Chapter 2: An Offer They Can't Refuse
Sitting in his office, Vince McMahon was busy completing a pile of paperwork that required tedious attention. He had deadlines to meet and people to lord over and quite frankly...he welcomed it all. Wrestling was his life and if anything he did pointed to it, he met it with fresh eyes and a warm heart. However, he was often distracted by his clumsy assistants and naggy and obnoxious employees. And for some reason, he always found himself head-to-head with someone who spat in the face of authority, his authority. There was Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and now there was D-Generation X. There was always someone to make his life more difficult to live. And if that wasn't enough, he always had to cool down wrestlers who thought that they were wronged in some way. Edge, Randy Orton, and Johnny Nitro were frequent visitors. He felt aggrivated by it all, but it came with the territory. The one thing he wished he could do was fire two of the world's most lovable degenerates, but he had to admit that without them, the company's merchandise sales would drop dramatically. He lost either way.
"Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em." He muttered to himself as he focused on the tiny text on his paperwork with his reading glasses.
Just as he was about to sign his name on the dotted line for a new merchandise deal, the product of his own semen, Shane McMahon, burst into the room holding on to his cell phone.
"Shane! What's the meaning of all this?! You know that I don't like to be bothered when I'm handling this paperwork! I told you specifically not to--"
"I know, Dad, but I'm on the line with the magazine execs for Playboy and they really want to talk to you."
"Why didn't they contact my secretary?"
"It's lunch time, Dad. She's on her break. I'm still working."
"That's right. Pass the phone over so I can speak with them."
Shane gave the phone to his father and stood by to watch and get a better understanding of what was going on.
"Hello, this is Vince. How are you today?...Oh, I'm doing fine. Just handling some business as usual. What would you like to discuss with me?...Oh really?...Four of my divas? In one big photoshoot? That's never been done before!"
Vince's eyes widened at the thought as he glanced over at his son who held the same exact expression on his face. The two men could practically smell the overflow of money that'd come in with such an announcement. Vince removed his glasses as he became more interested at the offer. He continued his method of repeating anything interesting so Shane could take part in the monumental deal as well.
"Oh, there's more?...You want to have eight additional divas for an exclusive WWE Playboy calender?...You bet I'm in!...Ah, yes, there's also a party at Hefner's mansion tomorrow evening?...Shane and I will be there to attend and further discuss this project in person...We look forward to seeing you all as well. You both have a nice day, too. Bye bye."
Vince shut off the phone and handed it back to Shane. "Son, we have to get home as soon as possible so we can get on our jet and meet these people early in the morning," He had already begun putting his papers away in his briefcase with the intention of completeing as much as he could during the flight. "Shane, this sounds too good to be true!"
Impressed, Shane nodded as he headed toward the door to leave and end whatever business he was in the middle of. As he opened the door, he turned around and left Vince with a few words. "Face it, Dad. This is going to be one of the greatest deals we've ever made!" He gave his father a wide smile as he shut the door.
In a few moments, Vince McMahon and his son Shane left their private offices and met each other up. On their way outside, they ran into Vince's personal assistant, The Coach. Vince addressed him.
"Coach! Glad you're here! We just got a call from the Playboy magazine executives and they are giving us a huge offer we can't refuse. We're going to be leaving in the morning so I'm going to need you to keep everything under control until we get back. Can I trust you?"
"You know you can always count on me, Mr. McMahon. I won't let you down." Coach responded, reassuring Vince that he could be depended on.
"Great! We'll see you when we get back."
"Have fun with your show tomorrow," Shane told Coach. "We'll be tuning in."
"Oh, yes. I will. Thanks for the support. Have a safe trip, you guys." Coach said with glee as he watched the two McMahon men exit the building. He walked down the hall, leaving the area without any occupants.
Meanwhile, Shawn and Hunter stood behind the wall giggling to themselves.
"What idiots! They believed every word!" Shawn told Hunter in between laughs.
"Those morons are so gullible!"
"Your Italian accent was so convincing, Hunter! I didn't even know you had it in ya!"
"What about you? That British accent was flawless!"
"'Four of my divas? My gosh! That's never been done before!'" Shawn said as he imitated Vince and began mocking his signature walk.
Hunter chimed in. "Coach, believe me when I tell you, they're giving us an offer we can't refuse'." He, too, mocked Vince's walk.
The duo couldn't stop laughing at their latest prank as well as their almost dead on impressions. They laughed so hard that tears began to escape their eyes. Hunter took the phone he had and gave it back to Shad and JTG, who were also in on the prank and laughing hysterically as well.
"Thanks, guys, for the phone. If they ever look at the caller ID, they'll never know that it was us!" said Hunter.
"No problem, dawg. It's on us this time, free of charge. It's the least we can do to help you boys out." Shad replied.
"Yeah, if you ever need our help, holla at 'cha boys!" JTG added.
"Glad to hear that. We'll holla." confided Shawn.
"Aw-ight. Keep it easy, HBKizzle." said Shad.
"Yeah, you keep it crackin', shawty!" Shawn replied.
At that point, "HBKizzle" engaged in an apparent handshake with both members of Cryme Tyme before the two teams went their seperate ways. Hunter, still puzzled by the "jive talk" that happened a few seconds ago, decided to ask Shawn a question.
"Shawn, what does 'keep it crackin', shawty' mean?"
Frustrated by Hunter's lack of understanding, Shawn gave an aggrivated sigh. "Nevermind it, Hunter. Just focus on the fact that there's two down, one to go. All right?"
"Fo shizzle, my nizz--"
Shawn quickly covered Hunter's mouth. "You're not supposed to say that last part! It's a controversial subject!"
"But Shawn, we're supposed to be controversial."
"Yeah, but not like that!"
"I don't get it. What's so wrong about fo shizzle my --"
"Drop it, Hunter!"
"Okay, okay. If it means that much to you, I will."
"Thank you."
"Let's go attack Coach!" Hunter said with the excitement of a little child anticipating his first trip to Disney World.
"Nah, it's only Tuesday and the show starts tomorrow. We'll give him a break until then. Baby steps, Hunt, baby steps."
"Well...let's go to an all you can eat buffet and treat ourselves to a job well done."
"That sounds like a great idea to me! Let's do it!"
At that moment, the two degenerates left the building, climbed into Shawn's navy blue rental car, and prepared to treat themselves. But what plan did they have for tomorrow's debut episode of Coach's new show?
Coming Up Next: Chapter 3: Boarding the Jet (A new character to be introduced!)
Thanks for the reviews. I enjoyed reading every last one. Tell me what you think about this chapter. Is it funny enough? Am I developing the characters correctly? Did you like the little interaction with DX and Cryme Tyme? What about Shawn's jive talk and Hunter's misconception? LOL! Share how you feel and let me know what you think. Thanks for your time. :-) Take care and God Bless!
