Looking In

Looking In

Part two

Babblings: Alighty, here's the second and final part to this story, revamped and edited. I hope you enjoy it. Please tell me what you think!

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It's strange how so much good can come out of something so horrible. I mean, I still hadn't forgiven Sasuke, but I think me being hurt was worth it in the end. Destin was so amazing. He barely cried, just looked up at me and the surrounding world in wonder. He was curious about everything. I only had to wake up maybe once every night to make him fall back to sleep. For the first couple weeks, I hardly slept, staying up and checking on him constantly. Katherine laughed and called it "new mother syndrome". But I couldn't help it. If something happened to him, I really would die.

A few months after Destin's birth, I found a job at the local diner. I hated the thought of being parted from my son, but I was starting to feel guilty for staying with Katherine and Sakura without paying anything. Sakura loved spending time with Destin though, so I didn't worry too much.

Destin seemed to grow up every day, right before my eyes. For his first birthday, we had a party and half the town came. I could tell by the look in Destin's eyes that he was going to be intelligent – just like his father.

One day I came home from work to find Destin playing on Katherine's ancient and out-of-tune piano. I ran back outside to sit on the porch swing in the fading day of late summer. Katherine came out a moment later. "Who's his father?" she asked, quietly, petting the head of a stray puppy who just liked hanging around us.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

She sighed and said, "I figured."

Destin crawled outside and plopped down at my feet, his arms reaching up. "Daddy," he said. I reached down and gathered him into my arms, crying. He had said his first word.

One day in the summer of Destin's fifth year, the diner was crowded with tourists. I had my hands full and my feet were starting to feel like they would give out at any moment. One of the waiters came to me and told me there was someone at table seven who was asking about me. I figured it was another person who would try to ask me out just like they did every day, so I was surprised, to say the least, when I saw who was really sitting there.

He hadn't changed at all. He still had that duck hair of his (it didn't make me laugh this time) and those distant eyes and that strong sort of aura around him.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I asked, trying to sound calmer than I actually was.

He looked up at me and held my gaze. "Katherine said I could find you here."

"I don't have the time and even if I did, I wouldn't want to talk to you."

Really, I wanted more than anything for him to pull me into his strong arms and tell me he loved me, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. And it was stupid of me to think about that anyways. The smart side of my brain told me that I really didn't want him to.

"I want to see my son."

Was that what it was? Had he come so he could take my baby boy away from me? Not if I had anything to say about it. "Absolutely not!" I bellowed, causing half the people in the restaurant to look my way. "You can't take him away from me."

"Naruto," he said, calmly, but warningly, placing a hand on my shaking arm. "I just want to talk to you. Can I have that much?"

"I have to go back to work," I choked out after a long, awkward moment. He asked me when I got off and I reluctantly told him. He grinned at me, told me he'd be back then, and waltzed out the door.

All the locals knew my story and were obviously wondering if he was the dad. The tourists were just confused. A few girls from both were smiling and saying "Isn't he dreamy?" How unoriginal. When I walked into the kitchen, the manager saw my distress and commanded me to take a break; they could handle things for awhile.

Outside, I wondered how he found me and prayed to a god that I wasn't even sure existed.

He came back exactly when he said he would. We walked in silence for the longest time in the dusk light. I didn't know what to do or say. Tears threatened to come to my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. I had cried over him too much already. "You look older," he said.

"I am older."

"I know." We stopped walking when we came to the town park. He sat on the bench and motioned for me too follow.

"Why are you here?" I asked, still stubbornly standing.

"I've been looking for you for five years."

"Bull shit."

"I wasn't lying that day when I said I thought about you every day. Then again, I was kind of lying, because I thought about you every second."

"I want you to leave. I'm barely getting over you and I sure as hell don't want you to open old wounds. I don't want my son to meet his father once and then have you just leave again. That's not fair to him – or to me."

He didn't seem to know quite what to say to that. I thought that maybe he got the point and would leave, but instead, he said something that caught me entirely off-guard. "I want to stay."

"What?" I gaped.

"Please, Naruto. I want to be part of his life. And yours."

"No," I said, on the verge of crying.

"Just listen to me. Please." Reluctantly, I nodded and he continued. "That one day when I came to see you when you were still at Iruka's it was true that Iruka came and found me, but I myself had been looking for you for those seven months. I almost died when you saw me with Gaara. He had agreed to help me find you if I went on one date with him. Then you ran away. Both Iruka and I were looking for you. I spent all my free time searching for you, looking for any trace of where you had went. Iruka did too. Every time I went to the bus station, they wouldn't tell me anything. Finally, I just got pissed off and broke in. I found the record, but it didn't have a destination. So, I searched every town along the route, knowing that you very well could have been on the other side of the country." He paused, took a deep breath, waiting for my reaction.

I found that my legs couldn't hold me anymore, so I sat down on the bench, leaving a good amount of space between us.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"Because you did something to me that night."

I jumped up and glared at him. "Oh no, you are not blaming this on me–"

He reached up and pulled me down on top of him, successfully shutting me up. Momentarily. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you got into my heart. And then afterwards… well, you know. I followed my head, not my heart."

Now, I was pretty much scared out of my mind. I didn't want to let him back in. I had spent years getting my walls built up and then he came back and I could feel them crumble, in spite of my attempts to keep them up.

"Please, Naruto, can I please see my son?"

I shook my head, hair getting into my eyes. "How do I know this isn't another one of your tricks? How do I know you aren't going to take one look at Destin, call me a whore, leave, and break my heart once again?" I tried squirming to get away from him, but he wouldn't let me. He was so much stronger than me. Instead, he leaned in and kissed me, softly, slowly, reassuringly. It was just how I remembered it. My heart fluttered painfully against my ribs.

And then he pulled back, that all-knowing smirk on his face. "That's how."

I scrambled to get off of him and rose unsteadily to my feet. My chest hurt at the feeling of my insides falling apart. "Please don't. I-I'll let you see Destin. Just… don't hurt us. And don't... do that again."

He simply nodded and we made our way in silence back to the house. We stopped in front of it, our breathing heavy in the saturated heat of late day. "His name is Destin?" he asked.

I told him yes, pushing the gate of the white, picket fence forward.

Destin ran to meet me at the door. I smiled and picked him up. "Who's that, Daddy?" he asked, flailing his arms at Sasuke. When I didn't answer, he looked his other father in the eye and asked, "Da?"

I don't know how he knew. Really, I don't. He was really smart and the parent he got it from was finally in front of him. Tears fell from my eyes as he leapt from my arms and over to Sasuke. Suddenly, I felt very unneeded and unwanted. I slipped around back. Katherine was back there hanging laundry to dry, humming a tune I didn't recognize. She looked up. She always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. I loved her for it, because sometimes what I was feeling was so far beyond words.

"Is he here?" I nodded and plopped down in the grass at her feet. "So what are you doing out here?" She already knew what I was going to say, but she let me say it anyway.

"They don't need me."

Sighing, she sat down also and wrapped an arm around me. "You should have seen that boy's face when he came here the first time, asking for you. When I told him you lived here, his face lit up so much I could have died happy. There's only one word for that: love."

"He doesn't love me. He loves Destin. He used me, Katherine."

"I know that, honey." She got up and finished the laundry, leaving it at that. She never pushed her point. I knew she wanted me to go inside. She knew I knew it.

I laid there on the soft, green grass long after she left, looking at the stars begin to come out. After awhile I heard the soft rustling of uneven feet on the lawn. Destin came and pounced on my stomach. "Daddy!" Absently, I ran my fingers through his hair as he settled in against my side. "I love you, Daddy." I smiled.

Being A.D.D., like all toddlers, he quickly lost interest and went back inside. I wondered if Sasuke was still there. I had been outside for a long time. He probably didn't notice or care.

Some time later, the screen door opened and Destin came out, grasping Sasuke's hand. I groaned and rolled over so I was facing away from them. I hated seeing Sasuke in my place. It wasn't fair. My stomach went into knots. Since when was the world fair to me? I felt like I was losing the one thing that kept me living. Sasuke was going to steal Destin away from me - intentionally or not. Of course Destin would like Sasuke more. Everyone loved him. What did I have that he didn't?

Nothing.

Before either of them could say anything, I stood up and announced that I was going to bed. No one stopped me.

I laid alone in my bed that night, feeling more hopeless than I ever had before in my life. There was a small knock at my door and Destin walked in, climbing into bed with me. He looked so perfect, curled up, asleep. I reached into the drawer of my night-stand and pulled out my camera. I took a picture of him, capturing the moment forever. Just in case.

The next morning, I woke up early, unable to sleep. Sasuke was down there already. He had his hand on the doorknob when I saw him. "Where are you going?"

He stiffened, turning to face me. "I'm leaving, Naruto." I picked up a glass, sitting harmlessly on the counter and threw it at him, but it shattered harmlessly against the wall beside his head.

"You bastard!"

He visibly cringed. "I'm doing it for you and your son, not-''

"My son?" I interrupted. "Yesterday he was your son and now he's mine? He's both of ours. What, is he not good enough for you?"

"No, Naruto, it's not like that at all! Destin is beautiful. I can't even begin to describe what he makes me feel - what you make me feel. But you obviously don't want me here, so I'm going to leave before I cause any more damage."

Suddenly, something he had told me the night before came rushing back to me: how his heart had been telling him not to let me go, but he followed his mind and kicked me out. Right now my heart was telling me not to let him go.

I followed my head, watching him walk once again out of my life. But this time it was my fault.

I don't know how long I was standing there, staring at the door, but suddenly I felt a tug on my pants. Looking down, I saw Destin staring up at me with those wide, brilliant blue eyes. "Where's Da?"

At that, I started sobbing. I felt someone come up beside me and wrap there arms around me so I wouldn't collapse.

"Daddy?" More tugging on my leg.

"Shh… Naruto, you're going to be alright." Katherine set me down in a chair and I looked up at her through tear-clouded eyes. "You'll be okay."

I shook my head. Why did everything have to be so hard? And why was my heart hurting so horribly? Again. It happened again. And he broke his promise: he hurt us. I couldn't bear telling Destin his dad left again.

"Sakura, help me get him to bed." The pink-haired girl nodded and rushed to my side. I didn't feel like protesting as they dragged me back to bed. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, so I quickly fell into a nightmarish sleep.

I was running, running, running, but I was getting nowhere. It was like an eternal treadmill, but I couldn't see the treadmill. All I could see was white. It was everywhere. Then I saw him. He just stood there. He didn't get any closer no matter how much or how far I ran. Please, my dream-self cried. Sasuke, I-

"Love you!"

I woke with a start, sweat dripping from my body. A small being moved on the bed beside me. Destin was there, curled into a ball against my side. He was small, even for his age. Unfortunately, he would probably end up with my body type. I glanced at the clock and about had a heart attack. I was supposed to be at work ages ago. Quickly, I hopped out of bed and ran down the stairs.

"Naruto, where are you going?" I stopped. "You aren't going to work today. I called in for you." I silently thanked Katherine.

She sighed and walked outside to sit on the porch swing. I followed her. "He wasn't trying to steal Destin from you." I knew that now. I had been selfish, but she wouldn't ever tell me that. After living with her for so long I knew her well enough. "You're Destin's mother-figure. He doesn't love you any less. He's just never known what it's like to have a father."

We sat there for awhile, rocking back and forth, back and forth, a soft breeze blowing through my hair. Finally, Katherine spoke again. "You love him, Naruto. It's so obvious that you do. I know he hurt you, but at some point you have to forgive him. Who are you to stop true love?"

I sighed. "I don't want him to hurt me again."

"Part of being in love is putting your heart on the edge, knowing it could fall at any moment and break into a million pieces, but trusting the person you gave your heart to not to let go. He won't hurt you again."

"It's too late."

"He has his huge annual concert in a week," she said, after a moment's concentration. "I can get you tickets."

My eyes went wide and I opened my mouth to say something, but she spoke again. "But that's all I'm doing, Naruto. I'm not going with you. You have to do this by yourself - with Destin."

Just then, Sakura walked up, hand-in-hand with another girl who had long, blonde hair, pulled up into a pony-tail. I vaguely recognized her, but from what I remembered, they hated each other. Sakura said a rushed 'hi' and then ran inside with the other girl in her wake. "When did that happen?" I sputtered.

Katherine smiled. "Awhile ago." Now that I thought about it, Sakura had been out a lot lately. It made sense. "Sakura and Ino hated each other from the moment they met. They fought over the same boy forever and they hurt each other horribly. Recently, they realized it was pointless. They were in love all along."

Why did I get the feeling she was trying to tell me something in that story?

For the next few days, I went back to my life. It wasn't the same. I knew what I would have to do in just a couple of days. Destin didn't ask me about his "Da". He seemed to know it would upset me. At night when I would come home from work, he would snuggle up next to me and then he would sleep in my bedroom instead of his own. In his maturity, he had long since outgrown sleeping with me. He was doing this because he knew I was lonely. Sometimes I wonder what I ever did without him.

One afternoon, Katherine came up to me and handed me two tickets to the concert. I was to leave early the next morning if I was to make it in time. It was the point of no return. I couldn't turn back now.

I woke Destin at 5 o'clock the morning of the concert. I lifted him into the car, which I had only recently bought, and then said good-bye to Katherine, Sakura, and Ino (who had pretty much moved in). For a long time on the drive there I was alone with my thoughts. I looked back to my little angel sitting in the back seat and wondered what would become of us.

Destin aroused sometime mid-morning. He talked to me in his five-year-old jabber and I was happy to listen. He told me about anything and everything from "Aunty Kathy let me help hang clothes yesterday, Daddy" to "and then I heard these loud noises coming from upstairs. It sounded like Sakura-chan was in pain. She was screaming and…" (Lord so help me, I would have to talk with those two when we got back.)

We arrived an hour before the concert was due to begin. I wasn't sure how the night was going to play out, but I wasn't going to rush destiny. Ironic.

It was more than a little crowded in the concert house, so I made a point in finding our seats right away. I clung onto Destin for dear life, lifting him into my arms so I wouldn't lose him. Our seats were right in front. Honestly, I have no idea how Katherine did it.

He was late. The concert was supposed to start fifteen minutes before. I began to panic. I lifted Destin once again into my arms and made my way backstage.

Of course, the security guard stopped me. What had I expected? I argued with him, telling him that it was a life or death situation. That's when I heard the voice - his beautiful voice. He was yelling at someone, saying that he couldn't do the concert. Then he saw me. Our eyes met and he glanced at our son. "Naruto?"

"You know this person, Uchiha-san?" asked the guard.

He nodded and a bold looked seemed to cross his face. "Yes," he said, reaching to pull Destin and me closer to him. Destin jumped into his arms. "This is my partner and this is my son."

Both the security guard and the man whom Sasuke had been quarreling with stared at him like the world had come to an end, even more so when he wrapped an arm around my waist.

The manager was the first to regain his speech. "Did you say 'Naruto'?"

"Yes," growled Sasuke, holding me tighter. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No," he squeaked and they both hurried away.

"Why'd you come?" he asked me, softly.

"Shhh…" I said, placing a finger on his lips. "You have a concert to do. We have all the time in the world after that.

He grinned and leaned down, placing a chaste kiss upon my lips and handing a squirming Destin back to me. "Thanks."

The concert that night was beyond words. I almost wished Katherine were there so she would understand just how I felt in that moment. His amazing tenor voice and beautiful playing swept over the thousands of people who were there to watch him.

Afterwards, I waited around in the auditorium, not sure what to do. I fell asleep. Sometime later, I woke to the sound of shoes falling heavily on the floor. Glancing up, I saw Sasuke leaning over me. "Hey," he said, "want to come home with me? It's pretty late." I nodded and he picked me up as though I weighed nothing. I protested. Destin got a kick out of it. He dropped me in his convertible. "I have my own car," I said. He told me he would come get it the next day. Destin climbed into my lap. When Sasuke drove off, I thanked god I wore my hair in a braid all the time now.

By the time we arrived at his house, Destin had fallen asleep. It was a different house - not quite as big. He opened the door and took Destin from my arms, saying he was just going to put him to bed. I let him and slumped into a large chair in the living room.

"So why did you come back?" he questioned, coming back into the room.

I shrugged. "I just couldn't let you go again. No matter how much you hurt me, I still love you."

He grinned at me like a madman and pulled me into a comforting embrace.

He moved back with me after that. Katherine welcomed him, just like I knew she would. I didn't want Destin to grow up in the city I grew up in and Sasuke was okay with that. He said he needed a break anyways.

"Naruto?" I was shaken from my memories by Sasuke's voice. "Why are you still up? You should be sleeping."

"Sorry. The baby was kicking again."

He grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist and swollen belly. "You need to stop thinking so much. It can't be good for the baby."

I nodded, relaxing into his touch. I was pregnant again, but this time I had Sasuke with me. Okay, so we had our cliché beginning. But we don't quite have our cliché "happily ever after" yet. We're working on it, though. And, for now, that's all I need.

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Babblings: So there's the last bit. It's not quite as long as the first part. Hope that's okay with you all. Personally, I am quite pleased with this (especially since I wrote it while having insomnia at 4 in the morning). Tell me what you think.