Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers in any way, shape or form. Hasbro, Michael Bay, and others own it. I also do not own anything related to The Phantom of the Opera. Or the idea of the Opera Populaire being a transformer. That idea belongs to IsabellaImogen. I don't know if there is a transformer named Operator, but if so, I don't own him either. I also don't own Soundwave's inferior/superior quote. You'll have to google a spoof of the G1 episode of Heavy Metal Wars. Very amusing indeed.

Author's Notes: Well, I certainly wasn't expecting the response that I did. It has made me very happy that you liked it so much and agree with me. And don't worry, I'll be adding more crazy stuff to it. The insanity is not over yet. Also, if you have not heard Soundwave's original voice, this will not be quite as funny.


Transformers and the Mary Sues

We shall go back to what happened to Machina after she was captured by government agents.

After Agent Smith—I mean—Simmons botnapped—er—kidnapped Machina, she was immediately taken to Sector 7, despite the fact that all Sector 7 agents had been fired and had to actually put their lives on the line like real government agents. Apparently the Mary Sue laws have gone into effect to resurrect disbanded secret agencies.

Anyway, Machina was subjected to horrible experimenting. Agent Frankenstein repeatedly injected Chemical X into her fragile aluminum-like skin. Then he tossed her into a cell where she was cryogenically frozen. After a few hours, her gorgeous frozen corpse started to change, mutate and eventually transform. She became a beautiful mass of gears, switches and blinking lights the world had never seen. She was no longer the Machina Sue everyone knew and loved. She had become…a GIANT ROBOT!!!!!!!

Two seconds later Starscream broke into Sector 7 to exact his revenge upon the humans for freezing his master for decades, although that had placed him in temporary charge of the Decepticons, which made him very, VERY happy. Nonetheless, he broke into, coincidentally, the same cell Machina was trapped in and was instantly blinded by her beauty, despite it being mostly covered up in ice.

Starscream knew that Megatron would be very upset if he did not rescue the most stunning 'bot to ever grace anyone's presence, never mind the fact that Megatron's still stuck at the bottom of the sea. No, Starscream knew he had to rescue her. He grabbed her exquisite iced up carcass, transformed into his jet mode, and whisked her away.

Eventually the Decepticon got to his makeshift base, where he then tried to thaw out his Ice Princess. This was done by use by blowing hot air from the rear of his jet. Within minutes, Machina was unfrozen and started to regain consciousness.

"Ugh…Where am I?" she said groggily as she stood up on her new legs. She saw Starscream and screamed with all her might that her vocal capacitator would allow. Starscream winced at shrillness of the sound.

"Silence you silly little femme! You look upon your rescuer!" He stood up into a heroic posture to show his importance. "If it weren't for me, you'd still be a frozen mass of gears inside Sector 7!"

"You…saved…me?" Machina gasped. "I am forever in your debt!" She threw her arms around her rescuer and kissed him chastely on the cheek. "My name is Machina. Might I know the name of my knight in shining armor?"

At hearing the name Machina, Starscream's little spark came to a grinding halt. He knew that name from somewhere. It took a few seconds of digging into his memory banks to figure it out, but when he did, he gave a startled jump. It couldn't be…

"Um, hello? I'm still here waiting for your name," Machina said.

"Eh? Oh, yes, I am Starscream. Pleased to meet you after all this time."

"After all this time? Are you foreshadowing to a secret which will forever change our relationship or something?"

But before Starscream could answer a shooting star came whizzing by over their heads. "Oh, a shooting star!" Machina cried. "Make a wish Starscream!"

The "shooting star" crash landed about twenty feet away. "I don't think that's a shooting star."

The "shooting star" then proceeded to transform.

"No, it can't be," Starscream said to himself. The transformed robot walked over to the pair.

"Hello Starscream," said a metallic robot voice.

"About time you showed up…Soundwave."

"A necessary delay. And I have brought good news."

Another "shooting star" crash landed next to them. "I have repaired our leader. Behold, Galvatron."

"That's…wonderful Soundwave," Starscream forced out.

The two new Decepticons looked over the femme. "Who is this Starscream?" Galvatron demanded.

"I rescued her, oh mighty Galvatron," Starscream said with just the slightest hint of sarcasm. "I thought she might be of some use to the Decepticon cause."

"Oh, can I be a Decepticon?!" Machina squealed. "You are such nice guys. I'd love to help you."

Machina found herself strangely attracted to Soundwave and Galvatron. Soundwave and Galvatron were strangely attracted to Machina.

"Of course you can join us, my dear," said Galvatron, taking her phalanges and pressing his lips to them. "The Decepticons would be honored to have such an exquisite asset to fight against the Autobots." He put the purple Decepticon symbol on her shoulder.

"Autobots: inferior. Decepticons: SUPERIOR," Soundwave said.

Starscream put a protective shoulder around Machina.

Soundwave turned to Galvatron. "Energon levels decreasing. Need a new source of energon."

"I know just the place. Operator has informed that he is hiding out as an opera house in Paris. Apperently there are large numbers of creatures he calls Mary Sues that is disturbing the local Opera Ghost, better known as the Phantom. We can just kidnap the Mary Sues and drain their life energy and turn it into energon." Galvatron then threw back his head and gave a mighty laugh, which made Machina attracted all the more.