebecca isn't dumb enough to pretend for even a second Lila could ever be hers. She's too hung up on Mr. Fucking Darcy even when she grabs onto Rebecca's hand or lies her hand on Rebecca's chest. Lila has a one-track mind, and it's Mr. Darcy.

X

Lila jolts awake a couple hours later. She lifts her head, her bright blue eyes finding Rebecca's, and Lila grins as widely as she had been when she told Rebecca about what it was like to fuck Darcy. A smile appears on Rebecca's face in spite of herself, and Lila scrambles to her feet.

"This is way too uncomfortable," she says, and despite having just woken up, she sounds as cheerful as ever. "C'mon. The others have probably passed out by now."

Rebecca can't bring herself to argue. Lila holds her hand out, and Rebecca takes it and lets Lila pull her up. Lila immediately tugs Rebecca towards the door, and Rebecca trips over her own feet, stumbling forward.

Lila's right. The other sorority girls are passed out all around the house. It's quite a sight, considering half of them are topless and surrounded by drugs and (mostly) empty bottles.

Lila's not fazed, and Rebecca's willing to bet this is a regular occurrence for her. Not for the first time, Rebecca wonders how Lila puts up with this. Lila weaves through the girls until she reaches a closed door. Lila throws the door open and finally drops Rebecca's hand. Lila groans at the sight of the girl asleep on her floor. She shouts, "Get out!" and the girl jerks awake. "Get out," Lila repeats but in a quieter voice.

"Who knew you could yell at someone?" Rebecca says as the girl exits the room.

"You can't be nice to them," Lila replies, shutting the door. "They won't listen if you are."

"Hmm."

"Well, I'm exhausted," Lila announces. She throws herself down onto the left side of the bed, leaving Rebecca with the right side. "Goodnight," Lila says.

"Yeah."

Rebecca knows for a fact they started out on opposite sides of the bed. She can't really explain what happened between then and now. It's kind of like when they were on the roof, but instead of Lila's hand resting on Rebecca's chest, it's Lila's head. And it's not entirely comfortable for Rebecca, but she puts up with it because it's Lila.

And here she is, holding a sleeping Lila Stangard for the second time in the same night. She's probably dreaming of Mr. Darcy Rebecca thinks bitterly. But Lila's here with her, not Darcy, and Rebecca will take what she can get.

X

When Rebecca wakes up in the morning (because she does eventually get to sleep again) she's confused. She has no idea where she is or who's talking louder than necessary. She blinks a few times and sits up. The bed's too soft to be hers, and Lila Stangard's sitting to Rebecca's right, holding her phone to her ear. She notices Rebecca's awake and smiles apologetically. So at least she knows she's too loud.

"I have to go," Rebecca mutters.

"Ooh, wait," Lila says, grabbing Rebecca's wrist to stop her. "Call in sick to work. We're going out tonight. I'll pick you up." Lila leaves no room for arguments, so Rebecca nods and gets up. "No, it's just my friend," Lila says into the phone. "Don't worry so much."

Rebecca's gone before she can hear Lila say anything else to Mr. Darcy.

X

Lila, as promised, shows up at Rebecca's apartment that night. Well, it's seven o'clock, and Rebecca's nowhere near ready for whatever Lila has planned. Rebecca had assumed 'tonight' meant sometime after nine at the earliest.

"I knew you wouldn't be ready," Lila says matter-of-factly when Rebecca opens the door. Lila shoves her way into the apartment.

"Come in," Rebecca says sarcastically, shutting the door. "What are we doing, and does it involve other sorority girls?"

Lila rolls her eyes. "No."

"Promise?"

"Yes. We're doing something fun."

"That tells me nothing. By 'fun' you could mean we're playing board games the rest of the night or murdering someone. And, by the way, I'd prefer the latter."

Lila chooses to ignore that comment, her eyes trailing down Rebecca's body. "Well, at least you're dressed appropriately. Kinda," Lila says brightly with a feeble smile. "It'll be fun. I promise. Just trust me, Bec."

Rebecca sighs, and Lila knows she's won. Lila squeals (Rebecca should hate that sound, but she can't) and rushes forward. She flings her arms around Rebecca's neck and sways side to side a couple times.

"Awesome," Lila says in Rebecca's ear. "Tonight's gonna be great."